When I was alive I never truly appreciated how small and insignificant I was. For the majority of my life I was treated like dirt, like a filthy malfetto, however I never truly realized how small human life really is. I understand that now.

My days fly by. Time seems to be different here. Wherever I am. However night time is when time seems to stop and everything is clear. Compasia told me I would understand but I still don't fully.

I know I am as constellation, a glimmering star in the night sky. I know I'm dead and that I traded my life so my dear Violetta could live. All this I know. However I don't know why I'm here. I should be encased in my own pillar in the underworld not in the sky. Surely this can't be a gift from the Gods?

The goddess of Compasia visits me on occasion. When I ask her what happened she says the same infuriating words, 'There has been another bargain'. Old Adelina, living Adelina, would have been angered by this and used her powers to extract the truth. Old Adelina is dead. I'm dead and I feel no anger at her words.

From up in the sky I can see everything. I see faraway lands I never knew existed, people I never knew. I long to see Violetta. Just to check she's ok. But I can't bring myself to. I only ever watch one person. My Magino. I see him follow my star and I can hardly breathe. How can one boy still love me after all I've put him through? I robbed him, robbed us, of a life together. I don't regret it though. What would my life have been if I had let Violetta die? It would have been worthless and that would be especially cruel on Magino. Asking him to stay with me in a depressed state. But I know he would stay. Compasia gave me the option to see him. To visit him every night and the leave at dawn. I can't face him though. I have hurt him too much. Magino deserves a love which does not disappear at dawn. He deserves to have a life that is free from my burden.

This is what I tell myself as I watch him playing his lute in the night air. He is on a forest waiting for me like he does every night. The sweet melody drifts up to the heavens and brushes against my skin. I miss you. I want nothing more than to tell that to him but I can't be selfish. I won't be selfish so instead I watch. I watch and listen until it becomes unbearably painful. I watch him stare at my star and tears begin to brim in his eyes and mine. This is when I come to the conclusion. I'm selfish.