Ai Mi Yamaegeru
By: Dark Hooded Eriol the Magician
Legal Disclaimer: I don't own CCS because it is made by CLAMP.
What if Sakura loses the will to love? What if the Nothing Card got its way? This is just a delirium but my delirium will produce a great story! Just enjoy this first and wait for the second chapter coming soon!
Chapter I: Painful Reality
Syaoran Li got up from his bed, groggy and dazed. He shook his head to get the brown bangs out of his eyes and blinked rapidly to adjust his eyes to the bright sunlight streaming in from the open window. He guessed that Tomoyo had helped him get home by bringing him there because she was worried about him by what she called his 'mental shock'. He was quite grateful to her but was in no mood to say it. Involuntarily, flashes of the events that happened last night flooded back to his mind. Sakura fainting. The Nothing Card taking away the love that lay in Sakura's heart that the Clowmistress effusively offered to those she adored. And his helplessness to help in the matter. He placed his head in his hands, instantly regretting recalling these morbid thoughts. Nothing could get him to forget it. Nothing could get him to take away the images that he used to like to think about before he went to sleep. Sakura... He loved her not because she had been of perfection but because of her insistent adoration and love. The eyes and smiles she had were enough to melt him into nothing. He knew he loved her more than his life. Syaoran you fool! You had failed your promise! his mind screamed and he wanted to die with guilt. Sakura had been helpless and in need of his protection and where was he? Eaten away by the bottomless mass... Seeing her helpless and vulnerable broke his heart and he dearly wanted to bring her in his arms and protect her forever. And in a second he had failed her. Slightly focusing his mind he went to the bathroom and took off his pajamas and got in the shower. Letting the hot water, soothe his disorganized thoughts. He remembered his conversation with Tomoyo when he had sat beside him in the limousine she had to take him home. She was trying to soothe him and let him realize what he could do. "It's not your fault Li." "Yes it is!" "No. I was gone too. But I know that Sakura did it for a purpose. I know her too well to say that it was for you. I know you love her very much Li, and Sakura had said that she will always love you." Tomoyo had said, her voice so soft and musical that it immediately brought him to strengthen his resolve. After the ordeal that could've shattered his being into a million jagged pieces. "I love Sakura! I love her more than my life!" he had protested. He looked away from her eyes, stormy and filled with so much emotion. He had never seen anyone express his or her feelings so strongly for anybody else. But he didn't care. He didn't care about her soundless concerns, her gentleness wearing off, and her heart slowly breaking down into nothing. He didn't care to give her what she dearly needed...understanding. "That is why I trust that you would take care of her. Love her and keep her safe."Tomoyo calmly said to him as the limousine stopped. She seemed to be keeping herself from crying out; he could sense the hurt beneath her soft voice. He could see but chose not to see it. "Thanks for the ride Daidouji..."he said and bowed as he stepped down tot he pavement. He ignored the pleading blue eyes and the countless words she had said to him...except the one she had murmured before he had turned his back. Words that would secretly torment him before he could go to sleep at night. "If Sakura is precious to you...she is to me too. But you would never know how much she means to me..." And he turned his back on the sleek black limousine that silently drove away. He probably never even noticed its departure. Never noticed the tears shed by the dark haired angel. He shut off the shower and dried himself with a towel. He dressed silently and planned to drop by Sakura's house to see how she was doing. Silently, Syaoran wished that the night before had been a dream, a nightmare that was only a fragment of his dark imagination... something that was not real...
