A/N: I've been working on this story for a year. Since I began writing it about two weeks before I left for Japan, it feels heavily tied to my life in Japan so far even though the story itself has nothing to do with Japan or my experiences here. It's strange to be sharing it with other people because of that.

An important note about the number of chapters: This story has 25 "real" chapters. However, there are also going to be twelve of what I've taken to calling interludes. The real chapters are in Remus' POV, but the interludes are in the POV of various characters. While all of them happen chronologically with where they're placed in the story, some of them have a more direct influence on the actual plot than others. Those will be posted as their own chapters, and I'll label them as interludes when I post them.

Word count: 4,177

Chapter 1

The Beginning of the End (As Far as We Can Tell)

"She answered,
'Gilgamesh, where are you hurrying to?
You will never find the life for which you are looking.
When the gods created man
they alloted to him death,
but life they retained in their own keeping."

— Epic of Gilgamesh

Though Remus sat in an otherwise unoccupied compartment, no one asked to sit with him as the train filled with more students. Everyone but the first years knew he was waiting for his three best friends, and no one was eager to be kicked out of a compartment by James Potter and Sirius Black once they arrived. They'd be sure to make it a little embarrassing for the student in question.

It was for the better that the other students were leaving him alone. Remus was in a decidedly bad mood. The train ride to Hogwarts had been a time of joy for him since his second trip when he'd been assured that he would have friend to sit and laugh with the whole way to school.

While he didn't like being in a bad mood, he couldn't snap himself out of it. He'd been crankier than usual for months, and he was starting to worry that it wasn't outside forces causing it but that his lycanthropy was getting the better of him. Years of nightmares that his wolf would overtake him haunted him.

He was ripped from his thoughts by commotion caused by none other than his three best friends. He rolled his eyes. They'd arrived less than a minute before the train was set to leave the platform.

He hadn't been worried.

The door flung open, and Remus scowled as if he couldn't do any differently.

"Moony!"

James was the first to shout his name as if they weren't in a small compartment, but Sirius and Peter echoed the gesture a second later.

"Hey, guys," Remus muttered.

It didn't escape their notice that his response was far from enthusiastic. Sirius plopped down too close for comfort when Remus would rather have been left alone. He cringed when Sirius tossed an arm over his shoulders, and he knew that was the only reason Sirius didn't tug him closer.

Sirius' instinct was to show affection through touch, something that had perplexed Remus since he'd learned of Sirius' family. It had also been something Remus had needed to grow used to after his isolated childhood.

Get used to it he had, but he still had little patience for it when he was feeling frustrated.

"What's up, Moony? You're looking dour today."

At Remus' glare, Sirius withdrew his arm from his shoulders and held up his palms, but he still remained close.

"Sorry."

Though his tone made it sound as if the apology were a joke, Remus knew from the intensity of Sirius' gaze that he was being inspected for answers.

"Is it about your mum?" Sirius asked.

Remus didn't provide an answer. Instead, he angled his body away from Sirius, avoiding the gazes of his friends by looking out the window.

The train was chugging along. They'd left Greater London for the fields that would be outside the train for most of the trip.

Though he wasn't looking at them, Remus could visualize the silent conversation his friends were having. James was glaring at Sirius; Sirius had started out stubborn but was beginning to look guilty for having asked the question. Peter, meanwhile, was looking between the three of them as he waited for something to happen.

"You can talk to us," James said softly.

He'd scooted along the opposite bench until he was across from Remus, who had turned his face even more towards the window.

"I know. Everything's fine."

He didn't care if it was an obvious lie. No matter how obtuse and insensitive his friends could be in other ways, they'd follow his lead if he put his foot down.

Sure enough, James hesitated before giving a short nod and leaning back into his seat.

Remus had almost forgotten Sirius was beside him until the other boy wrapped his hand around his forearm and squeezed it briefly. He withdrew his hand a second later.

"What did you three do this summer?" Remus asked, turning to look at them for their answer.

"Not much," James said with a shrug.

He was reluctant to give the actual answer when they knew what Remus had been dealing with at home while they were running around together.

They'd come for the funeral and played pretend for Remus' Muggle relatives. He hadn't let them stay longer than that.

