AN: Inspired by a conversation with Tumblr and AO3 user caraminha.

It's the middle of the day, and Tony is elbows deep in the engine of his Ford Roadster when the alert goes off.

"Boss?" F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s voice echoes from the walls. "Mister Parker's heart rate has risen to over 100 beats per minute and his blood pressure appears to be climbing as well."

Tony's head snaps up. "Is he exercising?"

"No, Sir. The tracker in his watch indicates that he is stationary and has not engaged in strenuous physical activity for approximately 14 hours."

"Shit." He wipes the grease off his hands with an old t-shirt. "Call him."

"Right away, Boss."

The phone rings three times before Peter's slightly breathless voice squeaks across the line.

"Uh, Mister Stark?"

"Hey, kid. You wanna tell me why your heart rate and blood pressure are spiking?"

"Oh, well, I, uh- wait, what? How do you even know that?"

The billionaire rolls his eyes. "F.R.I.D.A.Y. monitors your vitals. Don't change the subject."

"But I'm not even in the suit right now."

"You're wearing that watch I gave you, right?"

Peter groans. "Oh my god. Did you put F.R.I.D.A.Y. in my watch? What the hell, Mister Stark? That takes helicopter parenting to a whole new level."

Tony's heart twinges at Peter's use of 'parenting.' He shoves the emotion down. "Good thing I'm not your parent."

"Helicopter mentoring, then." It sounds like Peter's laughing. "I'm fine, Mister Stark. You can put away the suit you have on standby."

Tony sort of hates the fact that he actually does have to disengage the suit he'd been about to send to Peter's location. The kid knows him too well.

He glances at the screen displaying Peter's vitals and notices that the numbers seem to be dropping somewhat towards normal as they talk, but they're still a little too high for Tony's liking. "Yeah? How come your vitals lit up, then?"

"I'm at school, Mister Stark. I have an oral presentation in Spanish. I'm nervous."

Oh. Oh.

"Ah. Well, uh, oh." He pulls up Peter's location with a flick of his wrist and quickly confirms that the kid is indeed sitting in the back of his Spanish classroom. He ignores Peter's snickers as he rapidly hacks into his school's servers and checks one Peter Parker's schedule. Yep. The kid definitely has Spanish at 1:15 on Mondays. A glance at the clock confirms that it's 1:10. "Alright, then. Good. Spanish. Did you, uh, did you study?"

The kid chokes an answer through his laughter. "Yep. A ton. All freaking weekend, actually."

"Good for you." Well, at least the kid's heart rate is back to normal. Maybe all he needed was a distraction. "Well, go clinch that A for me, kiddo."

More giggles. Damn this kid, taking amusement from Tony's distress. "I'll try."

"Oh, and kid?"

"Yes, Mister Stark?"

"Please take the watch off when you, uh, take care of any adult business, okay? That is not an alert I need to get."

"Adult bussine-" Peter's voice rises several octaves as his mentor's meaning bleeds through. "I-I don't-I mean, I'm not-"

Ah, payback really is sweet. "Bye, kid. Have fun in Spanish class. Remember: watch comes off during your big boy activities."

"Mister Stark!"

He hangs up to the kid's indignant squeaks. He laughs loudly when the monitor shows another abrupt rise in heart rate and blood pressure as soon as Tony mentioned sex.

He really loves that kid.