Meanwhile in Sakura's house, she was having a hard time dealing with her family. They were all-silent and had false bravado. Sakura dint understand why her big brother looked at her worriedly, oddly fussing over her fragile condition. Her father stayed home and cancelled his trip to Paris, the one he had wanted to go to just to be with her. She was sitting in her bedroom and was staring at the sky. Kero-chan was asleep in his drawer, all powers of his drawn out in the past battle. The sky was so deep and beautiful that it stirred memories that lay in her heart. Somehow reminding her of somebody's sweet blue eyes. Eyes that never lied and showered her with so much emotions... Tomoyo had called when she woke up and asked about her condition. Sakura didn't know how to react to the best friend she once held so dearly to her soul and heart. She wished that she could feel the way Tomoyo feels for her...to feel the warmth in her best friend's voice and presence. It was wonderful of her to ask about her and to try and talk in her usual way. "I am happy to hear from you Sakura. I wish to see you smiling once more...." Sakura smiled slightly at that. It stirred something warm and gentle inside her. Like an old feeling she can never recapture alone... Before she could think anymore, she heard the crabby voice of her big brother who was calling her. She got up from her perch in the windowsill and slowly walked towards the door, not knowing who was behind it. She turned the knob and faced the serious but lovable face of her big brother, Touya. "What took you, Kaijuu?" Touya asked with his usual tone that he used with her. He was looking at her with that serious loving way he always had as if reminded by something in her. "Gomen ne Oniichan. I was pretty preoccupied..."Sakura mumbled as he patted her head as if she was a cat. Sakura didn't react. Touya sighed and smiled to her. "Are you okay, Sakura?" Sakura nodded and smiled slightly. "Daijobu desu, Oniichan." "I have a visitor for you, just wait here." Touya said and turned to the person behind and Sakura could hear him yelling "Don't do anything to her China Boy or you will answer to me!" Sakura waited until her big brother turned to her and said "I'll leave you two alone. Call me if you need anything." She nodded and then gazed at the face of the boy whom she once loved. There was an uncomfortable silence between them as they locked gazes with each other, silently wondering whether to start a conversation or not. Syaoran couldn't bear seeing Sakura so silent. Whenever they were together, it was always her who starts to talk and he shall follow her enthusiasm. He saw that her emerald green eyes held no emotions of before, it was just...empty. "Sakura? Are you okay?" he asked. "Yes. I think so." Sakura answered. She looked at Syaoran and gave a very gentle smile and said, "Thanks for asking and visiting me." "It's okay Sakura. Um...do you remember anything about last night?" "Um...a little yes. It's quite vague." "I'm glad that you don't have to fear anything...Sakura." Syaoran said softly. He gently reached over and took her hands with his and held them, held the gentle fingers to try and bring back a blush to her cheeks, all he got was a smile. That's a start. She's smiling! Syaoran thought, thoroughly relieved. There were remnants of the old Sakura that was resurfacing. The smile lit her features and brought some light to her eyes but it was never filled by the same emotion called love.
There is neither more Clow Cards to catch nor any Cardcaptors to guide. There were no more problems in peaceful Tomoeda. It was just quiet and no power seems to overpower another. It seemed that nothing could destroy it again. It was in the midnight and Syaoran was wide-awake. He was just staring at the blue sky mantled with the bright stars. Stars that reminded him so much of Sakura. Syaoran gazed at it and sighed. In a few weeks, he'd go back to Hong Kong. Perhaps he'd try to rearrange a marriage with Meilin, though he still shudders at the mere prospect. 'Better have her love you than love someone who don't care for you anymore.' Syaoran thought aloud. It hurt him to think that Sakura will never be able to recover something that was very precious to her. Nothing could soothe his churning thoughts, even the gentlest wind or the coolest water. He shook his head and tried to clear his mind. He still loved Sakura. Nothing must change that! He must stay loyal to her! No woman must make his eyes wander or no emotion must change the course of destiny. Just then he felt his vision cloud suddenly and before he knew it, it was getting more and more frequent. But before he could think an agonizing pain seared through his head, as if trying to force a spear to make the fluids inside him gush out like a stream. His mind blacked out and soon his knees gave way and he collapsed to the floor, clutching his head that dripped with pain. His lips contained the screams that threatened to spill out. His eyes closed in darkness as not to see the flashing red and green. His hands trembled, tremors running up and down his spine, forcing him to lose consciousness. A few seconds later, he woke up and realized that he was lying in the cold floor and was holding his head. Sweat trickled from his cool neck and forehead slightly sending a cold chill up his body when the light wind blew. Shaking, he sat up and removed his bangs from his forehead. He openly wondered if the pain had subsided. It was getting rather more and more harder to fight. It was a sickness that had quite bothered him for a few weeks now and he hadn't figured out why. It was pain beyond measure and it was getting worse, so far in the last attack, he was able to endure it...but this was unbelievable. "Delirium," Syaoran grunted and he went quietly to bed. The attack was so serious that his hands were still shaking. He stared at it for a second before he laid his head down to the pillow and closed his eyes. Get some sleep. Tomorrow's another day. Syaoran chided himself. Forgetting the painful realism of the moment, he slipped away to a world where Sakura was in love with him and where he loved her with all his heart.
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
Hi! So like it? Nice beginning eh? OK! I'm sorry for such little conversation. Arigato for reading!