"Sirius snuck off with Muggle girls so often we barely saw him," Peter quipped.

"How many times do I have to tell you that you have it all wrong?"

James and Peter laughed.

"Right, Padfoot," James said. "You were actually running off with just one Muggle girl. Strange that you wouldn't let us meet the girl who captured your affections all summer, though, isn't it?"

"I didn't say that either," Sirius muttered, looking away.

If he weren't still sitting close enough that their bodies brushed, Remus might not have thought much of his reaction. But Remus did feel him stiffen. He turned to face Sirius, a question on his tongue, but Sirius was recovered fast.

"James is just unhealthily interested in my love life because it makes him feel better about his repeated failure with a finger who we all know and love."

Remus snorted, feeling marginally lighter than before. This was familiar territory. He could handle this.

"Love?" he said. "Sirius, she hates you more than she does James."

"Hate is a strong word," Sirius said. He placed a hand over his heart. "And no matter how she feels about me, I'll always be fond of Evans and her special ability to turn James into a complete and utter idiot."

James muttered a few choice words, crossing his arms against his chest.

"No one makes me an idiot," he protested, but the end of his sentence was drowned out by the laughter of his friends. Pouting, he lifted his chin to stare at Remus' trunk on the shelf above them.

"I have to go," he said a few seconds later. "Apparently, Head Boy duties begin on the train. Who would've thought? You coming, Remus?"

Remus nodded, thankful for the chance to escape the compartment.

It felt strange watching James pin his new Head Boy badge to the front of his shirt. All four of them stared at it for a second, though it was only Remus who hadn't seen it yet.

It was Sirius who broke the silence with a short, barking laugh.

"I still can't believe Dumbledore trusted you with that thing," he said.

Truthfully, Remus couldn't either. He had half-believed he was being lied to when he'd received three shocked letters from his friends all on the same morning.

"Neither can I," James said with an uncomfortable shrug.

"It suits you," Remus said, not sure how much it was the truth.

He'd had no desire to be Head Boy, he reminded himself. His annoyance was rooted only in the fact that James had managed to get the position without the two years of hard work Remus and the other prefects in their year had put in. It had nothing to do with James himself.

He would never have said his immediate reaction to the news out loud. James was already plenty aware of it and didn't need the reminder. Remus had never seen him as nervous as he was with the badge on. He squared his shoulders as if he were about to enter a war zone.

"Evans will be Head Girl, won't she?" Sirius asked with glee. "Nothing else makes sense."

James shoulders drooped.

"Probably," he said in a pained voice. "She's not going to like this."

He motioned at the badge.

Remus took pity on him. Standing, with his own prefect badge pinned to his shirt, he clapped his friend on the shoulder.

"Dumbledore made the decision, not you. Lily respects Dumbledore. She can't blame you for something the headmaster did."

That didn't mean she wouldn't, of course, but that went unspoken as James gave a short nod.

"Let's go," he said, walking out of the compartment without looking back.

Remus hurried after him, feeling like they looked conspicuous hurrying down the corridor at the speed they were. James' nerves kept pushing him faster and faster.

They reached the prefect compartment in no time. Only a few of the other prefects were inside when they arrived, but Lily was one of them, looking bored until she recognized them.

Her eyes snapped to James' badge as if she'd known it would be there.

"Mary was convinced it would be you."

The other prefects talked amongst each other,not eager to get involved in the dispute they sensed brewing. It was common knowledge that Lily and James didn't get along with each other or, rather, that Lily didn't get along with James.

Remus did a quick sweep of the compartment, relieved to see the prefects present were fifth years. Severus Snape was nowhere to be found. Remus suspected that he'd done his required duties before making himself scarce if the rumors of what had happened between him and Lily had any merit.

Sometimes, there were people Lily disliked more than James.

"Sorry," James said, voice cracking. "I didn't ask for it."

Lily raised an eyebrow at him, the edges of her lips creeping upward in amusement.

"No one accused you of asking for anything," she said. "Doing so would ruin your precious reputation."

James shrugged. He was as stunned as always to have Lily in front of him, but he was starting to feed off the somewhat positive conversation they were having. His overly confident persona was taking over.

