A/N: Guys, I know. I'm sorry! It's been…too long! You know what my hold up was for a while? Action scenes. I suck at action scenes. This isn't an action story, but with the nature of these characters and this universe, I needed at least one because it made sense, and that's the box I wrote myself into. I had thought about it and thought about it with no luck, and then personal stuff happened (changed jobs, moved, my grandma died), and I just never got back into it until now. But there's always hope that I'll return to things left undone! So if you're old fans of the story, I'm giving it another go! My sincerest apologies! I'm sure you'll guess where I got stuck. Honestly, I had a better idea two years later than I ever had when I started writing this chapter—TWO WHOLE YEARS AGO. Haha yeah… Again, I'm sorry.

Chapter Three: Impossible Promises

Despite my rocky return to the school, the other students did eventually accept my decision, though most of them didn't fully understand it. That was fine. They didn't have to understand. I was just glad to not be a total outcast. I'd had enough of living a life of virtual solitude, and I was over it.

Still, I kept my distance from Bobby most of the time. I said hi and sometimes made small talk, but it was awkward, so I usually avoided those interactions. I especially kept them short or nonexistent if Logan was around since he'd seemed to enter this overprotective mode where Bobby was concerned. It was weird because they'd gotten along well before I'd made the choice to take the cure. While Logan didn't treat Bobby poorly, it was clear by Logan's expression that Bobby was on thin ice with him after what he'd said to me that day.

"Are you ever gonna let it go?" I asked at one point.

"Probably not."

"He apologized."

"And?"

"And I forgave him."

"Well I didn't."

"He's just a boy, Logan."

"Exactly. And I'll treat him like one until he decides to grow a pair of balls and act like a man. A man doesn't treat a girl like shit for making her own decisions."

"I guess I can't argue with that. Still, I think he's learned his lesson."

"Yeah, we'll see."

While part of me wanted to hit Logan for being so stupid about the whole thing, the other part took a guilty pleasure in the idea that he was actually offended on my behalf—to the point that he was even harder on Bobby than he was on the other students. I guess I wasn't completely over it since I reveled in a sort of vicarious revenge.

Shooting hoops was pretty mindless and relaxing, and I decided to play a pick-up game of one-on-one with Colossus one afternoon. Tall as he was, he was hard to beat, but at least I was quick enough to get around him to make a few baskets.

When he left, I stuck around to practice my shots. Imagine my surprise when Logan walked onto the court.

"Not bad, kid."

I caught the ball and turned around to see him studying me with a smirk.

"Marie," I corrected for what felt like the hundredth time.

"Mind if I jump in?"

"You know how to play basketball?"

He shrugged. "Of course I know how to play."

I bounced the ball to him, and he caught it. I moved out of the way as he stepped forward to shoot. It hit the backboard and dropped to the ground, bouncing once before I caught it again.

"That was terrible."

Again, he shrugged. "I never said I was good at it."

"That's an understatement."

He tilted his head from side to side. "Alright. So tell me what I'm doing wrong."

I stared at him, not sure why he was there, or what he actually wanted. When I didn't respond or make a move, he lifted his brow like, "Well?"

"I-it's not that hard," I said, looking down at the ball and turning it in my hands. "Watch."

I turned toward the hoop, eyeballed it, and did a layup. The ball bounced on the rim and down into the net.

When I caught the ball again, I bounced it to him, and we took turns shooting. Eventually he started to get the hang of it.

Holding the ball in one hand, he said, "You're not a bad teacher."

I took it from him. "You're Wolverine. You can do anything."

He rolled his eyes with a disbelieving huff, and I followed him as he walked off the court.

"You know what I've never seen you do, though?"

"What's that?"

"Art."

He hesitated in his steps, giving me a funny look.

"Don't you remember? You told Bobby's parents you were a professor of art. I would have cracked up if it had been a good time."

"What, you want to see art?"

I gave a lopsided grin. "Yeah. Why not?"

