Harry Potter and the Sacred Twenty-Eight

Chapter 5: Occluded Clarity

Harry left Dumbledore's office feeling drained and relieved. He hadn't been expelled. He could handle everything else. Not having his wand after curfew would be a pain, but it was only until Christmas. And, most importantly: Dumbledore hadn't kicked him off the Quidditch team.

Harry's feeling of relief lasted right up until he exited the stone gargoyle out into the corridor and saw Professor McGonagall waiting for him, her lips thinner and face more severe than he had ever seen before, including the time he and Ron had crashed Mr. Weasley's car into the Whomping Willow.

"Your wand, please, Potter," she said, her voice thick with emotion. Harry handed over the wand shamefacedly. Silently they began their walk up the stairs towards Gryffindor tower. They reached the Fat Lady without interruption, and Harry turned to Professor McGonagall to wish her goodnight.

"A moment, if you please." Harry noted with relief that her voice had lost much of its earlier anger and emotion.

"Yes, Professor?"

An odd look passed over McGonagall's face as she considered Harry. "I cannot express how disappointed I am with you and your choice of actions today, Potter," she began sternly. "Attacking another student in the way that you and Misters Weasley did tonight is completely unacceptable behavior, the likes of which I hope to never see in this castle again. You were very lucky indeed to avoid suspension tonight."

Harry dropped his head in shame. Dumbledore's office had been bad enough. Having McGonagall drive the point home so forcibly only served to rekindle his earlier shame at losing his temper.

"The Headmaster has given you your punishment, and I will be enforcing it to the letter. If you want your wand on the weekends, you had better have a reasonable, academic reason for asking for it, is that understood?" Harry nodded glumly. He really hadn't expected otherwise. Professor McGonagall bent the rules for nobody, after all.

"Further," McGonagall continued, "50 points will be taken from Gryffindor for your attempt at breaking Mr. Malfoy's wand. Please tell Misters Weasley to see me in my office at 8:00 tomorrow morning so I can discuss their actions with them."

Harry nodded, his mood darkening even further. There went, in all likelihood, Gryffindor's chance at the house cup once McGonagall got through with Ron, Fred and George. He turned away from Professor McGonagall and opened his mouth to speak the password before realizing he did not know it. He turned back around in time to see the faintest smile passing across McGonagall's face.

"One thing more, Potter," she said, her voice now soft.

"Yes, Professor?" Harry asked, slightly confused.

McGonagall's smile, that Harry had halfway assumed he had imagined, returned. "As disappointed as I am in your actions today, I must tell you: Your father would have done much the same thing had he been in your place. 20 points to Gryffindor for defending a fellow student."

Harry's eyes widened, not daring to believe the words coming from her mouth. He opened his mouth to say something, though he knew not what, but Professor McGonagall had already turned and begun her walk back to her quarters. She turned back around suddenly and spoke once more.

"The password is Balderdash, Potter. Good night."

Harry awoke the next morning, thankful that September 1st had fallen on a Saturday this year and as such he had no classes the next day. When he arrived in the common room, he was met by the Weasleys and Hermione. The rest of the common room was thankfully empty.

"Blimey, Harry, you look awful," Ron blurted out before wincing in pain as Hermione elbowed him with a muttered, "Ron!"

Harry shrugged noncommittedly before saying, "Yeah, didn't sleep well. Before I forget, McGonagall wants to see you, Fred and George in her office at 8:00 this morning, Ron."

The three boys winced slightly, and George checked his watch. "Figured something like that would be the case. Thanks for passing it on, Harry," he said before looking at Fred. "It's quarter till, better get a move on if we don't want to be late." With a nod at Harry, the twins walked out of the common room.

Ron glanced at Hermione and muttered, "I'd better get going, too. Want to come with Hermione? McGonagall's taking you to get another wand today, anyways, right?"

Hermione nodded slowly, giving Harry a concerned look. Before she could say anything, Harry waved her away, "I'll be fine, Hermione. Go get a new wand. We'll talk later." With that Hermione nodded, still looking a little concerned in Harry's direction before she and Ron exited the common room, too.

Which left…."Well?" Ginny asked, her hands on her hips. "Did you talk to Dumbledore?"

