DxD: KOHA GudaXGuda
Chapter 1

-X-X-X-X-

Walking down the street in the late afternoon, a man looked up to the sky and then about at the crowd, his expression twisted in confusion. As he walked, looking at the signs in a language that he knew he shouldn't have been able to read and listening to snatches of conversation that he shouldn't have been able to understand, his confusion grew greater.

He was quite confused, and he made a point of trying to keep calm, as a grown man freaking out in the streets got all sorts of the wrong attention. Pausing to pat down his pockets to make sure he wasn't missing anything in them, he found something that hadn't been there before and pulled it out to inspect it.

A single card, made of a material that he didn't recognize, with the illustration of an archer upon it.

Flipping the card over and finding nothing other than a blank slate, he murmured, "A Class Card? What the hell?"

Shaking his head he shoved the card back into his pocket and decided to try and find a park or something, this crowd was getting to him…

-X-X-X-X-

A young man with brown hair wiped sleep away from his eyes with a tired hand. Rubbing his face lazily, he yawned mightily.

"Damn, that was some nap…" He muttered to himself, cracking his knuckles and smiling at the sensation. "A bit stiff, but eh."

Stretching his limbs out, the man got up from where he'd been lying on a patch of green grass-

He blinked for several moments, his capacity for speech leaving him.

"What the hell?" He said disbelievingly, looking around incredulously. "Where am I?"

This wasn't Ireland at all. Wherever he was, it was nice and sunny- no rain at all, and the buildings were close together. People of all genders, all ages walked up and down the streets from what he could see, laughing and smiling together in the fortunate weather.

Yes, this wasn't Ireland at all, the Isle of Perpetual Rain. It was… somewhere else.

Veins pumping, the man's shaking hands went through his leather jacket's pockets, trying to find his phone or wallet or anything that could help. His hand clasped around some sort of rectangular object, and the panic seeped away for a short time.

Wrenching it from his jacket, the man quirked an eyebrow. It was a single, rectangular card with the image of an armoured knight holding a sword in en-garde. He turned it over, seeing the same image on the other side.

"A Saber Class Card?" He wondered, confusion breeding in his head. "Where'd I get this?"

It was definitely a Class Card from that Prisma Illya series, of that there was no doubt. The twenty-one year old rubbed it between his fingers experimentally, before pocketing it into his jeans.

It was only then he realised he was in his preferred casual clothes, but breathed out uneasily and began walking.

Maybe he could find a public phone or something, to contact back home.

His brow furrowed and he breathed in and out as he stalked forward.

-X-X-X-X-

The park the man had found was actually oddly abandoned for a sunny day, though he paid it no mind as he strolled the paths of the park. Taking a few deep breathes, the man crouched down just off the path under a tree, reaching up to rake a hand through his blond hair.

"Fuck all of this."

While walking he'd checked his phone and found that not only did it not connect to his service provider, but it also didn't allow him to connect to any of the apps he had installed on it. He was lost, in a foreign country, with no real way to contact anyone he knew, especially given the fact that no one would take his money.

He rocked back on his heels, standing from the squat as he stared into the park, the greenery not giving him any satisfactory answer.

He sighed as he stepped back onto the path and decided to start walking again, he needed to calm down, get the jitters out of his system.

Nearby, the other man had gradually been losing his mind. Like the other, his phone wasn't working if at all, and nothing could be dialled in- it all went to voicemail or to just static.
"Fucking damn it," He hissed to himself, scratching his head harshly.

Anger pulsed through his veins and he stuffed his useless phone roughly into his pocket. Leaning against a tree, he focused on the sounds around him- the birds, people talking and the gentle breeze that cooled his skin.

Doing this always helped, he found. Concentrating, feeling his limbs lose their strength from non-use, the irritation and sheer fear melted away. He opened his eyes once more and walked off.

At that moment, he noticed someone else nearby. Stopping, he raised an eyebrow at the sight.

