3rd Person POV:

"What is the meaning of this!"

To say the last three months have been stressful for one deputy headmistress Glynda Goodwitch would be the biggest understatement ever. Of all times. First, one of her own students, Ruby Rose, just disappeared without a trace. The next month was spent searching for the lost girl, with her older sister being the most grief-stricken and desperate to deny the possibility that Ruby was most likely dead after so long.

Things didn't get much better when Ruby's other living family members, her father Taiyang Xiao Long and uncle Qrow Branwen, showed up to help with the search, remaining on campus ever since. Though at this point, they're sticking around mainly to keep an emotional blonde brawler from going out of control.

Then things simply got worse of the headmaster and his deputy, whom is considering breaking into Qrow's stash for the first time in her life. Weiss Schnee disappeared a month ago, and now her oh-so-grand-father is trying to use every ounce of influence to launch an immediate inquiry into Beacon's ability to look after its students.

Finally, to top it all off, Ricka dePautain, the daughter of another high-ranking member of the Vale Council, has been raising hell and high water onto Beacon. She was one of the many students who was considered for entry into Beacon the year Team RWBY was formed, but she was ultimately rejected, and Ruby saved Ozpin time by filling Ricka's slot. The reason she was rejected? She supposedly gave her instructor a blowjob so she could get positive combat grades, and he decided to come forward about it; as to whether or not it's true is up for serious debate, but Ozpin decided he didn't want to risk it. But now that Ruby's gone and Beacon's under attack from the Vale Council, the aged headmaster had no real choice but to reinstate the young girl as the new leader for Team RWBY, and that soon, he'd send Qrow and Tai out to figure out what happened to the missing Rose and the Schnee heiress, with promising new leads uncovered.

The next day, everyone had gathered into Beacon's ballroom to hear Glynda's announcement about Team RWBY's newest replacement; to which Yang glowers at the human girl, and Blake's reaction is a mixture of curiosity and mild distain. But as she's about to make her statement about triumph and how she deserved to be here in the first place, a giant yellow bus comes crashing through the wall behind Ricka and sits there, the engine still running.

A moment of silence passes. Then the glass doors swing open, and out steps the last person anyone expected to see ride into Beacon on a school bus. "Ugh, did anyone get the license plate for the puma that just ran me over?" Ruby Rose, just as everyone remembers her, steps out of the bus while holding her head in her hands. Dead silence fills the stadium, with Yang slapping herself in the face, Jaune dropping the duffel of Nora's training equipment at his side. Ruby then looks up and notices everyone staring at her with amazement, confusion, and resentment in the rare cases. "Hey, guys. What's going on?" Ruby then waves sheepishly.

"Ms. Rose…" Glynda starts, dumb-founded, but Yang rushes past the deputy headmistress and instantly hugs Ruby tightly. She then lets go and looks Ruby over quickly.

"I missed you so much, Ruby." She then smiles brightly, only to recoil slightly. "And you smell terrible!"

"Yeah, I suppose so." Ruby replies, laughing slightly.

"That's it, dolt!" Weiss shouts as she too pulls herself out from the bus. "You are forbidden from helping to drive another bus on my watch. Ever again."

"Aw come on!" Ruby whines slightly, sinking lower; this revelation causes some gasps, but mainly greater confusion than before.

"Where have you guys been?" Yang asks gently, placing a hand onto Ruby's shoulders.

"Yes. We'd all like an answer to that." A haughty voice proclaims. Ruby looks at the new girl; she has bright green hair that touches her shoulders, brown eyes hidden by a thick pair of glasses that make her eyes look enormous, tattoos of strange designs coating both her arms, and two nose rings with a ripped tank top under a red flannel shirt and equally ripped jeans. Just looking at her makes Ruby feel nauseous for some reason.

"Who the…who are you?" Ruby demands; she really wants to swear, but her gut tells her to hold back for now.

