A/N: SOOO… I think I'm not the only one who was dreading this chapter. Because THIS, is where it HURTS… (gulps) There's only so much Laura can take and 'Civil War' is where she meets her limit.

THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for your absolutely amazing reviews, love and affection! They've definitely helped bring this to a conclusion. (HUGS)

SO… Are you ready? No? Neither am I. But LET'S GO, anyway! I'm sorry…!

ADDITIONAL SONG FOR INSPIRATION: 'Happy Ending' from Mika

WE'VE REACHED THE PART OF THE 'TIGHTROPE' SCENE WHERE CHARITY REALIZES THAT SHE'S DANCING ALONE… (And yeah, the question mark is behind the title for a reason. I always hear it when I listen to the song, and... it sort of fits this chapter...)

Plus 1 – Walking the Tightrope (With You?)

Having Clint home, safe and sound, far away from all that danger and insanity… It felt better than Laura could describe. After having spent so much time missing him, fearing that she might never see him again, having him in her arms every night was intoxicating.

But despite the euphoria Laura didn't dare to relax. Not really. Because while she loved Clint, from the bottom of her heart… While she knew, with absolutely certainty, that she and the kids were his world, that he loved them more than he could say… She knew that he was struggling with the sudden transition to a stay-at-home dad. Because while he made the most of every single day he had with them, she saw his restlessness, noticed the shadows haunting his eyes on occasion. He'd spent too much of his life fighting to be able to stop with the snap of fingers, just because he was told that he could. None of that surprised her, no matter how much seeing it hurt. Nor could she blame him. She'd known the man he was before she decided to spend a lifetime with him.

So Laura cherished every single day. Took every opportunity she got to hold him. She told herself that he'd get a hang of it all eventually. That they just needed some time.

Until the day she'd dreaded finally came, like a thunderstorm after a long heatwave.

Somehow Laura knew, deep down. The second the phone rang. A cold she couldn't explain filled absolutely all of her and her skin crawled. Something that seemed to have long, razor sharp nails squeezed her heart.

She'd been dreading this ever since she first heard about the Accords. (Clint immediately refused to sign, announcing that he was retired. She noticed easily how tense he became, just like he always did when bracing himself for a mission. Eventually he headed for a run and didn't come back until hours later. The apology in his eyes and in the way he touched her scared her senseless. Because it reminded her of before.)

Clint left the bed almost soundlessly with his phone, most likely imagining that she was still asleep. She got up equally quietly as soon as he was out of the room. By the time she made it to the window he stood at the porch. His back was to her but she saw. Of course she did.

He tensed up like his bow's string. A few moments later the tension faded, leaving his shoulders slumping. Her eyes growing blurry, Laura watched him put away the phone. He stared at the horizon for a long time. Then kicked the porch's railing almost hard enough to break it and shoved a fist into his mouth, most likely to not startle the kids with his scream.

By the time Clint finally felt ready to come back inside Laura had gone back to bed. He hesitated behind the bedroom's door, as though unsure if he was worthy of entering. Laura turned her head just in time to catch his lips with hers. The way they claimed each other was intense, desperate.

('Don't you dare…!') ('I'm sorry.')

They both pretended that they didn't notice the other's tears.

Clint stalled for as long as he could. But he knew, all too well, that the bomb would have to go off eventually. His voice was barely audible as he let the words fall, his eyes closed to spare him from having to see the damage. Subconsciously he tightened his hold on Laura, savored the feeling of her beside him while he still could. He imprinted every detail of her to his mind carefully, in case… "Steve called." There was no response. "They… need me. Wanda needs me."

Laura didn't say anything but suddenly the back turned towards him seemed to be made of stone.

Feeling a desperate need to fill the suffocating silence, Clint rambled on. Explained everything he knew about the Winter Soldier Program. Said that he couldn't sign the Accords if it meant that those like Wanda would be under a metaphorical microscope. (Hadn't she spent enough of her young life as a glorified lab-rat?) He told everything and anything he could think of to make Laura understand why he had to…

Laura left the bed so quickly that he shivered. Her whole body was trembling in a manner that tore at his heart while she got dressed. Never once did she glance his way. "Fifteen minutes", she demanded sharply, uncompromisingly, then left him behind. (It killed him, to realize that she had to feel a thousand times worse every time he left. Now he'd put her through it again, after promising – swearing up and down – that never again.)

Clint didn't feel quite steady on his feet as he left the bed and made his way to the window. His chest clenched when he saw her there, back towards the house and her body shuddering from sobs. It was the first and last time he ever saw her smoking.

