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Don't Give in to that Feeling

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Prologue

He swayed to the rhythm of loss, his mind replaying that goodbye with Mike; his body responding to a loved one as he danced to the rhythm of a dream.

He could swear Donna had been giving him hints that she was interested. Sheer contact and various dance moves had made it impossible for him not to come in contact with the parts that made her who she was. She was a gorgeous woman who brandished the most infrequent hair color. He spent some time staring at her backless dress, taking in that bare pale skin, drawn to that black sleeveless unity with a strange pattern lacing on the back – something akin to zigzags. His physical response to having his hands graze her skin was pulsating in his pants and he wondered if she could feel it. Even if he wasn't quite sure he understood the workings of this particular low-back, misguided strapless dress, he was dead certain his hands, arms and chest had brushed past hard nipples.

The kiss that night in her office encompassed the purest essence of need: a signal that she wanted more. Paula was a distant memory – nothing more than a moment of madness for the woman standing so close to him was an object of desire. The reception hall was full of Tanners and Marks and guys he would have never dreamed of knowing. His friends and guests were dancing around them but all he could see was the woman in his arms being coveted by men who weren't him; they had no right.

The passion he felt for her would never run out. She was that scotch refill he wouldn't take because he was afraid to drink the whole thing. He'd refused that state of inebriation so many times before; years of nights in her company. Unable to let himself go, too afraid she'd say no. And yet, he felt like a king and she, his creature so much so that the feeling of her hand on his back, the sweet caress of her fingertips against his knuckles sent him raving.

Lips close to her ear, trembling and tasting incomplete, he did the only thing his muted mouth couldn't say. Come with me. Taking a risk by dragging her out of the dance floor unceremoniously made him walk faster. The beating in his chest emphasized the thrilling sensation of catching her off-guard.

Before he knew, they were out of the reception hall. He couldn't hear what she was saying for he was focused on finding more intimate surroundings. He found a door leading into a dim-lit library.

"What's going on Harvey?"

I don't want to dance anymore. The rise and fall of his stomach set off by the rush he felt didn't just indicate lust in the form of erratic breathing, but the distinct fear that the creature of his dreams would bail out the second he told her his motivation for coming here.

"Okay, so why did you bring me here?"

He could feel himself analyzing this too much. He didn't know whether he was frozen in space or time. He didn't feel that aching frustration anymore; he didn't think he knew what his name was anymore. All he could see and feel was her, inches away, her back against the door.

He saw her place her hand on the doorknob. "Well, I'm gonna go back out there and fix myself a drink while you figure out what it is you want to tell me."

He watched her turn the knob to open the door. The click sound he heard had him head straight for her, yank her hand away from the knob and back her up against the door.

Craving her, desiring every inch of her was one of the many sins their relationship had concealed from view. Purging those sins without her wasn't even an option.

Not sliding his tongue against hers, staying away from her lips and not bending towards her were never recorded in that fast-forward brain of his. Rewinding through short-term memory as she began responding to his kiss, everything became clear. She wanted this too. He stooped to trail kisses from her jaw to her neck. His closed eyes could see as if through thermal goggles. Patches of orange and red heat emitted from her. Reveling in that infrared spectrum, he buried his head against the pulsing point of her carotid artery and sucked, switching her band to his. Encircling her waist, drawing her in, he forced her to turn around. Cheek pressed against the door, her face looked flushed, desperate for more as she panted for air.

She put her hand between them and began stroking the mistreated length under his pants. He groaned into her hair and unraveled the laces in her back by ripping them from her body. She gasped and all he could do was watch the top fabric fall down to her waist, exposing a map of skin and the road to the small of her back. He could feel her shiver beneath his fingertips as they sought a path towards the fabric she was holding on to. All forms of restraint disappeared and she unclenched her fists, letting the dress fall to the floor.

He gulped as she turned around. Her breasts were full, nipples taut and pink, desperate for his mouth. He stepped forward and cupped her breasts in his hands. He stooped down again to suck on one of them while his thumb stroked her free nipple.

"Harvey."

He felt his name deep in his core as it fell from her soft aroused tone. She unbuttoned his pants and pulled the zipper down. She slid her hand inside his boxers, reached for his cock and yanked it free. He fisted his shaft; slowing his strokes down to torture because he couldn't wait to be inside of her. He watched her part the lace of her panties that shielded her entrance from view to the side. He cradled one leg in his arms, giving him enough access to ease himself into her. She moaned for him to go harder on her and then faster until her leg seemed so weak he had to support it too. He thrust, extremities burning with desire for her and hips pushing upward.

He moaned, arm and hand sore as he tumbled into the realm of reality; hips twitching violently, cum on his sheets and the fantasy gone.

I – Keep them all inside

Harvey had spent three hours in a meeting with Robert and Louis. From renaming the firm Zane Specter Litt to agreeing on Robert's list of associates he would bring in. Alex would stay as junior partner for now and Samantha Wheeler – who, to say the least, had made quite an entrance this morning, wouldn't move up the ladder either. There were so many new issues; a new case he didn't want to think about. And yet half of his mind was stuck on the woman in the office next to his. He hadn't jerked off to her in ages. Not because he didn't want to. God he'd wanted to so many times and had sought the image of her accordingly. He wasn't sure her face had been as vivid as it was last night. He'd dreamed of her but masturbating to the thought of her hadn't happened a lot, maybe out of respect for her or simply because she was some year-old memory. He'd tried forbidding himself to do it too. Maybe he'd come up with body parts he remembered at times, wondering if he hadn't associated her existence in some form or another each time.

