This chapter is quite long, but I'm honestly really excited about it. This will be a multi-chapter fanfic, so please don't forget to review and enjoy!

Arizona Robbins maneuvered through the busy main terminal of Sea-Tac airport, weaning in-between each passerby, careful not to bump into any fellow travelers. Her right hand had a tight grip on her daughter's tiny fingers, even though Sofia had insisted that she didn't need for her mother to do so, as she was seven years old and a "big girl" now. Indeed she was, but Arizona wasn't taking any chances. She hated airports.

The blonde let out a sigh of relief once she saw they were only a few feet from their gate. 29B to New York. It had been a long and messy day, and Arizona was completely drained, and maybe just a little frustrated as well. Nothing today had gone to plan. Jo and Alex disappeared from their own wedding, the wedding planner nearly died from an allergic reaction to the shrimp, and April somehow ended up marrying Matthew at the venue instead. On top of that, Arizona had disappointed her daughter even more when she'd delayed their flight a few hours so she could go congratulate Alex on his ferryboat wedding she hadn't been able to be there for. His wedding to Jo was the only reason she had stayed in Seattle after April recovered from her accident, and she didn't even get to be there to see it.

Arizona was just tired. So, so tired, and much to her excitement, her phantom limb pain was flaring up as well. It wasn't out of the ordinary for the surgeon to have flare ups when she was preparing to fly, but it was still a pain in her ass. She'd flown many times in the six years since the accident, but Arizona couldn't help but completely dread it this time around since taking a few Xanax to knock herself out wasn't an option with her daughter around. The blonde could count on one hand the amount of times she'd flown while fully conscious. So, not many.

30 minutes until boarding time. Arizona blew out a breath of hot air, her knee bobbing up and down feverishly. She bit down hard on her bottom lip to stifle a groan as another jolt of pain was sent through her non-existent limb. She was trying to keep her discomfort unnoticeable to her daughter, but her 7-year old was much more intuitive than most. And she had the same bedside manner as her Mami.

"Momma? You okay?" The sweet voice in the seat next to her questioned. Arizona couldn't help but smile down at her beautiful little girl, swiping a stray hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, I'm fine, big girl. Just a little nervous."

The declaration quieted the second grader. Sofia knew about the accident her Momma had been in when she was super little, and she also knew the same accident was the reason her father was no longer around. But Sofia was just now getting to the age where she could understand the affects that accident had, had on her family, so she decided not to ask her Mom about it anymore since it seemed to make her uncomfortable.

15 minutes until boarding time. The blonde released a shaky breath. The coping method's she'd been taught during her few and brief therapy sessions were proving to be ineffective. Her anxiety only continued to increase regardless of the amount of deep breaths she took or happy places she tried to go to.

The iPhone in Arizona's purse dinged, the telltale sign that she had just gotten a text message. Apparently, Callie could sense her discomfort too.

'Hey, how you holding up?' Arizona felt her anxiety ease the slightest bit as she read over those words. She waited to reply as the three dots in the bottom left-hand corner of her phone screen indicated the brunette was typing another message.

'I know flying isn't the easiest for you and I know you're having to go cold turkey for this trip,' a grin pulled at the corners of Arizona's lips at her ex's poor attempt at a joke, 'So I just wanted to check in and make sure you were doing alright.'

Even though Arizona couldn't hear Callie's voice, she could sense the nerves in her words, but she didn't want to let the conversation to get too deep, so she decided to reply with something lighthearted.

'I'm doing good. A little anxious but it's no big deal. Thanks for checking in :)' Arizona pressed the green send button and waited a moment before adding. 'Sofia's doing good too. A little worn out but super excited to see you.'

The blonde stole a glance at the little girl leaning against her arm. Her eyes were closed, sound asleep. Arizona looked back to her phone to find a message that made her heart flutter against her will.

'That's good. I'm really excited to see her too.'

'And you.'

The second, separate message forced Arizona to close her eyes. Callie shouldn't be making her feel this way. Her heart should still be beating at it's normal rhythm and her stomach shouldn't be swamped with butterflies.

"Our one job, really our only job, in life, is to stay open to possibilities."

April's words from their conversation earlier today ran through her head. She was right. She needed to stay open to possibilities.

"I am too."

It was about time she was honest with herself about her feelings.

And, send.

"I noticed you smiling."

