Chapter 11
Halsey- Without me
Present:
EPOV:
Waking up the first morning in New York was scary, no friends. Just Uncle Cal and his wife Esme. The dreams about Bella only seemed to get worse; memories rocked my sleep all night.
If I could go back 2 years I would do everything different. I was an asshole, but more than that… I ruined the best thing that ever could have happened to me and now I was here, in New York … alone.
Putting on some clothes I brushed my teeth and ran down the stairs to join my family for breakfast.
"Good morning nephew" Carlisle laughed as I walked to the coffee pot.
"Thanks Es… "I groaned swallowing my first sip and giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Are those pancakes for me?"
"Of course they are!" She smiled excited "I always love having you kids here!"
"Hey! Those are mine! This is bullshit he's been here for like 5 hours!" Carlisle yelled
We both laughed and she grabbed my cheeks kissing them both.
"Be a dear and grab a plate for your uncle, Edward"
"Yes Ma'am" I laughed giving Carlisle the finger behind her back.
After a delicious breakfast I helped Esme clean up in the hopes she would feed me this way every day.
"So do you want to talk about whatever it is your running away from?" Carlisle said joining me on the couch a few minutes later
"Nope. Just missed your sorry ass."
"Bullshit. You hate New York." He laughed
"Not as much as I hate myself right now." I sighed
"What the fuck is going on with you E" He sighed "I'm fucking worried, are you in some kind of trouble again? Everything was going so good…"
"No… Fuck no, I'm sorry to worry you." I said patting him on the back
"Ok so it's Bella then…" he laughed
"What the fuck makes you think that?" I scoffed
"Seriously?" He laughed
"Fine. It's Bella." I sighed closing my eyes and resting my head back against the couch.
"So…. you fucked it up." Carlisle stated bluntly
"Yup." I sighed "You know me…. the big fuck up."
"Stop that shit" He growled and slapped him upside the head. "What'd you do?"
"I…. ummmm…"
"Oh, so you were fucking around? You cheated on her?"
"I wouldn't call it cheating…. we weren't like boyfriend and girlfriend"
"Well there's your fucking problem right there. How the fuck old are you Edward? That girl gave you her heart years ago, if the situation was reversed how the fuck would you feel? She trusted you with her heart and you fucked around with some other girl? That's cheating, no matter how you put it. I thought you loved that girl?"
"I do… fuck I really do."
"Well then why did you do it?"
"Look I don't know, the last 6 months before this everything was so good. I did everything right and then one night I got high and just fucked up and she saw and now she fucking hates my guts and is dating this preppy Harvard looking motherfucker who wears polo fucking sweaters and then I hit him because well he touched her fucking ass right in front of me…"
"Whoa slow the fuck down Edward"
Groaning I leaned forward resting my head in my hands. Tears springing to my eyes.
"Hey…." Carlisle softened hearing him choke on a sob. "Edward…. It's gonna be ok we'll figure this out alright?" He said wrapping him in a hug in shock having never seen his nephew break down like this.
"She's just… she's everything and I can't fix it, I lost her and it's just fucking everything to me" he sobbed.
"Relax … were going to figure this out" He sighed pulling his nephew into his arms
BPOV:
"So do you want to come back to mine, we could open a bottle of wine… you could stay the night" Garrett smiled leaning over the passenger seat placing kisses down her neck.
"Oh… thank you but I should really get home, I have a long day at work tomorrow and Ally was kind of waiting on a movie night"
"Ok…." He sighed annoyed sitting back into the driver seat.
"Are you angry…." I asked embarrassed, what the fuck was wrong with me? He had been so sweet to me.
"No, it's cool." He said not making eye contact.
"Ok." She said unclipping her seat belt completely mortified.
"Wait Bella," He sighed gently grabbing her arm before she could exit the car. "Did I do something wrong?" He asked
"What? No why would you think that?"
"It's just, you seem like you're not willing to let this go any further then a kiss or two. I don't want to pressure you at all I just want to make sure your even still interested because its starting to feel like I'm in the friend zone."
"No Garrett… shit I'm sorry I'm just not that experienced dating ya know? I think I just need a litte more time and patience then you are used to." I sighed looking down at my lap embarrassed
"Ok, I'll wait. Just talk to me Bella, don't shut me out ok?" He asked turning to face me pushing some hair away from my face. It was so sweet I grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him into another kiss, smiling so high.
"Thank you Garrett. I'll call you tomorrow"
"Ok baby." He sighed.
