"I did not expect to see you here."

Hisoka tossed his keys from hand to hand. "Nor did I expect to see you." The clock in the waiting room ticked and tocked behind Leorio. "I'm here to pick up my boyfriend and his dumpster fire family for a 'congratulations you didn't set the school on fire in your first semester which is now over' dinner. Don't get the wrong idea." Though personally, Hisoka would like to see Kalluto and Alluka take down Pariston Hill. The principal was continually a thorn in Illumi's side and no one was allowed to mess with Illumi except Hisoka, and he didn't want to.

Leorio held up his hands. "All I'm saying is therapy could definitely be of use for you."

"Look at your roommate first," Hisoka said, stuffing the keys in his pocket. Snow drifted down outside, visible through the window. Gray sky bloated behind the buildings and skeletal trees of Yorknew. "That boy needs help."

Leorio frowned, adjusting the files in his arms. "Kurapika seems to be doing better lately."

"He's just a better actor now." Hisoka rolled his eyes. He hadn't heard from the Golden Rage Mushroom in the past few months, and neither had Gon and Killua, which was upsetting them, which was frustrating Hisoka because them being upset meant they were less fun to be around. "What are you even doing here, anyways?"

"Oh!" Leorio brightened. "I'm interning part-time after school for Dr. Yorkshire. She's awesome."

"Hopefully not too awesome," Hisoka said in a sing-song voice.

Leorio's eyes narrowed. "Do you have to make everything creepy?"

"It can't be helped if you read double meanings into it," Hisoka replied. He crossed his arms as he took a seat.

Leorio scowled. "Planning on fighting Kastro again?"

"No. I won." Last week. Hisoka didn't really care. All he cared about was that afterwards Illumi kissed him. And the lead up to the fight was mostly him and Illumi fighting each other to train. Illumi was talented. In another world, he could have been a wrestler too.

Voices echoed down the hallway. Hisoka stood. "And that would be them."

"I did not say that!"

"You totally did."

"Well, you paid Kalluto to—"

"If you would just—"

"Niisan, Aniki, Onii-chan, Kalluto—be quiet!"

Alluka still hadn't graduated to saying shut up. She'd get there. In due time. Hisoka smirked.

"Your dumpster fire boyfriend is here," called Leorio.

Hey. Hisoka narrowed his eyes. Okay, Leorio wasn't wrong.

"Ah, you came," Illumi said, rubbing his eyes. "On time."

Hisoka snickered. "There's a first time for everything."

"You're like an old married couple," Leorio observed.

The fuck? Hisoka threw several cards at him. Leorio yelped. The files and papers flew everywhere, snowing inside just like outside. "Oops," said Hisoka. Illumi smiled in his eyes even though his lips stayed flat.

"Leorio!" cried out Killua.

"Let me help!" Dr. Yorkshire hurried over, crouching next to him.

"Farewell," Hisoka said, winking at Leorio. His face swelled purple.

"You know," said Illumi as they stepped outside. The wind blew his hair across his face. "Dr. Yorkshire said you could come to a session. Since you're basically a part of our family now."

"I don't talk about the past." Not with anyone but Illumi, that is. And only rarely, and usually after several drinks and/or sex. It didn't matter. But he didn't necessarily mind. He wanted all of Illumi, and that meant he had to give Illumi all of him, and that meant—well, there was no telling what that meant. Exhilarating. And it made him feel alive, way more than beating Chrollo would have.

Illumi regarded him solemnly. "You don't have to."

Hisoka frowned.

"The doctor would just commit him," teased Killua. Kalluto kicked him in the shins. "Ow!"

"Sorry," said Kalluto, face as pink as his eyes.

Was that the first time Kalluto directly opposed Killua? How interesting. They piled into Illumi's SUV, the one Hisoka had borrowed most of the day, and Hisoka couldn't resist. "So what did you talk about?"

"Me," said Killua, sounding sad.

