I can still recall

Our last summer

I still see it all

Walks along the Seine

Laughing in the rain

Our last summer

Memories that remain

This is never how I pictured my first love to turn out. I never thought that my great love affair would last for mere days - yet affect me for over twenty years; Sam Carmichael was the only man I ever truly loved - is the only man I'll ever love.

Seeing him again, in the goat house, was an indescribable shock. The simultaneous pain and joy caused by seeing him standing there - the presence of Bill and Harry only emphasised this. My true love had come back to me - along with the loving men who helped to fix me after he left.

I never loved Bill or Harry in the same way I loved Sam. I never knew if that was truly because we were meant to be, or if I was just too scared of being broken again. I prefer to think it was the former; I prefer to think that Sam truly loved me too - all these years I thought I was being lead by blind naivety, but seeing Sam again... I... I know that it was true.

I don't know why he's here, but I cannot let my self get too close to him again. For all I know he could be happily married, I mean that is why he left, and if that were true I the pain would be insurmountable this time. My baby girl is all grown up - about to leave the nest - and I can no longer find solace in summer flings like I did twenty years ago. Nothing could ever compare to Sam anyway.

I'd never seen something so beautiful, so picturesque, so... perfect. Sam rowed me over to this little island, Kalokairi, and we spent the whole night on the beach. We talked and we danced and we kissed and...

"Donna, darling..." Sam muttered pushing me away slightly, breaking our kiss

" I love you Sam, so much." I whisper gently into his strong chest

Sam cups my face, his fingers capturing my chin, expertly angling my face towards his. Our eyes lock, his gaze so intense, I feel like together we could conquer anything, everything. "I love you too my darling Donna." He leans down quickly capturing my lips into a passionate kiss.

For the first time I know what love feels like, and in this moment I know there is only one way that we can express our true love. I move my hands down from his neck to his firm chest. I can feel the firm muscles rippling underneath my fingers as his arms work on rubbing my back, often wandering in exploration. I start to unbutton his crisp white shirt with my lithe fingers - wanting desperately to explore his body. I have his shirt unbuttoned, in what I feel must be record speed, and I push his shirt off of his broad shoulders. My fingers working into his tense muscles as I feel my way down; first to his strong, protective arms then brushing over his thick chest hair, his muscles concealed - though very present. My fingers are already working on his belt buckle before he even notices his shirt's missing.

Sam groans "Hmmm, Donna we don't have to do this if..."

"Shhh baby," I cut him off with a kiss "I want this too." His protection and restraint in this moment only furthering my desperate need for him. Our earlier conversations on the beach revealed to Sam that I have not yet had sex - but I know he is the only man I would ever want to be my first.

"I love you Donna. If you ever want to stop, please, just let me know, I promise I won't be mad. Okay?" In this moment he looks so sincere, so loving, so beautiful.

I smile up at him, his ocean blue eyes deeper than the sea. I can't find the words to tell him how much I want this, so instead I pull his head down towards mine. Our lips meet in a passionate kiss unlike any other before.

His strong hands work their way down my back, feeling out the zipper on the back of my dress. He slowly works the zipper down and I feel the warm breeze of the European night hitting my back. He slips the dress off of my shoulders and it quickly pools around my ankles, leaving me in my nothing but my underwear.

I stare nervously towards the golden sand - too nervous despite our love to look him in the eyes. He runs his hands slowly up my arms, his gentle caress leaving making me shiver in anticipation. His hands reach my face and his loving touch tilts my face towards his.

"I love you Donna. You are so damn beautiful." He whispers gently into my ear, his hot breath - and his soft words - sending my brain into a frenzy of lust.

I gently work on the button of his trousers, continuing the work I started earlier. I push his trousers down his strong hips and, dropping to my knees, I place soft kisses on his hips. My hands knead his muscular thighs - and I see the prominent bulge in his boxers grow larger with each passing second. I run my hands down his stomach, gently to his stiffness, grazing his bulging cock as I work on removing his boxer shorts.

"Donna," he warns gently "You don't have to do that-" he stops speaking abruptly when i run my finger along the bottom of his straining cock.

"Jesus, darling... don't stop, please." He groans.

I smirk, unable to contain my building pleasure, as the dampening between my thighs increases with each passing second. "Shhhh baby, let me enjoy you." I whisper, sounding more breathy than I had anticipated. "...and maybe then you can return the favour." I say smoothly, and I hear him groan again.

I hear the clattering of bottles as Pepper restocks the bar waking me from the pleasure in my consciousness.

"Donna, Donna!" I hear Rosie yell from across the courtyard "Sheridan, get your arse over here."

I smile to myself as I hurry to join my lifelong friends at their all time favourite place - the bar.