"Ricka dePautain. I was going to join Beacon before you decided to destroy public property."

For some reason, Ruby feels dread at what she hears, but decides to humor the girl. "Oh, really? Whose team are you joining?"

Ricka's expression turns into a slight snarl. "I was going to take charge of my own team, but you've decided to ruin that for me."

In that moment, Ruby and Weiss figure out what's going on. Everyone expects her to explode in anger or challenge her to a fight, but instead, Ruby just places a hand on her hip and smiles sweetly. "Over my dead body."

The girl looks upon her with outrage and is about to grab something, no doubt to attack, Glynda steps in. "Enough! As Ms. Rose and Ms. Schnee have returned and the transition paperwork has not been completed, they will both be reinstated onto your own team. Ms. DePautain, would you please pack your bags?"

"This is bullshit!" Ricka screeches, stomping on the ground loudly. "I've worked for this role, and you give away a spot here I was promised to this…this incel? I won't stand for it!"

"Strange lady, isn't she?" Ruby asks Weiss, who only nods in agreement.

"You know what?" Ricka's eyes flash dangerously. "This is a school where only the best fighters can be allowed in. We have a conflict in roles. How about we fight over it?"

Yang's eyes flash red and she steps forward, but Ruby grabs her arm. "Fine. If that means you leave my team alone from now on."

"Fine. We fight today, in one hour. I look forward to making you suffer." With a sly smirk, Ricka walks away from the stage and everyone starts muttering amongst themselves.

It only comes to a stop when Glynda raises a hand. "You are all dismissed for now until the headmaster can give a final verdict." Yang throws Ruby a worried look before joining the crowd as they wander off and chat among themselves about the battle to come; Glynda turns to looks at Ruby and Weiss. "Ms. Schnee, you may join your fellow peers. Ms. Rose, we are going to see the headmaster."

Since there is no room for debate, Ruby shrugs. But as they make their way towards the hall, the doors open up and Ozpin steps through, closely followed by Ruby's father, Taiyang Xiao Long, and uncle, Qrow Branwen. "Ms. Goodwitch, I…" But then he notices Ruby and freezes in place, barely noticing the yellow bus smashed through the side of his school. The two adults also take notice and for the first time, Qrow nearly drops his flask.

"R-Ruby…" Tai stammers, not believing what he is seeing. Qrow isn't just better, just standing there with shock.

Ozpin is the first of the three men to formulate a sentence. "Ms. Rose, it's good to see you again. Ms. Goodwitch, where is Ms. DePautain?"

"That's what I was going to see you for, Headmaster. She decided to challenge Ms. Rose to a duel to see if she should stay in Beacon." Glynda speaks up, still trying to keep up with everything that's going on.

Ozpin then looks between Glynda and Ruby several times before sighing out loud. "Well, I suppose it would cause further problems if we sent Ms. DePautain away now."

"Oz, you can't be serious!" Tai shouts at the headmaster. "Ruby was here on campus first. Come on, Qrow, back me up here!"

To his immense surprise, Qrow just takes a swig from his flask. "Actually, Tai, I say let the duel happen. Remember, Tai, I trained Ruby so I have faith. Besides, kiddo, I want you to put that bitch in her place."

"Language!" Tai shouts at Qrow, who notices Ruby simply shrugging at the insult.

"Very well, then. I will send out the announcement that the match will occur today in an hour. Ms. Rose, I would recommend you prepare yourself for the match."

"Sure." Ruby replies.

But as she's making her way towards the showers, Tai runs over to his daughter and gives her a hug. "It's so good to see you again." He then lets go. "But I think that you do need a shower too."

Ruby pauses and decides to risk a sniff; only to let out a disgusted moan. "Okay, maybe you're right. Say, can you move my trunk to the locker room entrance? I've got some spare clothes in there."