Harry furrowed his brow, "Er….yeah, that's why I don't have my wand and stuff. He wasn't happy about what happened yesterday."

Ginny rolled her eyes to the heavens. "Harry, you prat, not about Malfoy and Greengrass. About…" her voice lowered to a whisper and a tinge of the blush she usually worse around Harry returned, "the Life Debt."

Harry's eyes widened slightly before he instinctively glanced around the common room, confirming that it was empty. "Oh yeah, that. He wants to have lunch with us today to talk about it more. He said he didn't want to take any guesses without talking to you."

Harry watched as Ginny processed that information, her bright brown eyes losing focus momentarily before refocusing on him. "He didn't say anything else? Not even a hint about what to do?" Harry could hear a slight note of desperation in her voice.

He shook his head. "Sorry, Gin, he said there were too many possibilities for him to take a guess without knowing more. Hopefully he'll be able to tell us more when we talk with him." Harry paused a moment, a piece of their conversation yesterday surfacing. "It happened again yesterday, didn't it? When I was….er…..arguing with Greengrass and Malfoy?"

Ginny paled some and nodded. "You were so angry, Harry. I thought it would just…..I don't know, consume me, or something. I almost cursed Luna when she asked what was wrong it was so strong."

Harry felt his neck warm in embarrassment. The longer removed he was from the incidents, the more ashamed he was of how badly he had lost his temper. Now Ginny had been affected, too, on top of everybody else his temper had dragged into trouble. "Yeah…..sorry about that," he offered, the words sounding lame even in his own ears. "Hopefully Professor Dumbledore will be able to figure this out for us."

Ginny shrugged, her eyes distant again. "Well, a girl can hope, can't she? I'll see you at lunch, Harry." Without waiting for a response, Ginny walked past him and out the portrait hole into the corridor beyond.

Harry stood silently in the common room for a moment more, considering the conversation he'd just had. He was really bungling this whole Ginny situation, when he really thought about it. He'd have to do better in controlling his emotions, for Ginny's sake. He owed the Weasley family that much. At least she wasn't blushing all the time around him now…

Harry's internal monologue was interrupted by his stomach gurgling. Realizing he had missed the opening feast yet again and therefore hadn't eaten since the train, he set off in search of some food.

Between dawdling over an extra large breakfast, and catching up with the Weasley boys after their meeting with Professor McGonagall ("Thought I'd lost my mind when she gave us some points back for sticking up for Hermione," George had said), lunch time arrived sooner than Harry had expected. He found himself back at the ancient stone gargoyle with Ginny, who looked decidedly more nervous than he felt. Then it dawned on him that most students didn't make semi-regular trips the headmaster's office as he had done over the years. He tried to smile encouragingly at Ginny and then turned to the gargoyle and said, "Cockroach Clusters."

He couldn't help but chuckle at Ginny's muttered, "Cockroach Clusters? No bleeding way." as the gargoyle jumped aside, revealing the ascending staircase to Dumbledore's office. As the two stepped onto the staircase and began rising towards the office, Harry could see Ginny tense up further and further. Feeling bad for her, he leaned over and whispered, "Dumbledore's got a sweet tooth, that's why his passwords are always candy."

"Correct you are, Mr. Potter," came Dumbledore's amused voice from the office, "Would you or Miss Weasley care for a lemon drop?" The door to the office had been left ajar. Oops. Feeling embarrassment well within him at being caught at talking about the headmaster behind his back, he hurried in behind Ginny.

"Sorry, sir," he muttered before taking a seat in one of the squashy armchairs that appeared to have been leftover from the previous night.

Dumbledore merely smiled at him. "Quite alright, my boy. It is refreshing to have something you're terribly fond of be the first thing mentioned about you instead of the endless accolades my peers insist on lauding me with." "Please, take a seat, my dear," he added to Ginny, who was still standing respectfully at the entrance to the office.

As Ginny took her seat, Dumbledore steepled his fingers and considered Harry and Ginny briefly before speaking again. "Miss Weasley, Harry here informed me last night that you believe the two of you have been bound by a Life Debt bond." He paused, and Ginny nodded at him. "Could you please explain to me what has led you to that conclusion? As much details as possible, if you please. Anything about this could help me help you."