But Donna hadn't been included in some Picasso-like painting of exes last night; she was the only one on his mind. What used to be in black and white before had turned somewhat sepia – distant and yet so close. And many times, he'd wondered if she did the same – touching herself thinking of him, allowing him to revel in the fact that she might have. It was her attachment he was lost in. Her love wasn't a sure thing anymore. But she was the only one who could keep his head from going under. Their symmetrical – harmonious and beautiful proportion and balance, fighting each other only when necessary to their well-being; he had more than feelings for her. It had never been just about her being desirable, sexy beyond words. And maybe that was the main problem otherwise he'd never have been seeking other beds save for hers.

The months spent with Paula had disappeared and that distant memory of fiery red hair hiding his cock from view had come crashing hard on him. His mind and senses had been talking dirty about Donna in his office, in the bedroom or in the shower; wherever for the better part of the week. He didn't think this was funny. He didn't like it because it was his brain's way of dealing with feelings. Feelings he'd buried a long time ago. How to approach them was the most messed up and asymmetrical decision he ever had to make.

"Harvey," Donna barged into his office.

"What is it, Donna?" He sighed – he wasn't ready for an argument. Last night had been so nice. Another black dress – different pattern, sleeveless but no lace. He didn't need the laces, he didn't need the dance to get tangled up in her. For another moment away from her would pull him out of sanity.

"You really have to do something about this woman." She sounded exasperated.

"I take it you've met her;"

"Remember last night when I told you everything would be okay?" Of course he remembered. She had been slow dancing in his arms, his nose so close to her hair, breathing in that distinctive amber – or was it civet – scent his dad had joked drove a man wild because it made it impossible not to think about sex.

He never answered and she kept going. "Well I changed my mind. That woman is a freaking pain and potential earthquake."

If love had always been the answer than what was the question?

"Donna?"

"And don't you dare tell me I'm exaggerating."

He rose up from behind his desk and walked in her direction. "Donna?"

"I can hold my own but you have to delay senior partnership for as long as possible. Alex and Katrina should be your priorities."

He wanted to give her wild love, the kind that would never subside; he was done slowing the inevitable down. He wanted to take her higher just as high as his heart was in chest – trying to burst out of his body.

"Donna?" He was standing right in front of her.

"What?" She eyed him carefully – the interruption sounded unwanted.

"Do you want to go out…" He let the words trail, inducing error in her understanding.

"Sure, you want to have lunch at Le Bernardin?"

"We can go there if you want but that's not what I asked." He stepped closer and brushed his hand against hers.

"I know what you meant Harvey. But we've been over this." She truly was an amazing performer. But she seemed to think they were too good to live in love and risk their relationship.

Passion and reason coursed through his bloodstream, tearing at his guts to just flood her with everything he'd been holding inside.

"Have we?" His fingertips lingered against her knuckles.

"You said you wanted things to go back to normal between us."

"I've been known to keep things from you." He wanted nothing but to catch her off-guard and stroke her cheek. "What's holding you back? And don't tell me it's just me reacting to Mike leaving."

"I wasn't going to say that."

"Yes, you were." He tilted his head to the side. The bullshit wouldn't hold for long.

"Okay, I was going to say that. And then I'd bring up the fact that everything's changing around us." Her stare was filled with concern.

"I'm not looking for obstacles anymore. I want to go out with you."

"What if this," she gestured between them as if resetting their connection on a new level – a level they'd argued over and added, "isn't what you want?"

"I'm sure of who I want. The how, I've spent days thinking about and the what, I've had years to figure out. Now, I think I deserve some honesty on your part."

"Harvey…"

"I can't be the only one who wants this." He observed her posture: fidgety. She was nervous and uncertain. "Is this because of work then?"

"No."

"So this is more than that. You said you didn't feel anything, were you lying then?"

"Yes." She was staring anywhere but at him.

"Then you know that I chose you." He took one step closer.

"And you reminding me of that is what I'm going to get in return?" She took a step back.

"You kissed me, Donna. What did you think was going to happen?"

"I thought you'd reject me, Harvey and that I would know once and for all."

"So I take it you don't really know how you feel."

"And you do?"

Harvey brought his face close to hers. "Tell me…" He levelled his mouth to her slightly parted one and brushed his lips against hers. "Is this so wrong?" She closed her eyes instantly. Her lips were cold against his; probably from shock. He worked his way to warm them up. Feeling her breath, the rhythm of it against his mouth reminded him of the perfect taste she'd offered him a little over two week ago. Instead of running in circles, his mouth was doing the trick – bringing her back to compromise. Her lips remained immobile as he glided his tongue against teeth and flesh.

He engulfed her lips between his one last time, eliciting something between a moan and an urge as she breathed in, before pulling away slowly. He waited patiently, watching her eyes flutter open.

"I haven't said yes, Harvey."

"It's okay. At least now you know how I feel." His mind wasn't set on walking away.

Nobody could get him high the way she did when they touched. He wanted to get lost in sheets, enough to get lost in her; have her lose herself in him.

Her reaction stopped his brain, put his bloodstream on hold; he'd chased the skyline for so long he'd forgot what it was like to look at the Heaven-sent woman by his side. She stripped the skyscraper, concrete floors to highest ceiling – when she licked her lips.

DGF

DGF

Here's the new fic! It's not Too Many Times for sure, hehe. ;) I hope you'll enjoy the difference. As usual, hit that review button if you like it and WANT MORE.

Alternateshadesofblue is still my faithful and loyal *cough* servant, I mean friend on this little adventure. Thank you for your help, m'deer and that beautiful cover/poster/I don't know what it's called. Just to let you guys know, she came up with one of the best pieces of writing in this chapter simply because she's awesome. ;)