See you later for this!
By: Dark Hooded Eriol the Magician
Legal Disclaimer: I don't own CCS because it is made by CLAMP.
What if Sakura loses the will to love? What if the Nothing Card got its way? This is just a delirium but my delirium will produce a great story! Just enjoy this first and wait for the second chapter coming soon!
Chapter I: Painful Reality
Syaoran Li got up from his bed, groggy and dazed. He shook his head to get the brown bangs out of his eyes and blinked rapidly to adjust his eyes to the bright sunlight streaming in from the open window. He guessed that Tomoyo had helped him get home by bringing him there because she was worried about him by what she called his 'mental shock'. He was quite grateful to her but was in no mood to say it. Involuntarily, flashes of the events that happened last night flooded back to his mind. Sakura fainting. The Nothing Card taking away the love that lay in Sakura's heart that the Clowmistress effusively offered to those she adored. And his helplessness to help in the matter. He placed his head in his hands, instantly regretting recalling these morbid thoughts. Nothing could get him to forget it. Nothing could get him to take away the images that he used to like to think about before he went to sleep. Sakura... He loved her not because she had been of perfection but because of her insistent adoration and love. The eyes and smiles she had were enough to melt him into nothing. He knew he loved her more than his life. Syaoran you fool! You had failed your promise! his mind screamed and he wanted to die with guilt. Sakura had been helpless and in need of his protection and where was he? Eaten away by the bottomless mass... Seeing her helpless and vulnerable broke his heart and he dearly wanted to bring her in his arms and protect her forever. And in a second he had failed her. Slightly focusing his mind he went to the bathroom and took off his pajamas and got in the shower. Letting the hot water, soothe his disorganized thoughts. He remembered his conversation with Tomoyo when he had sat beside him in the limousine she had to take him home. She was trying to soothe him and let him realize what he could do. "It's not your fault Li." "Yes it is!" "No. I was gone too. But I know that Sakura did it for a purpose. I know her too well to say that it was for you. I know you love her very much Li, and Sakura had said that she will always love you." Tomoyo had said, her voice so soft and musical that it immediately brought him to strengthen his resolve. After the ordeal that could've shattered his being into a million jagged pieces. "I love Sakura! I love her more than my life!" he had protested. He looked away from her eyes, stormy and filled with so much emotion. He had never seen anyone express his or her feelings so strongly for anybody else. But he didn't care. He didn't care about her soundless concerns, her gentleness wearing off, and her heart slowly breaking down into nothing. He didn't care to give her what she dearly needed...understanding. "That is why I trust that you would take care of her. Love her and keep her safe."Tomoyo calmly said to him as the limousine stopped. She seemed to be keeping herself from crying out; he could sense the hurt beneath her soft voice. He could see but chose not to see it. "Thanks for the ride Daidouji..."he said and bowed as he stepped down tot he pavement. He ignored the pleading blue eyes and the countless words she had said to him...except the one she had murmured before he had turned his back. Words that would secretly torment him before he could go to sleep at night. "If Sakura is precious to you...she is to me too. But you would never know how much she means to me..." And he turned his back on the sleek black limousine that silently drove away. He probably never even noticed its departure. Never noticed the tears shed by the dark haired angel. He shut off the shower and dried himself with a towel. He dressed silently and planned to drop by Sakura's house to see how she was doing. Silently, Syaoran wished that the night before had been a dream, a nightmare that was only a fragment of his dark imagination... something that was not real...