Arizona was reading yet another text message from Callie, but looked up when she heard the voice of her newly married friend approaching her. "Huh?"

"At your phone. You were smiling at it while the officiant was marrying us."

The other woman felt her face go beat red at the accusation. She moved her open mouth to defend herself, but was unable to form any coherent words.

"I-um," the nervous blonde cleared her throat. "Is it really that obvious?"

April released a chuckle. "Well, you pretty much told me as such a few hours ago."

Arizona glanced upwards at the sky for a moment, her pursed lips breaking into a smile as she released a breathy laugh. That makes sense.
"And.." the red-head drew out. "There's only one person who can make you smile like that, Arizona."

Arizona's smile quickly dissipated, leaving behind pursed lips once again.

"Listen." April grabbed her friend by her wrists and pulled them both down into two of the white chairs set out across the garden. "I meant to say this earlier, but I was too wrapped up in my own world to say it."

A line formed between the surgeon's brows, not quite sure where April was heading with this conversation.

"You were talking about how no one has hurt you the way Callie has, and I get that. But Arizona, no one has hurt Callie the way you have."

Arizona's mouth opened, ready to defend herself at the first pause in April's speech. She felt like she was being accused of not knowing how badly she has hurt Calliope in the past or not considering her feelings, and that was just simply not true.

Sensing Arizona was about to jump in, April moved to continue. "And I know you know that. I watched you beat yourself up over the cheating, and a million other things for months. You don't need to defend yourself to me."

Arizona winced. Hearing the word "cheating" associated with something she had done to Callie still made her feel sick. There was nothing in her life she regretted more than the events that took place the night of that storm.

"But I know you're still hurt over how you and Callie left things. And I know you're still angry. I just wanted to make sure that you don't forget Callie was hurt too, in the heat of the moment."

That was true. Arizona had hurt Callie countless times. She'd hurt her when she left her in the middle of Sea-Tac for Africa, when she crashed their car, when she blamed her for the amputation, when she took out all of her anger and pain over it on her, when she cheated on her, and more. Arizona had hurt Callie a lot, and she knew that. As painful as it was to admit, she knew how badly she had hurt the woman she loved throughout their relationship.

And, even though Callie was the one who left her when she walked out on therapy and then, again, when she left to go to New York with Penny, she knew none of that had been easy for her. It took the blonde a long while before she had been able to understand that fact, but now she truly knows that it hadn't been easy for either of them. She and Callie had worked through their issues regarding everything that happened with the custody battle, and Arizona had forgiven her, for the most part, but that didn't mean it doesn't still hurt.

"So," April started again, trying to recapture the attention of her friend who'd drifted off into space. "Whenever you two decide to talk through things, and really talk through them, remember this conversation."

Arizona could feel her eyes beginning to fill up with tears, so she adverted her gaze to focus on her hands that were resting in her lap. She was going to miss April so, so much. She was her person.

Blurry, tear-filled blue eyes found hazel's once again, and Arizona flashed her a grateful smile.

"I mean it, Arizona. You two need to actually talk through every little thing you two have been through since the crash. No more bouncing around it."

Arizona's nodded, her smiling widening. "I know."

Leaning forward, April pulled her friend in for a hug. An actual goodbye hug. Arizona had been forbidding it ever since she told her the news that she was leaving, but the woman in her arms was her best friend. The woman had postponed her flight the second she found out she had been hurt so she could be there for her. She'd never had a friend like her before. She'd never had a friend who actually cared about her as much as Arizona did. 'Well, not anyone who was just a friend anyway,' April thought to herself as she stole a glance at Jackson standing over by the wedding stage, making conversation with Matthew.

A few moments later, April broke the silence. "I'm gonna miss you."

Arizona's lungs grabbed ahold of a handful of air, allowing the blonde time to get a grip on her composure. She hated goodbyes. "I'm gonna miss you too."

A single tear rolled down both women's cheeks.

Arizona pulled away before she lost complete control over her motions. "Anyway," she made a move to stand up, grabbing her phone from the seat in front of her. "I should probably get going, grab Sofia. She's not too happy with me right now. I postponed our flight a few hours so I could go congratulate Alex's since I missed his wedding."

An apologetic smile grabbed ahold of April's features. "I'm sorry. You can tell her this one's on me."

