Greetings All. Having finished one ME story, i was challenged by Combat Engineer to do a fluff piece. So here you are. Language and physical looks aren't the only differences between races. Holidays have to vary also, and in some cases probably don't even translate. Shepard has to try to explain Halloween to her alien crew on the SR-1, with mixed results. Reactions vary from confusion, disbelief, scorn, to excitement. As always this Universe and these characters belong to Bioware, I'm just playing with them. Enjoy.

Lost in the Translator

Shepard

While Mindoir had been a deep space colony still they had celebrated some of earth's holidays. Though Mindoir had a slightly shorter year than that of earth. Shepard had actually never minded because some of her favorite holidays came twice a year.

However once she became a spacer – approximate time was a lot harder to judge, until Tali came to her rescue with a program that could take everything into consideration and match the date aboard the Normandy SR1 to the date on earth.

She'd barely gotten it installed on her omni-tool when she realized that her favorite holiday was coming up. She judged that it would occur right as they were in a long transit between a couple of systems so there would be time to celebrate. With that in mind she went to the mess cook and made arrangements to get the supplies that would be needed for a party.

Some days later she was sitting in the mess in the evening, drinking a cup of an herbal tea.

"Commander?" Came a flanging voice.

She looked up into the blue eyes of the ship's only Turian. It was past dinner so she wondered what had lured him out of the cargo hold. Then giving thought to Wrex – she wondered if he'd been driven out. There were still some rough spots between them.

"Vakarian, I didn't think you ever left the cargo hold." She teased indicating for him to sit down across from her.

He gave a low hum that she thought meant he was amused as his mandibles moved out from his jaws.

"If I didn't then how could I be on the ground team?" He countered and she lifted her cup to him in acknowledgement of his point.

"What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to ask what those two food stasis boxes are doing down in the hold? I thought the mess had it's own storage area." He replied calmly.

"Food stasis?" It took her a moment to realize what he was talking about. "Oh, it's something special I had the mess cook order in. Is there a problem?"

"Well somebody stacked them in front of the heavy duty jacks for the MAKO." He replied. "And since we're due to drop in 12 hours I figure I'm going to need them." He paused and she thought she caught a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Given that you're driving."

"Careful with that talk, Mister." She grumbled back. "I'm the Commanding officer."

"Is it a requirement that Alliance Commanding Officers be that bad at driving?" He inquired calmly, leaving her mouth opening and closing.

She was still getting used to Vakarian. At first he'd seemed to be the stereotypical Turian. Military to the core and a rigid follower of rules with no sense of humor to speak of. But the longer he was aboard the more she realized that he was anything but typical, at least, for his species. Military yes, but he did understand that sometimes the rules didn't cover every situation and that sometimes you had to improvise. As for the sense of humor. He seemed to have a very dry, sarcastic wit that appealed to her. And an unerring ability to deliver some of the funnier innuendos she'd ever heard, all without meaning to. Which, of course, made it even funnier when it was pointed out to him. She hadn't thought that Turians could get embarrassed; but he'd proven her wrong several times now. Though they didn't seem to blush.

"Sorry. I'll have them moved while we're off the ship. Proving to you that I'm a good driver." She added.

"If you say so, Commander."

She glared at him and he just gave her what she was beginning to call – the Innocent Turian Look #1. Which she didn't believe for a minute.

Ignoring her stare, he nodded. Something she thought he was doing more and more since coming aboard.

"By the way?"

"Yes." If it was another smart assed remark about her driving, she was going to give him a piece of her mind.

"What's a pumpkin?" At her surprised look, he explained. "It was on the invoice for the container."

"It's a vegetable. A type of squash." She explained.

"Is it special or something?" He asked.

"Not exactly. Why?"

"There are two fairly large containers of pumpkins down there, Commander. I was just curious."

She looked around to make sure they were alone. The only person she could see was Chakwas over in the med bay.

"I got them for Halloween." She told him quietly.

She got a very confused look and a low trill out of him.

"What's that? My translator just gave out with two hisses and a lot of static."

"It's an earth holiday. You dress in costumes and kids run around asking for candy from everybody." She explained.

If he'd looked confused before now he was completely bewildered. "Costumes, candy? What do pumpkins have to do with that? And why would kids ask for candy from strangers? I thought you humans didn't encourage that kind of thing?"

Right about then Shepard realized that she was going to have to try to explain this to, not only Garrus; but also Tali and Liara, and possibly even Wrex. And also make provisions so that the two dextro's could enjoy the party with everyone else.

She knew Halloween had come from a darker time in earth's history but she left that out and kept it to a simple explanation of a holiday geared to dressing up, eating junk food, and letting kids goof around.

He listened intently; but she got the feeling he thought she was pulling his leg.

"So, if I understand correctly. Everyone dresses as something they're not, eats not so nutritional food, and you feed children sweets." She was sure his sub harmonics must be screaming disbelief.

"Kinda a cold way to look at it; but yes that's basically it."

"Oh, and you disembowel vegetables and cut frightening faces in them."

"Has anyone ever told you you're a killjoy, Vakarian?" She sighed.

"I heard it mentioned a few times in C-Sec." He admitted.

"I wonder why." She said dryly as he stood up.

"I'm not the one gutting vegetables." He threw over his shoulder as he headed back to the cargo hold.

"Smart ass!" She threw after him and thought she heard a soft chuff of amusement.