A/N: I had this idea while doing an English exam. The phrase "The Real McCoy" means that something is truly as it appears to be, that it is not a fake. As always, enjoy.

Captain James T. Kirk had an unspeakable bad night. Since the last planetside mission, in which some alien monstrosity had tried to eat half his crew, he hadn't been able to dream of something else than mighty claws scratching one of his friends to death.

Finally he had left last night behind him. He almost burned himself with his coffee as he let himself drop into the command chair. His crew around him was already busy. Uhura pressed some buttons, Scotty stared at some screens, while muttering under his breath and Sulu sat rather placidly at the helm.

Spock came in his direction, some PADD's stapled on his hands. " The reports of yesterday. It appears that the one from medical departement is missing. Should I ask Doctor McCoy of its whereabouts?" " No, no Commander. I'll go and ask him in person."

With those words he left Spock in charge of his coffee and the bridge and strolled for the turbolift. Once inside, he leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes for a tiny moment. He asked himself what could be possibly wrong with Bones. It was out of character for him to be delayed with his report. The report from sickbay usually was the second to arrive on his desk, right after the one of the sience departement.

Sickbay was dark and silent, as there were currently no patients to tend to. Also Bones was nowhere to be seen. He wasn't here? Startled from this discovery, Kirk moved to the comm terminal in the wall next to him. He chose the ship-wide channel. "It's the Captain speaking. Has anybody seen Chief Medical Officer McCoy in the last minutes?" He had to wait for a few moments, before some Ensign from Engineering answered his question. "Yes, he just walked out here a few minutes ago. He was in search of Mr Scott, but he is currently on the bridge." Kirk thanked the Ensign and cut the link.

He was just walking to the main door to leave as a door next to him, which led to a storage compartement, opened and let Doctor McCoy outside. "Ah, Bones, I was looking for you!", Kirk exclaimed quite surprised. "Et voilà, here am I.", answered Bones with a smile only he could manage. "How can I help you, Jim?", he asked. "You seem to have forgotten your report." McCoy thought hard. "Yes, I most certainly have forgotten it on my table. I'm sorry, lately my mind is going places. I'll go and grab it."

Captain and physician trailed along the medical beds to get to the doctor's office on the other side of the room. Once there, McCoy had to search through all thr gigantic staples of PADDs which rocked slightly as he did so. Even before he could find it, the comm unit chirped and Kirk answered it. Spock was calling. "Captain, I have localized Doctor McCoy. He has just entered the bridge. He claims to not know anything about a missing report from his departement. Maybe you would like to talk to him?" In the back of the audio there was clearly a snarl to be heard. Spock ended the conversation without even waiting for an reply, clearly angry about something.

After receiving the wanted PADD, Kirk left an equally surprised and puzzled McCoy to his business. While trying to think of an logical solution to this mystery, he was so distracted that he bumped into Nurse Chapel who was reading in a book while walking. She looked up, pretty ashamed and excused herself. "Again! Today doesn't seem to be all to good.", she added, more to herself, as she went on reading. "What do you mean?", Kirk asked in wonder. She turned to him again. "Well, Captain, I already crashed into the Doctor today, just a few minutes ago, in fact. Maybe it's because of this." She waved the object in her hands. " Good morning, Captain." She left.

Had she said that she had encountered Bones a few minutes ago, when he had clearly been in front of him? How was this even possible!

The bridge was not as quiet as Kirk had left it. McCoy was standing next to the command chair and insulting Spock for no apparent reason. Spock looked away and ignored him. It was obvious that he had already tried a lot to silence the Doctor, and that he had given up on it.

Kirk turned to his First in Command and led him to the science station. "Spock, we appear to have an imposter on board.", he whispered. "How is this, Captain?" "Well, Commander, you called me as I was seeing Bones in front of me. There's at least one Leonard McCoy too many. The both glanced at the Doctor, now showing his old country doctor smile, like nothing had happened before.

"The computer is currently showing 466 lifesigns on board.", Spock informed his Captain. "That's twenty-two people too many. What do we do now? Maybe there are other doppelgaengers?" "This appears possible at this moment, Captain. This leaves the problem of to determine who has been doubled." Both thought for a short moment. "Lieutenant Uhura, please advise everyone but the bridge crew and the Engineering team to abandon what they are doing and to return to their quarters. They shall inform us immediately if there's more than one of them in their quarters. Everyone who should stay on post will meet their eventual copies there." Uhura nodded and got started.

It took only a few minutes for the turbolift doors to open and to let out five McCoys. "Jim, we've got a problem!", they said in unison with the one already on deck. The doors closed behind them, only to open again after a few seconds. Eight more Doctors entered the bridge, while being stared at by a terrified and open-mouthed bridge crew.

It needed ten more McCoys to appear before the pack realized that their Vulcan resident was present. "Hey, pointy-ear, what's up?", a choir of twenty-three man shouted. "Didn't you say that we had twenty-two people extra?" "I did indeed. It appears that at least one more copy has been added since." As if to emphasize this, three more McCoys stepped out of the turbolift.

"Conference room, now!", Kirk yelled over the noise the crowd made. The rest of the crew followed that order at once.

As they took their places around the table, Kirk got his once abandoned cup back. The coffee was already cold. He drank it anyway. "What do we do? Where do all these Bones come from?" Shameful silence filled the room. "Well, Captain, we happen to have a machine which lets people come from thin air.", Scotty finally said. "The transporter?", Uhura asked. "Aye."

Scotty and Spock ran through the corridors, to the transporter room. On their way they had already encountered too many McCoys for their sanities. All of them turned to follow Spock, shouting strange vulgarities.

Finally they arrived at their destination. The room was already filled with men in blue uniforms. "Spock, you pointy-eared, green-blooded hobgoblin, do something, dammit!", the mass screamed at the newcomers.

They went to work without reacting to the crowd. I only took a few seconds for Scotty to understand what was going on. "Somebody must have let that thing on. We have a new Doctor every five minutes." Spock looked at what Scotty was indicating and nodded. Scotty turned the transporter off before it could enlarge the crew anymore. Spock informed the Captain in the meantime.

"Captain, may I suggest that we collect all our McCoys in the shuttle bay?" Kirk nodded, only then remembering that Spock couldn't see him. "Good idea, but I believe that they will not follow my direct orders. One McCoy might be possible to get along with, that many are not." "If we use a bait?", Spock suggested. "What are you thinking about there, Commander?" "I found that they have a rather irritating tendency to follow me. Maybe I could use this." "Do so."

Spock walked ostentatiously unconcerned in the direction the shuttle bay was in. Behind him, a massive blue crowd was walking and chatting about the latest medical discoveries. He was certainly not scared, definitely not.

He entered shuttle bay, the men behind him filling the room. He watched them, they were not all the Doctors on the ship. How should he lead the rest? He hadn't to think about that very long, due to his Captain entering the hall, wearing one of his science-blue shirts and another crowd of McCoys behind him. "I think I ripped that shirt, I'm sorry.", he told him as they met. Spock's eyebrow lifted. "This was my last one, Captain!" Was he angry now?

Kirk ran, Spock barely behind him. Both were followed by the McCoys. "Captain, Captain!", he screamed. What was going on? "Captain!", Spock screamed again, "Captain, wake up!"

He was sitting in the command chair, spit hanging out of his mouth. Spock shook him. "Have I fallen asleep?", he asked weakly. "It appears so, Captain. You just wanted to go and search for McCoy, then you dosed away." Kirk pointed to the coffee Spock was still holding. Spock gave it to him. After taking some big sips, he talked again. "I'll just wait for him."