Tai only nods and wishes Ruby good luck as she walks off towards the locker room. Apparently, many students have already guessed that the match would be happening, as rounds of various types of ammunition are scattered throughout the locker room. Ruby smirks.

Then, after a long and much-needed shower, she walks out and finds the trunk sitting at the locker room entrance. Looking around carefully, she pulls the trunk inside and slips back on her second outfit made during her Camp days; which somehow manage to fit her just right. Once done, she rummages through the disorganized chaos to find her first baby, Crescent Rose. But as Ruby looks at Freckles, she then looks at the corpse of BOBA, the robot being depleted of energy and nearly disabled. In that moment, Ruby gets the craziest idea ever, and rummages through the parts and trunk so as to add a new feature that would potentially turn the fight around.

Once she finishes, she tucks Freckles in the back of her shourts. In that moment, Ruby is as ready as she'll ever be. She makes her way through the locker room and towards the arena where the match will inevitably occur. Upon arrival, she is greeted by the sounds of loud chatter about the match, with Ricka standing in the center with a smug look. It then slips slightly when she notices the change in attire. "Who do you think you are? A super spy?"

Ruby scoffs slightly, holding Crescent Rose in front of her. "At least I'm not dressed like a hoe." Briefly, she notices Weiss in the crowd looking on with a slightly surprised look; Yang, on the other hand, is horrified by the outburst and the audience starts quieting down.

Ricka simply laughs. "It seems like you have a bigger spine than I thought." She then pulls out a rather large broadsword, easily as long as Ruby is tall, and holds it out to the side. Ruby simply lifts up Crescent Rose and gets ready.

"Are the combatants ready?" Goodwitch states once she steps onto the arena. Qrow and Tai are standing at the top of the arena stands, looking down at the arena with excited and concerned looks on their faces respectively. Ozpin is in the corner of the room, sipping on his coffee and looking on with interest. The deputy headmistress then lifts up her arm and thrusts it down.

In that moment, the two combatants charge at each other. Ruby swings Crescent Rose forward, but Ricka ducks under the blade and slashes upward. The silver-eyed girl then lets go of Crescent Rose, then once the blade swings safely past, re-grabs the weapon and swings in the opposite direction. This catches Ricka slightly off-guard, but still dodges the attack and headbutts Ruby. She doesn't expect the attack and stumbles back, clutching her face. Taking advantage of the stunning, Ricka charges forward and takes another swing at Ruby who flies onto her back.

Ruby looks up at the board and already notices her Aura's dipping into the yellow range. Luckily, she picks herself up. She then charges towards Ricka who simply smirks and also charges forward; but in a surprise maneuver, she drops onto the side of her right knee and slides between Ricka's legs, and after jumping into the air at the opposite side, pulls out Freckles and lets loose three shots. Ricka never saw that coming at all and took each bullet to the head, lowering her Aura into the yellow range as well. Ruby then uses the moment to grab Crescent Rose and wields both weapons. "Well, aren't you full of surprises?" Ricka asks, still smug. "But you still can't beat me."

"Really?" Ruby then folds Crescent Rose into sniper mode and fires a few quick rounds. "What do you say we up the ante? If you lose, you have to concede the match in a speech of my own writing?"

Ricka blocks all of the bullets with her sword, draining her Aura further. "Fine. Since you'll lose anyway, it doesn't matter."

She then charges forward for a direct attack, to which Ruby unfolds her weapon to defend, but the scythe is swatted out of her hands and Ruby barely has time to jump over the slash. Ruby can't help but notice that her opponent's attacks are becoming faster and much stronger; perhaps her semblance allows her to build up power the longer she fights. Not to mention, being majorly out of practice with Crescent Rose as a scythe makes melee combat something to be avoided at all costs.