Illumi caught his breath. Hisoka noticed how Illumi's hands twisted in his lap, tightening until the knuckles were white.

"I'm so sick of talking about me," Killua whispered.

"That was the point," said Milluki, bored. "Of that conversation, Killua."

Hisoka glanced in the rearview mirror. Killua pulled his knees up to his chest. He looked outside at the gray sky, the snow tumbling down. "About you being the favorite?"

"Shut up," said Killua.

"It's not your fault," Illumi said. "Dr. Yorkshire—"

"Anyone can say it, and I'll still feel like it is."

Illumi looked as if he was being stabbed with needles. "Well, it's not."

"We don't blame you for it," piped up Kalluto. Alluka leaned her head against the window, reaching out to rub Killua's shoulder.

"Like Dr. Yorkshire said," said Illumi. "We all matter."

Hisoka bit his lip. Interesting. Was that something Illumi actually believed now, or was only doing because he thought he should believe it? Or because he wanted to believe it? Did it matter?

Killua wiped at his eyes, angry. "But I didn't ask to be born—made their favorite—"

"Yeah, but you were," said Milluki. "Like when I'm playing a video game and you get these abilities you didn't plan on. And you used them to help win. And you used that to help Alluka. And now we're all out, so." He let out his breath. "Even if our parents hate us."

"You're far more responsible with that power than I was," said Illumi. "I'm proud." His face colored as if he wasn't sure whether that was okay to say. Hisoka could already hear his internal monologue: is that controlling? Am I still I just trying to make him the best again?

"I still forgot about Kalluto," Killua pointed out.

To be fair, Hisoka thought a lot of that family had forgotten Kalluto. Which was a shame. The kid was bright and fun.

"You haven't in awhile," said Kalluto. "Like you and Gon helped me and Alluka break into Pariston's office last night."

"Excuse me?" Illumi erupted.

"Oops." Kalluto bit his nail.

Hisoka guffawed. He could guess that someone else helped them too. A bitter pink poodle of a woman. "What did you do?"

"Let's just say it looks like a scene out of Carrie, but it's paint," Kalluto said, sounding proud.

Not bad. Hisoka nodded, speeding up for a yellow light. "Good job."

"Hisoka," snarled Illumi.

Hisoka pulled into the restaurant parking lot. A girl with smooth hair and large eyes waved at Killua, who waved back but with a frown.

"Who's that?" asked Milluki.

"Palm. The senior Gon went out with once." Killua stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"She's cute," commented Milluki.

"Ew."

"The one you're jealous of?" Hisoka couldn't resist asking. Illumi turned, a look on his face Hisoka hadn't seen in years. He swallowed a laugh.

"I'm not jealous; she's just a stalker! Like for real, she's been suspended before for it!"

"You stalked their date," Kalluto announced. He giggled when Killua shoved him.

"Yeah, because it was Gon! The idiot has no idea what dating involves!" Killua scowled. Snow landed in his hair.

Hisoka glanced at Illumi, whose face was a definite mask of disguised terror.

"If Killua ever goes on a date," Illumi proclaimed later that night. "I am going to do exactly what he did to Gon and he can't even be mad at me for it."

"He can and he will be," Hisoka pointed out, flopping down on their bed. He put his place on the market the week before.

Illumi gritted his teeth. "Maybe I should reconsider this public school thing."

Hisoka arched his brows. "Really?"

"No." Illumi groaned, clutching his skull. He dropped down next to Hisoka. "Miss Krueger is not someone I want to pick a fight with."

"Well, the pressure's off," Hisoka pointed out. "As of two weeks ago, your parents had their parental rights terminated." Zeno still had visitation monthly, supervised, but Kalluto, Killua, and Alluka didn't mind that.

Mike barked downstairs. Hisoka scowled. I'm living with my boyfriend and three, technically four, kids, and a dog. That was supposed to be the most boring of lives.

It's not.