We'd walked beneath a large maple tree, and Logan stopped to pick up a stick that'd fallen on the ground. He began to trace an obscene picture in the dirt.

"Logan!" I swiped my foot over it to destroy the image.

"Hey, I wasn't done!"

"Logan, this is a school!" I hissed.

"Yeah, and I was drawing Scott."

It was awful—just terrible—but I couldn't help but want to laugh. I bit my lip to hold it back and pushed the ball into Logan's chest before walking away in an attempt to hide my amusement.

And Logan thought Scott was the dick…

My lessons with Logan continued, and I figured that if he had little to say, I was doing something right. However, the time came when all the work I'd put into my training was called into question.

A band of delinquent mutants had gone from causing harmless mischief to using the backlash from authorities as justification for more violent actions. Storm, Logan, and our newest teacher and X-Man, Warren (otherwise known as Angel) decided it was time to step in and stop them.

I was suited up and ready to go, walking down the hall to meet the team at the hanger when I felt a large hand land on my shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

"What's it look like? I'm going to help."

"No, you're not."

I pushed Logan's hand away. "Yes I am. Otherwise, what was the point of all those lessons?"

"You're not going, and that's final," he said, striding toward the rest of the team.

"Storm!" I pled as she passed me to join them.

She looked at me with apologetic eyes, her tone a sincere attempt at reassurance. "I'm sorry, Rogue. Perhaps it's best if you sit this one out, okay?"

I wanted to protest, to say, no, it wasn't okay, but I was too stunned to form the words. Bobby, Kitty, and Jubilee shot me awkward, pitying looks, and I seethed as they disappeared behind the hanger doors.

But the anger quickly morphed into that familiar mire of loneliness that comes with being abandoned. So that's how it was going to be. I could stay at Xavier's school, but I couldn't be part of the X-Men. I had become an outcast, not valuable to them anymore without my powers.

I leaned back against the wall, trying to process the revelation. I had expected some unwanted comments from the younger members of the team, but if even Storm thought I didn't belong…

And Logan had been so quick to dismiss me.

I was worthless now. Worse, I was sure they saw me as a liability. What was it all for?

I didn't want to be drug down by the depressing realization, so I drew myself up and did the only logical thing: I trained harder.

X-X-X

Human or mutant, it didn't matter. Punks would be punks, thinking their rebelliousness was acceptable given whatever juvenile cause they swore by. I didn't understand what favor those damn teenagers thought they were doing for mutants, but it didn't matter. We shut them down fast. Storm offered them a place at the school, but they turned us down and ran off. Big surprise. Storm seemed to hold out hope that they'd come around, but I couldn't say I cared that much. As long as they didn't do anything else stupid to set back human-mutant relations, it didn't make any difference to me where they went.

I was walking down the hall from Storm's office (what used to be Chuck's office) when I saw Marie.

"Hey, kid," I said with a nod as she approached.

"What was that?" she demanded, pushing me away with one hand.

"Hey, take it easy," I snapped. "Alright? What's your problem?"

"You pushed me aside like I was nothing! I don't remember revoking my membership as an X-Man!"

Oh. That.

"Wha-what, you want me to just let you out there so you can get killed?" I shot back.

"I want you to have faith that I won't!"

"Faith," I spat. "Yeah, that's worked out well so far."

"So that's it then, huh? You don't believe in me either. I'm not worth anything without my powers. You've just been lying to me this whole time."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You think I'm useless!"

"Stop it!"

"Why did you waste your time training me, then, if I clearly mean nothing now?"

Is that really what she thought? That she meant nothing? What kind of stupid shit was she spouting? It was quickly getting under my skin and making my blood boil. I felt my fists shake with anger. I opened my mouth to say something, but restrained myself. We couldn't have this conversation there where anyone could hear. I took a quick look around before I grabbed her by the arm and led her down the hall to a side door that led out to the veranda. Once we were out of earshot of others, I turned on her. "That's what you think, huh? That you mean nothing?"

"How else am I supposed to interpret that?"