"What's wrong ladies, have you drunk my hotel dry yet?" I reply, earning eye rolls from both my friends.

"So did you find out why the three guys are here yet?" Rosie asks.

Before I can answer her Tanya chimes in "Does Sophie know about any of this Donna?" which only results in a groan of frustration from me.

"No I still don't know why they're here. If they stay here much longer I'm gonna have to tell Soph." I let out a moan as my head falls into my hands.

"How the hell am I supposed to start that conversation? It's not like I can just go up to her and say 'Hey Soph guess what? Your mum's a slut and any one of these three guys could be your father' because suprisingly I don't think she'd take that too well." I bite snarkily earning laughs from the two women.

"Darling, I don't think three guys makes you a slut." Tanya drawls from around her cocktail glass, with a raise of her eyebrow.

"Yeah," Rosie agrees "it's not like Sophie was raised around a string of men. I can't even remember the last time you had a man."

"When was the last time you had a man Sheridan?" Tanya asked, suddenly finding her alcohol a lot less interesting. My silence appeared to speak for me. "Oh. My. God." Tanya breathed "You mean you haven't had sex in over twenty years." Tanya and Rosie look at me waiting for me to say something, anything.

"Well it's just - no one was ever... No one was ever Sam." I breathed "Being with Bill or Harry never helped me to get over him, and I mean then I had Soph to look after. I just never really thought about it."

"And how do you feel now." Rosie inquired "You don't still love him do you?"

"I didn't think I did; I thought I was over him. But when I saw him again everything just came flooding back. And he's probably married so I ca-"

Tanya cuts me off before I can talk myself into a frenzy "Woah, woah, woah Sheridan he may not be married. I mean why would he be here if he were. It's not like he's gonna try and cheat with you twice." She adds.

"Oh! I know what we should do," Rosie exclaims "we need to corner him and find out why he's here."

"No Rosie I don't wanna do that."

But before I can say anything else, Tanya shouts with a laugh "Shut it Sheridan. Rosie has a great plan and we can pretend you don't have anything to do with it. We are just two girls looking out for their best friend." She says truthfully "And also we need to find out if anyone needs their balls hacked off with an unfortunately blunt knife." She adds more seriously than I would like.

"Fine." I say "But I know nothing okay?"

"Sure thing Sheridan." I hear echoed from both of them

"So what are you gonna do? Waterboard him? Hook him up to a lie detector?" I say rolling my eyes sarcasticly still not certain this plan will work.

"I don't know about that but... I see Mr. Carmichael over there and I've already had half a bars worth of alcohol... also I've gotta lot of pent up rage." Tanya replies with a laugh. "Come on Rosie we'll corner him while he's alone." They both get up from the bar staggering slightly as they let themselves adjust to the world in their inebriated states.

My teeth work at my bottom lip as I see my backup girls chasing after Sam; they can still move pretty quick despite the alcohol.

"Ohhhhh. Sam, faster baby. Yes! Don't stop" I yell into his ear as our hips move together. His thick cock pounding into me over, and over, and over.

"Donna, Donnaaa. Jesus woman, you're so fucking perfect." Sam moans whilst his lips trail kisses down my neck, and further still until his hot mouth attaches to my sensitive nipple. He rolls his tongue around the hard bud earning a moan from me, and then he bites down sending waves of pleasure throughout my body.

"Sam. Please, more I need more, please." I'm begging him now, actually begging. He moves his hand down between my legs and his rough thumb begins to circle my clit as his mouth works, alternating between my two breasts. The pleasure in my core builds and my hips speed up, meeting his hard thrusts, increasing the friction. I can feel my release coming hard and fast as his hand work magic on my clit.

"Donna. I got you baby, let yourself go." He whispers into my ear, his voice heavy with arousal and only adding to my pleasure.

"Ohhhhh. Yes. Yes. Yes. Sam keep going. Yesyesyesyesyes!" My brain grows foggy and I swear I see stars, the pleasure so intense as my orgasm washes over me. It's not until he silences me with a kiss that i release I've been screaming.

He continues to pound into me. His hot rod impaling me as his hand continues its work on my clit. I force my eyes open and see his face, glistening with sweat; the sheer concentration on his face almost enough to send me over the edge again. Seeing Sam so determined to show me love and give me pleasure is so incredibly hot. His hips move quickly and powerfully while his tongue mimics the movements in my mouth. His thrusts grow more sloppy, I can see in his face how close he is.

"Sam, I'm so close baby... ahhhhh yesyesyesyesyes! Sam." I whimper as my second orgasm crashes into me. I moan as I feel Sam's thrusts speed up.

"Donna, baby you feel so good." He moans as I feel him succumb to his own orgasm. He collapses on top of me whilst he tries to steady his breathing. "Holy shit," he says with a laugh "that was... I... love you Donna."

