As I cried on Brian, I babbled. I hope that Christian had told him the whole story, because as it was I am pretty sure that I was unintelligible and he couldn't have possibly figured out what was going on by listening to me and my explanation of the events.

He made a run to the all night grocery and returned to make me tea. He didn't force me to talk. He didn't ask me questions. He just let me cry and held me to him and brushed my curls back. Why couldn't I be in love with him? He was the perfect man…aside from that whole homicidal manic for a mother thing. I sighed.

Eventually I cried myself out and fell into an uneasy sleep. Brian carried me up to the bedroom and put me to bed and lay down beside me still fully clothed on top of the covers. He grabbed the throw from the bottom of the bed and covered himself and fell asleep.

I felt Ranger in the room before I was fully awake. I felt him and for a brief second I forgot and I started to smile. Then I remembered. That infernal tingle on the back of my neck that alerted me to his presence let me know he was there even though I slept fitfully. I should have known that the fact that a tingle let me know he was there was not a good thing. I got tingles to alert me to danger. Ranger was, in fact, the biggest danger I'd ever faced. I'd lost my heart to him. I wonder if I'd stayed with him how much more I'd have lost.

I didn't want to open my eyes. I didn't want to deal with him at all. I didn't even know why I should have to deal with him. I mean he'd had plenty of time to get his alibi straight. Who knows what lies he had for me now? Who knows where this conversation would go if I participated? I wasn't sure that I was strong enough to deal with him. On the other hand, I had a feeling he wouldn't leave unless I did.

I knew he knew I was awake, but he didn't say anything. I sighed and opened my eyes and got out of the bed and walked out of the room and he followed me. I never even looked at him. He didn't say a word. He wasn't that talkative and I could feel the tension rolling off of him. I wondered if his parents knew what was going on. I also wondered what my father had to say to him. I suspected it wasn't pretty. I know that whatever Lula had been going to say to him before I left was going to be bad. I have to say, there's a small part of me that was sorry to have missed it. I went down stairs and sat down in the chair that I'd bought all those years ago for Dickie and I and our first house and I waited. I waited for him to start talking. God knows I wasn't going to initiate the conversation.

He paced. He paced and occasionally he'd stop and look at me and then he'd pace again. I never looked at him directly. I only saw him in my peripheral. I sure didn't want him to see my eyes. I didn't want him to see how much damage he'd done. I felt as though he'd used my feelings for him to get something from me. To be honest, I wasn't even sure what he had gotten. If he needed a cover for something, he could have just asked. Whatever it was, he sure wasn't willing to discuss it with me.

Brian came downstairs while Ranger was pacing and stopped at the bottom stair. I looked over at him and he sighed. He shook his head at me. I know he was asking me if I wanted him to get rid of him. There was no point in that. I didn't need them to come to blows. I wasn't sure my mental health could take it and I don't know who I'd be cheering for at this point.

Ranger stopped pacing and turned to glare at Brian.

"Don't blame me for your fuck up," Brian said softly. "I'm just here to pick up the pieces."

Ranger swallowed but didn't say anything.

"It's okay Brian," I finally managed to say.

"Sweetheart," he sighed.

"He won't physically hurt me," I said softly. "It's okay. I can handle this."

He sighed. He stood there for a few more minutes then grabbed his coat and his keys and headed for the door. "Call me if you need me."

"Thank you," I said softly.

"Anytime," he said with a smile. "I love you." He left closing the door quietly behind him.

Ranger turned to glare at me, "you called him?"

I didn't want to dignify that with an answer, but I also didn't want to stoop to his level. I was the innocent party in this thing. It was going to stay that way. "I did not. Christian brought me home. He probably called Brian. Brian was here to attend our reception but couldn't bring himself to go. I don't remember sending him an invitation."

"I did," he sighed and ran his hand through his hair tiredly. "I thought you'd want him there."

"I would have, but I didn't put him on the list for your sake."

He nodded. "What do you want me to say?"

"The truth would be nice," I said quietly.

"Whose version of the truth do you want?"

"There's only one version of the truth. I know my truth and it turned out to be a big lie."

"It's wasn't all a lie."

"Enough of it was that I know I was deceived and betrayed."

He sighed.

"So tell me Ranger…what is your truth?"

He started pacing again. "You had commitment issues."

"If I had commitment issues, then wasn't that my truth and not yours. Besides…I had commitment issues. That's past tense."

"You had them."

"I got over them," I reminded him.

He swallowed, "I wasn't sure."

"You weren't sure," I blinked at him. "You're fucking kidding me?"

"Babe," he shook his head.

"What more could I have done to convince you," I glared at him. "You're full of shit."

"I wasn't sure," He repeated.

"Ranger…I friggin told you that I was in love with you," I reminded him tiredly. "I told you that I wanted marriage and babies and the white picket fence and the whole nine friggin burg yards. That's pretty much being over the commitment issues."

"Is it?"

"I also told you that I realized that you weren't ready for what I was ready for and I didn't want to push you and be my mother or Joe. I told you that. I gave you the entire truth and you said… Do you even know what you said?"

"Babe…"

"Yes, you said that. You also said 'oh God'," I sighed.

"You were with Brian," he glared.

"I didn't have to be with Brian. Brian knew how I felt and wanted me anyway. We talked about it. But when I told you how I felt…you said 'oh God'."

"Babe," he growled.

"I said that I was in love with you," I said tiredly, "and you didn't return the favor." I was quiet for a few moments waiting him to fill the space with words. I waited for words that never came….again. I sighed. I felt suddenly very drained and very empty. "What do you want me to do Ranger?"

He was quiet.

I started to get a little bit angry when he still didn't offer me any real explanation or anything else for that matter. "Do you want me to give everything to you and get nothing in return? Oh sure, you rescue me. You buy me big pretty houses. You make sure that I have great orgasms. But you deny me the words Ranger. You deny me the only thing I really need."

"You need the orgasms," he said with a slight smile.

"I need the words more," I said and put my head down. Even the sex wasn't enough to make me want more from him at that moment. There was nothing he could do. The only way to fix this was with words. He needed to man up.

"Babe," he sighed.

"You took away my chance to be proposed to by the only man I wanted to be proposed to by. You took away my right to have my family and your family at our wedding. You took it all away because you don't want to say the words. You can't say the words."

"I can say the words," he glared at me.

"Can you," I said softly.

"I can," he spat.

I waited. I waited for him to say the words that he declared quite boldly that he could say, but they didn't come. They never came. He was silent. He could say them. He couldn't say them to me. I sank back in the chair defeated. I sat there for a few more minutes before I got to my feet, "then there's really nothing left to say."

"Babe…"

"My name is Stephanie. I suggest you start using it when you wish to get my attention or say anything to me. You just lost the right to call me anything else." I walked up the stairs and left him in the living room. If he can say the words, he should have said them. If he couldn't say them to me, then he didn't feel them for me. It was one or the other. It was time I faced facts. I could love him till my dying day. But if he couldn't love me back, the whole thing was pointless and eventually I'd fade away. I needed to love and be loved.

I needed the words.