I grasped her upper arms, trying to keep my temper in check.

"I don't ever want to hear you talk like that again, you understand me?"

"Not that long ago, you were going on about Bobby making me feel like crap because of my decision to take the cure. Yet, here you are, telling me what I can and can't do because I chose to get rid of my powers. Do you know what I thought? How that made me feel?"

Like the observant predator that I was, I could see the hurt and the pain of rejection and betrayal behind the anger she tried to use as a weapon. Little did she know that it was what she tried to hide from me that cut the deepest.

I let her go, turned away, and scrubbed my hands across my face. I thought she understood how much she meant to me. Fuck, she was all I had left. She meant everything to me. Seeing her suited up like old times put the fear of God into me, and all I could do was try not to imagine her being gutted on a mission. I wouldn't be able to save her again. I was relieved when Storm was in agreement that Marie needed to stay.

But was it a mistake? Now she was pissed at me—and I felt like a fucking jackass for making her feel like shit. I wasn't any better than that Drake kid.

The memory returned of Marie impaled on my claws.

"You're not untouchable anymore, Marie!"

"I know! And that's the way I wanted it."

I raked my fingers through my hair. "For fuck's sake, I can't protect you anymore!"

"It's not your job to protect me, Logan. I thought we'd already discussed this."

I gripped the banister, unable to look at her as I tried not to think of all the ways in which she could die. No, she couldn't understand. I couldn't expect her to understand. To comprehend what it's like to be invincible and to know that everyone you love will eventually meet their end while you carry the memories of their deaths with you. To try to prevent them, but to know that all your efforts will end in vain.

She didn't know how much it haunted me that her untimely death was inevitable. To let her go, I'd only be inviting it to come sooner. I wasn't recovering well from Jean's and Charles's deaths, and I wasn't ready to add another.

"Before I left, you said something important to me," she said, and I hadn't expected the quieter tone. "You said you weren't my father; you were my friend. Please don't change that now. I don't need you to protect me. I need to you support me."

I heard her loud and clear, and I knew I wasn't being fair, but I needed her alive.

"Please, Logan. Don't shut me out now."

I gripped the banister until my knuckles were white before I faced her again. "Fine. Fine! You want to put yourself out there? Go for it. But I'm going to make sure you're ready for real."

"Meaning?"

"Danger Room, tomorrow morning. Be there."

That's all I could say before I brushed past her, still fighting a war inside my head and trying to make it as bloodless as possible.

She was right. I wasn't her father. I didn't want to be. Whatever she wanted—whatever would make her feel good about herself—I was in her corner all the way, except when it came to her safety.

For months, she'd been training, practicing, getting better. Hell, the truth was that she was a better fighter now than she had ever been with her powers. But with her powers, she was untouchable—almost as invincible as me. Not anymore she wasn't.

I guess it did all come down to faith, which was something I never had much of. What would Charles do? Would he let her go?

I wanted to think he wouldn't, but I knew he would, even if it was with some hesitation. Barring whatever stance he might have had on this particular issue, one thing was certain: Charles had always had faith.

'And where did that get him?' was my next traitorous thought.

I couldn't think about that. The simple fact was that I couldn't be a hypocrite. I had to let Marie make her own choices, and I had to accept whatever decisions she made—no matter the outcome—because I was her friend.

Damned if that meant I was going to go easy on her, though.

X-X-X

I had no qualms about walking into the Danger Room, head held high despite the looks on the faces of my classmates. Bobby did a double-take: Jubilee looked confused: Colossus looked curious: and Kitty looked downright nervous. I saw her eyes flicker to Bobby briefly, who was now staring at me with a slightly slack jaw.

"Marie," he breathed.

"What are you doing here?" asked Jubilee, her head tilted to the left.

"The same as all of you. I'm here for training."

Bobby looked back and forth between me and the others. "B-but you're not—"

"I don't have my powers anymore. I know that. That doesn't mean I can't contribute to the team."

