A Christmas' Reunion

The shield bounced back on the HYDRA-bot - a giant green robot that looked pretty much like an octopus - but not before giving it a severe dent. The robot turned its huge glowing head and started to walk - or slide or whatever it was that it used to move - away.

"Shuya! Don't let him escape!" yelled Steve.

"Don't worry, Cap, I'm on it!" the Wakandan girl chimed in his com with her beautiful singing accent. "Okay, Vero, like we practiced!"

The teenage girl had the Hulkbuster climb to the top of the nearest building and at Cap's signal, she threw herself and the suit through the air in the direction of the HYDRA-bot's head. As soon as her foot left the roof, the suit transformed and became a ball of metal, completely smooth - and more unbreakable than ever. The ball pierced the armor of the robot entering it in one side and getting out on the other.

Shuya immediately reversed back the suit to its humanoid form and landed on both of her feet.

"Cap! Catch!"

The right hand disappeared to let her favorite tool - a harpoon - get out. She threw it at Steve who caught it and steadied his stand. Shuya activated her thrusters in her robotic boots and started flying around the robot. After three turns around its eight legs, she came back near Steve, took back the end of her harpoon and pulled while Steve threw his shield again. The robot stumbled and the shield achieved to send it to the floor, Steve being careful about it falling on the emptied avenue and not into the buildings.

"Yeah, we did it!" shouted Shuya as soon as the HYDRA-bot was down.

She lifted her helmet, revealing her abundant curly mane and her giant goggles that allowed her to see what was happening outside the suit no matter what form it currently had taken.

Steve Rogers, the former Captain America - though she couldn't get used to that idea, especially since Queen Shuri had a new vibranium round shield forged for him - was a bit less exited than she was.

"Let's hope it was the last one in that state."

They had been chasing these robots for months now. With half the population gone, the countries all around the world had rapidly fallen into chaos and you can bet that HYDRA had seized the damn opportunity to kick off a rule of terror.

"Steve... Look."

The blonde looked up at Shuya who had her hand cupped. He briefly wondered why before she caught another white star. A third one landed on his nose. It was snowing.

"Christmas is for tonight, after all" the girl mused.

"You want to go back home?" he asked her.

Shuya took off her goggles and stared wearily at him.

"We both know that it's not what I want. Cap, it's been five years. We can't keep doing this, it's ridiculous."

"I know but-"

"Please, Cap, you have to speak with Tony."

Steve took a deep breath.

"Please" repeated Shuya.

He looked one more time to her then to the seventeenth HYDRA-bot they had taken down - or was it the eighteenth? - and sighed.

"You're right. It is Christmas after all."

"Sir, Captain Rogers and Ms Shuya are at the doors. Should I let them him?"

The man shivered.

"Steve...?"

His father, Howard Stark, found the Tesseract while looking for Captain America and he, the son, found Captain America himself. Not in person of course. Not even via one of his numerous companies. But as soon as he heard the news - not one hour after the Captain was found trapped in the ice - he gave nearly unlimited credits to SHIELD and watched over Steve's recovery from close.

He only met him in person during the Chitauri's invasion - landing next to the living legend in Berlin where they had Loki pinned down, trying to stay casual, keeping his voice even when he saluted him, "Captain", as if it was not his father's hero and his own hero - and their paths diverged right after that. But that didn't mean he didn't keep looking after him. Especially after SHIELD fell.

When the battle of the helicarriers happened, he wasn't there - he had his own problems to deal with. But as soon as he learned what Steve had gone through, he flew to DC to the hospital where he was recovering. Tony was here when Steve woke up. When he told him about the Winter Soldier - about how he had discovered that his best friend had been spending the last seven decades as a brainwashed assassin. He was here to listen to Steve's story and why he had felt so distant during the battle of New York - because Steve wasn't just out of time, he was also out of friends.

"Okay, no more independence Cap" had said Tony with a mild smile, "from now on, we're roommates." He stopped for one second before waving his hand around. "Also, there's probably gonna be Barton and Romanoff too. Sorry for that but they just appeared in the Stark Tower last night."

"By the Stark Tower, you mean-"

"Yeah, that big ugly building" smiled Tony.

Steve laughed. It made Tony felt warm inside. The guy was really full of surprises - not the last one to roast Tony, too, but in the billionaire genius philanthropist's point of view, it was actually a plus.

They formed a good team, all the Avengers together. Yet Tony couldn't help but think Steve and he formed a great team. Steve had his flaws (believe it or not) amongst which the fact that he was never wrong and still managed to be Tony's closest friend - maybe more than Rhodes. Tony was willing to do so much for Steve. He knew Steve could handle himself and didn't need his help but that was exactly the way Tony was: as he grew closer to his new friend, he couldn't let him out of his sight, couldn't let him fight his own battles alone.