"Doesn't matter," Illumi said, scowling at him and propping himself up on his elbows. "It's not even her, I suppose. I really—don't want them to hate me. Not any of them."

"They don't," said Hisoka. "Not even Killua. Sometimes he wants to punch you, like okay a lot, but he doesn't hate you."

"Well, none of them hate you either," Illumi responded.

"How could they? I'm fun." Hisoka bit his lip.

Illumi gave him a skeptical look. He pulled out his phone. "Oh, Chrollo said that the article about the insurance company being sold comes out tomorrow. I wish someone would record my father's face."

Hisoka snickered. "Is that a request?"

"I can't help how you interpret things."

The company was sold, but Illumi was going to be able to stay on in his current position. So were Gotoh, Canary and Amane, Tsubone—all of the long-time employees Illumi actually argued for despite having treated them like trash most of his life.

Illumi tapped his chin like he was thinking. Hisoka took that as a no. Because somewhere Illumi still wanted their approval, didn't he? But he wouldn't get it, and he'd accepted that, mostly. It just still stung.

Mike whined. Illumi rolled his eyes and hauled himself up, heading down the stairs. The dog pawed at the door. "If you get snow on my floor I will skin you," Illumi warned as he let Mike outside. "He probably misses my parents."

"Hm, your parents seem to have treated him better than you guys."

"No," said Illumi, watching Mike dart through the snow. "Not better. Just like we were one of—just like him. Like pets." He went to brew coffee despite it being close to midnight.

Hisoka rolled his eyes. "Does that make Killua the prized puppy?"

"I suppose." Illumi sighed. "It really was unfair to him, raising him like that—with all those expectations. For me, they just had test after test where I'd score 'acceptable' and they'd be uncertain about whether or not they'd let me run the company. When Killua was appointed that, I was fifteen—and I was relieved."

"And?" Hisoka prompted.

"Disappointed." Illumi wrinkled his news. He dumped three tablespoons of sugar into Hisoka's cup again. "But no one was allowed to be."

Hisoka closed the door behind the stupid dog, who did indeed track mud over the floor. Illumi put on his emotionless mask again, as if struggling not to erupt.

"He is the best in some ways," said Illumi, pouring the coffee. "He freed us."

"He's just a kid," said Hisoka. "Like Gon. And Kalluto and Alluka. They have untapped potential that we have no idea about." And he felt excited to see it. Hisoka dumped half a carton of milk into his coffee. Illumi's lips curled. "But if this is all you've got, well, it's good enough to keep me entertained."

"Thanks. I feel loved."

Illumi's deadpan never ceased to work wonders. Hisoka laughed. "You know I've always found expectations dull, but I do expect not to be bored. I have no worries about it, actually."

Illumi sipped his coffee. "You know, that recording you made helped my case."

"I heard." Hisoka shrugged. "I'm glad."

"Entertained?"

Yes—no? Not quite. This was new, and exciting. "Just glad."

Illumi wrapped his hands around his mug.

"Hey," said Hisoka, an idea churning in his mind that Leorio finally gave him an excuse to throw out there. Just for fun, of course. "Remember what that dumbass friend of Killua's said today?"

"Which one?"

"The thing about being married."

"Oh. Yeah. I mean, I suppose we live together now," Illumi said. "So—"

"Why don't we?" Hisoka asked, gulping his hot coffee ice cream.

"Huh?" Illumi blinked.

"Marry me," Hisoka said. "I'd marry you. It'd be fun. We could plan a wedding. Your siblings could take part. And imagine your father reading some big-ass engagement announcement in Chrollo's newspaper."

"The day Chrollo writes another article about you is the day pigs fly, Hisoka."

"That's where Kalluto comes in handy," Hisoka corrected. "So how about it, Illumi? Will you marry me?"

Illumi paused. "Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Well, then," said Illumi. "Yes."

"Great," said Hisoka, a smile breaking over his face. "So we're engaged."

