Moments of Always

"Moments of Always" is a series of short stories describing single "moments" in the lives of the Castle Season 9 characters, in the first year after Lily's birth.

These stories have been written by various authors and curated/edited by members of the Castle Season 9 team.
Each story stands alone as its own "universe" - they are not intended to present a continuous narrative. They are not being posted in chronological order.
Think of them as little snapshots of "what might have been."

We hope you enjoy them!

Moments of Always: Delightfully Awkward
Written by Meg Moore
Editing/Beta by acertainzest

Kate leans into the railing surrounding the skating rink, taking in the sparkling winter wonderland before her. She used to love coming to Rockefeller Center at Christmastime as a child; it was a tradition she'd enjoyed with her mother. The two of them made the trek over here to go ice skating and drink hot chocolate and ooh and ahh at the giant Christmas tree together every holiday season, without fail. As a teen, she took to making a few half-hearted objections about it, but always gave in with minimal pushback from her mom, and they eventually incorporated some holiday shopping and dinner at a special restaurant into their day out. She was loath to admit it then, but she had genuinely looked forward to their outing every year.

She can still remember the last time she came here with her mom, even though it was nearly half a lifetime ago. She'd ducked out a little earlier than usual that evening to meet up with some high-school friends who were also home for the holiday, and her mom had simply hugged her goodbye with a smile, encouraging her to go and have a good time. Her nineteen-year-old self couldn't have known what would occur just a few short weeks later, of course, and she abandoned the ritual altogether when it became too painful in the wake of her mother's death. At the time, it was just too much.

But here she is now, and everything has changed except it's like nothing has changed at all, like her grief never put her annual tradition on hold for almost two decades. There's something special, something almost magical about it this year. It's a rebirth, of sorts. She's looking at everything through different eyes now. The cheery smile that's been a fixture on her face since they decked out the loft for the holidays shortly after Thanksgiving grows wider, because she knows exactly what's different about this year. More accurately, who is different this year.

At just over seven months old, Lily is just mobile enough that they have to keep a close eye on her amidst their Christmas finery. All of the colorful, shiny decor has the girl entranced, and she takes off the moment they turn their backs, crawling at breakneck speed toward the twinkling tree and attempting to grab any ornaments hanging within her reach. She's given both Castle and Kate a few moments of panic as they race after their curious child who is determined to explore every square inch of the decorated space. Kate can't bring herself to feel upset about it, though; she cherishes every moment of wonder and discovery with their daughter, and the joy she brings to both of them, how their love for her grows daily.

They decided to skip the ice skating this year, neither wanting to risk a fall while carrying Lily, instead choosing to spend their time walking hand in hand and just taking in the sights of the holiday together, watching Lily's eyes widen with amazement at the massive, colorful Christmas tree and the skaters speeding by. Kate smiles at the memory of the soft, suggestive kiss Castle had touched to her lips before wandering away with their daughter and the promise of two hot chocolates upon his return.

A hand on her shoulder has her turning with the grin remaining on her lips, expecting to find her family standing there, but instead she sees…

"Detective Beckett. What a pleasant surprise running into you here. I'm absolutely delighted to see you again."

"Mr. Vaughn." She huffs, momentarily taken aback by his appearance, but her cop instincts kick in quickly, masking her surprise. She considers correcting the title he attributes to her, almost says it's Captain now, thankyouverymuch, but then she thinks better of it, because what does it matter? It's been, what... four years since the case they worked with him? God, that feels like another lifetime.

"Please, no need for formality here. It's Eric." He reaches out to shake hands with her, and he grips her fingers just a little too long, a little bit too intimately before he finally releases her. She silently curses the cozy gloves that obscure her wedding ring.

"Of course. Eric," she says with a curt nod and a polite smile. "You're looking very well."

"Not nearly as well as you, Detective." She wants to believe he's just being friendly, but the way he looks her up and down is slightly more suggestive than appreciative. "May I say, you are just as stunning as you were when last we met. In fact, I'd say you're even more so. There's definitely a glow about you."