Harry saw Ginny take a steadying breath and begin talking. He listened closely at first, and then quickly realized it was the exact same story she had told him yesterday. He quickly felt his attention wane and begin wandering around the room, settling eventually on Fawkes. Fawkes was at his most resplendent, his red-gold plumage shining in the light of the office. He fixed Harry with an impenetrable gaze before hopping off his perch and settling on Harry's leg, crooning softly. Harry began to stroke Fawkes' feathers idly, his mind lost in memories of the last time he and Fawkes had been this close. He gave a small start at hearing Dumbledore call his name. He tore his attention away from the phoenix and back towards Dumbledore and Ginny. "Sorry, sir, what did you say?" he asked.

Dumbledore favored him with a lenient smile. "I asked, Harry, if you had anything to add to Miss Weasley's tale?" he repeated gently.

Harry started. "Uh…no, sir, I don't think I do. She only just told me about this yesterday, so I haven't really been able to think about it much, to be perfectly honest." Dumbledore nodded, and Harry saw a flash of emotion that might have been annoyance cross Ginny's face before being replaced by a look of awe as she noticed Fawkes for the first time since entering.

"Hullo, Fawkes," she muttered, her voice thickening with emotion. "I never did say thank you for getting us out of that chamber. We never would have made it out without you." She reached over to stroke Fawkes, who looked very pleased with himself at this point.

A gentle chuckle interrupted her reverie after a minute or two. "You're very kind, Miss Weasley," Dumbledore said jovially. "Fawkes is indeed a magnificent creature, but let's refocus on you and Harry, if you will." Fawkes shot Dumbledore a look that might have been described as irritated had it been on a human, but nonetheless returned to his perch.

Still chuckling, Dumbledore fixed Harry and Ginny with a kind gaze. "Now that I have heard from Miss Weasley, I think I can safely speculate on what has happened, but I would like to run a small test on the both of you to confirm my suspicions. This test requires very little of you, other then your permission. He raised his hand to forestall Harry and Ginny's acquiescence. "Before you agree, let me fully explain what the test entails," he said. "I would like to see this emotional connection that exists between the two of you for myself. To do that, I will have to enter both of your minds using an obscure branch of magic known a Legilimency, which will allow me to interpret your surface thoughts and emotions."

Harry paled at this. Wizards could read minds? He opened his mouth nervously, "Er, sir, not that I don't trust you, but isn't a person's thoughts and feelings, er, private?" He looked at Ginny, who seemed similarly unnerved.

Dumbledore's expression turned very serious. "Quite so, Harry," he said gravely. "Legilimency is very strictly controlled by the Ministry for that very reason. Those few of us who can practice it would suffer grave consequences indeed if we were ever found to have misused our skill. What I am asking of you and Miss Weasley is not to be taken lightly. But, I do promise that anything I see will remain strictly confidential, shared with nobody. You have my word on that, Harry, Miss Weasley. Please, take a moment to seriously think over this matter." Dumbledore folded his hands together and nodded at the two of them.

Harry sat quietly, not at all sure he wanted anybody, even somebody he trusted as thoroughly as he did Dumbledore, digging around inside his head. He looked at Ginny, who, judging by the look on her face, was working through similar emotions. Her face was working a mile a minute but seemed to clear up into a look of fierce determination much quicker than Harry's own emotions were moving. She looked at him, her brown eyes searching his emerald green for his answer. Harry still wasn't sure what he was comfortable with, but in the moment their eyes locked, he knew he would go along with whatever Ginny wanted. It was affecting her, and not him. He had no right to choose for her. He inhaled slowly and said, "It's your choice, Ginny. Whatever you're comfortable with is what we'll do."

Ginny's face morphed into a look of shock, followed quickly by embarrassment. Harry quickly felt similar embarrassment and looked away, towards Dumbledore, who was looking at him with a great deal of pride in his eyes, which only served to embarrass him further. Harry looked very intently at his knees until the feeling of embarrassment passed. He looked back up, and Ginny was giving him a look that Harry took to mean, "are you sure?". Harry nodded at her, and Ginny smiled at him. It was really quite a nice smile, Harry thought idly, as Ginny turned to Dumbledore and told him they would take the test.

