Selfishly, They Both Stumble Over The Edge

"...she taste like the damn tea..."

That was the first thought to fire through my brain. It wasn't how soft her skin or lips were. Nor was it how unexpectedly warm another person's mouth is. It was the lingering taste of fresh tea that pulled my mind back to something real in this unrealistic situation. Yukinoshita Yukino and I were currently alone and kissing in the Service Club room. The events that lead us here were as followed.

Yuigahama had a death in the family. She would miss three days of school while she was in Yokohama for the services. I didn't think much of this, or rather, I tried not to anyway. When we were given the news I did understand the implication of the club only having two occupants while she was away. It unexpectedly made me...nervous. Yukinoshita suggested we put club activities on hold for the time being to which I agreed with. Yuigahama, as she often does, didn't want to inconvenience us so she made us promise to keep the club open. We begrudgingly agreed.

The first day was fine. It was similar to when the club first started, though both of us knew much had changed since then. We bantered, she made tea, we read our books. We were fine. Isshiki came by to "take a break from" her soccer club duties. Which meant she wanted our food. She tried to have small talk with Yukinoshita but without Yuigahama there it unsurprisingly didn't go very far. She did her cute Kouhai routine for me and left after awhile. No one came to ask the club for help that day. Everything was normal.

The second day started normal as well. I entered the club and she was there. Already making tea in fact. She threw a few verbal jabs at me and I sent a few half hearted ones back. The problem with something like this happening was that the longer it happened, the longer I had to think about it. I'd be lying to myself if I didn't admit that the very adolescent part of my mind had thought of this scenario before. A girl and boy alone in a club room together. So cliché. The Rom-Com Gods up to their old beaten to death tricks. Nothing was going to happen. I knew this wholeheartedly. Embarrassed at my own thoughts I shift uncomfortably in my seat.

"What is it?"

"Huh?"

"The book not to your liking? Or is it the tea?" Yukinoshita asked and slowly turned her eyes from the page in front of her to me. I tried to play it cool.

"Something like that. The book I mean. The tea is fine"

"I see." was her response. Her eyes lingered on me like she was looking for something before turing back to her book.

I started reading again in hopes of burying myself in the story. The situation and Yukinoshita herself were still at the forefront of my mind. What is our relationship? Not friends, she turned me down twice. Clubmates? To simple an answer. We were something more now. Something I couldn't define. As they often do my fantasies try giving me an answer and I shut that down as well. Since Destinyland though...no, stop it. You'll make things harder. Despite my natural eagerness to be lazy I felt like standing up and walking. I don't but it causes me to move with uneasiness again.

"...a refill?" she asked me. "We do have more to drink then usual. It seems Isshiki-san isn't coming by today. Its best not to be wasteful."

I look and my cup and see that its nearly empty. "Sure"

She first puts a bookmark into place before closing her book and placing it on the table in front of her. Gracefully, like always, she stands and walks to my side of the table before picking my cup up. What thoughts are in her head? There are times I know most of them, and others where I don't have a clue. The desire to know her. To understand her is still present. As I watch her pour the tea I no longer see a perfect girl that is far away from me like when we first met. I see a girl. A girl with few answers but the desire for them. A girl that likes cats and Pan-san. A girl that...

The cup is placed in front of me. Her hair nearly brushes my face. She's to my right, as if she plans to place the cup down and walk behind me. She's never done this. She's so close I can tell the material of her uniform is finer then most. So close I can smell her perfume. Milliseconds feel like ages. Oh how cliché. The need to be ride of stagnation surges in me. I could do nothing and nothing would change, but suddenly and desperately, I need that change. With as much grace and swiftness I can muster I stand. She tilts her head to look up at me with surprise and that's when I impulsively put my lips over hers.

This is where I find myself now. My heart feeling like it'll crack my ribs, breathing being a forgotten pass time, and the Ice Queen's lips on mine. Having no idea what I'm doing, I press forward a bit. I fully expect her to pull away, or scream, or slap me any second but she...presses back against me. I'm so shocked that I end up pulling away. My eyes looking anywhere but her face, my own feeling like it'll melt off soon. It last a few seconds. Maybe four at the most. Awkwardly I step back. The one thought pulsing through me was that she didn't pull away. Yukinoshita Yukino for some reason accepted my kiss.

"...s-sorry..." is all I can muster.