With a plan formulating in Ruby's mind, she smirks; it might be time to start writing that speech in her head after all. Ricka notices this and her smirk grows wider, holding the sword at her side. But as Ruby reaches arms-length of the sword, Ruby lifts up the scythe and stabs it into the arena floor and swings over the opponent. Ruby then pulls out Freckles and fires another shot, hitting her and lowering her Aura into the orange range. "You think you're so smart, do you?" Ricka asks, then transforms her sword into an enormous missile launcher and fires.

Ruby lets out a small squeak of surprise and starts running away from the missile while her opponent stands where she is standing smugly. That is, until she starts to reach the edge of the arena. Realizing how she can turn this back to her favor, Ruby jumps into the air and activates her semblance to get behind the rocket. As Ruby suspects, the missile is a heat-seeking model and turns around widely in pursuit of its target. She then runs towards Ricka, whose arrogance is replaced with shock. "What the hell?" She shouts as she starts to run away too. But Ruby leaps over the other candidate and after turning around, fires her last shot from Crescent Rose at the missile. While Ruby's back makes a violent impact and she skids for a brief moment, the missile explodes and sends Ricka flying across the arena and off the field itself.

The second that she leaves the field, the familiar buzzer goes off. "This match is over! Ms. Ruby Rose is the winner!"

Many people, Yang being the loudest, start cheering loudly while those who supported Ricka, such as Cardin Winchester, just sit in their seats and groan loudly. Ruby look up at the Aura counter, and while she was in the mid-yellow range, Ricka is already in the orange. The silver-eyed girl lets out a wide smile, happy to be back at Beacon.

Her opponent stands up and glares at Ruby before sighing. "So you're not the little bitch I heard after all. Let's get this over with; what speech did you want me to say?"

Ruby's smile grows into a grin, borderline sneering; Ozpin notices this look and can't help but feel a little intrigued at what might happen. "Ms. Goodwitch, do you mind if I borrow a piece of paper?" The deputy looks surprised but nods and provides a slip of paper and a pencil.

A still-grinning Ruby takes the utensils, and writes down the idea; it is a mock speech she and her friends at Camp came up with and tried to force the Wood Scouts to say once they lost the Camporee, but never got the chance to do so. Once it's done, she hands the paper to Ricka who looks it over. And over. And over. Each time her mouth opens wider, her eyebrows rise into her forehead, and the dark eyes narrow. When she looks up again, her arrogance is replaced with one of horror. "You're crazy. You're absolutely fucking crazy!"

Ruby waves off the insult. "Where I came from, dirtbag, crazy is a compliment."

Ricka groans while ignoring the exclamations of surprise of Ruby acting differently than ever before, the loser's cheeks turning purple. "Hello, everyone. I officially like to surrender my place in life to one Ruby Rose. Also, I would just like everyone to know that I blow. And that I'm a boy. And I like to wear dildos under my thong, and I want to kiss all the girls."

A moment of silence passes before it is broken by Ruby laughing slightly. "This may be the best surrender of all time."

"Indeed, it is, you little shit."

"Thanks, Mr…." Ruby then freezes in place and looks at the audience stand to make sure she heard right. "Mr. Campbell?"

Cameron Campbell chuckles slightly, feeling everyone's eyes on him. "Thought you'd be rid of me, did you?"

"How are you here? You're supposed to be back at camp working out your parole!"

Campbell then glowers at her slightly. "And I would have, too! I was going to clean that son of a bitch and fell asleep in the back, only to find you and your prissy girlfriend there not only steal the bus but kidnap me as well. No matter, now I have a chance to restart my life clean." He then holds out his hand and a random student slapped a rather large amount of lien into his hands. "And with to this excellent start thanks to you Reddy, I will have a chance to become the world's Richest Outdoorsman once again!"

Ruby just stares up at the older man with a deadpan expression. "Screw you, Campbell."

Yang gasps slightly and Tai just stares down at the arena with slight horror. "Qrow?" He asks, holding out his hand.

"Here." He replies, giving the full flask without a second thought.