Kitty still looked uncomfortable. "How… I mean… I don't want to sound like a jerk, but—"

"Don't worry about me," I said, shutting her down. "I'll be able to keep up just fine."

Jubilee shrugged. "You have been training with Logan, so I guess it's only fair. Welcome back," she said with a grin.

"Yeah, good to have you back on the team," said Colossus.

I didn't want to admit that I wasn't actually on the team, and that this Danger Room session would essentially be my test. I could only hope that if I passed it, Logan wouldn't change his mind.

He barely looked at me when he finally joined us, and when he did, I could read nothing in those eyes, hard as steel. I made sure my pride shown in mine, though. He was going to see it, and he was going to have to admit that I wasn't a helpless kid that needed to be sheltered and protected.

Logan wasn't going to hold me hostage because he couldn't get over the deaths of Jean and the Professor.

I noticed how Bobby kept glancing at me, and then at Logan, but I didn't care to guess what he might have been assuming. I was focused only on what was coming, and proving my worth as part of the X-Men.

When Logan started the program, the stage was set with gun turrets on the other end of the room. In between us and them, there were sure to be multiple traps, and I was grateful that I'd gained a lot of coordination because I was going to need it to doge everything that was about to be thrown at me.

"Your primary objective is to destroy all six of those turrets, if you can reach them. You'll have fifteen minutes."

"Fifteen? That's five more than we'll need, Teach," said Jubilee.

"Hey, don't get cocky. Shut your yap and concentrate."

"But it hasn't—"

"Start program."

The power up sound of the turrets got everyone's attention, and I quickly dodged the first round of bullets. Colossus changed to his metallic form, resistant to their damage, and Kitty was able to phase through them. Jubilee was able to meet fire with fire, and Bobby skated around the room with his ice powers.

As I ran diagonally, the turret turned to follow. Pillars shot out from the walls and the floor to block my path, but I was able to use them to climb higher than the turrets could reach. I didn't quite make the last jump, and my fingers slipped off the ledge.

I gave a startled yell, but Bobby caught me, helping me to the top.

"Marie, are you okay?"

"I'm fine Bobby. Thanks for the save."

"Are you sure you should be in here? You could get hurt."

"Bobby!" I snapped. "I don't need you to worry about me. I need you on my team."

"But—"

"If you can't do that, then do me a favor and let me fail on my own."

"That's not what I—"

Another gun flipped down from the ceiling.

"We don't have time for this! Are you with me or not?"

He sighed. "Of course I'm with you. Let's go."

I grabbed onto him as he created a bridge of ice to evade the new gunfire.

"Take me down to one of the turrets."

"Are you crazy?"

"Bobby! Just do it!"

He didn't protest anymore, taking us dangerously close to the guns. I leapt off the ice, landing on top of one of the turrets before jumping across to the next one. The gun in the ceiling took out the first one, and it was only with Kitty's help that I was able to evade the blast of the second one being destroyed.

While Colossus had made it to another turret and strong-armed the gun from the mount, Jubilee destroyed the gun in the ceiling. It was quickly replaced by four metal monsters that rolled in from different directions. They each had two mechanical arms with blades attached, and they were quick.

One for each of us meant that the opportunity for teamwork had been interrupted. All I could do was dodge mine, and I came way too close to getting carved to pieces more than once. I used the terrain to hide, to jump, to evade until I could come up with another plan.

Then it hit me. The turrets wouldn't fire if it meant destroying what was supposed to be defending them. If I could just hold out until one or two of the others had dealt with theirs, then maybe…

Colossus predictably destroyed one of them with metal fists. Jubilee was the second to succeed by short-circuiting the mechanical elements in hers. Bobby was in the process of freezing a third, and the turrets started firing back at the others on my team.

I let the machine I was facing force me backward. I focused on each step, each movement, refusing to let anything break my concentration even as Jubilee intercepted flying disks that aimed straight for my head. I'd just stepped in range of one of the three remaining turrets, and leapt away without hesitation. The machine followed me right into the line of fire, and Colossus was there to shield me from the blast.