The voice of Rogers suddenly resonated within the vast room, taking him back to the present.

"Tony, are you here?"

He and Shuya moved forward into the room. It used to be the common room, the one with the giant balcony on their right - that Shuya was currently ogling at with envy - where they would "assemble" after a mission. Now the room was almost devoid of any furniture - and memories. The Avengers Tower had been sold long ago yet it seemed that in these hours of despair, Tony had chosen to return to it.

Steve spotted the slim figure of that not-so-tall man, turning his back on them. Suddenly, the giant TV screen on the wall lighted up and showed a footage of an early Avengers mission, so many years ago. Through a amateur camera, Captain America was being seen falling through the air before Iron Man caught him. Then the man threw the Captain again, towards the plane they were trying to stop.

"Do you remember?" asked Tony, finally turning to face him.

Steve smiled tenderly at the remembrance.

"Yeah, Boston. A crazy Russian spy."

"We had actually worked on that technique."

Steve nodded, thinking back at all their sparring sessions and training together. All the techniques every Avenger invented with one another so they could be even more efficient and no matter who they were with. As Cap had trouble landing safely after a fall from the heaven, Tony had decided that he would always be the one to catch him, no matter the circumstances.

"We did and it worked."

Tony rubbed the back of his neck and kept staring at the screen. Steve drew his attention back to it and saw that it was now showing news (the sound was still muted though).

"They made fun of you, after that" Tony continued, pointing at the old footage. "Cap out of his time, shouldn't try to fit in this one, blah blah blah."

The blonde shrugged.

"So what? That's what the media does. I usually don't pay attention."

Tony stared at the man. Just as he had defended him after the Potomac's battle - because there were obviously some morons to keep believing that Captain America was responsible for the fall of SHIELD - he defended him against the media. Maybe more than he had done with agent Romanoff. He just couldn't bear the though of people laughing at Cap. Not at that man, not at that lonely, pure-of-heart man.

Tony cared so much about Steve and Steve... He just used him, didn't he?

The brunet shook his head sourly.

"Yeah, exactly. You didn't pay attention. You never pay attention, anyway."

Tony went down the few steps coming from the bar, towards the two fighters still standing in the entry way - Shuya had took off her suit so that Veronica was waiting for her at the first floor.

"You just do whatever it is that you want to do and then you say it was right because you decided it."

Steve stiffened and closed his fists.

"What do you mean? What is this all about Tony?" he asked, frowning.

Tony raised his hands like he was defending himself.

"Me? I don't mean anything. You came here."

Steve tilted his head in mild irritation but before he could replied, Tony continued:

"But since you're here, tell me: how's the life of the righteousest man on Earth going? Pretty well I assume? Do you pay attention to the world falling into chaos or-?"

"Enough!"

Without thinking, Steve had grabbed Tony's wrist - Tony always waved his hands when he was talking, in this delicate manner that Steve had grown to love watching because it was less about Tony showing off or being cocky than Tony being sensitive.

The brunet looked briefly at his grip, almost puzzled, before shaking it off and turning away on his heels.

"Tony!" Steve called him back, "Seriously, what game are you playing at? I came here to talk to you because I thought- God, Tony! Yes, I pay attention to the world! Everyday, I prevent the new regimes to either fall into HYDRA's hand or into another military tyranny. I try and I spend my days trying!"

Tony wasn't looking at him anymore. Of course he knew. Even after the Civil War happened, he always looked after his friend. Hell, he was the reason that Cap and the other rogue Avengers weren't that much pursued after their escape from the prison. Tony covered their tracks because he didn't want Steve to be alone again.

But he guessed that there would always be someone to follow him. To follow the living legend he helped stay both alive and a legend.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" he asked out of sudden, facing the teenage girl who was accompanying Captain America.

"I'm Shuya" said the girl. "I come from Wakanda." She blushed. "I'm sorry, Mr Stark, I've been using Veronica since the battle against Thanos. I wanted to ask you your permission but I, er, never could find you."

If she was using the Hulkbuster then... Tony buried his face in his hands. Oh god, not Bruce, no. He had been hoping - for five years, he had desperately been hoping because once they lost the Hulk for two whole years - that Dr. Banner was still alive. But now he had confirmation that he wasn't. Another one to add to the list...

"Tony, listen."

Steve took a step in his direction, reaching out with his hand and Tony didn't move away. But the blonde didn't touch him, he just offered his open palm as both a gesture of peace and authority - he did that kind of gesture when he wanted people to follow exactly his lead. It was his Captain America gesture.

"I know you're still bitter about the Accords but I-"

And then, that was it. The gesture, the tone, the Accords that he couldn't care less about... Tony snapped.