"I love you too Sam." I smile back.

We must've fallen asleep because when I open my eyes again the sky above us is no longer blue - but instead is pure black and speckled with stars.

"You should have woken me up." I say turning my head towards Sam.

"You looked so peaceful, I couldn't disturb you." He whispers and I hear his voice crack.

"Sam darling, what is it?" I ask as my heart starts pounding.

"Donna, please don't get mad. Just remember that I love you so much... Okay? because I do, I really do."

I sit up in silence, too nervous to say anything.

"I'm engaged Donna." Sam says, each syllable slices through my heart.

My heart pounds - no longer out of fear - coursing the anger through my veins. I stand up, quickly wrapping myself in his shirt, and start moving, walking, pacing. I feel the sand beneath my toes and the usually calming effect it brings does not come to me.

"What?" I whisper, turning away as I feel tears burning at my eyes

"Donna, please listen to me. I can explain." Sam pleads.

"Explain," I laugh "you think you can fucking explain this Sam. You think you can fucking explain why you told me you loved me. You think you can explain why you planned out future while you were fucking engaged to someone else."

I pick up my clothes and start getting dressed. Once I managed to zip up my dress I throw Sam's shirt back at him, too angry to touch anything belonging to him. He looks so broken in this moment and I hate that I care, he doesn't deserve my empathy. I turn around and I run. I run from Sam towards the steps leading off of the beach.

"Donna, please. Baby come back, I'm sorry." Sam yells after me.

I turn around and mustering all the strength I have left say "Don't fucking say my name Carmichael. I. Never. Want. To. See. You. Again. Okay? Do not follow me and do not say you love me." And with that our story ended. Or so I thought

"Donna! Donna! Donna fucking Sheridan I know you can hear me." Rosie's incessant yelling from across the courtyard breaks my thoughts. I quickly wipe my eyes as I turn towards my best friends.

"Sorry girls, I was off in a world of my own." I laugh, hoping they did not notice the tears.

"We talked to Sam." Tanya says. Ahh. Straight to business I see.

I swallow hard, nervous about what they found out. I want to ask but I can't form the words. My throat feels dry; I manage to croak out "What did he say?"

"Sam loves you Donna," Rosie says gently "He's divorced and he loves you." I feel my knees go weak as what Rosie said finally start to sink in.

"Sam got divorced a couple years ago because he never stopped loving you." Tanya adds.

"I can't- I have to... Go. I'm gonna go." I splutter as I start to run away. I don't even know where I'm running but before I know it I'm on the beach; damnit I'm at our spot. This is so not what I need right now. Nevertheless I sit down, and I sit there and cry.

What does he think he can just turn up here twenty years later and I'll be waiting for him? I mean he's not wrong but he doesn't need to know that. I just don't know what to do...

My heart starts beating as a familiar scent moves closer. Shit-

"You came to our part of the beach." Fuck. Why does his voice sound so good.

"Yeah. Well it's just sand." I reply. Lies. Fucking lies.

"Can we talk Donna?" Sam whispers, and he looks - almost - scared. Before I can answer he speaks again. "I came back for you, y'know. I told Lorraine I couldn't marry her and I came right back. But... They told me you were off with some other guy. Then Lorraine called me an idiot - and married me to prove it." Sam's eyes are shining with tears as he desperately tries to redeem himself.

"Twenty years Sam, I haven't seen you in over twenty years; alot has changed we're not the same people that we were back then." Why? Why am I trying to stop this?

He sits down next to me and lets out a groan of protest. "That was alot easier to do when I was younger." He laughs stretching out his legs, as I let out a snort.

"Yeah? Well just wait till you have to get back up again." I reply as he lets out a huff of air.

"I really am sorry Donna. I never meant to hurt you."

"What did you think was gonna happen Sam? How did you think that wouldn't hurt me?"

He doesn't say anything, instead he just lowers his head.

"Why did you come here now?" I question, probably sounding more tired than I meant to. "I mean what do you want Sam?"

Sam looks at me so intensely and I swear he can tell everything I'm thinking. "You." And that's it. That one word whispered so lovingly; I seem to lose all self control. I don't know how it happens. I can't remember who leans in, or who initiates it but all I know is that Sam and I are engaged in a passionate, duelling kiss. Out tongues fighting for dominance. Sam pushes me gently back, so we are both lying down; I can feel the hot golden sand on my back and Sam's firm chest pressing into my front as he nibbles on my lower lip.

He breaks the kiss and utters softly "I'm so sorry Donna. Please know that I am sorry."

"I know Sam." And in that moment I do. Everything that happened before doesn't matter, because right now - in this moment - everything is perfect.