It was a blond guy, around his age he'd think, pacing through the same park. His face was anxious, drawn into itself, and he was looking around like he had been- desperately and in fear.

"What's his deal?" He wondered, weighing his options.

After a minute, he shrugged and walked over to the guy steadily, heart pounding. Maybe they were in the same mess.

Once he was nearby, he raised a hand in welcome. "Hey! Are you okay?"

Staring at the man who'd called out to him, the blond shrugged, "S'all fuckery in my books dude. Today is the definition of not mine. You?"

The brunette nodded in sympathy, his chest jittering. "Yeah, me too. I have no idea where I am, see."

From his jacket he took out his Saber Class Card, flashing it to his companion. "Had this though. No idea why."

"Well, it seems we're in the same boat in both cases. No idea where we are, and a Class Card in our pockets," The blonde chuckled darkly, pulling out his Archer Card. "The name's… well, call me Trent."

The brunette raised an eyebrow at the given name, staring at 'Trent'. "Huh… I know a guy who wrote stuff, using Trent as his pen-name. Nice guy."

He stretched his arms out, feeling them crack before extending a hand. "Call me Josh then. Nice to meet you."

"Ha, if he used Blackmore as the last name and Lord as a title, then that'd be quite something, seeing as that's the name I used online," Trent laughed as reached out and gave Josh's hand a shake.

Josh raised another eyebrow, head spinning. Blackmore? Yeah, that was definitely familiar. Was this actually the Trent he knew? The guy hadn't ever told him his hair colour, not his height either.

He breathed in, and decided to take a leap of faith. Hell, the stress was driving him mad- what was one more disappointment to him?

"I'm KnightOfTheEnd online, by the way," He replied, meeting Trent's gaze. "I write Fate stuff mostly, plus I have a problem with coming up with too many ideas."

"Huh, things are all falling in weird ways, ain't they Kote?" Trent replied, though he wasn't quite sure how things had come to this. How had he and Josh ended up wherever they were, why the two of them, and why did they have Class Cards. There was too much to consider…

Josh nodded. Even now, with confirmation, he could hardly believe the situation they were in. It was almost surreal, seeing unfamiliar people walk by.

"Boy, that's an understatement," He replied, head running through possible courses of action. "This is just like a self-insert, isn't it? Never thought I'd actually be in one."

"Don't, don't do that. We're actually dealing with this, trying to contextualize like that is like trying to convince yourself that something's just a dream. Sure, the situation is certainly like that, but we're actually here, with these damn Class Cards," Trent scolded the other man, his fingers rubbing the material of the Class Card in his hand.

With a shake of his head, the blond swept his arm out toward the center of the park and declared, "Hell, in something like that there's usually some big sign to let everyone know the setting!"

As Trent ranted, which his companion tuned out of, something caught Josh's eye. Or rather, someone did.

Across the park, walking down the streets of the town were two people. One had long black hair and… he squinted his eyes- yes, she had azure eyes as well. Her companion had brown hair like himself, but the back spiked up at the back of his neck.

They were a fair distance away so Josh narrowed his eyes even more, strain pounding on his eyelids.

With a sinking suspicion in his stomach as well as a sense of pride, he turned back to Trent. "Hey, about that divine tip? I think I know where we are."

Following Josh's direction, Trent caught sight of the duo by the fountain, catalogued their features, and felt panic well up in his stomach. He quickly pulled his glasses away from his face to see if there was any dirt or smudges on them, before jamming them back on when there was none.

Rather than wait, he started to move towards the duo. Even if the kid was a massive pervert who needed to rein it in, he was still a kid.

His fingers tightened around the Class Card, maybe if he showed up he could get Raynare to abort her plan…

Josh started as Trent began marching purposefully towards the couple. Yelping in surprise, he jogged to catch up to his companion. Goddamnit, was the guy thinking of doing this for real?