"My reputation is far too good to be ruined by something like this badge."

Lily rolled her eyes. She took a sheet of parchment from a folder she clutched in her hands and handed it to James before tugging out another that she handed to Remus.

"Lists of your duties," she said. "I've already made a schedule for September's patrols. They're there too."

"But you didn't know it was me," James says, looking between Lily and the sheet of parchment. "How did you do this? And why didn't you wait for me to help you?"

Lily shrugged.

"I knew the Head Boy wasn't a prefect from McGonagall's letter with my badge. All I did was plan for it to be anyone. And took Quidditch into account. Just in case."

James stared at her dumbly, but Lily didn't notice as she shuffled through her papers.

"You're the last two to show up," she said, lacking the frustration over it that Remus would have expected when James was involved. "You don't need to stick around. I'm about to go find Mary."

Remus glanced at the gathered fifth years, all of whom were getting along well. He counted a Gryffindor and two Hufflepuffs, and all three of them were ignoring the seventh years.

"We'll walk with you then," James suggested with a grin. "It wouldn't do to have you wandering the corridor alone."

Lily leveled him with her sharpest glare yet.

"At just past eleven thirty in the morning when I hold more power than anyone on this train except you?"

She gave a short laugh.

"I'll be fine, thanks."

She stomped off, and James had enough sense not to say anything as she went. As soon as the door slid shut behind her, James began tugging at his hair.

He muttered a few words that made the fifth years glance his way.

"Sorry," Remus said on James' behalf.

He took ahold of James' sleeve and tugged him out of the compartment.

When the door shut behind them, a curtain cutting off view of them from the inside, James deflated.

"How do I get her to talk to me?"

"You don't get her to do anything," Remus said, already heading down the corridor. "You're Head Boy and Girl. You'll have to talk to each other for your duties if nothing else. If she decides she wants to talk to you more, great, but you'll only make her hate you more if you force it. Don't forget, you've tried it before."

James let out a dramatic sigh from behind him. His feet scuffed against the floor as he followed Remus.

"I don't want to force her to do anything. What I meant was, I don't know what to say to her whenever we do talk. I try, but I make her mad without meaning to. I guess I kind of used to mean to because it kept her talking to me, but…"

He growled in frustration.

"I don't know how to have a normal conversation with her. How do I keep her from glaring at me?"

Remus sighed and turned to face James. His hair was a complete and utter mess. It looked like he'd rolled out of bed and never touched a hair brush.

"Just talk to her how you talk to anyone else."

James raised his eyebrows.

"But she's not anyone else! She's Lily Evans. If I talk to her like everyone else, how is she supposed to know I like her?"

"Trust me. She doesn't need you to remind her of that anymore."

He reached out to tug on James' robes to get him walking again, and James complied.

"You have plenty to talk about. Talk to her about the same things you talk to us about. Go on about Quidditch and Transfiguration. Though maybe leave out the constant reminders of how much you like her that you subject us to."

"Butー"

Remus held a hand in front of James.

"She knows already. Maybe it seems flattering to you, but I don't think anyone needs to be told someone likes them that many times so publicly. It's annoying, Prongs. How would you feel if one of the girls in our year—someone who wasn't Lily—couldn't stop telling you how awesome you are and wouldn't stop when you told them to?"

For all of James' bravado, Remus wasn't surprised that the supposedly arrogant boy looked less than thrilled at the idea of a persistent admirer.

"Point taken," he said, his shoulders slumping.

Remus reached out to clap him on the shoulder.

"It'll be fine," he said. "I promise."

"The first class of our last year. Can you believe it?"

"Yes," Remus said, rolling his eyes at Sirius' back. "You've only reminded us of it once or twice this morning."

Sirius laughed, tossing a grin over his shoulder.

"Excuse me for thinking about the future for once, Moony."

"You're thinking now? What brought that on?"

Sirius abruptly stopped walking, causing Remus to crash into him from behind. Peter laughed, and even James smirked in amusement, though he reached out to steady Remus before he toppled over. Sirius looked proud of himself as he turned to face a glaring Remus.

"From time to time, I do like to switch my brain on."

