ARCEUS' ANNOUNCEMENT
Chapter One

"I have gathered you all here to attend this meeting as I have something of great importance to announce," began Arceus. "I have-!" His silver iPhone 8 Plus then rang.

"Herpes," muttered Giratina.

Glimpsing at the caller, the deity excused himself before standing from his seat. "Do forgive me everyone, this seems urgent... Oh myyy! Heeey Cynthiaaa~"

Everyone looked about the room, then at each other.

"What now?" asked Mew.

"Perhaps to simply wait for Arceus to return from his call in our current peaceful and diplomatic states would possibly be the most proper course of action?" Diancie smiled widely.

"Oh, shut your fat pink ass, Umbridge!" Zekrom yelled out. "Since when did we ever have a fucking normal meeting anyways?"

"Better ask yourself since when were you ever a normal being." The sly remark came from Darkrai, whose arms were folded over his chest, glowering at the deep black Unova Legendary. Celebi and Jirachi began giggling once more among themselves.

"What you say you fucking ni-!"

"Zekrom!" scolded Reshiram. "You know better than to use that word!"

"Says you, white ass." Now this time, Deoxys joined the fray. The blue-eyed dragon glowered fiercely at the alien, her claws gnawing at the marble table.

"You wanna go?"

"Sorry, hun, but he's mine!" Rayquaza exclaimed rushing over to where Deoxys was seated. The DNA Pokemon hurriedly rushed out of the way, and consequently, resulted to Latios being tackled and crushed instead.

The ladies gasped. For a whole solid minute, the entire Hall of Origin froze. It was at this moment that Rayquaza knew, he fucked up.

Latios recovered from the blow. "It's all right, Rayquaza. Accidents, unfortunately, happen." But, no, it was not all right. Not for Cresselia, Shaymin, Suicune, Reshiram, Meloetta, Diancie, Mesprit, Xerneas, etcetera.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, OH SHIT. Rayquaza immediately got off the blue Eon Pokemon and stumbled across the several furious hell-hath-no-fury-like-a-woman-scorned. Seeing that the females prepared to blast each of their own special attacks, the poor emerald dragon curled up like a centipede and whimpered.

"What in the world?!"

Arceus bellowed as he entered the room. "I leave, like, for less than two minutes and this is what I see? Mew! You're supposed to be keeping an eye on everybody!"

Mew held up a paw in disbelief. "Uh, since when was that ever my job?"

"Ugh, duh. It's your obligation being the 'Original One'!"

"Oh, of course! Riiight Arceus. That makes perfect sense! Being able to play pretend makes me qualified for such a wonderful position as mediator. I know what I should be called - Executive Peacemaker."

Arceus used Gravity and the levitating psychic landed her furry ass painfully on the marble floor. Mew cried out in pain and rubbed her bottom to soothe it.

"Foul!" she cried out.

Cresselia then hovered over to the meddling party. "Arceus, forgive my intrusions, but now that you're here, shouldn't we be getting back to the important matters? You had an announcement to make?"

"Why yes! Of course!"

Arceus then went off to his seat as well as the rest of the other legendaries. Mew grumpily returned to hers, yet felt a slight cushion before she could sit down. Mewtwo used Telekinesis to slightly levitate her from her seat so she would not feel as uncomfortable.

"Mewtwo, t-thank you, but you really don't have to!" Mew told her clone.

"I was about to suggest that, if it is to your liking, you could sit on m-!" He immediately halted himself.

"Sit where?"

"Nothing."

…

Again, things have returned to 'normal' with Arceus preparing for his announcement whilst the rest gave him their full attention.

"It has appeared to me that I may have not been as keen to your needs. Legendary Pokémon, as well, need some time off!"

"What the hell is a time-off?" Lugia asked, being one of the responsible 24/7 guardian of the seas.

"Duh, it means to stop time!" Dialga said. "Arceus wants me to stop time!"

"Stop trying to sound so important, Dialga, you're not," Palkia argued. Before another fight could ensue, Arceus continued.

"Aherm! This is why I am offering you all one free night out to do anything you want. A whole twelve hours, all to yourselves."

A mixture of puzzled and excited murmurs filled the air in the room.

"What exactly do we do?" nervously asked Cresselia. "I have never had time for myself in this manner! I work every night!"

Suicune chuckled with a naughty grin on her face. Huddling over to where most of the girls were, she gave her suggestions. "We should go out and have some fun! Y'know, like a Girls Night Out!"

"What's a Girls Night Out?" asked the ever-innocent Latias.

"It's when a bunch of girls go out to clubs, get drunk, end up having kids with a guy they had never met." The latter looked at Articuno, expressions of excitement, fear, and disgust written over their faces.

"What? I've been to one."

"And… are you pregnant?" Mew asked, her tone hinted with sarcasm.

"Hey, I'm not saying it's a bad idea. It's just that, we should know where to go, be with those we trust, and be responsible ourselves."

"I think it's a wonderful idea!" Cresselia beamed. "It would give us the chance as girl-friends to finally have our incredibly delayed heart-to-heart." The red Eon dragon joined in her friend's cheer. Of course, being the two most innocent and inexperienced Legendaries, they had yet to expect what a real Girls Night Out was.

Suicune looked over to Articuno, who looked over to Mew.

"This outta be fun."

…

"What in the shit are they talking about?"

Zekrom huddled over with Deoxys, Mewtwo, Latios, Rayquaza and Darkrai. The group were looking over where the girls stood, whispering and chuckling amongst themselves.

"Maybe it would be helpful if someone had some psychic abilities to help us out," Darkrai pointed out. Deoxys held out his hands.

"Hey, don't look at me you fuckers, I don't do no mind-readin' voodoo crap."

The latter then glanced at the Pokémon clone. Raising a brow, Mewtwo watched with folded arms as the rest give him a blank stare - a blank, yet meaningful, stare.

"I know what you're all thinking, it's not goi-!"

"See? He already knows what we're thinking!" bellowed Deoxys.

"Mewtwo," Latios began. "If we may find out what the girls are planning then maybe we could decide whether to join them?"

"Are you all serious? Do I look like some creepy pervert who just starts stalking and reading the minds of unsuspecting Pokémon?"

"Duh, I bet you do that with Mew all the time." Deoxys snorted as he bursts out laughing, until he was blasted with a powerful Shadow Ball to his family jewels.

Author's Message: Though this was just a short chapter (I promise the next one would be longer), expect a lot more fun in the next one. Get ready for some bad puns, lewd jokes, and maybe some actual advice on going out clubbing with friends (say what?).

Speaking of... If you were Suicune, Articuno, or Mew, what advice would you give to the first-timers, Cresselia and Latias? (Who knows? It might just actually appear on the next chapter; with proper credit, of course).

One more thing! Let me know who you guys would want to see in the next chapters. Who should be given the spotlight? Should the girls consider of going to a strip club or perhaps just the usual ones?

Review and let me know!