"Hey hey hey, Trent! Cool it!" He said to him, matching his pace. "If this is where we think it is, getting involved isn't a good idea! Chances of her impaling us are pretty high, and I'd like to keep myself alive!"

It was the honest truth. Josh liked very much to keep himself alive and without any wounds. If that meant being a bit of a dick and not going to help someone, that was how it was. Survival was his main concern, especially right now.

Conflict rose in his chest, but he ignored it for the time being.

Keeping up his pace, Trent replied, "I'm a lot of things, but I'm not the sort of person to let a kid get fucking murdered. Besides, we don't have to attack her or anything, she still has to keep the Supernatural a secret, so if there's more than Issei here than she'll have to weigh the benefits of killing him versus the chances of us seeing her and then escaping."

Josh sucked in a breath, determined to argue his point. "This is Raynare, Trent. Remember? She gutted Issei and took a lotta pleasure out of taking out Asia's Sacred Gear. If anything, she'd revel in the chance to gut people like us!"

Raynare was a sadistic bitch alright, from his memories of the source material. Typical villain loving to monologue, but she backed it with psychologically fucking Issei for a good while after her death.

No way did he want to metaphorically stick himself into crazy!

"She also had the upper hand in both cases. She ran rather than properly confront Issei when it was just her picking up Asia while they were in public!" Trent replied, trying to close the distance even as the two in question fluttered near the fountain.

Josh nodded reluctantly as they neared the fountain, the two 'lovebirds' coming near to it also.

"Alright, fine, I give you that one," Josh admitted, falling into line. "But still… this is really bone-headed. Shirou level-bone headed. Hell, we don't even know if our Class Cards are gonna work."

To illustrate his point, Josh took his out once more and glanced at it.

Yes, Include and Install were possible with them, but he didn't even know the Hero inside his. Trent probably didn't either. They could have anyone, and knowing the Hero in advance would be a massive advantage.

As they came nearer to Raynare and Issei, Josh frustratingly swore under his breath. He didn't know Trent could be such a stubborn son of a bitch, and every instinct was telling him to run, but…

Issei was a pervert, a huge one, but no way did he deserve to die.

"You're gonna get us killed Trent," Josh said at last, breathing out and letting his shoulders sag. "Just saying."

"Never told you to come along, but thanks for doing so. And you're right, this is stupid, but like I said, I'm not gonna let a kid get killed," Trent answered as he slowed his pace, trying to look like he was just on a casual stroll. He wasn't quite so sure if he managed it.

The sky turned orange quickly and a cutting breeze sliced through Josh. He tugged his jacket further around him, but it did no good. And from the looks of it, Trent wasn't doing much better.

They were close enough now to 'Yuma' and Issei now. Yuma was whispering something in Issei's ear, something that left the boy confused. Then she stepped away, hands behind her back-

Blood pumping noisily in his ears, Josh decided what his course of action would be despite himself.

"Fuck it!" He groaned to himself, picking up his pace and running like hell.

He pounded down the stone, leaving Trent behind, breathing in and out. His lungs burned and his legs felt like lead, but-

Issei turned his head towards him, eyes widening as he raced right at him, snapped out of his confusion.

"Hey wait, what are you-" The boy asked frantically, waving his hands to and fro in a panic.

"Saving your life you dipshit!" Josh replied heatedly, tackling the kid to the ground.

A moment later, a Light Spear stabbed right into where Issei had just been standing. It melted the concrete around it, before fizzling out.

Josh grunted as his shoulder slammed into the ground painfully, crushing on top of Issei before rolling off with a slight effort.

Trent shook his head as he pulled out his phone and pointed it at Raynare, better to have some sort of threat to hold over her head. The Fallen Angel had completed her transformation and was seething in the direction of the two on the ground, even as the blond approached.

He'd honestly thought that Josh would have left this all up to him, looks like he's a bit more self-sacrificing than he'd admit.

Taking a deep breath, he aimed his shaking hand at the Fallen as he threatened, "Hey, you let us go or I'll send this picture to everyone."