His smirk fell a fraction.

"Honestly," he continued, "in less than a year, we'll be free men. No more school, homework. No more teachers. We can do whatever we want."

"Are you complaining or excited?" James asked. "Because I can't tell."

Sirius shrugged.

"A bit of both, I suppose."

He tapped his chin.

"I've been waiting to be an adult my entire life, but what are we supposed to do out in the world? I can't make a living off pranks."

His eyes widened.

"Can I?" he asked himself.

"No," Remus shot back. "You definitely can't."

Sirius pretended to pout but gave up on the performance within seconds. Students streamed past them, coming and going from their classes. A few first years passed, looking lost, and James stopped to point them in the correct direction. The entire time, Sirius was eerily quiet.

"What am I going to do after Hogwarts?" he asked once the other students had disappeared.

Remus' stomach churned at the question. Truthfully, he couldn't imagine Sirius doing much of anything with his penchant for rule breaking and not taking anything seriously, but his lack of an answer wasn't what bothered him most.

"You'll figure something out, Padfoot," answered James. "It's not like I have anything figured out either."

Sirius laughed.

"Right, but you have a fortune, mate. Your mum and dad will give you an allowance, and it'll be more than enough. We," he motioned between himself, Remus, and Peter, "don't have that. We'll have to actually work for a living."

Bile stung at the back of Remus' throat. He angled his face away from his friends as they walked.

"You could always hope your parents both croak this year," Peter said. "They haven't taken you off their will, have they?"

Sirius scowled, and Peter shrunk away from him as if he'd been scolded.

"I have no bloody idea. I'm not sitting around to wait for the bastards to die. If they haven't written me out of it, I'd be shocked. I wouldn't even want their money after everything. I'd rather be on my own."

"As admirable as that is, Padfoot," Remus said, stepping forward to insert himself between Sirius and Peter, "it does mean you need to figure out what you're going to do. Without your inheritance, working is the only way you'll eat."

Sirius let out a long, exaggerated sigh. They were nearing the Transfiguration classroom; there wasn't much more time for conversation.

"You could be an Auror," Peter said. "I think that would be cool. Or working in the Department of Mysteries, imagine what you'd learn down there. Sometimes I think owning a shop would be cool. Maybe in Hogsmeade. That way it'd be quiet most of the year, and I could live above the shop. That sounds nice too, but I don't know what I'd sell."

James laughed.

"I think Wormtail's problem is the exact opposite of yours, Padfoot."

"What about you then?" Peter challenged James. "What will you be doing after Hogwarts?"

James' grin turned into a small, contemplative frown.

"I'm with Padfoot. I don't have a clue. Nothing sounds right."

Sirius wrapped an arm around James' shoulders with a dangerous smirk.

"'With' me? Right," Sirius said. "You still have the rich parents. Merlin knows your mum would keep giving you all the gold you need for however long you want it."

James shrugged off Sirius' arm, his cheeks a light pink

"Okay, I get it. We're in different positions."

Sirius raised one eyebrow. He hadn't expected the joke to embarrass James, but he wouldn't look any of them in the eye anymore.

"It's nearly time for class," he muttered, pushing past the others to hurry into the Transfiguration room.

James had busied himself with removing his Transfiguration supplies from his bag when the others joined him at the back of the classroom. With a sigh, Remus tugged out his own things, thankful that Sirius was willing to pose questions like, "Do you think McGonagall will actually give us more homework this year?" to distract them.

His pouting in response to Remus' firm, "Yes," pulled a smile from James, and things were quickly back to normal.

So much so that McGonagall began the class with her usual sharp glance in their direction. Sirius and James smiled at her in innocence, while Remus didn't bother to hide his eye roll.

"This year," McGonagall began, commanding the room's attention, "will be the most important year of your schooling, as I am sure each of you is aware. In June, you will sit your N.E.W.T.s, the outcome of which will determine your future. I don't want you to be alarmed. Alarmed students never do well on exams. Hardwork will pay off, and if you complete each of the assignments I give you at an appropriate level, I assure you that your Transfiguration mark will be satisfactory."

