-Unbetaed add not a native speaker so please kindly point out any mistakes
-Warning: language, bad humor

A portal started to appear in the middle of the Avengers' common room as requested by Tony. It must be his paranoia talking but he wouldn't let people, even Wong, to open a portal into his private rooms or workshops. He knew that none of the Avengers were around at this time so it was safe to open a portal here.

He could see Wong on the other side of the portal. He looked stoic as usual but Tony could see the taut lines of his shoulders like he had been super stressed. Tony couldn't blame him. If Stephen were anything like him— who was he kidding, Stephen was like him or even more in term of stubbornness, he could be a handful especially when he was injured.

"What're you doing? Why did you open a portal to… is that Avengers's common room?" The voice from behind Wong sounded annoyed. "Wong, you betrayed me. I'm not sharing my lunch with you for at least one week."

Tony shook his head and allowed himself a little smile. Stephen couldn't get hurt too much if he was back being an asshole. He did miss the sweet Stephen. He carried his gift and stepped through the portal.

Wong opened his arms wide and gestured toward the bed. "He's all yours."

"I'm my own person, you can't pass me around like a property."

"He's more bitchy than usual since he woke up and has to have bed rest. Like I said, all yours." Wong quickly exited the room. Even the Cloak followed Wong out.

"I'm right here. Don't talk about me right in front me. I'm not bitchy. I just have strong opinions about everything." Stephen talked to the closing door. He glanced at Tony and turned his body away facing the wall immediately.

"Nice to see you too, asshole. Or should I say Evita Peron with I'm my own woman thing?"

Stephen didn't reply.

It was really hard for Tony to be the bigger man but between two of them, someone had to. Besides, Stephen had the excuse of being injured. He also missed their usual banter. "Stephen, could you please turn around and face me? I'm not angry anymore. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't furious before. But I've been thinking for the last few days, I understand your position. You feel guilty as you feel like I'm your responsibility. I also feel the same for people around me who I consider my family or my friend."

Stephen slowly turned to face him. He had always been pale but the loss of blood made him almost look like a vampire. Tony also noticed that he wasn't wearing any shirt and there were far too many bandages across his body.

"Shit, how many times have you been stabbed?"

"17 times."

"Couldn't you like duck after the first time? Did they teach you to duck at Hogwarts?"

"Let's see if you'd fare any better, douchebag. They were a lot of them and they managed to hold me down using their collective magic. Some slime and tentacles were involved." It seemed like he just bit a lemon at the last part. "I managed to break free a minute later but it was too late."

"What happened to them?"

"I opened a very big portal and let them fall through."

"Where did you sent them?"

"Dicko Dimension. It's like Disneyland but uninhabited and harmless with plenty of food. I'm sure they'll hate it."

"I don't know why people would hate Disneyland." He imagined the overpriced hotdogs, the screaming kids, the endless queues. "OK, I actually could see why. That's super evil of you."

"Yes, yes, I'm the pinnacle of evil." A small transparent basset-hound chose that moment to walk through the wall, jump to the bed, sniff and lick Stephen's face, and lay down next to the injured sorcerer.

Tony pointed at could-be-a-dog. "Is that… a d-.. a ghost dog?"

Stephen patted the head of possibly-a-dog. "Yes, of course. Try to keep up. His name is Bats." Bats seemed to enjoy the pat as he closed his eyes and nuzzled closer to Stephen.

"Is that even a thing? How could there be a ghost dog? I thought only humans could turn into ghosts."

"That's very speciesist of you."

Tony blinked his eyes. "Did your dog just talk?"

"The name is Bats. I can speak for myself. Who is this weirdo anyway?"

Tony pointed at Stephen, Bats, then himself. "He's the one with the talking ghost dog and you're a freaking talking ghost dog. How am I the weirdo?" Tony thought Bats' protest was not dissimilar to the tantrum Stephen threw earlier. They did deserve each other.

Bats and Stephen looked at each other for a few seconds. Tony wasn't sure if they communicated telepathically. At this stage, it was not beyond the realms of possibility. He totally blamed Stephen for getting his life stranger.

Stephen relented. "Bats, this's Tony. He's a fr-…friend." He tried out the word and felt it fitted. He smiled. "He's my friend. He saved me and has helped me the last few weeks. Tony, this's Bats. He's a ghost dog that Wong got for me so I won't be too cranky during my bedr est."

"Can't you just get a normal living dog like a normal people?" He quickly covered his mouth as he realized what he just said.

Bats huffed. "You're not only against non-humans, but also ghosts. I'm done talking to you." He turned to Stephen. "He's your friend. You deal with him. I'm going to drink from that toilet bowl again. I know it's disgusting but like your saying you can't teach an old dog new tricks or some crap like that." He jumped out of the bed, stared at Tony for a few frightening seconds—he felt like he had been judged by a dog and found wanting— and walked through the wall again.