The Fallen rounded on him, a Light Spear in her hand as she snarled, "Why the hell should I listen to a worm like you?"

"Because I have a picture of you, and my friend over there does too. You try anything and we expose you to the world," Trent tried to grin as he waved his phone a bit.

The Fallen laughed mightily, and haughtily, as she hefted her spear, "Like I need to listen to a worthless human!"

The spear was thrust, and the world seemed to slow for Trent as he tried to dodge out of the way. He'd been wrong, Raynare was going to kill them.

He was going to get Josh killed.

He hadn't changed things for Issei.

He was going to die.

The Class Card burned in his hands, it was his only hope… but what if it was a dud? Worse what if it was for someone like Gilgamesh?

His breath caught in his throat, he had to risk it, "Install!"

A sudden light rose around Trent, shielding him from view. Josh gasped as the bright light stunned him, covering his eyes. Beside him Issei did the same thing, and the brunette thought he heard Raynare recoil from the light too.

The light disappeared into wisps, and Josh saw what Trent was garbed in.

Red and black clothes, like an officer, with a long cape fluttering behind him. A tall hat on his head with a golden star on the front, and long-barreled guns clutched in his hands.

Issei shuddered beside him, left arm trembling. "W-what's that guy?"

Josh slapped his face, unable to dispel the shock. "That is...uh, Oda Nobunaga?"

Well, this was fantastic.

Trent flipped the gun in his right hand up, the barrel aimed at the spear coming towards him, and squeezed the trigger. The shot sounded like cannon fire in his ears, the bullet tearing from the rifle and through the spear with ease.

Rather than stop there or dissipate, the bullet continued on and into Raynare's hand, wrecking it. Blinking at the result, Trent couldn't help but murmur under his breath as the Fallen shrieked in pain, "Right, Anti-Divine and Anti-Mystery."

Rather than continue on like that, he hefted the gun in his left so it was pointed at Raynare's head, the former angel's usually beautiful face twisted in agony and rage. Breathing out heavily from his nose he declared, "Leave, or I'll do a lot worse than ruin your hand. I don't think even an agent of the Grigori would shrug off a brain full of lead."

The Fallen shuddered, clutching at the stump at the end of her arm as she snarled, "You think that you'll just get away with this? You're just some human, less than trash!"

"And you're below me, so what does that make you?" Trent answered coolly, making a show of cocking the rifle. "So tell me, you feel like testing your luck?"

"Holy shit." Josh said in awe, dumbly sitting on the hard street.

His nerves had faded by now in the display Trent had just shown them all. Replacing it was excitement and something… that blazed in his chest. Was it admiration?

Trent had taken care of Raynare's weapon and wounded her so easily. It made sense given Nobunaga's kit and skills, but still… blowing her away when she was about to murder them all…

He smiled, showing off his teeth.

Maybe they would end up surviving after all, he thought as his hand unconsciously drifted to his pocket.

Shivers sounded beside him. He looked: Issei, whilst being awed too, was trembling like crazy. His breaths were rapid and heavy and his skin was turning pale. Every part of him was trembling and his eyes were fixed on Raynare.

With a sinking sensation, Josh knew what Issei was going through.

He was having a panic attack.

"Issei… Issei!" He addressed the boy, who didn't respond.

Gulping down the weight in his throat, Josh crawled up to the kid slowly so as to not get Raynare's attention.

Pulling up beside the pervert, he gently grasped Issei's shoulders. The boy reacted now, looking at him with shaking eyes.

"Breathe, in and out like this," Josh instructed him patiently from his own experiences. He breathed in and out slowly, rhythmically. "In...and out… Can you do that for me? It'll help, trust me."

Issei didn't quite seem to hear him: he kept on shaking for a good minute, but eventually he nodded and modified his breathing pattern. His harsh and rapid breaths gradually became slower and lighter, and as they did Josh was glad to see the tremors were stopping and slowing gradually.