The fetal surgeon shook her head. "No, you did an amazing job. Life just-," A breath of air escaped pink lips, her head tilted upwards to the sky, as black eyelashes blinked back oncoming tears. "got in the way, you know?"

The former trauma surgeon acknowledged Arizona sadly. "I know."

A moment of silence passed before Arizona added. "I'll text you as soon as I get there, okay?"

With that, Arizona spun on her heels and made her way to fetch Sofia from her Uncle Jackson.

10 minutes until boarding time.

Arizona didn't want her conversation with Callie to end yet. Despite the fact that a part of her still felt that it couldn't possibly be good for her, talking to Callie made her feel a little less anxious. It always did. So the jittery blonde typed her next message without second thought: 'Jo kissed me today."

'What?' the reply was almost immediate.

Arizona grinned to herself, she could hear Callie's voice saying her famous catchphrase in her mind.

"She was excited because she got accepted to Mass Gen. Definitely took me by surprise though 😂," Arizona explained.

"Ah."

Arizona's smile remained firm on her lips, finding the other woman's short replies quite amusing, and she couldn't help but wonder if the cause was a slight jealousy.

"So Mass Gen, huh? I'm assuming that's for a fellowship. What specialty?"

"General. Meredith kinda took her under her wing for this past year."

"Oh, right. I heard about that. Mini livers?"

"Mhm."

"That's a shame. She would've been great in Ortho."

"Yeah well, she didn't really have anyone good around to continue mentoring her." The message sent with a flick of her thumb.

A minute passed and there was still silence on Callie's end, and Arizona quickly realized what she'd said.

"Sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"It's okay."

She was still there.

"Robbins," surprise radiated from the man's tone. "What are you still doing here? I thought your flight supposed to-"

"Yeah, I delayed it. It now leaves-," Arizona pressed the home button of the phone in her hand, "well, it leaves in an hour." A scoff left pink lips, soon turning into a dry smile. She didn't plan this very well. "Can I speak to you for a moment? Outside."

The brown haired man gave a wordless nod, stepping into the hallway, out of Jackson's penthouse, and shutting the door on the party behind him. "What's up?"

"I missed your wedding," the words tumbled out of the blonde's mouth without context.

"Oh, hey. It's no big deal. It was just a stupid wedding," Karev brushed his former mentor off with a wave of his left hand, assuming she was concerned about how she actually missed his wedding.

Arizona shook her head. She was gonna have to explain more than she'd thought. "I'm leaving."

The Pediatric surgeon stood clueless. "Yeah, I know," his tone went up at the end, turning his statement into more of a question. He stared at the silent fetal surgeon for a few moments, watching as she wrung the sleeves of her long beige coat, eyes focused on the hard concrete. Then it hit him. She was leaving. Alex took a step closer to the woman in front of him. "Look, Robbins," blue eyes looked up to his. "I'm gonna be fine. I'm not your asshole resident anymore. You don't have to worry about me."

Arizona felt tears rush forward, coming to a halt right behind her eyes. "I know," her voice cracked and she tilted her head up and back ever so slightly, as if she could force the tears to just flow backwards. "I just-" the blonde paused to wet her lips. "I thought that seeing you get married to Jo would help make me feel less like I was leaving everything unfinished?" A humorless laugh escaped the vulnerable woman's throat. "I don't even know."

Alex listened wordlessly, his face thoughtful, though most wouldn't be able to tell if they didn't know him as well as Arizona did.

"I am so proud of you, Alex, and I don't care how cheesy it sounds. I am going to miss you so much."

The faintest hint of a smile appeared on the gruff man's face. Never having been good with words, Karev took a few steps forward and pulled his former mentor into a hug, taking Arizona by surprise. Alex Karev had never been much of a hugger. "I'm gonna miss you too, Robbins."

Arizona felt herself relax and she wrapped her own arms around his shoulders and back. The hug lasted a few moments, as if they were reminiscing on the last ten years of memories they'd shared.

"And New York better prepare themselves. They have no idea what's coming for them." The younger man added once he pulled away.

Arizona shot him an appreciative smile. "Thanks, Alex."

A sad silence fell over the two. Both of them hated goodbyes. And they sucked at them too.

"I should probably get back. Jo's gonna kill me if I make her stay here with everyone longer than she has too."

"I'm really happy for you, Alex."

