Okay, I finally managed to watch the entire season a couple of days ago, and it was so much fun to watch! Honestly, who would have expected something like this to come from Sanrio of all companies?

Anyway, I'm not normally someone who likes shipping (mostly because it floods the archives on both AO3 and ) but seeing how things ended between Retsuko and Haida convinced me that something needed to be done, especially since there's no confirmation of a second season of Aggretsuko. This is only going to be a one shot, though, mostly because I already have enough to deal with in terms of fanfiction. Plus, with how barren the archives are at this point in time, I'm not going to put a ton of effort into writing a multi-chapter fic.

Anyway, enjoy!

"Well, here goes."

Haida paused briefly, blushing furiously as he sat in his hospital bed staring at Retsuko, the girl he'd had a crush on for years.

Honestly, Haida was still unsure of what exactly he wanted to say. After realizing that things weren't going to work out between her and Resasuke, he knew that he had to say something before he lost her forever, but the funny feeling in the back of his mind that this was going to destroy their friendship never completely went away, which is why he was still mentally freaking out at the prospect of confessing to Retsuko.

Still, he'd already borderline confessed already by mentioning the Retsuko he saw in his mind, so it was too late to back out now.

Sighing, Haida squeezed his eyes shut before finally blurting it out.

"I really, really like you, Retsuko."

Silence quickly spread throughout the room, and Haida began to worry that he'd been too up front and prepared to walk back his original statement. However, as he opened his eyes to find out what the problem was, he was surprised to find that Retsuko's cheeks had somehow managed to get even redder despite the smile still having not left her face from the last time he'd looked at her.

"How long has it been since you've known?" asked Retsuko.

"Uh, two…three years? Somewhere around there."

"Wow, that long? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, can you blame me? I'm probably the least confident person you've ever met. Besides, I didn't want to ruin our friendship."

"Oh come on, Haida. Don't beat yourself up. You're way more confident than you think you are."

Haida fell silent, considering Retsuko's words.

"Yeah, you're right. I guess it says something when a guy like me can confess his feelings to someone like you, right?"

"Yeah, definitely." said Retsuko, smiling once more.

"Great."

The room fell silent once more before Haida spoke up, ready to get the moment of truth over with.

"Alright, I've said my piece, so…lay it on me. Would you like to go out on a date with me?"

Retsuko didn't answer immediately, as she was too busy trying to think of the best way to say what she wanted to say. Honestly, she was more than happy to go along with this whole "dating Haida" thing (especially with how sweet the guy was), but there were some lingering worries in her mind, not to mention her little secret.

It got to the point where Haida was starting to get nervous, but thankfully Retsuko spoke up before it could get worse.

"Haida, I really appreciate that you think that way about me. Honest, I do."

"I understand." said Haida, his hopes dashed as he could tell where the conversation was going by what she had just said.

However, Retsuko's next words went in a completely different direction, partially because she quickly noticed the heartbroken look on her friend's face and partially because she was speaking from the heart.

"Oh! Don't get me wrong, I'd love to go out on a date."

Haida's mood did a complete 180 once he'd heard Retsuko agree to a date, but his excitement was tempered a bit after what she said next.

"There's two things I want to say, though, before we really move forward with this."

"I'm all ears." said Haida, chuckling a bit at his lame joke.

"Well…the first thing is that I want to take this slow. Now, don't take this the wrong way, but I want to be absolutely sure that things are going to work out between us, especially after…"

"The space cadet?" asked Haida, voicing who both of them were thinking of.

"Yeah. I don't want this to look like a rebound romance. I want it to be more than that."

"Of course! I'll make every effort to convince you." said Haida, looking hopeful.

"Good."

Retsuko was about to mention what her second condition was but considering this involved sharing her darkest secret (if you don't count Gori and Washimi), she wasn't as forthcoming as she wanted to be.

Still, after Haida shared his secret, she thought it was only fair to share hers, especially considering this was something that could make or break their budding relationship.

Sighing heavily, Retsuko tamped down her nervousness before finally speaking.

"I also have my own confession to make."

"Really?" asked Haida, surprised. "What is it?"

"I can't tell you here. I don't want this to spread."

"Uh…okay. Where else would work better?"

Retsuko was extremely nervous as she watched the puzzled look on Haida's face, in her mind wondering just what in the heck she was thinking confessing her deepest secret to someone like Haida when she wasn't even comfortable exposing it to Fenneko.

"H-how would you feel about going to the karaoke bar?" she said, wanting to get this whole mess over with.

"Why the karaoke bar?" asked Haida, confused.

"I can get us a private room. I spend a lot of time there."

It took a few seconds, but Haida soon realized that the place would be great for having private conversations, especially with all of the other patrons busy entertaining their friends.