"I thought you were coming back!" he shouted. "I waited and I- and I hoped! Because you said that whatever was up there, we'd fight it together. But I was alone! Alone with just the kid and-"

He bit his lips. What was the point? Why did he go through all this trouble? - trying to keep Steve's name clean no matter what, trying to protect him, to cover him. Hoping that Steve would realize how much he owed Tony and that he would finally come back to him. Come home.

But Tony ended up fighting Thanos alone.

"You know what? You're right. There is no point in that meeting."

He felt so tired. Five years that he was trying to hold it together, all alone with his pain, his grief - and his overwhelming guilt.

He retired to the balcony and was glad that Steve made no attempt to follow him - or argue with him.

His life started as a real mess. His friends were his trading partners or his father's old pals (not much better). His lovers didn't stay the same two nights in a row. His purpose in life was to have fun, maybe make his father proud in the after life. Basically, nothing's worth fighting for - and even more, nothing worth for someone else to fight for him either.

But after Afghanistan, everything changed. Pepper showed him that he could truly, deeply love. The Avengers became his friends, people he could rely on and people that were - most of the time - glad he was around. Steve especially, proved him how much he could care about others. Because Tony cared a lot.

He cared so much he actually ended up thinking his friends' happiness rested on his shoulders.

When Wanda's dreams hit them all hard, he helped Barton getting the Avengers to his farm. Steve didn't open to him about his dream but he knew enough to guess; he could also remember every word Ultron uttered to his friend. "The man who thinks he could live without a war." That was Steve's nightmare, the demons that were hunting him - the thought that it could be true, that he would never be able to let the war behind him. Thus Tony cared so much about Steve that he captured Steve's demons and put them along with his own. He tried to end the war - once and for all - for Steve - and nearly got them all killed in the process.

Tony hunted Steve's demons and it nearly destroyed the whole team.

However, he didn't realize it at that time - he didn't understand that it may not have destroyed the team but that it had destroyed Steve's faith in him. It was only when the Accords and its controversy happened that Tony saw that Steve didn't trust his hands to be safe anymore.

I cared too much I blinded myself.

The brunet lifted his head towards the sky. Despite the snow, it was a clear deep blue sky. The stars could even been spotted. The snowflakes came down lightly from the cerulean ceiling like an illusion - like a whisper. Wherever they landed, they immediately melted. Tony caught one in his palm and watched it disappear slowly.

He could hear the arguing in the other room - apparently, that girl Shuya had one of a strong personality - and after a while, the sash door slid and Steve stepped out on the balcony. Tony didn't look at him, busy opening and closing his hand - and each time, he closed it on a snowflake and opened it to nothing.

"The first time you said you were going to catch me, I got a bit afraid, I admit it."

Steve came leaning on the railing, next to him, watching over the silent, sleeping city - they both knew the calm was only apparent though.

"I was aware of my weight - I'm not a 90 lbs guy anymore - and I couldn't figure how you could catch me and not have me bringing you down with me. Turned out you knew exactly what you were doing. As always."

Startled, Tony raised his eyes to meet his and saw that the blonde was gently smiling at him.

"I know it's been over seven years now but I want to say it... I'm sorry, Tony."

He put a firm hand on his shoulder and Tony could feel all that super-soldier warmth - pretty nice actually, as he was kind of freezing out there (he wouldn't admit it though. Especially to Steve.)

"I know what you were trying to do but I- I think I just got scared for Bucky, you know? I saw the governments ready to take him in and I... I admit, I panicked. I couldn't let anyone lock him up in a cage again. I mean, did you see how they treated him in Berlin? It was-"

"I know."

That was it; right here - that was the whole story. Even when Captain America was being selfish, even when he was putting civilians at risk, he still managed to do "the right thing": saving his victim of a long lost and brainwashed best friend. How did Tony ever hope he could argue against him?

Still, he tried to stop the two friends himself so that no one else would be involved, no one else would get hurt. And he stopped anyone to go chase after them when the fight was over. All of this at the risk of his own safety - his own credibility.

Damn Steve. How much did he let the man take advantage of him.

"I know, Steve, I saw it. You're right. You're always so damn right. Even since the beginning. My father wouldn't shut up about you and when I got to finally meet you I figured that he didn't lie. Captain America. So. Damn. Right."

He took a brief inspiration. It was almost as if he had been proud of Rogers; proud that the legend lived to it, proud to make everyone shut up about him, proud to be around Cap because it made him feel like he was becoming a better man. Proud because he helped Steve to fit in the 20th century so that people could get a glimpse of the man behind the mask - into that huge heart of his.