With a gentle hand, he put Issei's hand onto his chest, letting him feel through his shirt his own breathing. Then he did the same as the younger boy.

"In...and out…" The brunette instructed, concern fading away bit by bit. "Good… you're doing good Issei. Just keep at it."

As he calmed down Issei, Josh looked back over to Raynare and Trent. Neither had moved in these short minutes, but the Fallen's wings twitched and her face twisted into a monstrous visage, hissing down at Trent.

Who merely kept his iron grip on his guns, levelling them right at Raynare's head. He then made a point of moving one down to aim it at her thigh, and growled, "Fly away little chicky, or we'll see your flamingo impression."

"You'll regret this!" She seethed, her wings snapping out as she took to the air, the blond's guns trailing her as she fled.

The instant she was out of sight, his arms dropped and he started panting. He took a few shuddering breaths as he muttered, "Jesus Christ, Jesus titfucking Christ, I just shot someone. Holy fuck."

"Yeah…" Josh muttered disbelievingly, still focusing on keeping Issei grounded. "Yeah you did. And it was awesome."

Awesome and harrowing, he'd admit. Even right now, he was struggling to keep it together. His veins and blood were still pumping like crazy now that Raynare had been scared off, and his vision swam as he tried standing up.

"Fuck." He breathed out, slowly and with as much exhaustion as he could muster. "We are so totally screwed."

A searing feeling was spreading through his chest and to his pocket. What it meant he had no clue, but maybe the Class Cards were reacting to each other? He was too stressed to think of experimenting, so Josh just settled for continuing his breathing exercises with Issei, who still looked ready to pass out.

Trent breath deeply, willing the Class Card to uninstall, to release the hold on him so he could walk around without looking like a loony cosplayer. There was a brief flash, leaving him in his actual clothes rather than Nobunaga's uniform, he let out a shuddering breath and collapsed into a squat.

"Well, we're on Raynare's shit list at least."

"No doubt about it," Josh replied. "Good job by the way: nice to see that bitch fly away. Woulda gone for the head though."

Issei was still looking like he'd hurl, so Josh just rubbed the kid's back in circles, hoping that would do something. It did for him years ago, but whether it would do the same for Issei remained to be seen.

He looked up at Trent after a minute. "Anyway, what do we do now? Issei's quite literally not dead like he's supposed to be, so how's Rias supposed to show up again?"

Issei jerked a bit, recognising his words maybe, but Josh kept a firm grip on the lad.

Trent shrugged, shaking his head as he sucked in a breath, "Well, I mean, I can't really say that I'd just be comfortable killing someone, even if they are a disgusting person like Raynare. As for Gremory… she usually shows up because she was summoned through the flyer the kid has and his wish to live when Raynare ganks him."

"Forgot about that bit," Josh noted. "Should we use it or something? I mean, it's worth a shot."

Even as he spoke he poked around Issei's pockets, eventually fishing out the flyer in question. It was strangely worded and had the design of a Devil on the front, but overall looked just like an ordinary piece of paper.

"Right, how do we use this?" Josh wondered. "Do we sacrifice someone? I'll get the knife!"

His subsequent laugh rang hollow in the empty day, and he awkwardly walked over to Trent with the flyer, keeping Issei to the ground and keeping an eye on him.

Taking the flyer, the blonde looked it over before laughing, "Pretty sure the sacrificing thing should be my stick given Nobu, but…"

And then he focused on the flyer, and the sigil imprinted upon it. He wanted to talk to the leader of the Devils who used this sigil, he needed to talk to that devil in particular. The sigili flashed with crimson light as a larger version appeared on the ground before them, a shape taking form within it.

She was beautiful, her hair a deep crimson, with a body that could only be called a knockout. It wouldn't be odd to call her temptation incarnate from the way she strained her school uniform, while her pouty lips quirked into a curious smile as she took the trio in. Her blue eyes drifted over the group as she asked, "Well, I've been summoned by you, might I ask what your wish is?"