Chapter 1

Dark grey clouds were surrounding winterfell , when jon snow trotted his horse across the fields, towards the only home he had ever come close to have. He was only a boy of three and one when he had left winterfell, to lead his own life. When he made the decision to leave, he only thought that he was leaving only a shelter, for finding another one.

Later as jon lost his childish dreams to the hard life outside the protected sanctum of winterfell, he knew that he had left the only living being that he had loved the moment his eyes met the similar grey. He had left his little sister, the part of his life that he cherished the most. He will live a thousand lives as a royal bastard if only he can relive the moments he had spent with her.

Now after 5 years surviving the horrors of real world, his feet once again abandon him to take the next step, towards the difficult predicament of facing his father's side of family. The royal court was residing in winterfell as per the order of the king. The king had decided after the rebellion that he will visit north, and the surrounding land of his kingdom once every 5 years.

The last time that had happened he was on his way to the wall so that he will not ever have to see his father side of family. It was because of his uncle, that he was given a chance to breath and have a loving family surrounding him when he was a child. He shivered with the thought of spending his childhood days in kingslanding, with his king father and his half sibling as a bastard. Jon thanked his uncle everyday for that. He had brought him to winterfell with him after the war, and had raised jon as his own child. Even after not seeing his uncle face for the past half decade he still thought him as a father. The image of having eddard stark as father gives jon a peaceful feeling, after all the man was the best man Jon had ever met. That still didn't do anything to his disturbed feeling of seeing his birth father.

Till he reached the tender age of four jon believed himself as a child of eddard stark. He knew at that time too, that his mother was not catelyn stark, as she has herself taught him rather forcefully, whenever he called her mother as robb did. Later when he caught the meaning of bastard from one of catelyn's maid, he asked lord stark the nature of his birth. That day lord stark had taken him to the crypt to show him the statue of his mother. He had cried to his sleep on lord stark shoulder when he told what had happened. That was the only time he had seen lord stark cry.

At age eight when the king visited with his four children and two wives, for the first time in his life he became the center of attention in winterfell. The feeling of coldness was not unknown to the young Jon, because of the icy stares thrown at him from lady stark and his maids. He never could understand the reason , as he always tried to be a well mannered child for lord stark's sake.

Later he got to know that as the consequence of the war, house Tully were stripped of their title of lord paramount of Riverland. They lost a large amount of land to the Darry's, who were awarded the lord paramount title after the Tully's. The reason the Tully's were made a mere bannerman, while the stark still hold theirs, were a point of topic for all the realm to guess. Uncle Benjen said that while the stark, Arryn and Baratheon had reason to rebel, Tully's didn't. They only rebel for their greed to have blood in two other great houses and paid the price for it. He still couldn't fathom the reason for sparing the Stark as house Arryn and Baratheon too lost their tittle. Although, he was relieved for it.

House Arryn lost the paramount ship of the Eyrie to house Royce. Robert lost his head while Stannis was thrown to the wall for his loyalty to his brother. Renly Baratheon future was decided as a maester to rule under a loyal house of the Targaryen. One of the Robert's bastard named Gendry was made the lord of Stormland who was a royal ward to insult and subsequently anger the Stormland further. There was always talking of rebellions in Stormland because of this.

After the war the only thing the lords agreed on was the cause of it, which to Jon's utter plight was him, and the nature of his birth. In southern lords mind it was because of his 'whore' of a mother, and her 'whoring' nature which caused the pious and saintly prince to stray away of his wife's bed. It wouldn't have caused Jon much distress if these lords kept these thoughts to themselves. But for the entire time of king's stay at winterfell, these lord had made it their 'royal' duty to have Jon know of it. Those two weeks were the most difficult days for Jon, as he had to go through the days with the spiteful and baleful words that were thrown at him.

Lord stark had told him what to except from the king's visit. He was not visiting to improve the crown relationship with the north but to keep them in check. He had told him to hold his composure when hateful remarks were thrown at him. Still no warning could prepare him to keep his calm when words like whore's son were used to describe him and his mother. He expected venomous words from the Martell queen but he didn't expect so much animosity from his half siblings and the other queen. The king ignored Jon and his plight like he was diseased with grayscale. He didn't even look at him once during his stay, even when during one the feasts Viserys had slapped him for talking back at him. Thinking back to those days still angered him, still those were the days he had grown the most. He endured the king's visit at winterfell only because of the kind eyes and words of lord stark and his little sister.

Even the name of Arya brought a smile on his face. They were cousins in relation but were as close as siblings. She looked like him, understood him the most and loved him the most. The moment she had open her eyes, looked at him with those watery eyes full with adoration towards him he knew she had been born to love him, and Jon to love her. They were both outcasts in their own home- he from his bastard name and she had from her wild nature. They both had swept tears from each other faces when the world was too cruel to them. The king's visit had shown him how much he depended on Arya and her love for him. Sometime he thought that he could have never survived these humiliations without Arya assuring him, and trying to cheer him up all the time. After the visit Jon knew that he had to leave winterfell, to run away from this kind of torture. Because of the king's visit the japes of Theon Greyjoy got frequent and far meaner.