That actually evokes a genuine smile. Any glow she possesses is the direct result of having the love of an extraordinary man, an adorable baby daughter, and a life that she's grateful for every day, but she hesitates to share that with him. Eric Vaughn is practically a stranger, a long-ago acquaintance at best, and after his previous disregard for the fact that she was in a serious relationship, she's hesitant to entrust any information about her life to him. Being married to a public figure like Castle and serving as the inspiration for a popular series of novels means the most basic details of her life will be always on display for anyone with access to Google, but she's still protective of what they have, and hesitant to open up to just anyone.

"You flatter me, Mr. V- Eric." She cringes internally at her tone. She doesn't mean to be unfriendly, but she also has no desire to mislead him for even a moment. This is one relationship she's not looking to rekindle in any way, shape, or form.

"Oh, but it's not flattery, Kate. Apologizes for my impertinence...may I call you Kate?"

"It is my name." Oh jeez... was that snarky? It sounded that way to her own ears but if it came out like that, he doesn't appear to notice.

"You know, I must confess...I've been immersed in so many business projects for the last few years, I've not had a chance to keep up with you and the goings-on in your life. You must fill me in on all of the details."

"Oh, well, honestly, there's not much to tell." Okay, so she can admit that answer is purposefully evasive. She would never downplay her husband and their family, and their importance to her, but they are so special, so sacred almost, and her fierce protectiveness of them makes her hold back. That, and she's kinda hoping to get rid of him before Castle and Lily return, but the man looks like he's in no rush.

"Oh I sincerely doubt that, Kate. If there's one thing I learned when I worked with you all those years ago, it's that you are an extraordinary woman. I knew then that you were destined for great things."

Kate blinks hard at his use of that adjective and glances away; she doesn't like that word nearly as much coming from his mouth. He uses her momentary distraction to reach out and cover her hand that's wrapped around the railing once more, surprising her with the move before she can pull away. "Say, I hope I'm not being presumptuous when I ask if there's any possibility I could take you out to dinner, Kate? I would love the opportunity to catch up with you."

Try as she might to contain her reaction to his invitation, her eyes widen and her jaw drops, a slightly hysterical-sounding laugh escaping her lips before she can stifle it. Instantly, she can tell that he's mistaking her reaction as one of enthusiasm as opposed to incredulity and discomfort.

Eric's smile widens, his misinterpretation of her response emboldening him. "It just so happens I already have a reservation tonight, and no one to share it with. Might I interest you in..."

He trails off then, his hand going slack against hers when his attention is drawn just over her left shoulder, his eyes flashing with what she can only describe as recognition. She uses his distraction to snatch her hand away, and warm, familiar fingers nudge her arm a moment later.

She looks over her shoulder to see Castle there, a to-go cup in each hand and their daughter squirming excitedly in the Baby Björn strapped to his body. She heaves a sigh of relief...Castle is no white knight and she doesn't exactly need saving, but his timing sure is impeccable. She could have handled the situation on her own, of course, but she's never been one to enjoy delivering rejection. And besides, now she has a lot less explaining to do.

Castle takes the whole scene in stride and simply steps forward, smiling cordially, as if running into Eric Vaughn putting the moves on his wife is the most normal thing to happen to him all day. He delivers one of the cups to Kate and shoots his newly-freed hand toward Vaughn, the other man grasping it warily.

"Eric Vaughn, what a wonderful surprise!" Castle's feigned enthusiasm makes Kate snicker into the lid of her cup. "Who knew we'd run into you here on our family outing. Small world, huh? Oh! Allow me the honor of introducing you to our daughter. This is Lily."

Lily's limbs swing and jerk as if on cue, her face drawing into a near-toothless smile at the sight of her mother, two tiny white chiclets breaking through on the bottom. Kate reaches out and ruffles the dark, downy hair atop her head, drawing close to lay a kiss upon her forehead. The sweet, powdery smell of her daughter exerts a calming force on her, her heart beating on a steady pace again.

To his credit, Eric Vaughn recovers and gathers his wits quickly. "My goodness, what a lovely young lady you two have produced. How old is she?"

"Almost eight months," Castle states, his face aglow with pure adoration for his daughter. "She's a busy bee, this one. Keeps us on the run from dawn 'til dusk, now that she's on the move. But she's cute, right?"

