So this chapter is a little short but the other one is more than 4K! No update for the next two weeks I won't have any access to a computer
WARNING: depiction of a suicide attempt/mental breakdown. This part starts from One day… I ran away without taking everything toinstead. Then a lot of other things happened
Shoto slept five hours but it was not a peaceful sleep. He dreamt of kettles, Kazeiko and Fuyumi crying while reading a letter and three children playing soccer. When he woke up he was faced with golden eyes.
« You're kinda pretty Todoroki-kuuun not as much as Izuku-kun but if I touch you Dabi would surely throw a tantrum. He's so moody these days. Besides I've only had eyes for Izuku-kun these days!
-If I was told that a girl would be interested in this fucking nerd….A villain moreover.
Don't touch me hag!
- Don't speak ill of Izuku-kun!
The door banged revealing Dabi. His eyes were clearly avoiding Shoto.
« Hello Dabi! How are you? »
« Fine « He mumbled but Shoto could clearly see that he was struggling to stay awake. Someone else has not got any good sleep apparently. If he still had skin under his eyes, he would surely have seen dark rings.
Dabi made his way towards the bar counter which served also as a kitchen and began frying eggs and making coffee. Shoto did not get very often to have meals with him after the appearance of his quirk but he remembered that he ate for five people and liked his eggs almost burnt while Kazeiko ate almost nothing and Fuyumi took after their mother and ate anything with sugar and Nocilla. Of course his father did not eat with them or else he wouldn't have those few happy memories before all went down.
« Dabi! Could you make me a cup of hot chocolate? » Himiko chirped.
« A cup of green tea for me please! » Mr Compress asked . He was browsing through the newspapers and Shoto could see that UA was on the front page.
« Fine but you're going to take it yourself. » the fire-Quirk user grumbled while putting the machine on.
The scene was very domestic… almost mundane. Shoto was not sure what he expected from the League of villains but it was not this. How long did Ryudai plan to join them? Was it after he fled the house or before? Was the hospitalization of their mother the breaking point or did he plan to leave before? And the ugliest question : he seems to have a grudge against Endeavor and him but does it extend to the other siblings? Were they safe? He thought of Fuyumi the one he was the closest to and of Kazeiko the one Endeavor maybe despised the most. He truly hoped they were OK.
One by one the members of the League came and breakfasted while the prisoners were trying to ignore their stomachs growling.
« We need to feed them » Kurogiri remarked while cleaning glasses. Nobody moved.
« I'm absolutely not getting near them. Fire and explosive sweat… not a good match» Dabi murmured as Bakugo was clenching his fists
Finally M. Compress sacrificed himself and cautiously feed them some eggs and cereals but Bakugou managed to bite him.
The villain then turned to Todoroki who followed the orders without complaining. He thought that Endeavor would never let him cereals for it was « unhealthy » and asked for more. It tasted good.
« UA has announced they will make a press conference tomorrow. I'm curious to hear how they justify it. »Shigaraki said while checking his phone his meal left untouched.
« This would be fun… a group of ten villains snatching under their very eyes one pro-hero and two students » Mr Compass remarked.
Bakugo and Todoroki looked at each other. One pro-hero kidnapped? Was it Aizawa-sensei?
« We landed a very big hit. » Dabi remarked eerily and grinning widely.
« It was good work and a big step towards our goal » Kurogiri agreed.
« Maybe we could celebrate it since yesterday we were too tired. I don't want to celebrate anything with you assholes! » Twice said.
« As long as you don't ruin the bar… » Kurogiri sighed.
« Yeah a party. Mary don't you want us to have a sleepover like good friends? » Himiko asked to the healer.
« Why not… »
« Let's put our guests upstairs I don't think they would be too pleased to have noise with you » Kurogiri concluded. How considerate of him Shoto thought while rolling his eyes.
Bakugo and him were put in two separate rooms. He was put on a bed and Twice forced him to smell a tissue with chloroform.
He dreamt of his family. They were playing football without him and Ryudai was falling and the others laughing. his mother was smiling and Enji was nowhere to be seen.
« Come on Shoto don't you want to play with us? « Ryudai added. His face was blurry it has been a long time since Shoto saw him last before he was burnt and he was ashamed to say he did not remember it entirely. The fact that nearly all pictures of him were banned from the house did not help.
He accepted with enthusiasm and the other's face contorted. Instead of Ryudai stood Dabi. And on his left there were Midoriya and Shoji screaming because of blue flames.
« How noble from you my prey. Wake up Shoto wake up»
He woke up and Dabi was sitting near him cigarette between his lips and a bottle of beer in his left hand. How long had he been staying there?
« You were visibly having a nightmare so I took the liberty to wake you up » he said.
They stayed like that in silence before Dabi shrugged off and pointed at his beer.
« You want to drink?»
He accepted caught the bottle and began to drink it. Dabi stopped him before he could finish it in one shot.
« Not too much Shoto you're still a minor aren't ya?. » and Shoto could feel the alcohol and tobacco on his breath and see the clumsy way he was standing. And were his pupils dilated?
