SAINTS ROW

THE 5TH INSTALLMENT:

(Because after 2, The Third and, IV, I can't think of any other clever ways to say "5")

A SAINT'S NEW ROW OF HOPE

WAR!

Sorry, I didn't mean to yell there, just setting the tone here.

Wait… is this that "Fanfiction"? (groan) Fine, then. It's just that now you can't hear the epic "Also Sprach Zarathustra" from 2001: A Space Odyssey or not even the Star Wars theme.

What the… This is a Cross-over as well?! (sigh…) Goddamnit! This is going to be one those "Main Character falls in love with someone even if it doesn't make sense" or worse, a Cross-over where the story barely, if ever changes, like "Character from Universe A says something that Character from Universe B would have said anyways."

This is bullshit! I used to write the Text Crawl for the original Star Wars, then I had to write one for Spaceballs which at least was a good parody overall. Later I wrote one for Saints Row the Third which, if anything, was passible for a parody. But this is ridiculous and utterly stupid! I'm not doing it anymore!

One sec, getting a call… Uh huh… Yes… No, it's just that… Wait, REALLY?... Oh, ok… Sorry about that, Sir… Yes, I understand now… Thank you.

Ok, sorry for that outburst there. Wait, why am I writing down everything I'm saying? Ah, screw it. It's good writing, it shows the human side.

So… Let us continue our tale of epic proportions of two universes against all odds colliding with each other.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

Oh, shit! We're almost out of time for the text crawl! Fuck!

Uh… OK! Yeah, somewhere else things are really shitty for the good guys, things sound desperate, show setting that the good guys may have a chance to win, something about hope from somewhere else. The passing line about the Third Street Saints…

Also, in the script, I'm somehow supposed to show that this story will only follow the Films rather than the Extended Universe for simplicity's sake, But I don't know how the fuck you write that into a Text Crawl, so here you go, unedited.

("Explain that this story will only follow the films from the "Canon" Timeline and not the Legends Universe to keep things simple for now.")

All right! That's it! Done! Where's my paycheck? I'm out of here! Good luck understanding this excuse of a story! GOOD-BYE