Chapter ten! Alright, so the question... why did it take me so long to write this chapter? Well, lately I've lost a little enthusiasm for this story. So I'm going to take a method from RevantReepor337's book and take a break from this story. By the way, her RaC stories are awesome, so check 'em out! :) Alright... how long will this break last? Probably a few days at least. I dunno.

Anyway, now to reply to a review.

The White Guardian: I must say I'm intrigued to see where this AU is heading. At first glance it seems as if the characters are more intertwined and have more to them than in the original story.

That said, there are a few parts in this chapter where I think slight improvements could be made. The part where XJ-0461 jumps off the conveyor belt in response to the scanner identifying him as a defect seems a bit emotionless, it'd probably benefit from Clank having a brief moment of realization before acting. I don't know how to word it well, so please bear with me - I'll just rewrite a few lines to illustrate what I mean:
"As if it could anticipate the young robot's confusion, the mechanical arm suddenly emitted a bright, red cone of light, before slowly scanning the small automaton. Said robot was quite impressed by the show of light, but sadly, said luminous display was for a nefarious purpose, and the robot nearly jumped as the facility's alarms suddenly went off.

As if that wasn't bad enough, the arm specified what exactly had happened. "Defect detected!" it blared seemingly as loudly as possible. "Preparing for immediate destruction, in three... two..."

The young defect, in sheer panic, threw itself off the conveyor belt which, on second thought, may not have been the best solution, given that he hadn't bothered to check if there was anything for him to land on."

I hope you can see what I mean. It's a brief moment of interaction between XJ-0461 and the mechanical arm, but it helps with the immersion by detailing thing such as ambient sound, or the defect's impulsive reaction. It doesn't require and shouldn't require a long narrative, but it's little details like that that make a scene seem complete, just like how a bathroom or a kitchen would seem odd without little bottles and flasks and such to dress it up. No matter how great the furniture, it feels off without the details.

Another example is when Victor manages to hit the escape pod. All we know is that it make the shuttle shudder, but we don't really see Clank's reaction to this. Granted, he looks unfazed in the source material, but that's just weird - he narrowly escaped being dismantled, then being dissected by a towering brute. It'd probably benefit from XJ0461 relaxing somewhat as the shuttle gains altitude, before fear coming back in full as the ship gets hit.

Then there were a few sentences that felt a bit... off.
"a large robot started thundering" feels a bit off, and if I'm really honest I think it'd better be rephrased to something like "thundering footsteps stalking the defect announced the presence of a colossal machine"

"smashed the visor" feels weird to read, it'd probably be better with the word 'visor' replaced with 'windshield', or 'cockpit window'.

Then there's Ratchet's implied past history with the Blarg. I applaud you on this concept, it's a really neat idea and I'm curious as to where you'll be taking it. However, it was introduced somewhat hastily for the importance it has. For example, imagine Ratchet noticing a Blarg and having a moment of shock at recognizing the species before acting, like having him notice the Blarg without the Blarg noticing him, and having him rush out of view, like pressing himself around the corner to process what he has seen. This both helps with immersion, and with giving the reader insight as to how this encounter exactly affects Ratchet.

Ratchet's journey to the crash site feels like it could be fleshed out more, as currently pretty much the entire journey is wrapped up in a single sentence. Increasing this length helps with chapter length, immersion, and pacing, because currently the entire journey to a crash site is given less screen time than a brief conversation with Mr. Micron.

All in all I think you've made a great start, and I'm excited to see where you take this story!
Take care,
TWG

Reply: Wow, this is probably one of the longest reviews I've ever gotten (the other really long one I got was from TheLilyoftheValley, but that was for another story. :) Thanks for the help, Guardian. I've applied pretty much everything you said I should do except for lengthening the level. I'll get to that eventually, but I'm still working it out. Anyway, looking forward to hearing more from you soon! :)

. . .

Gaspar, a ways outside the Blarg facility…

Ratchet and Cora's ships landed on Gaspar. The planet was coated in a sea of lava, with few pieces of land poking out of it. If it weren't for the Raritanium reserves on this planet, no one would want to come here. But pure Raritanium was in high demand, and thus this planet was a gold mine.