Alex smiled. "I'm happy for you, too. Give Callie a hello kiss for me."

Arizona's jaw dropped.

"Kepner let it slip."

"Now boarding passengers on flight 132 to New York."

The voice of the passenger service assistant startled Arizona from her thoughts. She froze for a second, the flood gates to her temporarily disabled anxiety opening and hitting her full force. 'I can do this,' Arizona reminded herself.

The blonde softly nudged her still sleeping daughter. "Come on, sweetie. We're boarding."

Small eyelashes fluttered, revealing a familiar pair of brown eyes. "New York?" The child rasped through parched lips.

Arizona mustered a tight lipped smile, the best she could with the stabbing pains in her non-existent limb and chest tightening nerves.

Sofia beamed, jumping to her feet. Arizona grabbed ahold of her daughter's right hand, with her left one, and led them up to the woman waiting to check their tickets.

"Boarding passes?"

"Uh, yep. Got them right here," Arizona let go of her daughter's hand to pull the two white tickets out from underneath her phone in her right hand. She handed them to the woman with a shaky smile.

The passenger service assistant scanned the tickets, the beep accompanied by a green light signaling them they were clear to board the aircraft.

Arizona's phone dinged as she and Sofia stepped foot onto the jetway bridge, a message appearing on her phone's lock screen. A wide smile spread across her face as she read the message.

'You got this. :)'

Arizona shifted her weight onto her right leg, as she stood waiting for their luggage to start coming out of the baggage claim. Sofia was fascinated by the contraption, and Arizona had to scold her a few times to back away from it when she was getting too close. The little girl had now settled on the floor, sitting criss-cross applesauce a few feet from the now moving conveyor belt. Her eyes were focused on its opening, waiting for the luggage to start coming through. She'd told her Mom she'd alert her when she saw theirs.

The 6 hour flight from Seattle to New York hadn't gone as smoothly as Arizona had hoped. She was still in the process of regaining her composure and her skin returning to its normal color. The pain in her absent left limb had diminished to an uncomfortable, but still painful, ache, and her stump was beginning to feel the 18 plus hours she'd just spent with her prosthetic on.

Ding!

Her left arm moved grab her phone out of the back pocket of her dark, blue jeans.

'I'm right outside of the baggage claim with the car.'

'Still waiting for our luggage. Will be out soon.' Arizona typed out the response and shoved her phone back into her pocket, releasing a tired breath as she ran her hand through her loose blonde curls. She wasn't in the mood to talk. She just wanted to get this prosthetic off and go to sleep.

"Momma! Our bags," Sofia exclaimed. Arizona grinned at her daughter's excitement as she walked up to the baggage claim. She grabbed her large, blue suitcase off of the conveyor belt, swiftly setting it down and grabbing Sofia's green one before it could pass them by.

"Alright, big girl," Arizona placed a kiss on the top of her daughter's head. "Let's go."

"Be careful!" Arizona yelled after her daughter, whom had taken off through the automatic double doors the second she saw her Mama through them.

Arizona grabbed Sofia's suitcase as well as her own, and rolled them up to the double doors.

On the other side of the doors, Callie greeted her daughter with a huge, tight hug and a sloppy kiss on the cheek, to which the younger brunette giggled and wiped off with a complaint of "Ew!". Callie had missed her little girl so damn much.

Once the giggled had died down, Callie glanced up and through the double doors. Brown eyes spotted a particular blonde struggling with two bags of luggage. She looked pale, a little shaky, and often shifted from one foot to another. Alarms immediately went off in her head and she had to consciously force them to quiet down. She didn't want to come off as too eager.

Arizona looked great though. She was clad in a blue flannel and jeans. A soft, crooked smile appeared on Callie's face, remembering a conversation she and Arizona had about a year and a half into their relationship, when she first moved into her apartment.

"Um, why have I never seen you in any of these flannels?" The brunette questioned her girlfriend with a nod of her head in the direction of the box of what had to be at least 10 to 15 plaid, flannel shirts. "Okay, maybe i've seen you in a few but-"

Arizona spun around to get a look at what Callie was asking her about. "Oh," the blonde shrugged. "I'm not a big fan of perpetuating stereotypes. I usually just wear them on days off or sometimes when I'm with you."

A line formed between Callie's sharp eyebrows. 'Perpetuating stereotypes?'