Dumbledore clapped his hands once, and his desk flew to the far side of his office, leaving an empty space between him and Harry and Ginny. "Thank you for your trust in me, both of you," he said quietly. "I do not take it lightly and will do my utmost to stay in your minds as little as possible." He smiled slightly, "Though, Harry, you will likely not care one way or the other until much after this is over."

Harry furrowed his brow in confusion. "What do you mean, sir? Won't I notice you digging around my mind?"

Dumbledore's smile widened slightly. "Under normal circumstances, yes, Harry. Miss Weasley, in fact, will notice me quite intently when I perform Legilimency on her." He nodded gravely at Ginny. "You, however, Harry, will be under the influence of, if you'll forgive my lack of modesty, a rather powerful Cheering Charm so that I can examine the effect of strong emotions from you on Miss Weasley. As such, I'll doubt you'll care, if you notice at all, when I enter your mind to confirm that the Cheering Charm has taken effect."

Somehow, this made Harry feel a little better. If he was too happy to care about his mind being read, that made it okay, right?

Harry took a deep breath and looked squarely at Dumbledore. "Ok, sir. Let's get started."

Dumbledore looked at Ginny, who nodded her assent. "Very well. Harry, if you would be so kind as to stand over to the side of the office, please. The side effects of an overpowered Cheering Charm can be, ah, distracting, to others."

Harry smiled, memories of his end-of-year exams from last year coming back to him. "I know, sir. I overdid mine on Ron last year. He laughed for an hour straight."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled with mirth and his mouth twitched into a smile under his beard. "That's the spirit, my boy! Now, if you have no further questions or reservations?" Harry shook his head. "Then, let's begin!" Dumbledore pointed his wand at Harry and said, "Senti laetus."

A feeling of overwhelming happiness crashed over Harry almost immediately after the second word left Dumbledore's mouth. He began circling around the room, full of energy. When he crashed face first into an invisible barrier and fell onto his rear end, he began laughing uproariously, as though nothing could have been funnier. Through his haze of happiness and laughter, he heard Dumbledore speak, his mirth barely contained.

"I've placed a barrier keeping you on the far side of the office, Harry, so that your mood doesn't distract Miss Weasley and I too much. Try not to run into it too much. Madam Pomfrey would not like to see you so soon into the term."

Harry smiled broadly at Dumbledore and noticed that Ginny was fighting back a fit of giggles, her face getting pinker and pinker with laughter as she watched Harry. He flashed Dumbledore and Ginny a huge grin and two thumbs up, got up and started giggling as he resumed his wandering around his side of the office.

How long he wandered around the office laughing and giggling to himself, Harry couldn't have said. But what he could definitely say was that having a Cheering Charm end sucked. As joyous and wonderful as having it applied had been, having it removed was the exact opposite. The feeling of overwhelming happiness fading away was almost painful. Harry felt his face lose its smile and his laughter come to an abrupt stop.

"Ah, Harry. You've come back to us." Dumbledore's voice was soothing and warm. Ginny, Harry noticed, was, if possible, even pinker with laughter than she had been at the beginning of the charm, clutching at her side as her body quivered from her trying to contain her own laughter.

"Did you cast a cheering charm on Ginny, too, sir?" Harry asked, looking at Ginny. This caused Ginny to lose her battle with herself and burst out laughing. Harry looked at Dumbledore, confused. Dumbledore wore a small smile himself.

"I'm afraid not, Harry. Or, at least, not precisely. You see, Miss Weasley and I finished our part of the test some time ago, shortly after I used Legilimency on you, in fact. We have been waiting for the effects of the Cheering Charm to wear off. You have been most entertaining for the last quarter of an hour."

Harry rubbed the back of his neck, feeling very self-conscious very quickly. Dumbledore, perhaps sensing this, spoke again. "I did say not precisely, Harry. Although I didn't cast a Cheering Charm on Miss Weasley, she did experience some of the charm through her connection to you." Ginny's fit of laughter cut off very suddenly, and Harry's feeling of self-consciousness disappeared, replaced by anxious curiosity.

"You know what's happening to Ginny, sir?" Harry asked, curiosity blooming. Ginny's attention was rapt on Dumbledore as well.