It wasn't exactly somewhere you'd want to have a honeymoon or summer vacation, though. Even a War Grok would think twice before coming here.

"Great, more lava," Ratchet muttered as he hopped out of his ship.

Clank jumped onto his back and replied, "At last we are not in it."

Cora approached the duo and said, "I've informed Captain Qwark and Grim of our progress."

Ratchet nodded. A few moments passed before he said, "You know that infobot Clank and I got from the Plumber guy on Novalis? I was thinking that maybe Drek is destroying planets so that he can build his own. He did say that the Blargian homeworld was polluted. Maybe he's trying to make a new planet for his people."

"I thought the same thing," Cora replied. "But something tells me there's more to it if Nefarious is involved."

Ratchet winced at the mention of Nefarious, but thankfully Cora didn't notice. "We should probably get moving."

Cora nodded. Equipping their Combusters, they walked down a small, sandy path. Large boulders were strewn about the dunes. Up ahead was a small cave. Ratchet and Cora halted in front of the entrance.

"You sure this cave leads to the base, Clank?" Ratchet asked.

"My scans do not lie," Clank replied. "This cave directly leads to the Blarg base."

Ratchet nodded in response. They headed into the cave, and the Lombax immediately wrinkled his nose at the stench. It smelled like a whole lot of things died in there.

Lined along the walls and ceiling were plants that glowed a soft orange, shining against the pitch-black obsidian. Tiny brown spiders with heavy shells scurried behind the obsidian boulders. Ahead was a group of one-eyed centipede like creatures. And they did not look happy that Ratchet and Cora decided to invade their retreat.

"RRRROOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!" The nearest creature took a snap at Ratchet. The Lombax flipped backwards and shot point blank it in the head with his Combuster. Another one of the critters tried to bite Cora, but got a scorched face for all its trouble.

The remaining five aliens wised up to the fact that they couldn't defeat the Rangers individually, so they ganged up and attempted to attack them in a group.

One pair of aliens charged at Ratchet while the other three went for Cora. Ratchet ducked as one of the aliens tried to chomp down on his face. The Lombax pointed his gun at the creature's throat and pulled the trigger.

The alien slumped to the side, dead. Ratchet, switching to his Pyrocitor, then dodged a snap of the other creature's jaws. The Lombax aimed his weapon at the alien and a burst of flames came out the barrel, killing the creature.

By that time, Cora had finished off her attackers. "C'mon, rookie," Cora said, sounding rather bored despite the situation. "This isn't a picnic."

Ratchet nodded as they walked down the path. Nothing else creepy-crawling around so far…

"Cora, according to my files you were the youngest Ranger to ever join the Galactic Rangers," Clank spoke, trying to make conversation. "Why do you join them?"

"None of your business, tin-can," Cora told him rudely, ending the conversation. How antisocial.

The group descended a small inclined path, which was a ways above a large pool of boiling lava. Out of the ground popped a small band of Teratropes. The creatures were brought down easily with a few shots of Cora's blaster, as they were dimmer than a match in a damp cave.

Ratchet and Cora reached the bottom of the path, where pieces of land stuck out of the lava, leading up to another path on the other side. Cora took the lead, leaping from one piece of land to another. Then, because the last piece of land was a bit higher than the others, she had to climb. Cora clambered up over the edge and stood up, turning to look at Ratchet. "Your turn rookie. Time to show your stuff."

Ratchet nodded, copying Cora's motions exactly. When he reached the spot where he would have to climb, he said to Clank, "Okay, Clank. Heli-Pack time in three, two, one!"

The boost from Clank's Heli-Pack got him part of the way up, but there was still quite a bit of climbing left. The Lombax inched his way up the rock wall, and all the while Cora was giving him insults.

"Wow, you're moving like a snail, rookie."

"I'm getting old up here. Hurry up!"

"I thought you Lombaxes were supposed to be quick on your feet."

Ratchet crawled up over the side of the edge, and after a moment of resting, stood up. He gave Cora a glare. "Right… ladies first."

Cora glared right back. "I'm not a lady."

"You got that right, jerk," Ratchet muttered.

