I woke up in the evening like I do everyday. I walk into the living room and mom was making eggs. She added whisky but that's besides the point. She was making food. My mother never makes food. So I thought it was crazy. She
was in a strange mood, very hyper. and she ran to the hall and BANG! slammed her forehead right into the wall. She was bleeding, and yelling "OMY GODD EEE EEE OMY GOIDIDDD". I ran to the kitchen and grabbed the phone cause i was tired as heckadoodles.
I called Bella Thorne cause who else. It took eight hours before she showed up, and by then my mother was already passed out. And that is how I made my mom, Tana Mongeau, Pass out.

CHAPTER2

My name is quijby the way, and my father is God because I don't have one, or that's what my mother says anyway. You could say I'm model states because i'm very hot, hotter than all other eight year old boys. I consider Bella Thorne
to be my dad, she'sgod anyway. When we actually eat dinner at sunset like normal people do, we pray to keep our sanity a little longer. But we only pray on fried chicken days (which are days when Tana has had a hangover longer than 7 hours.
I never been to a bar, not saying I never drank but that I never been to a bar. apperantly you must be 21 or older, which is stupid. So at midnight that night, my mom decided to take me to a bar. We lived on las Vegas btw, I was born in LA though,
We moved because Las Vegas seemed safer. At this bar, the smell of drunk men and cigars went up my nose like a worm. "MMMMMMMM" I yelled, before Bella grabbing me with her SHARP AF nails. I am not gay also i should point out. I have a girl friend
who I met online and we go to the park sometimes so yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Tana lifted me up into the seat and ordered me Coke and rum. It tasted like coke for the most part except when I threw up at 4 in the morning so yes it was good. That night we
had a fried chicken night. Tana said "they grow up so fast", then chugged vodka.

the end