Noticing her girlfriend's confusion, which she always finds super adorable, Arizona added, "I don't want to seem too gay."

At that, the Orthopedic surgeon burst out laughing, finding the statement completely absurd. Arizona was the definition of "too gay".

Arizona scoffed, though still smiling. "Stop it, Calliope. I'm serious!" The Pediatric surgeon took the tank top she was holding and used it to playfully slap her hysterical girlfriend.

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry. I'll stop," Callie complied through her laughter. Arizona narrowed her eyes at her girlfriend with a glare. "I'll stop."

"Good. Now help me with the rest of these boxes."

"Oh, hey. I'll get those," Callie said, rushing toward the blonde who'd just gotten through the double doors.

"No, it's fi-," Arizona started to object.

"I've got them."

Those warm, brown eyes caught hers and she closed her mouth, intending not to protest again. Her exhausted body gave in to the welcomed relief of having less weight to carry.

"Thanks."

The brunette smiled in reply and took their luggage to the back of the car, loading them into her already opened trunk.

Arizona took a moment to study the other woman. She looked good. She was wearing the same old leather jacket she always had. She must've cut her hair some months ago though because it stopped roughly a little ways below her shoulders. Similar to how it was after they'd gotten married. She'd always loved that hairstyle. It had been her favorite actually. Underneath the jacket she wore a plain, navy blue t-shirt and dark blue jeans. She looked really good.

"Arizona."

"Hm, what?" the distracted woman sputtered.

"Are you ready to go?" Callie questioned once more.

"I am!" Sofia interjected. She was radiating happiness and it made both women's hearts swell with love.

"Yep. Definitely," Arizona offered a tight lipped smile.

The drive to Callie's place was going smoothly. Sofia had fallen asleep in the backseat, leaving the two ex-wives to their own devices for the next hour.

Callie cast a glance at the blonde in the seat next to her. She looked tense, uneasy, and she picked almost profusely at her pant leg covering her thigh.

"Are you sure you don't want to crash at my place tonight? You can always get settled in to your new apartment tomorrow," Callie offered, her voice low and soft, careful not to wake their sleeping daughter.

Arizona shook her head, her eyes focused on the windshield in front of her. She didn't bother glancing back at the brunette. She could tell Callie was concerned, and it was bringing up all of these conflicting feelings Arizona didn't have enough energy to sort through and deal with right then. "No, I think it's best if I just start getting settled in now. Thanks, though."

Callie sighed in defeat. She knew their lighthearted text conversations were too good to be expected to transfer to when they saw each other in person, but she was still disappointed nonetheless.

"I should probably be alone tonight anyway."

Brown brows furrowed once again, but this time the brunette didn't bother looking away from the road. A few seconds passed before it hit her.

"Nightmares?" Her voice was gentle.

The blonde expelled a breath of frustration. "I really don't want to talk about it, Callie."

Callie nodded mutely. 'Fine.'

The Orthopedic surgeon tried to stay quiet for the rest of the ride to her place, not wanting to ruin the civil mood they had going on, but after 20 minutes, when stopped at a red light, the brunette just shook her head. She was going to say it.

"We need to talk at some point, Arizona," the raspiness of Callie's voice sent shivers down the other woman's spine.

"I know," she muttered, blue eyes focused on her hands. "Just not tonight."

Callie nodded again. "Okay."

The light turned green and Callie pressed on the gas.

By the time they reached Callie's apartment building, it was nearly 5 a.m., and the sun was beginning to rise. Callie lived in a penthouse in a slightly, slightly less busy part of the city, about 5 minutes from the hospital, Mount Sinai.

Arizona woke a sleeping Sofia and brought her inside, waiting in the lobby for Callie with their luggage and directions to her penthouse.

Fifteen minutes later, Sofia was sound asleep in her bed. Arizona and Callie lingering in the silence of Callie's huge living room.

The noise of Arizona clearing her throat just about echoed off of the walls. "I should probably get going."

Callie noticed Arizona's significant limp as she began making her way to the front door. Shaking her head at the insanely stubborn woman, the brunette vocalized her thoughts.

"Arizona, just stay here. Please?"

The blonde turned herself around slowly, not wanting to further agitate the area where her stump met her prosthetic.

"You've been up on your feet and wearing that prosthetic, for what? Almost 24 hours now? You need to get it off before it swells so much that you can't wear it for the next few days."