Clint joined Laura exactly fifteen minutes later. Wondering what he could possibly say, to try and fix… everything. "Laura, I'm so sorry. But I can't just…"

"I know. Don't you think I get it? That's… That's not the point. I always supported your Avenging. Even though it's nearly killed you way more times than I want to count. But this… This is different." Laura wiped her eyes, then finally looked towards him. So furious and sad at the same time that it was painful just to watch. "You're about to betray a bunch of friends for others! You're planning on doing something criminal! Do you understand that?"

"Of course I do!" Clint hadn't meant to sound quite so defensive. Just, the word 'criminal'… It was never supposed to be associated with him again. Once more all too aware of his wife's agony, he softened. "Hey. I won't even be gone that long. Tony will probably never even know that I was there."

"And what if something goes wrong?" Laura's fear, sheer terror, was as palpable as her frustrated fury. "What if they arrest you? How am I supposed to explain the kids that their dad's in jail?"

To their shame, neither had any idea of their far too young audience. "Mom? Dad?" Cooper seemed scared as the child looked at them with wide eyes. "What's going on?"

"I… don't understand." Cooper sounded as hurt and confused as only a child can. "You guys are supposed to be heroes."

Clint sighed heavily and wondered if he'd sound as exhausted as he felt. It was like he'd aged decades in a matter of hours. "I know, buddy. Sometimes adult stuff can be so confusing that it makes your head hurt."

"Like too much ice-cream."

"Exactly." Sensing the sadness radiating from his son, Clint wrapped one arm around the boy. Then attempted to explain better. "They're not criminals, even Bucky. There's… a really bad man behind it all. And we have to find him before he does some horrible stuff." He went on when Cooper said nothing. "I'm sorry I have to go again. But… The good guys are in a big fight. They're hurt, lost and can't think clearly. I've gotta go and see if I can help."

Cooper's brows furrowed further. The child's hand twitched towards his but didn't grab. "I thought you're retired and not picking sides. Or signing that accor… paper thing. And they're adults. Aren't adults supposed to know how to talk things through when they fight? Like you told me to do with Danny? We could do that when we were seven. Why can't they?" (When did the boy get so big and mature…?)

Clint smiled sadly. "I think I'll repeat that to Tony and Steve when I see them. I guess no one taught them that lesson."

Cooper said nothing, only finally took his hand and held on with all his might. The heavy silence lingered for a long time. "You're not gonna get arrested, right? Heroes aren't supposed to get arrested." The boy finally met his eyes, the child's full of fear, sorrow and disappointment. "We were supposed to go water skiing."

Clint couldn't say anything to that. Well, anything aside empty promises. I'm no hero, kid. Isn't this enough proof for you? "We'll go water skiing when I come back."

Cooper didn't seem convinced, and it marked the first time his older son didn't believe in him. Tears gathered to the boy's eyes despite visible resistance. "Let them fight. Stay home, please." And that, was the first time Cooper ever begged with him.

Forget about the previous hurt. Clint's heart shattered, right there, and he could barely keep his own tears at bay. "I wish I could stay, buddy. But they're family, too. And they need me."

"I need you!" Cooper countered with the venom only a child could muster, the tears finally falling.

"Hey." Clint kissed the top of his son's head. "Don't worry. I'll be back soon." He could only hope, from the bottom of his heart, that he'd be able to keep that promise. "Guess what? I'll bring Wanda with me."

Cooper's eyes brightened minusculely at that. For exactly four and a half seconds all was right in the world. Then the boy let go of his hand abruptly, like his skin had burned, and lay down on the bed. Back turned towards him in a loudly speaking manner. The gesture said all necessary.

Clint had never felt as painfully lot like the letdown his own father was as he did then, knowing that there were no words that'd comfort his son.

Nate was sleeping soundly when Clint approached his youngest. The father took some time to admire his son, to hammer into his thick skull just how much he had to fight for. To remind himself how much could be lost if Zemo unleashed the Winter Soldiers. Not for the first time he wished that he was the type that could stand by and watch others do the fighting.

He brushed Nate's clenched fist gently with his finger. The fist opened and tried to grab but failed. Nate huffed and yawned.

Clint swallowed thickly. "I know that I'm an idiot", he confessed. "But… How am I supposed to turn my back on friends who need me?" He grimaced, unaware of the tear that slipped. "Do… Do your mom, and yourself, a favor, and don't grow up to be like me. Be smarter. Do better at choosing. And…" He gulped again. It did nothing to erase the lump. "And try not to hate me. A lot. You… may be the only one of my kids who doesn't hate me, if this goes wrong."

