Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III was the first son of Stoick the Vast and his wife, Valka. He was a weak, frail boy who came into the world earlier than he should have. Shortly after his birth, his mother was taken away by a dragon, giving him a small scar on his chin. It took months for Stoick to find his wife, and the reunion was tearful. She refused to answer why she was so far north, but Hooligan Village was so happy to have the chief's wife back that they didn't push the question. Valka became pregnant only a month after her return.

Rubeus Hagrid Haddock was the second son of Stoick the Vast and his wife, Valka. He was a large, powerful boy who came into the world perhaps a little later than he should have. Shortly after his birth, he accidentally broke the large armchair in the living room, causing his mother to be mortified and his father to be immensely proud. Strange things tended to happen around him, and he'd somehow managed to grow a beard worthy of his father by the time he was only thirteen. His older brother, only a year older than him, tried not to be immensely jealous. He failed.

Hiccup and Hagrid (the boy had been unable to pronounce his own first name for the better part of his toddler years, and thus most people didn't even know it) were quite different as far as siblings went. They both possessed the same dark brown hair, but this was where their physical similarities ended. Hiccup was scrawny and short, barely reaching five feet tall and having to strain himself to lift the average axe. Hagrid was muscular and tall, already approaching his father in height and capable of lifting more than anyone else around his age. Hiccup was awkward around others, constantly berating himself for messing up. Hagrid was jovial and friendly, offering to help (though he occasionally did more harm than intended).

Hagrid was the favorite child, in the eyes of the village. He was large and physically capable. He could do strenuous physical labor without breaking a sweat. Like many vikings, he was brawny rather than brainy. Sometimes he forgot his own strength, though nobody in the village could blame him for this. It was easy to see how he fit right in. Hiccup was the least favorite child, in the eyes of the village. He was much the opposite of Hagrid, and wished to dedicate himself to joining the fight against dragons.

Valka Haddock was known for her sympathy towards the dragons. The villagers tended not to think of this, as they did not wish to insult the chief's wife. She attempted to teach this sympathy to both of her children, though Hiccup refused to listen thanks to his own insecurities. Hagrid was a different story, however. Him and his mother grew extremely close, and he was enamored with stories she told of a dragon sanctuary made of ice. The two of them would disappear on journeys occasionally, and when asked where they went, Hagrid could only giggle. It was an odd sound to hear from such a large boy, and served to remind them that he was just a boy.

Hagrid and his mother kept trying to voice that dragons weren't all that bad. It was a slow fight, but the two of them gradually managed to get people on their side. There was a sort of political divide in Hooligan Village, and the Haddock family was split in two. When Hiccup was fifteen, he shot down a night fury and befriended it. The two of them ended the war of dragons. There was no longer a political divide in Hooligan Village, and the Haddock family was whole once more.

As the vikings made peace and bonded with the dragons, Hagrid found an egg. He hatched it himself by placing it in the fireplace at home, and when it hatched, he named it Norbert. Hagrid didn't realize Norbert was a female until she began laying eggs. He renamed her Norberta. As the years passed, the villagers vaguely began to question the odd sorts of things that happened around Hagrid. They likely would have questioned the strange events sooner, had there not been a war against dragons.

It was fascinating to learn that Hagrid was capable of magic. The villagers were shocked; wasn't magic a feminine thing? But Hagrid was so large and muscular! He thoroughly destroyed their concept of magic and turned it on its head. They couldn't help but accept this new magic, as it kept their island safe and repelled all threat. Any conflict on the island was resolved before it could escalate too far, and the vikings enjoyed a time of peace.

While it was true Hagrid loved dragons, he found himself enamored with all sorts of beasts. Hiccup became the dragon expert as Hagrid and Norberta went out in search of other creatures, which he befriended and named. There was a giant spider he found, which he named Aragog. He later found a mate for him, which he named Mosag. The two had terrifying children. A hybrid between an eagle and horse was named Buckbeak. There were several dogs, one of which was named Fang. The other, more threatening one, was named Fluffy.

Berk became known as the Isle of Beasts. Humans lived in harmony with dragons and all sorts of dangerous creatures, and the other tribes were fearful of going near it. When Drago attempted to attack, not only did he fail to take down the Bewilderbeast that made the dragon sanctuary all of Berk knew about, but he failed to do lasting damage to the island when the host of beasts other than dragons fought back against him. The Isle of Beasts was invincible.

When Stoick's old age got the better of him, Hiccup took the role of chief. When Hiccup's old age got the better of him, his own firstborn took the role of chief. The family line continued its benevolent rule for generations upon generations, though Hagrid never seemed to age or pass on. One day, he left in search of more beasts, and nobody could agree on whether or not he'd passed away on his journey. Some say he found a lovely woman who could match his strength while visiting France, and the two had a long life together before passing peacefully. Others claim he had continued on his adventure, accidentally putting together an army of deadly beasts he would give affectionately cute names.

If anyone asked Hagrid, well, he would just tell them he became a teacher.

Word Count: 1,108

Yeah, I don't know. It's just a random thought I had that I thought was really funny. None of this would make any sense in any canon, and it didn't turn out as funny as I intended it to. I also didn't proofread at all, I just needed to get it out of my head. It's honestly not very good lol oops