Castle's query is totally rhetorical of course, leaving no room for dissent, and once again, Kate is chuckling into her drink.

"Oh, most certainly! Yes, she's... she's darling." Eric pauses then, something passing over his features that looks wistful, almost envious, before he continues. "You two must be so happy."

This time, it's Kate who responds. "We are." She turns to look at Castle, their eyes meeting in serene understanding of what the two of them possess. There are no doubts there anymore. They turn back toward Eric with matching smiles, and Kate knows she won't have to give him an answer to his invite.

"Well, I think I've taken up enough of your time. I'll let the three of you get on with your evening. Detective Beckett, Mr. Castle... and Lily, of course. It was lovely running into you tonight."

Castle sets his drink down and extends his hand to the man again. "Likewise, Eric. And it's Captain, by the way."

"I'm sorry?"

"Kate." Castle turns to her, his smile beaming with pride and just a touch of awe, and how is it that the way he says her name still stirs the butterflies in her belly to life? "She's Captain Beckett, now."

She could be imagining things, but Kate could swear Eric Vaughn actually blushes. "Ah, yes. Of course you would have been promoted many times over at this point. My apologies, Captain. I hope you have a good night," he finally mumbles with a nod, averting his eyes as he ducks away as quietly as he approached.

Kate waits until he's out of earshot before she turns to thank her husband for the save, but he beats her to the punch.

"Sounds like you could have had a hot date with Eric Vaughn tonight. Sorry that Lily and I, uh..." He trails off, scoping out their immediate surroundings for anyone who might be listening in, before covering Lily's ears with his hands. "Sorry that we cock-blocked you," he stage-whispers.

Kate blurts out a laugh at that, while Lily shakes off her father's grasp on her head.

"Sorry, Lil." Castle smooths down the shock of dark hair atop his daughter's head before picking up his to-go cup again, "Seriously, though. That guy's a charmer. I'm sure you would have a delightful time," he sing-songs at her teasingly.

"Delightfully awkward, maybe." A little shudder moves down her spine. She can't even fathom the idea of being with another man now.

Castle takes a sip of his drink, his expression morphing, turning thoughtful. After so many years as partners and friends, and then as lovers, she knows when his mind is working overtime, when the gears are turning. She knows he's formulating a question, and true to form, he speaks up a moment later.

"Do you ever think about that stuff? About our humble beginnings?" He looks at her from the corner of his eye, a little shy as he gauges her response. "About what might have happened had you taken his interest in you seriously all those years ago?"

She reaches out and wraps her hand around his forearm, drawing his gaze fully to hers.

"Castle. I never took him seriously," she murmurs with a shake of her head. "It's no excuse for my behavior during that case, but he- he caught me in a vulnerable moment, and he distracted me with some cheap flattery. I could never have felt about him the way I feel about you. Tell me you know that."

He hides his sheepish grin in the thick mat of their daughter's dark hair. "I know. I do. But I gave you reason to doubt me at the time. I'm sorry I ever made you feel insecure. You've always been it for me, Kate."

"I know. And I'm sorry I didn't trust in you at the time. I do now. Completely."

"I know, love." He tilts away from Lily to press a chaste kiss to her lips, lingering just long enough to share a breath and let everything else just fall away for a moment. There's nothing else to be said on the matter, and they both know it. It's water long under the bridge.

Lily's high-pitched squeal and flailing limbs break their reverie, their daughter determined not to be ignored a moment longer.

Castle touches his lips to hers one last time before finishing the last of his hot chocolate and tossing the cup away. "I have a feeling our daughter is going to stage a protest if we don't get moving. I'm thinking dinner, then home to bathe this one, and then after she's all tucked in for the evening, maybe a bath for the grown ups with a bottle of that wine that makes you all…" He trails off and punctuates his unspoken meaning with a sly grin and a quirk of his eyebrows.

Oh this sweet man... he really does know the way to her heart, and later on, during that shared bath, she's going to make sure he forgets he ever even heard the name Eric Vaughn. She twines her fingers through his and allows him to tug her in the direction of their home.

"Lead the way, babe."