Arizona simply stared at her, her tired brain unable to think of anything to say to Callie's concerns and suggestions.

"And I have a spare bedroom on the other side, far away from both me and Sofia, incase that's what you're worried about."

Arizona's eyes fell to her feet.

"Just stay for tonight, okay? I know Sof would love it if you were here when she got up and we could all have breakfast together. And I know you know you need to get off your feet and get some rest, so why are you avoiding it?" Callie inquired.

Arizona shook her head roughly. "I just can't do this right now, okay?"

"Do what?" The brunette frowned, a line forming between her brows.

"This!" The blonde exclaimed, her hands gesturing to the space in-between her and Callie. "With you!"

"Okay, well, we're not doing anything right now so-,"

"But I know you want to," Arizona countered.

"Of course I want to, Arizona!" the brunette exclaimed, starting to get irritated with the woman standing in front of her. It was five in the morning and her patience was running thin. "But I already told you we don't have to do it tonight."

Arizona's eyes fell with her silence, tired blue eyes studied the white marble floors. The room was eerily quiet; quiet enough so that you could hear a pin drop. Her eyes closed and she inhaled deeply. There were things Arizona needed to get off her chest and she was going to do it now.

"You left me."

"Arizona-," Callie began. She knew the blonde was still hurt and she knew they needed to talk but not now.

"Twice."

'I know,' Callie thought.

"You walked out on me in therapy and then you left with another woman and our daughter, Callie." Anger Arizona had been holding inside for years was beginning to boil over the pot. "And you didn't even think to ask me if I was okay with that?"

Callie was confused. They'd already discussed the whole custody battle situation. It had been resolved for over a year now. "You were fine with Penny. Great, in fact," the brunette treaded slowly. "If this is about what happened with Sofia, you already know-,"

"This is not about Sofia, Callie. We've already settled that."

"Then, what-"

"I was still in love with you!" The words flew out of Arizona's mouth before she could stop them. They hit her ex-wife smack in the face. But it was true. She was still in love with her. She is.

Callie was stunned. This was complete news to her. Never had she seen any signs from Arizona that screamed "I still love you!" in the months she had been with Penny in Seattle. She even showed up to her home with plane tickets for God's sakes!

"You told me to go."

"Because I wanted you to be happy, Callie! That's all I've ever wanted for you. And then you go and tell me I'm suffocating you and walk out, just to fall so in love with another woman a year later, that you wanted to uproot mine, yours, and Sofia's life to move across the country with her!" Arizona was yelling now. So many things she had never said rushing out of her mouth in white, hot anger.

"Oh, you wanted me to be happy? Really? Is that why you left me standing in the middle of the airport pleading with you not to leave me? Or why you blamed me and pretty much verbally abused me after I saved your life? Oh, and it must have been why you cheated on me after all the love and support and patience I gave you following your amputation?" Callie fired back. Similar to Arizona, so many years worth of things left unsaid were now spewing from her mouth, unable to be held back any more.

"You didn't want to come with me! You were so unhappy about going to Africa, Callie, and you made that painfully obvious."

The brunette shook her head furiously.

"And you know I wasn't myself after the crash, Callie. I was depressed. I was struggling with PTSD. I still do sometimes, and you know that! And I thought you had cut of my leg after you had promised you wouldn't. Not Alex!" The words came out harshly. Hearing Arizona admit she had been depressed and struggling cutting into Callie's heart like a dagger. She'd known it, mentally, but she'd never heard her verbally admit it. And it hurt. "I thought you didn't love me, Callie. I thought I had no one, and I thought you were only still with me out of pity. You saw the Arizona you fell in love with and you wanted her back so badly you pushed me to get better, and I tried, Callie," Arizona inhaled so deeply, her lungs burned and tears stung at the corners of her eyes as she looked back on how she'd felt during that time. "I tried so fucking hard, but it didn't work," Arizona's voice cracked and it grabbed Callie's attention. "Because I was never going to be that exact same person again, and you couldn't accept that."

"You came back from the woods, Arizona, but you never really came back. I had just lost Mark and I was scared! I was scared to lose you. I was just trying to help you get better. I didn't want to see you in any more pain." Tears burned Callie's eyes, as they bore into Arizona's, who adverted her gaze after a few seconds with a shake of her head.