Silence greeted me. Somehow I gathered the courage to look her in the face. Her pale skin was flush and her blue eyes looked watery like she could cry any second.

"I...didn't..." I try speaking again. I was about to say 'I didn't mean to' but I still had the common sense to know how stupid that would sound. "I'm sorry..." I say again instead. After a few moments she finally speaks. Her voice soft and unsure.

"You say that...like it wasn't your intention...was it?"

I feel like running away. My heart continues to pound my ribs and breathing is just barely doable. "I didn't...have a plan or anything if that's what you mean..."
I try to look at her face. Her eyes stare back at me searching for something. "I...I'll go if you want..."

Her eyes widen slightly and after a few seconds she shakes her head no. What we were, whatever we were, is over. We're now something else entirely. Things can't go back to how they use to be, or how we pretended things were. I can't stand the silence anymore, I'm drowning in it.

"Its...probably better this way...no one around...no one to talk about it. We're the only ones that know and it can stay that way..."

Gaining more confidence in her voice she responds "You're concerned about that...now?"

"Look...like I said, I didn't plan this. I don't want to cause you trouble..."

"Then what do you want Hikigaya-kun?" she sternly asked, though her fragile looking demeanor betrayed the conviction in her voice. I struggle for an answer. I'm finally able to drag the truth out of myself. Its cryptic but honest.

"I wanted...I want things to change...between us...to be...more..." My current state reminds me of my call for my genuine thing that I made in this room once. Raw emotion lacking a definite direction.

"I...see..."

Wanting to calm myself down. I steady my breathing and try to be more casual."I can't but what I feel into words. I'm sorry I surprised you or if I hurt you. I'm sure most girls want their first kiss to be...more spectacular..."

For the first time since her lips were on mine, they curved into a mischievous smile, one that I didn't know I desperately needed.

"Oh? You're assuming you were my first?"

"By saying that you've pretty much confirmed I was. Not that...I'm complaining"

"Ahh, a true beast driven solely by instinct. I had no doubts."

"You're one to talk. You didn't exactly stop me."

She blushes wildly. My heart melts. She holds her hands behind her and looks away. "I suppose...I didn't..."

We're silent again but its comfortable this time. I can finally breathe easier. I watch the steam raise from my cup before she speaks again.

"So...are you going to confess properly to me anytime soon?"

I gulp. "I...sort of did..."

She pouts.

"Words only carry so much weight you know?" I try to sound cool and fail.

"Then actions are your only other option" she retorts.

"And...what actions would you like me to take?"

She looks off into the distance for a sort time before answering "The Moonlight Book Store after club tomorrow"

"As in...a date?"

She blushes some more but forces the word out "Yes..."

"...alright..." I answer. My mouth feeling dry, I reach for my tea and gulp some down. While I was doing that she took her seat. I did the same and we returned to our silence. I finished the tea and turned to look at to see her eyes on the empty seat between us. This time I knew exactly what she was feeling because I was as well. A heaviness and guilt. Like we had just done something unfair that we shouldn't have. I put my cup down and it gets her attention.

"We'll...tell her together..."

"...yes." her voice sounding strained. "I...know its selfish to hope for things to all go my way, but I just want to be truthful."

"I feel the same..." I say back. "Whatever happens, I want it to be real..."

She turns the page in her book. "Also, I feel like I should warn you. I expect that I will be quite a difficult girl to deal with."

"Do you think I'm not going to be difficult? We'll just suffer together instead of alone. That's what it really is isn't it?"

"Yes, I suppose that's true..." she smiles at me In her usual way, dimples in her cheeks and canines barely showing. The setting sun making her seem to glow. In that moment all regrets and doubts are far away. The Rom-Com Gods have captured me and I'm helpless. "More tea?"

The End.

Hello there. This was just a very basic idea that was in my head for a long time that I finally wanted to get out. I did it all in one sitting which isn't usually my style. I know its not the greatest and could have been better. I just wanted and needed to write these characters again in an attempt to get back into their heads. If you're wondering where the next chapter is of "And So, Hikigaya Hachiman Saves The Day" it is coming soon. Its about Eighty Percent done and will hopefully be out this Summer. I'm sorry its taken so long. That's all I have to say I guess. I'm glad if you liked it but its nowhere near my best work. :P

Thanks for reading :)