"Well" Tony continued, "the sad new is, I, on the other hand, am not. I'm nothing like you. Never was."

Maybe, he thought, if he made himself irreplaceable, Steve would stay forever at his side. Steve was so good while he was so not that he wanted Steve to feel like he needed Tony near him. To fit in that new word. To stop being lonely. To fight alongside friends.

Now, Tony could see it: it was all but a disillusion. Steve never needed him.

He needed Steve.

"Tony, please, don't be too hard on yourself, you-"

The brunet turned to face him, shaking his head with irritation.

"Stop your bullshit Rogers, you don't understand. I'm not like you. I couldn't resist. I let him convince me. And so I did it."

Steve's eyebrows furrowed.

"You did... what exactly?" he asked, starting to get suspicious - but Tony wasn't listening anymore, his words were flowing down freely out of his mouth.

"I did it because I didn't know better. Because you weren't there to tell me what was the right thing to do. And the kid- I wanted so badly to save Peter! I swear! I thought that I could control it. I knew they would all come back eventually, but I didn't realize... I didn't realize that it would actually feel so wrong. And that it would be so difficult for the rest of the world, too."

He stopped to catch his breath and looked. Steve had taken one step backward and was staring at Tony with the biggest frown on his face that Iron Man had ever seen. His voice was calm but cold as ice.

"What did you do." He asked.

The brunet sighed.

"I did the snapping. Everyone disappearing... that was me. I did it."

The eyes of the blonde widened in horror.

"What the-"

Then he fully understood and completely lost it.

"The fuck Tony! THE. FUCK. What did you even-?! How could you even! All these people- And it's been five years! FIVE FRICKING YEARS TONY!"

Steve kept yelling at him, pacing furiously the balcony, not even trying to finish his sentences - he was letting his frustration speak for him and anyway, it wasn't like there was anything relevant to say about that or nothing that Tony hadn't already told himself.

So, as always, Steve was right.

Seriously, why did Tony ever care about that righteous asshole?

Steve was still mad at him, blaming him for not telling him any of that and Tony felt tired again. He bent over the railing, burying his face in the hollow of his elbows, allowing the snow to be the only cool touch on his hands while his tears streamed down his face like a burning hell - where he was sure to go now.

Steve was blaming him for the lies but wasn't he the one that lied to him in the first place? Even after the fight at the airport, Tony still cared enough to fly directly to Alaska to help him deal with Zemo. And that's where he had to discover - he fucking had to discover from their enemy - that not only did Bucky murder his parents but also that Steve knew all along. Steve knew all along! What more could Tony do? He had a heart but a single fucking one - and Steve already broke it when he refused Tony's help at the airport.

Tony was wrong, Steve was right - the perfect summary of their relationship.

The man wondered, though, how that must feel, standing so high above everyone else. Because that sure was-

"Stop it."

Before he could even realize it, Steve had his arms wrapped around him and he could feel his breath in his neck. He could feel his tears in the back of his neck. Hear his voice directly in his ear.

"I love you Tony. So stop beating yourself up."

And Tony got too shocked to even keep crying - let alone to reply.

"I'm sorry I got mad, it slipped out of me. I'm truly sorry. I know what you've been through and I'm so glad you're even alive."

The embrace lightened and Tony finally managed to glance at Cap wiping the tears off his face. He still couldn't utter a word.

"You were the one who was right. I hid the truth from you. I ran away with Bucky and I put everyone at risk instead of trusting you."

The blonde took a deep breath.

"But I'm here, now. We're back together and we haven't lost yet - hell, even if we have to lose again, I'll make damn sure we'll still do it together this time. So, tell me, where's Thanos?"

Tony opened his mouth. And then shut it. He shook his head, trying to process everything that had just happened within the last three seconds. Too much, seriously, damn too much.

"He... He's gone too. He disappeared along everyone else."

Steve raised an eyebrow - out of surprise this time.

"Oh. Well, that's gonna make our task easier."

He started to walk towards the door to the common room not even realizing he had grabbed Tony by his elbow on the way. The genius frowned.

"Wait. What? You- You have a plan?"

Steve slid the door open and they discovered Shuya on the couch sipping whatever mixture she had made for herself - certainly nothing her age would have ever allowed but they were way beyond that now. Steve winced and instead chose to focus on Iron Man.

"Yes, of course. For like, three years now. But we needed you and er, I wasn't ready to face you yet."

Why did Tony cared so much about that damn righteous Captain America?

Probably because of that smile that appeared on his face when he looked back at the sky and the snow falling more densely now, that smile that made anyone believe in a better future and in a better version of themselves no matter what they may have done in the past.

"By the way, merry Christmas Tony."

Yep, definitively that smile.

"Merry Christmas, Cap."