"Fiancé." Illumi tugged his hair. "I like it." He picked up his phone again and tapped out a text to Chrollo. We're engaged.

"Don't specify what to do," Hisoka advised, setting his cup down. "It's more fun to see how he handles it on his own. He can diss me if he wants."

"Well, it's not okay with me if he slanders you." Illumi's eyes glittered, huge and dark.

Hisoka liked hearing that. "Poor Chrollo," Hisoka said. "Forever alone. He deserves it, but I hope it makes him desperate." That would be hilarious. Who would Chrollo go after? Machi? She'd kill him. Shizuku? She had the emo aesthetic. Or one of the guys?

Illumi shook his head. He set his phone down and reached out, dragging Hisoka onto him. Something jabbed into Hisoka's thigh. "If you're my fiancé," he said. "Is fiancé sex better?"

"Hm." Hisoka dove down, plastering his mouth over Illumi's. Illumi pulled him closer.

"Niisan?"

"Hey, Aniki."

"Aniki."

"Niisaaaaaan."

Light scalded Hisoka's eyes like boiling water. He jerked awake, ready to murder whoever turned that goddamn light on without so much as a—

"What the fuck?" Illumi demanded, wide-eyed despite them streaming from the light. He blinked rapidly. "What's the matter?"

Alluka and Kalluto carried paper in their hands. Killua leaned back against the wall, a smile on his face. Milluki stood by the light switch. Hisoka pinned him with his gaze. You. It was still dark out, for crying out loud. The clock read 5:58 am.

Alluka thrust the paper at them. "Congratulations!"

"I don't follow," Illumi rasped. He glanced at Hisoka. "Oh. That's right. We got engaged."

"And we're happy about it," said Kalluto, gesturing to the paper, which was a homemade card. "Amazingly."

"Alluka made us stay up all night to make muffins from scratch to congratulate you," Killua offered.

Hisoka sniffed the air. Ah, that explained the slightly acrid smell.

"I disabled the fire alarm," Milluki said.

Illumi rubbed his forehead. "I don't understand."

"We wanted to celebrate with you," Alluka informed him, beaming. Hisoka bit back a smirk.

"Oh." Illumi looked lost. He glanced to Hisoka.

Hisoka had to chuckle at how dense this man was. "Illumi, this is a good thing. They're happy for you."

"Oh!" Illumi turned back to them. "I—"

Kalluto hugged him, and then Alluka, and then Killua. Hisoka watched with a smirk. Illumi looked shocked.

"I'm glad you're my brothers," Alluka declared.

"Me too," Illumi said softly. "I'm… glad."

"You too now!" Alluka crowed, turning to Hisoka.

"I don't hug," Hisoka said, backing up. Nope. Not happening. That was one limit he would not cross.

"Good," said Killua in relief.

"Sad," said Alluka, but she stopped. She clapped her hands. "I'm so happy!"

Her smile really could create world peace. Silva and Kikyo were bastards. Hisoka had a few ideas of what to do with them, but he would refrain. For now. Although...

"I have a question," Hisoka said. "How did you find out? Because I don't believe we told you since it happened only about five hours ago."

"Milluki told us," said Kalluto.

"Mm," Killua agreed, crossing his arms over his head.

Hisoka turned to Milluki. "And how did you find out?"

"I overheard," Milluki said, sweat shining on his face.

"The door to the basement was closed," Illumi pointed out.

"Okay," Milluki said. "I maybe—have some recorders in the kitchen—and the living room—for my YouTube channel."

"Your what?" Illumi demanded.

"This is the first I've heard of it," Killua said, gaping at his brother.

Milluki turned pale.

"And what is the name of this YouTube channel?" Hisoka asked innocently.

Milluki took a step towards the door. "Rainbow Pennywise?" His voice came out a squeak.

"Who's Pennywise?" whispered Alluka.

"No one," Kalluto said as Hisoka rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck.

"It has more subscribers than your channel does!" Milluki shouted. "Now the world knows—"

"How long?" Hisoka demanded, inching closer.

