A/N: So this little fic is an omake to chapter 25 of blaiseingfire's 'Jaune's Pet Tiger' story, where Ozpin uses nudes of Professor Port to block off the vault. I was originally going to make it a part of The Mad King of Beacon, but thought it would fit better by itself.

Modeling

Summary: Omake to chapter 25 of blaiseingfire's Jaune's Pet Tiger.

Professor Ozpin had done many questionable things in his time as headmaster.

He put up a shipping chart in the staffroom.

He made sure that over forty percent of the school's budget was for his coffee supply alone.

He even tried to make the girl's uniform the mandatory outfit for male and female staff and students to no success. Apparently that joke wasn't funny anymore once Port took part in it.

But this took the cake for 'most daring and guaranteed to land me in the stocks for public humiliation'. Or incredibly painful and drawn out execution.

'I really can't fucking believe it's come to this.' Ozpin let out a sigh as he headed to Professor Port's classroom.

He needed a new, cheaper way to guard the vault under the school that would also work better. And he could only think of one way to do so.

He really wasn't looking forward to it. But as headmaster, it was his duty to protect the relic and wounded Fall Maiden to the best of his abilities.

Ozpin stepped into Port's class, and the moustached professor was busy crooning over a small cow he had trapped in his floor. "Shhh…do not be afraid, Edgar. We simply have a guest."

'Okay, Port has taken on his little Mad King of Beacon role a little too seriously.' Ozpin was really going to need a cup of coffee after today. Maybe he'd take a leaf out of Qrow's book and pour whiskey into it. "Peter. I'm afraid I need your assistance with a…personal matter."

Port's moustache swirled, and he let out a loud belly laugh. "Oho! And how may I be of service to you, Professor? Need me to lay the exterminatus upon some heretics who dared to fill their heads with vile obscenity?"

"For the love of Oum, I'm never letting you go out drinking with Qrow again," Ozpin sighed. He could feel a headache starting to grow, and he massaged his temples. "No, Peter. This is a matter concerning the security of our vault. More specifically, finding new and more efficient protection."

Port's eyebrows wiggled, and he stood up with his hands behind his back. "You have my attention. Please, go on."

'Desperate times call for equally desperate measures.' Ozpin brought out his scroll. "Can you…do nude poses?"

Port coughed, and he let out an awkward chuckle as he tapped his ear. "I'm sorry, but it sounded like you just said you wanted me to strip down and pose nude."

"That's right."

"…"

"…"

"Give me pictures of Glynda in a cow bikini and you have a deal," Port finally said after a pregnant awkward silence.

"Done." Ozpin sent him the pictures of last year's staff romp.

Port looked at them, nodded in approval, and with speed far too ridiculous for his age removed every single article of clothing. "Haha! Bask in my moustached glory! Let your eyes feast upon my magnificent frame!"

Ozpin shielded his eyes with one hand as he rapidly clicked the button to take as many pictures as he could.

Was this something that would warrant his execution literally everywhere? Oh yes.

Would it actually work? Honestly, he didn't have a fucking clue.

Would he live out the rest of his days insane and rocking forth back in a corner? Probably.

Still, at least all he had to do was put them up and walk away.

-0-

When Ozpin received word that Cinder had screamed bloody murder and ran to live the rest of her life in a hole, he had to smirk and clink glasses with Port. "See? I told you it would work."

"Hahahaha! Serves that foolish young woman right," Port laughed. He downed his beer in a single gulp worthy of a man with such impressive facial hair.

"Now! We should get running ourselves," Ozpin said, noticing the orange glow of torches in the distance.

"So fucking worth it."

"Easy for you to say. You're not the one they want to execute."

A/N: Again, kudos to blaiseingfire for letting me write this. It was way funnier to write than it it should have been XD

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