"And then, we lost the baby. I lost yet another thing in less than a year. I lost Nick. I lost Mark. I lost my leg. And then i lost our baby, Callie." A single tear broke free and rolled its way down from her eye to her chin. "And then… Lauren showed up. And she saw me. She saw me for who I was after the crash because she didn't know me before. And she was hot, and flirtatious, and persistent, and she liked me. and I lost control. And you never forgave me," Arizona took the chance and dared to look up. All she saw was tearful, pain filled brown eyes and she felt her heart constrict. She didn't want to hurt Callie anymore than she already had, but these things needed to be said. "Even after you asked me to come back home. I was hopeful, but I knew it. Deep down, you were looking for an out. And then my fellowship came up and you got one," Arizona paused, releasing a long breath. Her throat was beginning to feel slightly sore from all the strain being put on it. "And it's okay, Callie. We-we did need a break, as painful as it was for me for the longest time, I understand that now. We needed to grow, and find out who we were after going through all this trauma. So, it's okay, but that doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt."

It was now Callie who adverted her gaze to the floor. Arizona had just poured her heart out to her more than she had every done before, and she was unsure of how to respond.

"I will never forgive myself for what I did to you, to us, on the night of that storm. And I am so deeply, deeply sorry for the way I treated you after the crash, and for every single time I've hurt you. But it is not all on me, Callie."

Finished, the blonde used her hand to wipe away the tears now flowing freely and silently down her face. She turned on her heel, walking around the corner of the beige couch, and plopped her tired and sore body down onto it.

"I did forgive you," Callie replied after a few minutes of painful silence. "But not until I moved here."

The couch dipped as Callie sat her weight down next to Arizona. "Why didn't you ever tell me any of this?"

A dry laugh escaped her throat. "Guilt. And my stubbornness. I felt so horrible for how I treated you after the crash and I thought that telling you how I felt was just another unnecessary burden to put on you," Arizona confessed to her ex.

"How you feel, Arizona, is never a burden. Not to me."

A mute nod from the blonde was all Callie received in response.

"How did we not notice this?"

"What?"

"That we weren't communicating. We just kept trying to go on with our lives as if nothing ever happened," Arizona looked towards the woman sitting to her left. Her blue eyes searched brown, looking for some sort of answer. "We never actually talked through any of what we went through," The blonde shook her head at herself, blonde curls bouncing from side to side. "I guess that's where we went wrong, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess it is," the brunette agreed. They had failed majorly in the communication department following the plane crash. "I guess that's partly because I just didn't want to hear it."

"And my stubbornness," Arizona added.

Callie nodded, and then continued. "After the crash, I just wanted you back. And I thought that if I pushed, it would help you get better faster. I never wanted to make you feel like I didn't love you, Arizona. Of course I loved you. With your left leg and without. I always loved you." 'I still do.'

Callie gazed intently into those cerulean blue eyes, hoping she understood just how much she meant every word she was saying.

"I know," Arizona breathed. "I mean, it took me a long time to realize it, but i know now."

"And then after the cheating," Callie went on. There were still so many things Arizona needed to hear from her. "you were right. I was looking for an out. I just-I couldn't comprehend how you would do something like that to me and constantly trying to get past it while still trying to help you recover, it was suffocating me. And I don't think I realized it till.."

"'Till we took a break," Arizona finished and Callie nodded.

"and i could breath easier."

Arizona nodded. It hurt to hear Callie say those words. It felt like there was a huge lump in her throat and a weight on her chest, but she knew it was the truth.

"Can I ask you a question?" Arizona asked, looking into Callie's honest brown eyes.

"Of course."

Arizona paused for a moment, lips pursed as she thought about how she wanted to word this question. "Why-," the blonde wet her dry lips. "Why did you sleep with me the night before you walked out on therapy?"

Callie took a sharp intake of breath. She had been hoping she'd be able to avoid ever having to answer this because she wasn't sure Arizona would believe the truth.

"Truthfully?" Arizona nodded. "I didn't know I was going to do it until I sat down in that room with you."

Callie received another mute nod in response.

Arizona stared at her hands that were resting in her lap for a few moments, debating whether or not she should tell Callie about the cheating or if she should just keep it to herself as she had been for the last five years. No, Callie needed to know. She deserved to.