"Since you started dating, idiot!"

Hisoka leaped up and at him. Killua doubled over laughing.

Kalluto's phone rang. The kid answered. "Chrollo? Yeah. It's true."

Hisoka relented from killing Milluki to listen to this. His heart beat faster. He could only imagine Chrollo's reaction.

Kalluto held out the phone. Illumi took it. "Hello? Chrollo? Yeah… yeah. Mm."

Hisoka couldn't resist. He snatched the phone away from Illumi. "Hello, Lucilfer. You can't talk to my trophy husband now."

Illumi scowled up at him.

"You two deserve each other," Chrollo said derisively.

"Thank you. And sorry about your perpetually blue balls." Hisoka hung up.

Killua yelped, covering Alluka's ears. Kalluto just looked disgusted.

Kurapika and Leorio stopped by later with Gon, ostensibly to see Killua after several months.

"Wow!" shrieked Gon. "That's—uh—that's—something?" He rubbed the back of his head and grinned up at them.

"Sorry, Killua," Leorio said, curling his lip as he looked at Hisoka and Illumi.

"Congratulations," Kurapika offered quietly. His eyes, gray and cloaked with contacts, looked empty.

"Wasn't your dad coming today, Gon?" asked Killua.

"Yeah, but he cancelled again." Gon shrugged, crouching to pat Mike.

What a prick. Hisoka swung at Gon. Gon caught his hand, dodging. "Well done," Hisoka told him.

Gon smiled.

"Weddings are complicated," Illumi mused that night, rubbing his temples as he stared at his laptop, sitting cross-legged on their bed.

"We could just go and sign some papers."

Illumi frowned. And then the corners of his lips turned up. "Ah." He turned back to the computer, seemingly satisfied with Hisoka's offer. "My siblings wouldn't agree to that though. They'll want a wedding. There are a lot of other things to consider, too. Like a prenup, or—"

"Sure," said Hisoka. "You can have all my money if I die or we get divorced."

"I think that's a will, and I think prenups are to establish the opposite."

Hisoka rested his chin on Illumi's head. Stop working and kiss me. "Yeah, but I don't care. You can have it." He paused. "Although…"

"Although?" Illumi glanced up at him.

"If your siblings ever turn the lights on as a way of waking me up again, I'm divorcing you. And them. So make sure they don't." Hisoka wondered about asking to shut down Milluki's YouTube channel. Nah. The competition had already commenced and he had Illumi's cooperation.

"Mm," said Illumi. "I believe that'd be controlling, wouldn't it?"

Hisoka snorted. "Tell me, Illumi, why you're marrying me." I know why. I just want to hear you say it.

"Because," Illumi said with a frown. "I want to." He bit his lip. "This isn't just for fun, is it? Or for a show?"

Hisoka blinked. "Of course not."

Illumi smirked at how quickly he'd denied it.

"You frustrate the shit out of me," said Hisoka, inching closer. "And I can't understand you." He was ice, and Hisoka was fire. He could put him out, and he could melt him. But they worked together. How very interesting.

"So you'll spend your life studying me?"

Hisoka leaned closer. I guess.

"If I tell people you proposed they'll think you're in love with me," Illumi taunted.

"Manipulator," Hisoka replied immediately. Illumi looked chastised. "You can just ask me."

Illumi scoffed. "You'd never give me a straight answer."

"But that's what you want."

Illumi looked up at the ceiling and swallowed. "No. I don't need it."

That wasn't what I asked. You still want to hear it, don't you? From Killua, from Milluki, from Kalluto, Alluka too. From your parents. Hisoka leaned closer to Illumi, nibbling on his earlobe. "Maybe I do."

Thank you for reading! This was a fun fic to write.

Anyways, since Illumi and now Hisoka have had their fics, there will be a third fic about Chrollo. With of course copious amounts of Hisoillu. I hope to have it up in the next week or so!