"So, Ms. Rose, I will leave you to reunite with your team. But don't let this day make you late for class tomorrow." Goodwitch states before walking towards Mr. Campbell, who looks around with fear and starts to make a break for it. All the while, the students start cheering loudly and some are even throwing their hats into the air.

"Yes, ma'am. Maybe I'll get drunk, get laid, or something. But I'll show these students how we campers fucking do things in the outdoors." Ruby mutters so no one can hear her. But then she sees her teammates rushing towards Ruby with open arms.

"Aw crap." Ruby lets her arms fall to her sides, and accepts her fate.

AN: Well, like it or not, I give you all the end of this story.

Thank you so much for the thunderous readings, favs and follows, and I will hopefully see you soon for my next big venture.

But before I go, here's the omake I promised you all. Enjoy! Inspired by a certain animated movie set in a redneck mountain town featuring the greatest shenanigans ever recorded on animation.

PS: Since Qrow Branwen is featured in this, it's time I got this message out. Vic Mignogna, I stand with you against the lies thrust against you; and if you manage to nail Monica Rial in the process, then you will have my respect.

"Alright, class, today we will be reviewing for our next exam." This is what Dr. Oobleck uses to greet his students during their next class. Many students, especially Ruby, groan loudly. "Which is why today, we will be experimenting with how we review for the exam. Through Jeopardy!" He then rushes towards a draped board and pulls it down to reveal the board. "The categories are: Legitimate Wars, that is where you list all of the legitimate wars in Remnant's history, Life of Brian, History of Potent Potables, and Great Horseman. Ms. Rose, since you're back so soon, you can start."

Ruby grins widely. "I'll take Great Whore Semen for 800."

Many students are stunned by the outburst while some, like Nora, can't stop themselves from laughing loudly. "Excuse me, Ms. Rose?"

"Oh dear. Let me get my special lenses." With that, Ruby dashes out of class.

Oobleck just shakes his head. "Whatever. Ms. Nikos, can you pick a category?"

"I'll take Remnant's Legitimate Wars for 400."

"Sounds good, Ms. Nikos. The answer is: What revolution in Remnant's history is arguably considered the one the good people and faunus of Remnant benefitted from?"

Pyrrha thinks it over for a moment before responding. "What is the Faunus Rights Revolution?"

"Good. Very good. As, Ms. Rose, glad… you're…back…" He then takes his glass and wipes them at the sight. "My dear, why are you wearing a fish bowl on your head?"

"Because all the cool kids do so." Ruby replies in an airy tone, now wearing Space Kid's stolen bowl over her head. This manages to get out some more laughs and a concerned look from her sister.

"Are you willing to take the game seriously?"

"Sure. I'll take Life of Brian for 400."

"Right, then. The answer is: By what name did the people revere the man known as Brian as?"

Ruby thinks it over for a moment before responding. "What is Brown?"

Oobleck just shakes his head. "I'm sorry, Ms. Rose, but that is not correct. The answer is Gray."

"Are you sure? I had a mighty dump on your textbooks this morning. And it was in your mother's handwriting too." Ruby then starts laughing in the most obnoxious way she can muster. Yang looks scandalized while Weiss simply blushes and shakes her head. Meanwhile, in the corner, a certain grey-haired asshole laughs his ass off at the insult while his team leader scorns him heavily.

Ooblack gasps. "You dare bring my mother into this? How would you like to go see Ms. Goodwitch right now?"

Ruby then pulls out a megaphone that she had tucked away under her seat. She flicks it and then starts speaking into it. "How would you like to suck my lady dick, Mr. Oobleck?"

Stunned silence, aside from the grey-haired teens fits of laughter. The professor, however, is livid at the remark. Ruby looks to her teammates then back at the teacher with a troubled look. "Holy shit, did I screw up. But yet, I feel inexplicably elated. Just you all wait, I will be the most diverse-mouthed Huntress you've all ever seen! You can bet your sweet asses on it." She then lets out a wide smile.