"The cheating was never about you, Callie," Arizona's eyes found Callie's again and she hoped she would believe her. "It was about me and my constant need for control. I'd lost so much. And, we'd only lost the baby just a few days before. I was-," She wasn't wording this right. "I felt empty. And when she showed up, and started flirting with me and- we ended up in that on call room alone. It was storming. I hugged her. Then there was thunder. Lightening. And then…I kissed her. I pulled away. Started for the door. My hand was on the handle…and I still remember what she said next. 'You are allowed to lose a little bit of control'. And I guess I just-I snapped. And then I wasn't thinking anymore. I was just..in control of something." As Arizona recalled the events of that fateful night, her gaze stayed glued to the coffee table in front of her as she feared what Callie's response would be.

"You still remember that so clearly?"

Not the response Arizona had been expecting, but it was better than "you disgust me".

"Of course I do," Arizona replied as if it was the most logical thing. "I went over it and over it for months on end, beating myself up over. Disgusted with myself because it wasn't me. That is not the person that I am."

For the first time since of the night of the storm, Callie saw how much the cheated had affected her ex-wife. For so long, she thought she'd been the only one suffering, and after a while she realized she was wrong, but tonight, she actually saw it with her own eyes.

"Why did you," the brunette licked her red lips. "Why did you never tell me this?"

Arizona scoffed. "It didn't excuse what I had done, Callie. I still cheated on you."

"But it wasn't about me. You never told me that it wasn't about me."

"Do you really think you would've seen it that way at the time?"

Callie hesitated. Arizona was right. "Probably not."

"Exactly."

Another moment of silence, though now less painful, passed before Arizona spoke again. "And Callie, you saved my life. And I am so, so grateful. It took me a really, really long time to get to the point where I could see that, but I have. You made the right call. I forgive you."

A huge, grateful grin took over Callie's face, eyes filling with happy tears. "Thank you. I really needed to hear that."

Arizona smiled, and squeezed Callie's right knee.

"And about our baby. Arizona," The two women just seemed to be spewing apologies at each other tonight, but they were needed apologies. "I am so, so sorry for how I went about the situation. I guess- I don't even know why, but I didn't think you'd be so affected by it," Callie shook her head at herself, feeling stupid and selfish. "And that's dumb and horrible to think because of course you'd be affected. It was your baby!"

"Our baby," Arizona corrected. Callie whipped her head around and their eyes locked once again, and Callie swore she could physically feel her heart flutter in her chest. "But it's okay. It's in the past now. You were under a tremendous amount of pressure when it happened. I understand why you reacted the way you did."

"And I was always so proud of you when it came to your career, Arizona," Callie Torres was on a roll tonight- wait, morning. "I know I didn't vocalize it enough, especially not during the whole Africa thing, and I'm sorry. I should have told you how insanely proud of you I was. And am. I mean, you're about to start your own clinic for fetal surgery with Dr. Herman. And that's amazing, Arizona. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did to your fellowship. I was just being selfish, and I am so sorry."

"Actually, Nicole and I have been discussing turning the clinic into a hospital instead. With a more fetal surgery focused aspect to it, but a teaching hospital none the less. But thank you, for telling me that. I really needed to hear it," Arizona nodded, smiling at the brunette.

"It's no problem."

One last thing. "And with Penny, Arizona, please hear me when I say I was stupid for how I acted while I was with her. Like so, completely, high on cocaine stupid," Arizona held back a laugh. "She was not better than you. In any way. I mean, she was a great woman and I did love her but she was just my do-over that I got carried away with. I thought that if I moved on, it would be easier for you to move on as well. And I didn't want to make the same mistakes that I did with you, but the whole relationship was doomed from the start," Callie admitted. "Because she wasn't you."

Arizona adverted from Callie's gaze. "None of them were you," the blonde stated sadly.

Another silence fell over the two women. It was awkward but newly comfortable. So much baggage was now out in the open, and no longer weighing on their chests.

"So, now what?" Callie broke the silence.

"Now…," Arizona drew out. "We're friends and maybe somewhere down the line, something more." She flashed Callie a cheeky smile.

The brunette cocked an eyebrow. "So, we're starting over?"

"Yep. Clean slate."

"I think I can do that," Callie smile.

"So," A wide smile took over the blonde's face, dimples popping. "Ortho, right?"