"Nice one, Rogue."

My mutant name. On the heel of a compliment, no less. The smile on his face told me he wasn't being sarcastic. Was it possible I did still belong there?

"Thanks," I said. "And thanks for helping me, too."

"Hey, no 'I' in 'team', right?"

Although I didn't have time to enjoy it, I felt genuine relief that someone was willing to seeing me as a teammate without me having to beg for the privilege. I could only return his smile.

"We have three left. I have a plan. You in?" he asked.

I nodded.

Picking up a large piece of shrapnel, I took Kitty's hand as she led me through the gunfire to the turret on the far left. Bobby took Jubilee on his ice trail to target the one on the right, while Colossus charged straight for the one in the center to dismantle it the way he'd done to the one earlier.

Bobby was able to get Jubilee close enough to theirs so she could send a fireworks straight into the barrel between shots. Using the same concept, Kitty and I leapt up onto ours, which stopped the motion-activated attacks so that I could shove the shrapnel into the barrel. We jumped off, Kitty phasing us through the exploded bits of the turret.

The simulation faded away as we met up in the center of the room to exchange high-fives.

"Good plan, Colossus," said Jubilee. "Very efficient."

"That was incredible, Rogue," said Kitty cheerfully. "I didn't know you had it in you! I mean, no offense, but I was kind of worried."

"It's ok, I understand," I said.

"I had faith in her," said Colossus. "Even if he didn't."

"Hey, I had faith in her," said Bobby.

"Psh, yeah right," said Jubilee. "That's why you looked like you'd seen a ghost when she came in here."

"Well it's not Bobby who's giving out grades," I said, catching sight of Logan as he walked toward us. Somehow he looked more agitated than usual. My heartrate had started to slow, but it picked up again at the reminder that this had been more a test for me than for the others.

"Guess you made it, with two minutes to spare."

"Aw sheesh. Your watch must be fast, Teach."

"Don't get smart with me. I said you made it, what more do you want?"

"We had a few MVPs today, right Rogue?" she said, nudging me with a wink. "Not bad for a non-mutie."

"Thanks," I laughed. "I think."

Logan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, you all pass. Colossus, I think Storm would agree you're on your way to leading your own team—but don't let it get to your head, got it?"

"Yes, sir."

"Alright, get out of here, all of you. Next session's in three days. I expect you to do better."

While the others headed for the door, I stood my ground in front of Logan, who had yet to look at me directly. Jubilee and Kitty turned around, as if to invite me to go with them, but they must've seen I had unfinished business to take care of, so they left without a word.

I propped my hands on my hips. "Well? Aren't you going to say anything?"

"I already said what I had to say."

"What, that we passed? Or did you just mean them?"

"You passed, alright?" he shouted.

"But you're not happy for me," I shot back.

"Hey, don't think I didn't see how many times they had to save your ass."

"It's called teamwork, Logan! None of us could have done it on our own! I held my own just like they did!"

"But you're not them!"

"They disagree! Didn't you see their faces when I walked in here? They were skeptical, too, but even Bobby accepted me back on the team! It's you who has the problem! Not them; not me; you!"

He didn't respond, choosing to look anywhere but at me. I felt frustrated and angry, but mostly I just desperately wanted his acknowledgement. Real acknowledgement. He was shutting down on me, and I didn't know why. He was scaring me, and I couldn't stand the thought of him pulling away and retreating to his usual solitude. I didn't want him to shut me out.

"Talk to me, Logan…"

He turned away, and my heart dropped into my stomach.

"Go get changed and meet me in the garage."

"Where are we going?"

"Just do it," he said as he stormed through the door.

I didn't know what that meant, good or bad, but at least he wasn't shutting me out. Without hesitation, I followed, heading upstairs to my room to change.

x-X-x

Three cigars. Chuck's rule be damned, that's how many I needed as I kept my eyes mostly on Marie. She'd gained balance and coordination. She'd gained speed and efficiency. She'd gained a hell of a lot in last several months, but it wasn't enough. She nearly bit it right off the bat, and the Ice Prick had to save her. I wanted to hack the arms off that robot myself when she didn't have the means to even attack it. And if it hadn't been for Colossus and Pride, she would've been hit by the explosions she'd caused.