Jon was only one and three when he learned about the return of the royal court to winterfell. He didn't want to tell Arya of his departure, but the thought of Arya crying and fearing for his sake has stopped him. He thanked that he had told her his plans, because his plan to run away from winterfell wouldn't have been successful if not for her. The first thing Arya had said was to take her with him as expected, but after lot of anger and tantrums from her part, and equal amount of reasons and assurances from his part she had finally relented. After many promises and teary goodbyes he had left his home.

Initially Things went according to what they had planned; Arya had lied to her father informing lord stark that Jon had went to see uncle Benjen. Benjen at the time was touring the Hornwoods land to mitigate a conflict between the Hornwoods and the Bolton. In reality Jon had ventured north to the wall. He had planned to go east watch by the sea and from there to take a ship to Essos. Jon was a good swordsman, the best at winterfell. After the humiliation and disgrace he had faced, Jon gave his all in becoming a better man than those southerners. Getting better at sword fighting was one of them. He had even learned to speak and write in Valyrian from maeter luwin so he can survive in Essos.

Jon's plan was thrown out of the winds when he got stuck in a storm. During which instead of going to east watch by the sea he had to take shelter at castle black. Jon feared that lord commander Mormont would recognize him from his stark features, or surely he would be looking out for a boy his age, as lord stark would have send ravens all around the north for him. Well all of Jon's fears were proven wrong, as after the storm lord commander Mormont had allowed him to stay at the wall as his Stewart. What had happened after that was history.

Jon was broken from his musing when his horse came to rest at the gates of winterfell. From the gate he could hear the sounds of music being played at the great hall. As Jon has arrived during supper time, he was sure a feast was being held for the royal court. He was not granted entrance as he was reluctant to give his identity when asked to. Luckily Jory was at gate duty that time because the moment Jory got to see Jon clearly from the light of the torch, his eyes went wide and a huge smile slowly formed at his face.

He entered the hall slowly minding his way through the dancing lords and ladies. He kept his eyes towards the table right bellow the high table as he knew the person he was searching should be seated there. Jon knew he should wait to see her and his cousins after the feast is over as Jory too had advised him, but being so close to her after this much time he couldn't wait any longer. Besides he was not the same Jon when the last time these fools came to winterfell. If these lords knew the deeds and achievement he had accomplished in such a small time, he was sure they would think twice before talking to him. More ever Eon had come to accept his birth a long time ago. His time on Essos had thought him that a man can write his own destiny. Always.

As he made his way to the high table he could sense people muttering after looking at him. He was now standing at the middle of the space created for dancing; searching for the girl he had traveled half a world to see. As his eyes swept over the people he could recognize the redheads as Robb, Sansa and Bran. He got to see lord stark and lady stark as they were talking to the kings and the queen, surely trying to be polite and respectful towards them. He paid no mind to the silence that crept the hall when someone said Jon snow, loudly enough that all the occupants could hear clearly.

Later he would find the voice that said his name and kiss it. Because of it, the words of a brown hair woman who was till now talking and gesturing animatedly with Rickon, got frozen. The woman was wearing a nice grey-blue gown clinging tightly to her figure, her hair were done in northern fashion causing most of it to run loose. As Jon saw the women rise from her chair slowly he felt his heart thrumming faster in his chest. The last time he had seen her she was a girl was nine, crying so hard that it had caused all her face to redden, all because she wouldn't see him. Now she was seeing a woman grown, her pale skin glowing in the candlelight of the hall, her long face had loosed all the baby fat causing it to look sharp and almost angelic. For a moment Jon thought this was not his Arya, as this women looked far more beautiful than he ever thought Arya would become.

Jon knew all the time when she had came to him after someone had called her names, that she would one day became a northern beauty. But never had he imagined that her beauty would cause his heart to beat so quickly. All the thoughts leaved his mind when he heard her voice calling his name for the first time in five years. His name was followed by a brilliant smile. Gods, for a moment with the light of the candle surrounding her, her loose hair flowing through the air with such grace, the sweet sound of her voice calling out his name with that bright smile she looked like a Goddess. Jon would latter know that while he was watching Arya, he was not idle, unknown to him he had too called out her name as he was saying a prayer with a smile matching her in intensity.

Both of them had moved to reach each other at the same time. Running, dodging and laughing simultaneously, they made their way to each other. When Arya was close enough she jumped to his arms, just as like she would have done when they were small children. He wrapped his arms around her waist tightly as if his life depended on it. At that moment he thought it did. He spun her around a couple times laughing with as she peppered him with tiny pecks all around his face.

Jon for a while felt he was back to being a eleven year old boy playing with his sister, making her laugh, giggle and smile like he had done hundreds of times without a care in the world. Finally when their laughter had died out, she was still in his arms, her face was besides his, her arms tightly wrapped around his neck. When he had moved his head back so he could see her face, the laughter in her face was replaced by few tears, he cheeks had a pinch of pink in it, and she had the same beaming smile. By the look in her eyes he too looked the same. When they spoke the first words after living apart for five years, they came out at the same time with the same intensity

"I missed you."