"I got judged by your dog. That was fun. Your cloak hates me and now your dog also hates me."

"Oh yeah, sorry about that. Bats could be a handful but his heart is at the right place. Well, metaphorical heart anyway. Although the metaphor doesn't really involve the real physical heart anyway. Sorry for the ramble. They don't hate you. They just have strong opinions about things."

"Just like you then."

Stephen crinkled his eyes as he smiled. "Yup. Besides, you're an acquired taste. I'm sure they'll love you once they know you better."

"So do you love me?"

"What?!"

"Since you said I'm an acquired taste but people will love me once they know me better."

Stephen's face pinkened slightly which was an improvement from being a vampire. "I didn't say people. I was referring to non-humans like the Cloak and Bats."

"So you don't love me. I'm hurt." Tony put his hands over his physical heart. "At least Wong seems to love me."

"Wong loves free lunch. You're his free meal tickets. "

There was a yell from two floors above that couldn't possibly be heard in normal world but anything was apparently possible here. "I resent that statement. I do love Stark. He's a better company than you."

"Wong, you traitor. Why are you snooping around to hear our conversation anyway?"

"I wasn't. I just put a spell that only gets trigger when and only when my name is mentioned. I know you like to badmouth me so I want to know what you said about me."

"I'd never badmouth you. Who do you think I'm?"

Tony looked at Stephen. "You seem to have a lover's spat. Perhaps I should come back another time."

Stephen tried to get up but ended up drenched with cold sweat. "Please don't go." Tony quickly sat on the bed and pushed the sorcerer down before he popped his stiches or something worse.

The voice from above also said, "Stark, please don't go. I've been dealing with him for half a day and I need my vacation. I'll turn the spell off now."

Stephen looked at Tony and for the first time he looked hesitant. "You were the one saying people around me who I consider my family or my friend. Do you really mean it?"

"Yes, of course. We're friends, aren't we? I mean I get along with you much better than most of the Avengers, except perhaps Bruce. You hold your own against me which sometime could be annoying but makes life more interesting. I'm honestly looking forward for our banter. You're a great sounding board. Besides, both of us have awesome facial hair. Well, one of us anyway." He looked at Stephen properly and was glad that Stephen didn't try to shave his newly grown beard anymore, but it was still super short given it had only been around a week since he regained his memory.

"I don't usually have friends— mostly just colleagues or people who put up with me. I realize I'm not a people person. I'm glad that Christine and Wong have stuck with me this far. They're saints."

"Yes, I'm." Wong said from above.

"Would you mind turning that spell off for real this time?" Stephen felt silly staring at the ceiling although he was 50% sure Wong couldn't see him from above.

"Fine. At least you don't badmouth me."

Stephen was about to raise his shaking right hand to gesture before deciding to put it down. "I'd never badmouth me." He looked at Tony again. "Where was I? Of yes, I'm a terrible friend material. Thank you for putting up with me so far."

Tony couldn't believe what he just heard. "Are you serious? I know self-hatred when I see one. I thought I'm the expert but you're the master. I had a great time in the last few weeks when I spent time with you. I haven't had that since a while— not since the Avengers' party at the Avengers Tower before Ultron decided to end humanity."

"But that wasn't the real me you spent time with."

"Really? I thought that was the real you. This you, this asshole you, is a persona you put on to keep people at arm's length. I know it because I've been doing that my whole life too. When you lost your memory, the real you shone through. I'm sure John Locke or Sigmund Freud or Aristotle might not agree with me. I don't know. I'm neither a psychologist nor a philosopher. I just believe in what I see. The sad thing is I still like the current asshole you."

"Would you believe that the feeling is mutual?"

"I certainly hope so. So, you do love me." Tony spoke in a singsong.

"Are you five? Love is a strong word. I'll settle with like. I thought you hated me and wanted to punch me; first because I gave away the time stone and left a cryptic message on Titan before dying and second when I left you as soon as I dealt with Mordo last week."

"Well, I was angry, no, I was furious. I'm not anymore but I want answers. That's the reason we need to talk."

Notes:

-Yes, yes, I know, this chapter is supposed to be the last and Bats wormed his way into this story. Hopefully they would have a proper chat next chapter and that's the end of the story. Crossing my fingers and toes.
-There was a concept art that Stephen and Tony switched costume in Infinity War but the idea was scraped. youtube dot com/watch?v=rPtarhg_o0E
-Apparently Tony and Stephen argued for around 3 minutes in Infinity War as shown here: youtube dot com/watch?v=39P2kG1pF_k
Given Stephen only had around 11 minutes screen time so more than 25% was spent on arguing with Tony.

-There is an analysis for Stephen and Tony's interaction in Infinity War here. The initial question was whether Stephen easily hold grudges.
i-sudoku dot tumblr dot com/post/188828134493/do-you-think-strange-holds-grudge-easily