Disclaimer: "The Big Bang Theory" belongs to Warner Brothers.

Sheldon Cooper had gotten all his work done ahead of schedule. Now he had 99 minutes to kill before he headed home. He checked his email. There was none. How he was going to spend the next hour and a half?

He did not want to mindlessly surf the Internet. If he was going to surf the Internet, it would be mindful surfing.

So he looked up Life Expectancy Calculators on Google. Then he started a deep analysis on them.

First, he ruled out Life Expectancy Calculators that were too simplistic, such as those that only asked for a birth date and a resting heart rate. He also ruled out websites that wanted you to create a user name and password.

Ultimately, he found nine websites that he felt were worthy of accurately predicting future outcomes. He grabbed a notebook and began taking notes, using Post-Its to organize his finding by each website. He noted how many questions each website had, not just in overall totals, but in types of questions (multiple choice or fill-in-the-blank) along with all the possible answers for each multiple-choice question.

Then he entered in all of Amy Farrah Fowler's personal information, noting which answers he selected for each website. After summarizing the final results, he came up the following basic statistics:

Average life expectancy: 84

Minimum life expectancy: 75

Maximum life expectancy: 123

Now Sheldon had gotten the results he wanted and it was the time that he could leave. He shut down his computer, turned off the light, locked his office door, and left the building.

But he had someplace he wanted to stop first. The Hallmark Store.

Entering the store with a laserlike focus, he went straight to where he wanted to be. The anniversary card section.

He selected one anniversary card. Then a second. Then a third. Followed by a fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, and ninth, until he had a grand total of 42 anniversary cards, no two of which were alike. Birthday cards were somewhat more plentiful. He was able to pick up 56 different birthday cards.

When he headed for the cashier, the cashier remarked, "That's a lot of cards. Should I be calling Guinness World Records?"

"Please don't," Sheldon answered. "The number of cards I have is far from sufficient."

So after purchasing all the cards available at the Hallmark store, he went to a grocery store for even more cards. At the grocery store, he purchased 60 different anniversary cards and 46 birthday cards. He also looked for new calendars, but sadly, none of them went out further than 18 months. Why couldn't there be any calendars that lasted 10 years? Why did calendar companies make you buy a new calendar every single year?

Because of all this, Sheldon arrived at the apartment about half and a hour later than usual.

"Sorry I'm late," he told Amy.

"What took you so long?" Amy asked.

Sheldon's answer was honest, yet ambiguous. "Let's just say I was extensively planning for our future together."

They ate dinner together, watched a few TV shows, and then went to sleep.

Sheldon, on the other hand, got up about an hour before he needed to. So he made good use of his time. He did so by signing all of the anniversary cards.

Happy 1st Anniversary! Love, Sheldon

Happy 2nd Anniversary! Love, Sheldon

Happy 3rd Anniversary! Love, Sheldon

Happy 4th Anniversary! Love, Sheldon

Happy 5th Anniversary! Love, Sheldon

Happy 6th Anniversary! Love, Sheldon

Happy 7th Anniversary! Love, Sheldon

Happy 8th Anniversary! Love, Sheldon

Happy 9th Anniversary! Love, Sheldon

Happy 10th Anniversary! Love, Sheldon

He kept going and going until he reached "Happy 102nd Anniversary! Love, Sheldon". Then he noticed it was time for him to start eating breakfast and getting ready for work. Progress on his part was at the exact halfway point. 102 cards down, 102 to go.

The End.