Unbeknownst to him, Cora heard that. "What did you just say?!" She spat.

"Um, Ratchet, Cora," Clank tried to intervene. "I am detecting-"

"You heard me!"

"Please stop arguing-"

"You know, I'm really starting to not like your attitude," Cora said to Ratchet, a warning note in her voice.

"Really? Cause I'm not liking your attitude either," Ratchet retorted.

"ENOUGH!" Clank's voice reverberated throughout the cave loud enough to the point where it caused a tremor. Some weak pieces of rock fell away from the walls, but other than that, thankfully the cave remained stable.

Ratchet and Cora looked at each other with wide eyes.

"Do tremors often occur here?" Ratchet asked.

"Not on this part of Gaspar," Cora answered slowly. "It's very rare for a quake to hit this area."

Clank knew that what occurred was no earthquake. He quickly ran a diagnostic on his power levels and saw that there had been a spike a few moments ago. He quickly created a program to alert him should his power levels do that again. Clank had to keep his powers in check.

"I have scanned the area," Clank lied, "and it appears there was a brief shifting of the tectonic plate we are standing on, which had caused the seismic tremor we felt. I suggest that we get out of this cave as soon as possible."

"Agreed," Ratchet replied as he and Cora headed further into the cave, where they encountered a few more centipede creatures. Said centipedes met their untimely demise by means of Ratchet's Warmonger.

Suddenly from the ceiling leapt a group of slimy, lizard like creatures. Their faces were disfigured and twisted as though someone had taken a knife to their faces, cut them, and then sown them back together in a major mix and match manner. Their yellowed teeth were similar to that of a saber toothed tiger's, and their drooling, gaping maws didn't help their appearance in the slightest.

The creatures decided that they would make a lunch out of the newcomers and paid for this unwise decision by getting fried by a Pyrocitor.

"Oh dear," Clank murmured when he saw the carcasses as Ratchet and Cora continued down the path. "This is not good."

"What'ya mean?" Ratchet asked.

"Those creatures you just killed are called Malums," Clank told them. "Not unlike the fire ants on planet Tenemule, these creatures have a powerful queen that commands the hive. And… the queen is much larger and more territorial than the Malum drones. I recommend proceeding with caution."

"Those Malums didn't put up much of a fight," Ratchet said. "And we took out a Blargian Snagglebeast not too long ago! I bet this Malum queen isn't that tough!"

Cora rolled her eyes. "Don't let it go to your head, rookie. You just might get yourself killed."

"Okay, spit it out," Ratchet snarled, turning to her. "Why do you hate me so much?"

Cora glared at him. "Instead of wasting time on useless conversation, maybe we should just stick to the mission, huh?!"

Ratchet winced for the second time that day before continuing walking. "Alright, alright. Yeesh. Cranky…"

"What was that?!" Cora snapped.

"Uh… I said 'thankee' for those words of wisdom!" Ratchet replied, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

As they rounded the corner, they suddenly came upon a large Raritanium crystal that poked out of the ground. Scattered about the path were a few more like it. The cavern itself had widened out by several metres on all sides, making the sight even more beautiful.

"Well, I'll be," Ratchet murmured in amazement. The glow coming from the plants lining the walls seemed to make the crystals shine.

Cora shrugged. "Yeah, I guess it's alright. C'mon."

Ratchet let out a growl of irritation but followed Cora past the pretty scene.

"Sensors are picking up a large lifeform not far ahead," Clank told them. "It may be the Malum queen."

Suddenly a rumbling sound could be heard. And it was getting closer.

"The lifeform is headed towards us!" Clank exclaimed.

"Quick, is there another route?" Cora asked.

"Scanning… yes. There is a tunnel round the corner that leads away from the lifeform," Clank replied. "However, I do not think-"

"No time, let's go!" Ratchet bounded towards the tunnel, Cora at his side.

But before they could reach it, a large lizard squirmed up to them. It looked down at the group and roared. Saliva dripped from its mouth.

"As I was saying," Clank spoke, "we would not have been able to reach it in time."

"How do I get myself into these situations?" Ratchet muttered to himself.