AN: Mostly self-indulgent fic, that I have no strength turning into a proper story format. You are warned.
It's a suprise that Ian still works for his employers, considering for how much bad memories he has to blame them for. His brother falling further and further away from him, until his work caught up not only to his and his wife sanity but also their life. Ian's inability to make contacts with normal people. Coming back to an empty big house that smells of dust and loneliness.
Coming back to a house that smells of blood and death, the rotten body of his housekeeper staining the place he calls home. Not a even trace left from his four-year old nephew.
He blames himself, for not agreeing for more protection (the boy was a son of a man with many enemies after all), for thinking that anonymity will be enough, for thinking he himself is enough.
x
Yassen might have been a spectre to many, a ghost, but his face is familiar to all who are serious about staying alive in this type of work.
It's especially familiar for Ian. A legacy of his brother. He wonders if John ended in hell because if this man, of the monster he helped to create. It never crosses Ian's mind that some of his actions he did on his missions might have created orphans, people backed into corners, teenagers filled with hate too.
Three steps. That's the distance the boy kept always behind the assassin. Ian's first thought was that the teenager was kept on a tight leash, never staying out of his mentor sight, following him like a puppy. Then he sees him arguing with Sayle, giving him orders, sees the way Nadia Vole keeps a respectful distance. They handle Yassen as an equal, but of the boy, they are afraid.
x
One of the men drops one of the boxes and immediately freezes and starts to apologize profusely.
"We all make mistakes", was what Gregorovich had said. Ian saw the guard relax and then forever freeze in this expression as a gunshot echoed through the clearing, smoke curling away from the gun in the boy's hand.
x
Dead man walking.
That's how the boy looked. Dark bags under his eyes, the way he observed the world with detachment, the pure disinterest. He held himself like a royal, someone who knew power.
The child was repeatedly broken into small pieces and then built back together, there was no doubt about it. There was no doubt that the boy was utterly devoted, immoral and trained. Oh, Ian knew for sure, moulded from the time he could walk to the path of an operative, assassin, madman. A child soldier now, an unstable adult possibly later. Who knows what his employer's plans for future were.
x
He called him Alex. But that is impossible because his nephew is dead, he was-
Kidnapped at the age of four, leaving behind a dead body of a housekeeper, her death the work of a professional. No letter left behind, no traces, no ransom in the next days. Nothing else stolen expect one little boy.
Deep inside, Ian always knew who he is meant to blame. But that thought was dangerous, so he rather proclaimed Alex dead in his mind.
x
He somehow managed to escape, leaving the complex behind, but the assassin and his boy definitely following. Ian repeatedly checked the car's mirror, making sure there weren't any suspicious cars.
The sound of a helicopter caught him by surprise. It was coming from ahead of him, the black speck on the horizon slowly turning into a roaring helicopter. There was no way he could escape, only turn back and that wasn't an option.
x
"I am not my brother".
The assassin seemed to pause at that.
"No, you aren't. Your brother was a better man."
x
They send that boy in, in the end, that winner of the competition, Felix, even though they know what awaits him. They give him a gadget and promise of adventure. They don't tell him that a boy his age will put a bullet inside his head.
x
"I heard you were my uncle. Do you think you can help out your own family for once?"
x
Ian hates himself. Hates his job, the last mission for which he is writing a report right now, hates Blunt for his decisions, for leaving a child to die, but in the end, he hates himself the most.
He is going to lie. He knows he signed up a deal with the devil that day - outstretched hand, scarred young face, gun comfortably at his hip, smirk at his lips, madness in his eyes - all for him to get away alive, with the promise of Sayle's drug neutralized.
"Alex will keep in touch."
Those were the last words Gregorovich told him.
Ian was selfish for one day and it's going to follow him forever.
x
"Do you think I never tried to run? There is no escape for me anymore. They know who I am, they moulded me, created me. I am in their debt forever."
And Ian knows at that moment, that the only way he can help is to follow this boy. Maybe, maybe later, when he restores some humanity, some self-worth in his nephew, he would be ready to be taken home.
x
"I can't take them on alone, Ian."
The boy's eyes beg him to help, to do anything. Ian doesn't see the lies that hide behind, lost in the hope that he could have his family back.
x
"Tell me Gregorovich. Do you regret it sometimes, taking away childhood from Alex, making sure that the only thing left from John will become corrupted like this? Not respecting his memory?"