James, Sirius, and Peter sniggered at the thought that they wouldn't pass Transfiguration, though Peter had shuddered at McGonagall's words.

"This is not a test you begin preparing for in May, or even in January, and expect to pass with flying colors. In many ways, you've been preparing since your first year, but those preparations will intensify."

She paused to look at each and every one of the students. The class was much smaller, of course, than the Transfiguration classes of their earlier years. Only a quarter of their year had continued their Transfiguration studies after OWLs.

"Over the coming months, I want each of you to remember that you wouldn't be here if I didn't think you capable of earning a N.E.W.T. in the subject, but I also won't pretend that any of you can fly through your N.E.W.T.s with only minimal effort.

"And don't slack on your other subjects either. Transfiguration is no more important than the other N.E.W.T.s you're taking."

"She wouldn't be saying that if any of us had bothered to stick with Divination," James muttered just loud enough for the other Marauders to hear.

Peter's giggle almost caught McGonagall's attention, but he sucked it in before she'd turned to face their direction again, his face red from the effort.

The rest of the lesson was McGonagall's attempt to show them how serious her words had been. Remus struggled through it, feeling an increasing sense of panic.

Only Sirius was at ease throughout the lesson. As they practiced their spells, he leaned back in his chair, dropping it back down onto four legs whenever McGonagall glared at him and promptly leaning back again when she looked away.

"What's annoying," he complained as he pushed his chair halfway off the ground, "is that McGonagall won't be the only professor like this. We're going to listen to that same speech in every lesson this week. Thank Merlin I didn't bother with Potions after O.W.L.s. I can't imagine having to listen to Slughorn go on about the importance of hardwork when the hardest thing he's ever done is flatter the right people. Good luck, Moony."

Remus, who always found Slughorn faintly disgusting as opposed to amusing like his friends, rolled his eyes.

"I don't know, Padfoot," James said, voice dripping in sarcasm, "Dumbledore would never have hired someone with no talent. He must have worked hard at some point in his life."

Sirius snorted and gave an exaggerated shrug of his shoulders.

"That must have been before he discovered he didn't have to."

When the lesson came to an end, Remus was determined to keep his head down, throw his things in his bag, and hurry to his next class, but McGonagall wasn't having it.

"Ah, Mr Lupin," she called over the heads of the other students, "a quick word, please."

Remus' head shot up, eyes wide. They'd been at the castle for less than a day, and as far as he was aware, none of his friends had done anything detention-worthy. He narrowed his eyes at Sirius and James, who both shrugged.

"Your guess is as good as ours," Sirius said, hands raised.

They watched him make his way to McGonagall's desk. If he wasn't in trouble, Remus had a guess as to what McGonagall wished to discuss. He would have preferred a detention.

"I know you have class in a few minutes," McGonagall began, hardly sparing Remus a glance as she continued scribbling on some parchment in front of her. "I merely wished to request that you come to my office after classes today. There are some items I wish to discuss with you that we do not have the time for now."

Already, the third years that made up McGonagall's next class were filtering in and taking seats at the desks. A few of them moved cautiously around the other three Marauders, who had positioned themselves right inside the classroom door as they waited for Remus.

"Of course, Professor," Remus said politely. "My last class today is Herbology."

McGonagall's nod hinted that she'd already known as much, so Remus didn't bother to state the time.

"I'll be free then. As I said, you can come by my office. Before dinner, please, Mr Lupin."

She levelled him with a stern gaze that dared him to keep her waiting. Remus gave a short nod, self-conscious of the students who were watching him converse with a teacher.

"What was that about?" Sirius asked as soon as they were in the corridor.

Remus kept his steps fast under the pretext of not wanting to be late to their first Charms lesson of the year. His stomach churned with anxiety.

"She wants me to come to her office at the end of the day. To talk."

James whistled.

"Do you think she has dirt on us from last year and wants to get something out of you?"

It wasn't a far-fetched theory. McGonagall had tried before to get Remus to rat out his friends, never successfully. This time, though, Remus was certain that wasn't it. She hadn't looked at him with the same frustration she had shown when she'd cornered him about such things before, and he knew she had all but given up on Remus aiding her.

"No," he said simply. "That wasn't it."