There was one problem, though.

"Uh, I'd love to, but the doctor wants me to stay over for another night."

"Why's that?" asked Retsuko, slightly disappointed that she'd built up this much courage for what felt like nothing.

"Well, the good news is that my pneumonia looks like it's clearing up. The bad news is that he wants to make sure I'm completely okay before he'll release me. Sorry, but it's not exactly my choice."

"Oh, that's alright. I can wait."

Retsuko had a smile on her face as she said her last words, but inwardly she was freaking out. She wanted to get this confession done as soon as possible, and waiting an extra day was only going to make things worse for her.

Unfortunately, it wasn't like she could cancel their plans without Haida catching on, so she decided it was best to just grin and bear it.

"Great!" said Haida, smiling. "Yeah, I'm looking forward to it!"

Retsuko nodded, not trusting herself to say anything else about the subject.

Unfortunately, as much as she wanted to spend some more time with Haida, the doctor soon stepped in and notified Retsuko that visiting hours were now over, so she stood up and waved goodbye to Haida before heading out of his room and into the winding hallways of the hospital.

As for Haida, he managed to sleep well for once in his life, a massive weight now off of his chest after finally going through with what he'd spent so long working up the courage to do.

Little did he know, though, that Fenneko had been listening to the conversation almost the entire time once she'd gotten back from filling the flower vase with water.

Despite her normally cold exterior, Fenneko couldn't help but smile knowing that she'd successfully managed to get the two of them together. Frankly, she couldn't deal with them dancing around the issue for as long as they did, so now that things are working out, she could finally move on with her life.

As Haida continued to sleep in his room, Fenneko slipped inside, placing the vase back where she found it before heading out, leaving the hyena to his dreams.

The next day went by in a haze for Retsuko. Mr. Ton had notified the staff during the morning meeting that Haida would be leaving the hospital this afternoon before returning to work the next day, so Retsuko spent the day running through all of the possible methods she could think of for how she was going to explain her "hobby" to Haida once the two of them met this evening, becoming increasingly freaked out the more each option sounded worse to her.

Not even Fenneko was much help, as Retsuko was nowhere near ready to tell her about her love for death metal. She was basically one step below Kabae in terms of being the office gossiper.

"So, I hear that you and Haida are going out now." she said as the two of them were on a tea break.

"Where did you hear that?" asked Retsuko, nearly jumping thanks to the out of nowhere nature of her question.

Instead of answering, Fenneko simply pulled out her phone. After tapping the screen a few times, she showed her Haida's social media profile, specifically pointing out where his relationship status was.

"Wow, he sure moves fast." said Retsuko awkwardly, noting her name following the words 'in a relationship with'.

Admittedly she was a little worried that he was breaking her first rule, but after a few seconds of thought, she decided to let it go. Haida was as excited as anybody to finally get the girl that he'd been pining for.

"I want details, Retsuko. Where are you taking him and what are you doing?"

"Well, uh…" started Retsuko, a little uncomfortable with Fenneko's prying. "We're just going to visit that karaoke bar a couple streets down. That's pretty much it for now."

"That's it? That doesn't seem like a good first date." said Fenneko, a little disappointed.

"Well, it's not really a true first date, per se. It's kind of like a, uh…test of sorts. To see if he's good boyfriend material."

Retsuko paused, briefly debating whether she should have reworded what she'd just said. She didn't want to accidentally spill what she was truly planning to do.

"Yeah, that sounds about right."

"Whatever. You do what you think's right, Retsuko." said Fenneko, shrugging.

Retsuko wasn't entirely convinced that this was the case, but she smiled and nodded to show that she understood what her friend was talking about.

After yet another long day that involved lots of menial labor from Mr. Ton and a long conversation with Tsunoda that she was desperate to find any way to escape from, Retsuko was eager to head to the karaoke bar to work out some frustrations.

However, the only problem was that she wasn't going to be doing it alone. Sure, she was more than used to spending time singing with Gori and Washimi, since they were quite happy to listen to her sing her death metal heart out.

Haida was a different story, though. Thanks to her quick work on the day after the company drinking party, Haida believed that he was too drunk to remember anything that happened that night, especially her demolishing Mr. Ton in front of the entire office.

Actually admitting that what happened was true, though, was going to be a huge challenge, and she knew it from experience after that night with the gorilla and secretary bird.

"Oh, this is going to suck. I just know it." said Retsuko to herself as she turned another corner.

Thankfully, she'd gone down the path to the karaoke bar enough times that she knew the exact turn that would lead to the street where the bar was at, and once she made that turn, she'd plastered a smile on her face as she walked up to said bar.

It was just in time, too, as once she'd made it to the front door, she saw that Haida was already there, dressed in his punk rock looking clothes she remembered him wearing the last time she saw him outside of work.