"Indeed I do, Harry," Dumbledore nodded. He drew his wand and returned his desk back to its original position and gestured for Harry to return to his seat next to Ginny. "I believe Miss Weasley was correct. A Life Debt bond has formed between the two of you."

Harry gripped the arms of his chair so tightly his knuckles turned white. His attention was fully focused on Dumbledore, so he couldn't see Ginny's reaction, but he did hear the sharp inhale of breath from her. Dumbledore regarded them both solemnly.

"This is indeed a serious matter. That said, I would like to clarify a couple of things for you both before we discuss how to deal with the bond, if you are both amenable," Dumbledore looked at Harry and Ginny in turn and received nods of approval. "Although serious, it is perhaps not serious in the same way you are imagining." He said this directly to Ginny, Harry noticed. "A Life Debt bond does not mean you are engaged, married, betrothed, or are going to start reading each other's minds or seeing from each other's point of view. Those are all fictitious side effects made up by authors intent on romanticizing the bond, peddled in stories published by the likes of Teen Witch Weekly for entertainment."

Harry noticed Ginny practically wilt with relief. Was that what she had been afraid of? Being forced into marrying him? He could see why. Being forced into something like that at thirteen was awful to think about. He spoke up, "Er, sir, if it does none of those things, what does it do?"

Dumbledore smiled slightly, "Ah, therein lies the crux of the matter, Harry. What does a Life Debt bond do, indeed?" He again looked at Ginny before speaking again. "Far less than I suspect you've been imagining, Miss Weasley. In fact, you have already experienced most of what the bond imbues upon the indebted. It provides an emotional link between the saver and the saved, giving the saved insight into his or her savior's emotions when they are running particularly strongly. An emotion strong enough will even create something of an echo within the indebted person's emotions, causing them to feel that emotion as well, though not nearly as strongly," Dumbledore paused for a moment, "It is theorized that this is to allow the indebted person to be able to know when their savior is in a moment of need, so that they might be able to repay their debt and end the bond."

Harry's eyes widened slightly, "So you're saying, sir, that the only way to end the bond is for Ginny to save my life?"

Dumbledore nodded gravely, "I'm afraid that is the case, Harry. I am sorry."

Harry sat there fuming at the unjustness of it all. Ginny would be forced to put herself at risk to be rid of a debt he had never wanted. How could he ever look Mrs. Weasley in the eyes again? As his emotions began to swirl, he felt a small hand reach out and grab his arm. He looked up and saw Ginny looking at him with concern, both for himself and for her, but also a small amount of trepidation. Harry realized suddenly that his emotions must have started spiking through the bond again. He muttered, "Sorry," to Ginny and took a couple of calming breaths. Ginny's eyes lingered on him for a moment before she turned to the headmaster and spoke for the first time since the Cheering Charm lifted.

"Is there anything we can do about the emotional connection, sir, short of me saving Harry's life? Harry is a wonderful person," she blushed slightly at these words, "but having his emotions running through me can be incredibly distracting."

Dumbledore nodded sagely at her. "I can only imagine, Miss Weasley. Fortunately, I do think there is something of a temporary solution to this problem. If you and Harry are agreeable, I would like to start training the two of you in a branch of magic called Occlumency. It is the counter to Legilimency and is used to protect your mind from external attack. I believe that should the two of you master it, you will be able to limit, if not eliminate the sharing of emotions from Harry to you, Miss Weasley."

Harry and Ginny looked at each other, and then at Dumbledore and spoke nearly simultaneously, "Yes, please." Dumbledore gave a small smile at their response and nodded.

"Very well. We will begin our lessons twice a week. I will owl you both with our study times on Monday," he said, "In the meantime, please practice clearing your mind before you sleep. Empty your mind of any thoughts as you begin to drift off. This will help us when we begin our course of study."

Harry and Ginny nodded enthusiastically, though something was niggling at the back of his head. Apparently, something must have shown on his face because Dumbledore turned to him and asked, "Is something bothering you, Harry?"

Harry hadn't known exactly what his concern was until Dumbledore had asked. But now that he had, he was able to put words to his concern: "Sir, if witches and wizards can perform Legilimency, why is Occlumency not taught more widely? Shouldn't everybody be given the chance to protect their thoughts?"