Meanwhile in Sakura's house, she was having a hard time dealing with her family. They were all-silent and had false bravado. Sakura dint understand why her big brother looked at her worriedly, oddly fussing over her fragile condition. Her father stayed home and cancelled his trip to Paris, the one he had wanted to go to just to be with her. She was sitting in her bedroom and was staring at the sky. Kero-chan was asleep in his drawer, all powers of his drawn out in the past battle. The sky was so deep and beautiful that it stirred memories that lay in her heart. Somehow reminding her of somebody's sweet blue eyes. Eyes that never lied and showered her with so much emotions... Tomoyo had called when she woke up and asked about her condition. Sakura didn't know how to react to the best friend she once held so dearly to her soul and heart. She wished that she could feel the way Tomoyo feels for her...to feel the warmth in her best friend's voice and presence. It was wonderful of her to ask about her and to try and talk in her usual way. "I am happy to hear from you Sakura. I wish to see you smiling once more...." Sakura smiled slightly at that. It stirred something warm and gentle inside her. Like an old feeling she can never recapture alone... Before she could think anymore, she heard the crabby voice of her big brother who was calling her. She got up from her perch in the windowsill and slowly walked towards the door, not knowing who was behind it. She turned the knob and faced the serious but lovable face of her big brother, Touya. "What took you, Kaijuu?" Touya asked with his usual tone that he used with her. He was looking at her with that serious loving way he always had as if reminded by something in her. "Gomen ne Oniichan. I was pretty preoccupied..."Sakura mumbled as he patted her head as if she was a cat. Sakura didn't react. Touya sighed and smiled to her. "Are you okay, Sakura?" Sakura nodded and smiled slightly. "Daijobu desu, Oniichan." "I have a visitor for you, just wait here." Touya said and turned to the person behind and Sakura could hear him yelling "Don't do anything to her China Boy or you will answer to me!" Sakura waited until her big brother turned to her and said "I'll leave you two alone. Call me if you need anything." She nodded and then gazed at the face of the boy whom she once loved. There was an uncomfortable silence between them as they locked gazes with each other, silently wondering whether to start a conversation or not. Syaoran couldn't bear seeing Sakura so silent. Whenever they were together, it was always her who starts to talk and he shall follow her enthusiasm. He saw that her emerald green eyes held no emotions of before, it was just...empty. "Sakura? Are you okay?" he asked. "Yes. I think so." Sakura answered. She looked at Syaoran and gave a very gentle smile and said, "Thanks for asking and visiting me." "It's okay Sakura. Um...do you remember anything about last night?" "Um...a little yes. It's quite vague." "I'm glad that you don't have to fear anything...Sakura." Syaoran said softly. He gently reached over and took her hands with his and held them, held the gentle fingers to try and bring back a blush to her cheeks, all he got was a smile. That's a start. She's smiling! Syaoran thought, thoroughly relieved. There were remnants of the old Sakura that was resurfacing. The smile lit her features and brought some light to her eyes but it was never filled by the same emotion called love.
There is neither more Clow Cards to catch nor any Cardcaptors to guide. There were no more problems in peaceful Tomoeda. It was just quiet and no power seems to overpower another. It seemed that nothing could destroy it again. It was in the midnight and Syaoran was wide-awake. He was just staring at the blue sky mantled with the bright stars. Stars that reminded him so much of Sakura. Syaoran gazed at it and sighed. In a few weeks, he'd go back to Hong Kong. Perhaps he'd try to rearrange a marriage with Meilin, though he still shudders at the mere prospect. 'Better have her love you than love someone who don't care for you anymore.' Syaoran thought aloud. It hurt him to think that Sakura will never be able to recover something that was very precious to her. Nothing could soothe his churning thoughts, even the gentlest wind or the coolest water. He shook his head and tried to clear his mind. He still loved Sakura. Nothing must change that! He must stay loyal to her! No woman must make his eyes wander or no emotion must change the course of destiny. Just then he felt his vision cloud suddenly and before he knew it, it was getting more and more frequent. But before he could think an agonizing pain seared through his head, as if trying to force a spear to make the fluids inside him gush out like a stream. His mind blacked out and soon his knees gave way and he collapsed to the floor, clutching his head that dripped with pain. His lips contained the screams that threatened to spill out. His eyes closed in darkness as not to see the flashing red and green. His hands trembled, tremors running up and down his spine, forcing him to lose consciousness. A few seconds later, he woke up and realized that he was lying in the cold floor and was holding his head. Sweat trickled from his cool neck and forehead slightly sending a cold chill up his body when the light wind blew. Shaking, he sat up and removed his bangs from his forehead. He openly wondered if the pain had subsided. It was getting rather more and more harder to fight. It was a sickness that had quite bothered him for a few weeks now and he hadn't figured out why. It was pain beyond measure and it was getting worse, so far in the last attack, he was able to endure it...but this was unbelievable. "Delirium," Syaoran grunted and he went quietly to bed. The attack was so serious that his hands were still shaking. He stared at it for a second before he laid his head down to the pillow and closed his eyes. Get some sleep. Tomorrow's another day. Syaoran chided himself. Forgetting the painful realism of the moment, he slipped away to a world where Sakura was in love with him and where he loved her with all his heart.
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
Hi! So like it? Nice beginning eh? OK! I'm sorry for such little conversation. Arigato for reading!
See you later for this!