Dabi laid on the bed mumbling something about the walls moving. He was visibly not worried about Shoto and he was right because Shoto still had anti-Quirk shackles
« So… are we going to act like nothing happened? » He said. Maybe it was the alcohol kicking in, the fear and the anger who was making him acting so recklessly but he did not care. « Where were you? Who did that to you? We thought you were dead, Why did you leave this letter "I'll be gone don't look for me take care of yourselves dear siblings? »
« Myself » He slurred alcohol visibly affecting his elocution.
The white-haired man stayed silent. One of Endeavor 's sidekick tracked his brother down. They found his footsteps near the lake and one lady living near it reported that she saw a boy matching the description standing near the lake. Endeavor commenting on his weakness and that he has been weak from his very birth and Kazeiko angry - the one time Shoto saw him truly angry. They thought he had dived
"One day… I ran away without taking everything. I did not go to a ho-hospital or to seek help for us but to the cliff because I am a coward. I don't think you know that feeling when you walk across a bridge you see the water down and you think it would be better for yourself and everyone to jump? You think that anything and even nothingness would be better than this life ; you just want a way out because death has to be better than the life you lead. I had to take at one point karaté lessons which I hated at the other end of the town and I asked the driver to change the road because we drove near a railroad and I itched to just lay down and let the train ran across me.
This day I went near the cliff just across the lake I don't know if you remember… but a little while before you got your quirk we used to play together there. I sat down my foot just on the edge of the death. I did not know what to do. I was angry and I wanted to d-die. This was too much. I hesitated between jumping and fleeing but jumping has my preference. Then I saw my reflection on a puddle of water. I remembered spitting on my reflection out of hatred and I remember my desire to disappear out of this earth, my desire to destroy everything in relation to this man. Ya know I used to be the one closer to Endeavor in terms of looks and Quirk? I was not blind I know that Mother mistook me for him several times. I don't remember how exactly it played out - a few seconds are missing from my mind- but I remember seeing myself falling in flames and drowning in the river. I felt the air going through my lungs and I was happy to see that I could not breath. But some part of me still did not want to die. I must have been a funny sight back then because one second I swam and one second after I was trying to force my head underwater.
When I emerged of the river I was another person. Ryudai was dead and Dabi was born. A fisher rescued me and took me to the nearest hospital which tried to save what could be saved. At one point I saw myself in the mirror. I did not burn the skin under my eyes at this time. I thought seriously of finishing the work and burning or gouging my eyes out but I thought I would need them for later so I put fire to the skin under instead. Then a lot of other things happened»
…
Shoto has his eyes wide open. he expected something horrible but reality was somehow far worse than his nightmares. His brother tried to kill himself and put himself on fire while enduring a mental breakdown . Guilt creeped through him : he was eight when Ryudai who was fifteen at this time disappeared he should have done something. He should have seen something. How could he hope to save people when he has been unable to save his brother?
« But enough talking about me. I have a lot of questions for you as well»
« I…I » Shoto did not know how to say it. When he was with his mother he was assaulted with guilt and the same feeling was running through him.
« I m sorry. » Even if I could do nothing.
He thought that Dabi was too much his mother's son, too unstable. He needs help. He had to get out to help him.
« There was nothing you could have done. » He said while absently staring at the ceiling.
They finished another bootle of booze in silence. Sweet sibling bonding time. Endeavor rarely drinks and looked down on drinkers because for him drinking is a sign of weakness, Shoto remembered. He shivered at the thought of a alcoholic Endeavor. Maybe he would have been more violent. Maybe the alcohol would have forced him to sleep.
« I saw you at the Sport festivals. »
« On TV? »
« Nah I bough a ticket for the tournament. The old scum must have been pissed that you did not make it to the top. » Shoto realized with horror that Ryudai was not joking. UA really needed to reinforce the security. He must have said it aloud because the black-haired man said:
« I was not a member of the League back then but yeah your security is really crappy. Eraserhead is quite good but it was almost too easy to take you. But I wonder why did you use… why are you crying? »
Tears rolled down Shoto's cheeks. For years he thought he was dead. And he was alive. He was alive. He tried to kill himself but whatever lays in the skies saved him.
« I'm so glad you''re here and alive. » He managed to crack out. He must have seemed weak- heroes don't cry - but he doesn't care. This was his brother the one who saw him throwing up and crying after training sessions.
Honestly it felt good crying. It has been years and he has the impression to be numb to everything to live in a cotton bubble. The harsh words of Endeavor did not get to him, the screams of Kazeiko and cries of rage of Fuyumi also did not get to him. He has rarely cried since his mother got sent away and had not shed a tear at all since his brother's disappearance and since then he sunk down deeper and deeper. The only thing he felt was anger. He got better since he got into UA and mostly since his fight with Midoriya - I did not nearly thank him enough- but this…
« Oh brother of mine» Dabi wobbled, his fingers nearly trailing over Shoto's cheek. «. Trust me great things are coming ahead for us. »
Before Dabi could elaborate more he stood up and ran to the bathroom. Shoto heard the familiar sound of someone throwing up. Dabi came back later visibly disheveled
« Seemed like I drank too much. Well it's my eighth bootle so why am I surprised? »He said to no one while hobbling out of the room and leaving Shoto alone one time again.