Dumbledore smiled at Harry, pride shining through again. "Your concern for your fellow wizard does you credit, Harry. Never change." He paused, collecting his thoughts. "To answer your question, though, is something I had hoped to put off until our lessons started, but since you have asked, I will answer now. First, Legilimency, as I believe I mentioned earlier, is very strictly controlled by the Ministry. Unauthorized use can hold penalties of multiple years in Azkaban. Further, the number of witches and wizards capable of Legilimency in Britain I believe I could count on, well, maybe not both hands, but perhaps if I used my toes as well. In short, there are very few Legilimency users that you will ever have to worry about. Most of them are employed by the Ministry's Department of Magical Law Enforcement and used for specialized interrogations. For that reason alone, Occlumency is not commonly taught. There is simply not a demand for it." Harry nodded, accepting the explanation, not expecting Dumbledore to continue.

Dumbledore's face grew very serious as he kept talking. "The second reason is far more serious, and one that I urge to you pay attention to." Harry instinctively sat straighter in his chair at hearing Dumbledore's tone, and saw Ginny doing the same in his periphery. "Occlumency," Dumbledore continued, "is exactly what its name says. You will be learning to occlude your mind. To stop, or obstruct your emotions, so as to prevent others from accessing them. And while it is a powerful defense against Legilimency, it can be a terrible doubled edged sword. Long term, unending use of Occlumency can severely damage your capacity for emotion and empathy, leaving you severely limited in your ability to connect to others. Yes, your mind would be protected, but at what cost? Nothing more than the greater part of your humanity, Harry." Dumbledore's eyes burrowed into Harry's own, with their piercing blueness making Harry feel as though he were being x-rayed as they so often did.

Harry gulped nervously as he pondered Dumbledore's explanation. "Who would do that to themselves, sir? Deliberately shut themselves off from others so thoroughly that it damages themselves?"

Dumbledore opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again, and when he spoke, Harry got the impression that Dumbledore was choosing his words very carefully. "You are fortunate in some ways, Harry, to have been too young to be fully emotionally impacted by your greatest loss. But imagine for a moment that Voldemort didn't attack your family until this past summer. Imagine your grief, the pain that you would experience from the loss of your parents were it to happen now. Could you not imagine wanting that pain to simply go away instead of dealing with it in a healthy way? To feel the calming balm of nothingness instead of the pain of loss?"

Harry sat in his chair, stricken by Dumbledore's words. He could all too easily imagine that. And judging from Ginny's hitched breathing next to him, he knew she was thinking similarly to him. The nightmares in the aftermath of the Chamber of Secrets had worn him out all summer. Nearly dying was traumatic enough for anybody to want to forget it. He turned and looked at Ginny and made a silent vow. Ridiculous crush or not, he was going to look after her more closely this year than in years past. He had nearly died in the Chamber, but Ginny had come much closer to death, on a much more personal level than he had. If they were going to learn something as tempting and dangerous as Occlumency, he would make sure they were safe while they did it. He reached out to her for the first time and gave her arm a squeeze. She turned to him, the hint of tears forming in the corner of her eyes. He gave her the most reassuring smile he could muster. He was pleased to see that some of the light returned to her eyes, and she gave him a small smile in return before turning away again.

Dumbledore had sat silently through Harry and Ginny's small interaction. Once it was clear that the two teens had gathered themselves, he gave them a gentle, reassuring smile. "I tell you this, not to scare you away from Occlumency, but to arm you with the knowledge that you will need to wield it safely," he spoke softly. "I have every faith you both will not abuse this skill." Dumbledore fixed them with one last stare before nodding, apparently satisfied with what he saw. His smile grew larger, and the tense atmosphere that had dominated the room in the last several minutes vanished. When Dumbledore spoke again, it was with his usual good humor.

"Now, I believe I invited you here for lunch. It would be terribly rude of me not to offer you refreshment, especially after such a draining discussion. Harry, perhaps you could regale Miss Weasley and I with the stories of your experiences with the Cheering Charm while I arrange our meal with the elves? I believe you mentioned you quite overpowered young Ronald with one last year. That sounds like a delightful lunchtime tale."

Harry groaned, his neck once again warming with embarrassment.