While it was called the Danger Room, the risk of serious harm was easily controlled. I could have stopped the program at any time. But my brain kept reminding me that not all fights were controlled, and under any other circumstances, she would have been in real danger. Through that lens, her narrow escapes were like something from my nightmares.

I was proud of her, of how far she'd come. That was my Marie, having finally found her courage in the absence of her powers; fighting alongside her classmates; finally finding her place among a team. I was so proud—

—but so fucking terrified.

The images came regardless of whether or not I wanted them to.

Marie, falling into gunfire, her body convulsing as it was riddled with bullet holes.

Marie, blown apart, with shrapnel imbedded in the dismembered parts of her body, her disfigured head rolling across the floor.

Marie, sliced nearly in half, lying on the ground in a pool of blood, retching as she tried to suck in a breath only to choke on her own bodily fluids.

Those made up scenes cycled through my mind along with the memories of her impaled on my claws; of her lifeless form after Magneto had almost killed her; and the deaths of both Charles and Jean. The anger, horror, and pain came right along with them.

I'd rather have died than to have Charles and Jean taken, and I'd damn sure lay my life on the line for Marie.

Marie, who'd never been a fighter until I'd forced her to become one. Isn't this what I'd wanted? For her to be able to protect herself when I inevitably couldn't? To take away the burden I feared carrying because I knew the tragedy that seemed to follow me like a fucking plague?

Watching the Danger Room session, I didn't even know what the hell I wanted anymore.

She didn't get it, and how could I expect her to? I couldn't look her in the eye. I didn't want to see how much she needed my approval. I could hear—feel—the desperation that hid beneath the anger of her indignation. But the images still came, and I couldn't force deeper breaths to relieve the tension brought on by the adrenaline coursing through my veins.

"Talk to me, Logan," she begged, and her words were as soft as her gentle fingertips had been against my skin.

I needed air—I needed out of that room before I said something I would regret.

"Go get changed and meet me in the garage."

"Where are we going?"

"Just do it."

I stood outside as I waited, and gave in to the pull for another cigar. Even with the sun and the warm breeze hitting my face, I still felt caged, and I knew it was my own doing. The images wouldn't stop. The stuffy mansion was too stale, too stifling for me to put my attention on anything else. She was taking so goddamn long, I thought about leaving without her and coming back when I had a clear head.

But I couldn't do that to her. The thought of her hurt, disappointed, and tear-stained face when she realized I'd left without her was enough to shatter what was left of the heart I almost forgot I even had.

I heard her quick footsteps as she hurried down the hall and into the garage.

"I'm ready."

She didn't say a word as we climbed onto the bike, and I finally found relief in the speed and power of the machine beneath me as we left the mansion behind. The rumble of the engine drowned out the unwanted images and the phantom screams of a dying Marie, and I concentrated on the feel of her arms around me.

She was safe. She was whole. She was alive.

I drove for an hour before I felt like I could stop running. We were in the middle of nowhere, nothing but woodlands on both sides of us. In the late-afternoon light, it seemed like a peaceful place to just breathe as I switched off the engine. For several minutes, I just sat there, breathing and listening and feeling.

All around us, birds chirped, cicadas whirred, and small animals scurried across the forest floor. There was a woodpecker off to the left. I could hear the distant hooves of deer, and the clucking of a family of turkeys. The bubbling sound of water told me there was a creek not far from the road.

It smelled like earth, pine, and crisp leaves. There was the slightest moisture in the air, and the ground beneath my boots was soft, but solid where I'd parked on the side of the road. She kept her arms around me for several long moments, loosening them slowly as if uncertain.

I'd never felt weightless, but at least I felt lighter.

"Logan?"

"I'm sorry, kid."

"Marie."