Nate's eyes opened halfway, studied him thoughtfully. They were so much like his that it took Clint's breath away for a second. "I need you to believe me, because no one else may. So listen good." He was encouraged to go on when Nate stared at him, breathing hard. "You kids, and your mom… You mean more to me than anything else. Always have, always will. I… I wish I'd do better job at proving it."

Nate kept looking at him for a little while longer. Then, decision made, yawned and went back to sleep. Clint couldn't help wondering what his child's verdict was.

There, with no one who'd remember present, Clint gave himself the chance to break down, just a little bit.

Clint saved Lila for last because he had a feeling that seeing her would hurt the most. The moment his daughter saw his mission gear both their hearts shattered. In seconds tears pooled into Lila's eyes. "Daddy, you promised…!"

"I'm sorry", Clint whispered, his voice breaking. He wondered bitterly how many times he could repeat those words before they'd go empty. "But… This isn't like the other times. I'll be back soon. And then I won't go away again." Which one of them was he trying to convince?

Lila shook her head fiercely, the tears running freely by then. "I don't believe you. Last time was supposed to be the last time", she argued, sounding utterly heartbroken. He took a step closer but stopped when she hunched and shook her head even more vehemently. "NO! You… You don't wanna stay, not really. SO GO AWAY!"

Clint's eyes were stinging hellishly and welling up, too. "Of course I want to stay!" he insisted, desperate to make her believe him.

Lila threw the coloring pen she'd been using at him. It hitting hurt far less than her words. "GO AWAY! I HATE YOU!"

Even if Clint knew that she didn't really mean it, that she might regret her words soon, a tiny piece of him died right there.

Laura was doing the dishes when it was her turn. The closer Clint's hesitant steps got the more she tensed up. "The kids took the news as well as I did, huh?"

Clint's silence and the sadness radiating from him in waves answered for words. Laura was about to continue with something bitter and perhaps uncalled for. Instead she succumbed to a single sob that refused to be contained any longer.

"Hey." Clint's hand touched her shoulder but he pulled it away when she shuddered. (No matter how much she tried not to, the ache radiating from him made her feel guilty.) "I'll be back before you know it."

"And if you won't be, I'll hear it from the news, won't I?" Laura snapped. Her head was spinning, and this was all happening way too fast… "Barton, why are you throwing yourself into this mess?"

It took a second or two before Clint replied. "They're my mess, remember?"

"And the kids and I aren't?" Laura was so close to crossing a line that she felt it, as clearly as the tears filling her eyes all over again. "Why are you leaving us when I can feel that you don't want to?"

"Laura, I can't turn my back on them!" Clint sounded hurt, and frustrated. "I have to help them!"

"This isn't supposed to be your battle! Let them handle this!" Laura glared at the floor, determined to look past her clenched and trembling hands, and saw through blurry eyes that there was a tiny crack. Another project… "You…" She swallowed and hated herself for… losing it like this. But despite having somehow known that this was coming, just hours was nowhere near long enough to allow her to compose herself. "You promised…!" You weren't supposed to put me through this anymore!

"I know. And I'm sorry." He meant it, from the bottom of his heart. Realizing that didn't make her feel any better. He almost touched her again before changing his mind. "Like I said, I'll come back to you, like I always do. I made a promise once, remember?"

Laura couldn't process this, hadn't had the time to work through the vicious ache trying to swallow her. This was all the hurt she'd ever felt while they were together coming out. Was it any wonder that her mouth functioned before her brain caught on? "What if I don't want you to come back?" (She was done with goodbyes and broken promises!)

She felt Clint shudder like someone had shot him with a bullet. The moment her own words caught up with her Laura shuddered as well. She wanted to say that she was sorry, that she understood. She absolutely should've told him that she loved him and couldn't wait to see him again. But her tongue refused to function. And then it was too late. The front door closed and Clint's footsteps distanced before fading entirely.

The last thing he heard her say before leaving was questioning whether she even wanted him to return. And Laura would regret it for the rest of her life. Because this time Clint wasn't able to come back home.

End

A/N: Oh, man… Yup. That hurt a bit. Ouch! Can't blame Laura and the kids on being upset. But still. Ouch! Laura's ability to withstand the insanity failed at the worst moment.

SOOOOO… Everyone okay out there, after this emotional overload? Thoughts, comments? Was this a worthy final piece? PLEASE, do let me know!

THANK YOU, so much, for joining this emotional ride! (HUGS) Who knows. Maybe I'll see you around again someday.

Take care!

PrincessFirestar: I never get tired of hearing that, you know? (giggles and hugs) It means the world to me that you've enjoyed the tale thus far so much. We'll see what the last bit brings… (winces)

Daddy-Hawk is THE BEST! (gets all starry eyed)

Gigantic thank yous for the review! Until next time.