Climbing out the car my smile disappeared, my stomach turning at those words coming from his lips. It wasn't right, just didn't belong.
Rushing into the apartment she felt sick. Of course Alice was still wide awake waiting for her.
"How was it!" She jumped up excited
"Fine." I sighed, slipping off my heels and throwing them across the room.
"EASY! Those shoes weren't cheap boo! And what the fuck do you mean Fine?" She laughed walking into our attached kitchen and pouring me a huge glass of wine. "Don't roll your eyes at me from the look on your face I'm gonna say you could use this."
"It was a great date really…." I sighed
"But…." Alice laughed
"He asked me to come back to his apartment and I just wasn't feeling it, when I said no he got all upset and started asking if I like put him the friend zone or something…"
"Well, have you?" Alice laughed
"What no… I mean… maybe… fuck I don't know!" I cried. Tears burst from my eyes and I lost it.
"B… what the hell…. "Alice whispered wrapping her arms around her "What's wrong booboo?"
"He called me baby…." Bella hiccupped between sobs.
"Ok… is this your inner feminist coming out or something? Cause Edward like always called you that and you never cared…" she laughed "Oh shit…." She gasped realizing what she just said.
"I hated it. Like it literally repulsed me Aly. It just felt so wrong"
"It's just so soon B… Edward's only been gone a few weeks" Aly whispered. Bella just sobbed harder.
"I just talked to him today he's sad too B. If you want to move on Bella I totally understand and you have every right, but if you want him to come back all you have to do is call him and ask and I know he would jump at the chance to be with you again"
"No. I can't, he'll never love me the way I love him" She cried
"Oh Bella…" Alice sighed knowing full well it wasn't the truth but couldn't blame her friend for feeling that way. "Listen, maybe you should take some time to get passed this? Dating right now might just be too much, I mean Garrett seems nice and everything but please don't force it B."
"Yea…. maybe your right." Bella sighed.
4 months ago:
BPOV:
In all the years I had been sneaking in this club underage it was the first time I had done so under Edward's arm. The second he saw the dress I chose for the club tonight he insisted we stay home, but I wasn't having it.
Yes, we had been spending more time together without any other girls or bullshit getting in the way, but never out in public, just around our group of friends. I wanted more, and if he didn't want me, I'd prove to him someone else would.
"Do you have any idea how sexy you look?" He groaned biting his fist and groaning, he wrapped his arms around me as we found our way to the bar "I'll get us drinks baby…. stay close to Ro ok?" He whispered in my ear then laid a soft kiss to my neck before walking away.
"Fuck him let's dance…" Rosalie said with an evil smile on her face, grabbing my hand and dragging me onto the dance floor.
We made it through one song when I felt arms wrap around me from behind and a sweat smell that was most certainly not my Edward came over me. I tried to turn around but was pulled back even tighter
"Fucking let me go." I cried
"Ohhhh come on, the way you were dancing all slutty like that… you wanted it" He groaned biting down on my neck as I tried to fight him off.
His teeth sunk into me seconds before I felt arms pull me away. Looking up I realized it was Rosalie holding onto me.
"Are you ok?" She asked
"Yea but ewww… what the fuck was that…."
"Shit Bella… step back "She yelled in panic pushing me back.
Looking up I realized Edward had the guy against the floor with his hands around his neck.
"That's my girl you had your hands on Bro…." He screamed lifting the guys head up and smashing it back against the floor.
"Edward!" I cried reaching for him only for Rose and Ally to pull me back.
The bouncers approached pulling Edward off of him aggressively.
"Wait!" I cried grabbing one of the bouncers arms "That guy he assaulted me, he grabbed me and I asked him to let go and he wouldn't and he bit my neck!" I rambled pointing to the place on my neck that was stinging so badly.
Quickly the bouncers let Edward go and pulled the other from the ground leading him toward the exit. Edward walked toward me hesitantly and I lept toward him.
"Are you ok?" I asked so scared wrapping my hands around his cheeks pulling his face toward mine.
He kissed me so soft and sweet a huge smile on his face.
"I'm fine baby, he didn't touch me" He sighed wrapping his arms around my waist. "Are you ok?" he grimaced his hand grazing over the mark on my neck.
"Yeah… just grossed out." I sighed sinking into him.
"Shhh baby…. come here" He groaned pulling my lips to his. "Thanks for getting me out of trouble baby, that was so fucking cute the way you defended me"
I smiled and laughed, but knew deep down that the kind of violence I had just seen him display was not ok. I wasn't afraid of him, but I was definitely afraid for him.