An Ape's Guide To Humans

So you want to know about humans. Humans are quite complex yet simple creatures. Left unchecked humans can overpopulate and take over our society. As an Ape, you must realize that you are above any human. Humans are subservient to us. Meaning they must submit or be trained to submit to us. As an Ape, it is your responsibility to make sure humans know and realize this. In order for them to be taught this properly, you must remember these very important things:

Apes are the superior creature

YOU are the superior creature. Remember this always. Humans are simple creatures yes, but they can learn complex things if taught early enough or if they observe. This is where YOU come in. As an Ape, you teach them what is acceptable and what is not. No self respecting Ape would let a human boss him around or give the Ape orders. As Apes, we have humans as servants, pets, labor animals, for research, military purposes, etc. Humans must comply with any request given them by an Ape. Remember: Humans are lower level on the evolutionary ladder which brings us to #2.

Humans are lower level on evolution.

The order of evolution goes like this: Humans, Monkeys, Apes. In that order. Most humans realize this and accept it as fact. However, some of the more headstrong humans need to be taught this fact, with force if necessary. In The Book Of Semos, it is taught this with clarity. If need be you have a human listen as you read from this book. Most humans cannot read well enough to understand and grasp what is written. Even if they could read well, the human as stated before is a simple creature. This is not saying they are stupid by any means. There are those rare humans that have exceeded Ape intelligence. Those humans have been euthanized or given a frontal lobotomy to stunt anymore learning save for menial tasks we assign to them.

Wild Humans

Wild humans are exactly that. Wild beastial animals. They have limited intelligence and usually focus on 3 things: Reproduction, Food, avoiding capture. When gathering food a human can hunt or raid our crops. This can be devastating as wild humans can carry terrible diseases that can be transmitted to us if caution is not used. This is why wild humans that are caught, if they cannot be trained, they will be killed. Sterilization is not a viable answer because it cost the government millions of Simion coins that nearly bankrupted our fine city. So if you encounter any wild human you should drive him/her away promptly or exterminate them. Humans are merely animals and wild humans are considered pests being as they populate at an alarming rate. Wild humans and domestic ones are fertile past their puberty.

Capturing wild humans is best left to handlers who know exactly what to do when a situation may arise. Wild humans are very protective of their offspring and WILL FIGHT ANY APE if they believe their young are in danger. Wild humans cannot be blamed for this act of foolishness for it is not their fault. However, this act cannot be permitted, even when protecting their young. Any human that attacks an ape must be put to death immediately unless the human is domestic and has done so in legitimate defense of his/her owner or owner's family.

DOMESTICS

Domestic humans are easier to control and train than wild humans. Wild humans can be domesticated to a certain extent, but will almost always retain their wild nature. Unless captured from their parents at a young age, it is almost always pointless to waste time in trying to domesticate a wild human. Domestic humans on the other hand are much easier to train. The older human is usually trained and knows his lot in life and therefore poses no difficulties. Young domestic humans often need to be trained, but again this poses little problems being as they were often born in captivity and learn their lot in life quickly. Sometimes a rebellious stubborn domestic may have a moment two lapse in judgement and common sense, but usually a well placed cuff to the head reminds them of who is in charge. Domestics should be fed daily and a large bowl of pellets is sufficient along with water. Humans, like us Apes should be fed 3 times a day. You can feed domestics once per day, but the bowl should be much larger and when giving the human a meal break they should be taught that this one meal should last them the entire day and a fresh bowl will not be given until the next day. Water should be available throughout the day as it does us no good to have ill dehydrated work animals.

ADDITIONAL NOTE

Human children should remain with their parents up until the age of 4 or 5. During this time training must begin if you want a well behaved domestic human. If acquiring a human from a breeder ask to see his selection and the parents if possible. The parents should be in top physical condition and their offspring should as well. Avoid any sickly ones. Once selected, the breeder will often separate the parents from their offspring to prevent any troubles. Like wild humans, domestics can be protective of their offspring. A good domestic will prepare their offspring for the possibility of being purchased, however this does nothing to quell the despair of the seperation of parent and child. Some apes are against the separation of families preferring humans and apes keep to themselves, and while this may seem like a good idea at first, humans are, after all animals, and must be kept in check from time to time.

FINAL NOTE

As a final note, we Apes must realize that humans, if controlled, can be a viable asset to our civilization. Therefore we must do our part in maintaining that balance of teaching them of who is in charge. Always remember an untrained/unchecked pack of humans can be as deadly as an army of highly trained professional Ape Military. Therefore, we must do our part in making sure the human population is kept at a reasonable amount.