"Marie, I know." Of course I fucking knew. "I said I'm sorry, alright?"

As the silence grew, the guilt finally settle in as I realized what a jackass I'd been. I felt my shoulders drop.

"C'mon," I said, and she climbed off the bike so I could get off.

x-X-x

That ride was different than the others. Usually, our rides were comfortable, or even exciting. This time, nervousness ate at the pit of my stomach. I wasn't afraid of Logan, or the bike. I didn't think he was going to drive us off a cliff or anything. I felt safe, just like I always did with him. I was more afraid for our relationship, and I prayed I hadn't broken it. Reason told me I was being ridiculous. If I'd broken it, he would have left me behind. I tried to take comfort in the fact that he obviously wanted me with him, but I was still scared by the way he was acting.

It was a long ride, so I tried my best to lay my head against him and relax as we sped away from the city. It was difficult because I could feel the tension in Logan's body as I held tight to him. I didn't expect it when he pulled to the side and shut off the bike. I lifted my head, but Logan didn't move. He didn't say anything at all; he just sat there, and I felt the circle of my arms expand with each of his slow, deep breaths.

I glanced around at the forest. It was quiet. I couldn't even hear any cars in the distance. I waited for Logan to say something—anything—but he was still strangely quiet. I noticed a shift in him, though. He didn't seem quite as tense and agitated as he had earlier. The silence still bothered me, though, and I had to say something.

"Logan?"

I watched his shoulders rise and fall as he let out an audible breath. "I'm sorry, kid."

"Marie."

"Marie, I know," he said, sounding exasperated at my continued correction. "I said I'm sorry, alright?"

I didn't know what to say, and I don't think he did either.

"C'mon," he finally said, and I took the hint and got off the bike. He started to walk off into the woods, so I hung the helmet and followed.

"Where are we?" I asked when he offered no explanation.

"I don't know" was the only answer I got, so I just kept my mouth shut. Maybe I'd said too much already.

As we walked through the woods, I tried to keep my eyes on anything but Logan with only partial success. The longer he went without talking to me, the more I felt like I shouldn't be there. A walk in the woods was apparently something he needed to regain a level head, and I felt like I was intruding on his quiet time.

We came to a creek, and I continued to follow him as we walked along the bank. I watched little frogs and crawdads swim by, and we even passed a snake that rippled through the water in the opposite direction. I'd lagged behind a ways, having finally focused my attention on our surroundings and realizing why Logan found the woods to be a calming place.

When I looked forward again, Logan had stopped to lean against a boulder that stuck out of the hillside. I stopped walking, not wanting to bother him and feeling strangely like a child about to be scolded for interrupting something that wasn't my business.

"Are you going to come sit down or what?" he asked, which startled me. Why was I so jumpy? I hadn't done anything wrong.

Slowly, I joined him by the rock and hopped up onto it to sit. There was more silence, and it was killing me. I didn't mind the quiet, but not knowing what Logan was thinking or feeling did nothing to relieve my nervousness.

"Are you going to talk to me?" I finally said when I couldn't stand it anymore. "I feel like I shouldn't be here…"

"What are you talking about? I asked you to come, didn't I?"

"Then say something. Tell me what's on your mind, because you're freaking me out."

He let out another breath through his nose, and I could see something akin to guilt in his eyes even though he wasn't looking at me. He seemed so tired.

x-X-x

"I shouldn't have promised to take care of you, but I did."

"Logan, that was… a long time ago. I don't expect you to keep it anymore. I'm not the kid I used to be."

No, she wasn't, no matter how much I kept trying to deny it for some god-forsaken reason.

"I know that, but you're still Marie."

"…What does that even mean?"

I wanted to explain, because I wanted her to understand. Problem was, I didn't know how. Saying the words out loud would make them too real, as well as the possibility that she would be taken from me in the next breath. She was already doomed by the importance I'd been dumb enough to give her presence in my life, and by that goddamn promise.

I shook my head. "Forget it."

"No, I won't."