"Hey! Great to see you!" said Haida, smiling as he watched Retsuko walk up to him.

"Good to see you too, Haida. Glad to see you're feeling better."

"Yep. I'm feeling a lot better today!"

"Ready to head in?" she asked, gesturing towards the front door with a hand.

"Sure."

Haida took the lead, heading through the front door as Retsuko followed behind, using the opportunity to check inside her bag and note that she didn't forget her microphone.

"Room for one?" asked the baboon attendant as Haida stepped up to the counter, only for Retsuko to step into view soon after.

"Oh, room for two, I see. Sorry, Retsuko, I didn't see you there."

"It's alright. We'll just head back."

"Go right ahead. You want to do your normal three hours, right?"

"Sure. That should be more than enough." said Retsuko.

The attendant nodded, and Retsuko led the way towards the room in the back, opening the door and letting Haida through before shutting the door behind her.

"Nice place." commented Haida as he took in the décor.

"Yeah. I like using this room when I'm here."

Haida's eyes continued to scan the room before it finally landed on the control pad for the karaoke machine.

"Oh cool, here it is!"

Before Retsuko could make a move to grab it, Haida beat her to the punch, picking it up and studying it a bit before looking down at her.

"Want to sing something? We've got three hours, so I think we can kill some time before we get to the important stuff."

"Actually, the music is kind of the reason why we're even here in the first place." said Retsuko, catching Haida off guard.

"Uh…how?"

Instead of answering, Retsuko showed a surprising amount of strength by pushing Haida down on to a nearby sofa before stepping on to the one opposite.

Haida watched in bewilderment as Retsuko dug into her bag, pulling out a microphone before clutching it in both hands.

"Would you mind putting in the code 9091-89, Haida?" asked Retsuko, looking like she was incredibly focused.

Haida, meanwhile, was still very much confused, but he did as she asked, typing in the code before hitting the search button.

As the nearby screen turned a dark orange, and the metal guitars began to play, there was an inkling in the back of Haida's mind that he remembered something like this happening before.

However, that inkling was quickly blown out of his mind when Retsuko launched into a near two-minute flurry of headbanging, devil horns, and screaming about practically everything that's happened to her in her life (at least as far as he was aware of).

Eventually, the music stopped, and the surprisingly demon-like expression on Retsuko's face disappeared, while her normal face returned, except looking a little more subdued than usual.

"So, that's it, huh?" asked Haida, chuckling a bit mostly because he didn't really know what to think.

"I'm sorry, Haida. You must think I'm really weird, don't you?" said Retsuko, her expression downcast as she looked down at the floor by Haida's feet.

"No, of course not! I just…didn't expect you were in to something like this. Does anyone else know?"

"Just Gori and Washimi."

"Not Fenneko?"

"Not really. I don't want to risk it spreading to Kabae, because if she knows, the whole office is going to know."

"I see." said Haida before his eyes widened when he remembered something.

"Hey, wait! Back at the company party, did you seriously tear into Ton with death metal?"

"Yeah, that was me." said Retsuko, blushing in embarrassment.

"I knew it! I was wondering why I passed out the day after."

"Uh, that was me, too. I may have knocked you and Fenneko out so you two didn't remember me doing that."

Haida was about to say something, but after a few seconds of thought, he decided that it probably wasn't worth saying, so he waved it off and decided to change the subject.

"So, you're not freaked out by my 'interests', Haida?" asked Retsuko, looking hopeful.

"Of course not! I think it's pretty cool, to be honest. Besides, I'm kind of the same, too."

"Wait, you spend your nights screaming death metal at a karaoke bar?"

"No! No…not death metal. I don't think my voice was built for death metal."

"So, what are you into, then?"

"Well, as you can tell by the way I dress, I'm into punk music. I'm more of a sing at home kind of guy, though. Mostly because I'm pretty bad at it." he said, saying the last sentence under his breath.

"Well, why don't you try it out here? We've got a lot of time."

Haida wasn't into the idea of singing for her, especially considering what he'd just said before, but after some cajoling from Retsuko (and a few glasses of liquid courage), Haida finally got up on stage, scrolling through the list of songs before hitting play on one particular one he liked.

Predictably, he was pretty terrible with his singing, but Retsuko honestly didn't care. This was what karaoke was for, either way.

And so, Haida and Retsuko spent time trading the microphone, singing one song after another and enjoying each other's company, getting drunker and drunker before finally heading home.

Retsuko was more than happy just to let what happened that night stay between the two of them, but unfortunately Fenneko got in the way thanks to their poor decision to post pictures of their night on Haida's social media page.

This led to a lot of awkward questions for the two, but they were just happy to go along with it, knowing what they had planned for their actual first date.