The man doesn't answer, but Ian feels like the shade reflecting in his eyes just betrayed Yassen's real emotions.
x
There might be people in this world who could be called heroes, but Ian certainly isn't one of them. He might have saved lives, yes, but at what costs? Maybe there was always a different solution with less death, fewer casualties. He never inspired anyone.
There might be people in this world who could be called villains, but Ian certainly isn't one of them. He killed, yes, he had to choose the lesser of evil several times. He did it all on orders, after all, for his country.
But for what reasons he is helping his nephew now?
x
"There is no point, uncle. I stopped caring about what I do ages ago."
Ian begs him, offers him escape routes, but the boy just answers with mad gazes and crazy grins. Where is the lost boy, that wanted to get out of SCORPIA grasp, that wanted to leave this bitter life but couldn't?
Are you watching John? Do you regret agreeing to that mission that saved few and killed you, your wife and your son?
x
The boy, his nephew, his blood, takes him by his hand, blinds his eyes and strays him away from his path. Ian cherishes family and Alex Rider knows that and will use this knowledge to his own devices.
x
Cray doesn't believe that SCORPIA had sent him a little boy to protect him and be at his disposal. A fully trained versatile agent of ours, was their recommendation.
The boy shatters all his doubts when he doesn't kill just a privy news investigator, but his whole family with him, all under the pretence of it being an accident.
He brings him to the public event under the guise of promotion, of having a teenager play the game. He doesn't allow him to make a test run in the end, afraid it would not prove any kind of a challenge to the teenager, instead choosing some fortunate son of one of the visitors.
x
"You could have been a target too. Does it not really faze you that SCORPIA likes to kill children?"
"Would it make a difference then, if they killed adults instead? Who are you decide who is meant to die?"
"They are innocent-"
"Some adults too. Look me in the eyes Ian and tell me that I am innocent too."
x
"They gave me a choice. It wasn't a hard decision, considering one of the paths lead to certain death."
x
"I read the file on your employer, Ian. Do you think the Director of MI6 wouldn't be phased with using children? I bet he entertained that idea already. I bet he is jealous it's SCORPIA who owns me."
"Are you proud this man is your puppetmaster?"
x
"They killed your brother. They killed my father. And you still stand on their side?"
"It was SCORPIA who ordered that hit and you know it. Your mentor told you everything and you still decided to follow him?"
"It was MI6 who told him to infiltrate my organization, to begin with. Who is more at fault then?"
x
"I must admit, the boy is starting to become harder to control."
The confession is unexpected, not because of the message, but because it's Yassen Gregorovich sharing to Ian Rider, the man that is trying to take his protege away (never suceeding), these two brought together only thanks to Alex's plans.
"One would have thought you would have him properly conditioned. You are not one without assurance."
"Yes, but - Alex doesn't respond to the code words anymore. A result of too early training probably."
Ian sees what hasn't been spoken aloud. The teenager truly enjoys what he is doing - taking lives, being on top of the food chain, the way the blood rushes through his veins when in a fight, the way he is underestimated. He is not victim anymore, maybe never was.
x
"Tulip Jones is dead."
"It was SCORPIA. Specifically, Alex Rider. They sent a signed letter with condolences."
"I believe they had inside help."
x
"Are you proud Ian? That you will do anything to help your family?"
x
"I've seen some MI6 agents in Indonesia, sir. They seemed to catch on our doings."
"They won't pose a problem. I've had it prepared for them to go on a false trail."
"And what could you, Rider, know about it."
"At least Riders value family, not like you, Ash. I wonder where did MI6 get their hint, do you possibly have any idea? After all, it's me having a mole inside not them."
The challenge rings in the air and Ash takes a step back, suddenly afraid. The past week that his godson was in Yu's care, he only showed obedience and looked perfectly broken. Now there is a predator out for his own blood.
x
He holds the gun to the boys head. No. No longer boy, never in mind, barely in body. Alex manipulated him the whole past year, using him, straying him further from his path. Soon there will no going back.
Alex holds his head high, with challenge evident in his eyes, taunting him. Do it, pull the trigger. Prove that being a monster runs in the family.
He needs to end it before it's too late.
Gregorovich standing in the background, observing, offering him a small nod.
He presses the trigger.