I loved and hated her stubbornness. I didn't want to continue to argue with her, so I didn't.

She sighed and looked away from me, and I thought that would be the end of it.

"I get it," she said after a while.

Somehow I doubted it, but I kept my mouth shut.

"You're afraid something's going to happen to me, like it did to Jean and the Professor."

True, but she didn't know it went deeper than that. Far deeper.

"I'm sorry, Logan. I miss them too. I know it's harder for you, though. I know how much you loved Jean. I saw it… I always saw it."

Fuck's sake, I definitely didn't want to talk about Jean.

"You're my best friend. The thought of losing you scares me. I don't want to push you away, but I need to be me. I can't live my life around my fear or yours. I took that cure to get my life back, and now that I have it, I'm not going to sacrifice my freedom for anything. I shouldn't have to.

"I know you understand that better than anyone. That's why you take these bike rides. That's why you come and go as you please, and you've never owed anyone an explanation. No matter how much it hurt me each time you rode away and left me behind, I never demanded that you stayed, because I knew that's what you needed."

I could hear the lump in her throat as she continued.

"Even if you decided you wanted to leave and never come back, I'd let you go. Anything else wouldn't be fair."

I shook my head again, turning to face her fully for the first time. "No, no, stop. Listen, I'm not going to leave you behind, got it?"

"I was just saying—"

"No, I'm saying, you're the only thing keeping me at that goddamn school, so I ain't leaving unless you want me to."

She looked at me with those wide, doe eyes, and I realized this was new information for her.

Shit. I said more than I should have. Oh well. Fuck it. I couldn't take it back now. I leaned on my hands beside her.

"You're right, ok? You're right. I can't… I can't stop you from living your life. I don't want to. But, Marie, if anything happens to you—"

I shook my head again and looked away.

"Do you know what it felt like? To be part of a team again? To be better than I ever was even with my powers? Ever since I came back, you've been on my side, in my corner, every step of the way. You believed in me when no one else did, and as afraid of training with you as I was at first, you challenged me to be stronger.

"And now? Logan, didn't you see? Bobby, Kitty, Colossus, Jubilee—they actually thought I was good enough to be on their team. I got real compliments from them today. For the first time in months, I didn't feel useless. For the first time ever, I actually had something to contribute."

God, I was such a dick. To hear the pride, hope, and joy in her voice just then made me feel like a selfish piece of shit. Because of my fear, I'd made this entire situation about me. I didn't want my Marie to feel useless and alone. She wasn't like me. She couldn't survive a life of hopeless solitude—and I didn't want that kind of life for her.

I felt her hand on my shoulder as she leaned forward.

"I don't want to hurt you, Logan," she said, and her voice was too sweet on my ears. She didn't understand that it was me who would hurt her, just by being in her life. I wasn't about to burden her with that knowledge, not that she would believe me anyway.

My attention was drawn back to Marie when I felt those gentle fingers brush against the top of my closed hand. I watched them move over my knuckles, and then between them, soothing the itch of the claws beneath my skin. I unfolded my hand, letting her hold it in her much smaller one, and I didn't have to fight away the images anymore. They disappeared, replaced by the beautiful simplicity of a touch.

"Are we okay?" she said, and I looked up into her face.

I nodded. "Yeah. We're fine, kid." I saw her lips begin to form a protest. "Marie," I corrected. "Come here."

It was good to see her smile before she accepted a rare hug. I couldn't worry about what inevitable tragedy waited for her tomorrow, or the next day, or maybe even years from now. She would be gone long before me. It was just a question of when. I couldn't waste whatever time I had with her by creating a rift between us.

That girl meant so much to me, and she'd shown great courage in taking her life back. Reflecting on the Danger Room session, I was happy for her, that she was regaining her place among the X-Men. It didn't matter how much my heart broke as I grew more attached, waiting for the day she would eventually be ripped from this earth. In spite of all that, I would make sure she had a life worth living, even if it killed me—and I'd be damned if I'd be the one to stand in her way.