Hey everybody! This is my first fanfic in a while and I just wrote it for fun! Please enjoy and review if you are so inclined! Thanks so much!

When I Was Younger – Liz Lawrence

When I was younger
I told my mother
"I said, one day I'm gonna make you proud"

Now that I'm older
It's so much harder
To say those words out loud

You're growing taller
A little smarter
And one day you're gonna leave home
Will you look like your mother's father
When you are fully grown?

When I was younger, I asked my father
"Why are we so human?"
Now that I'm older
I think I figured it out
We're just doing what we can

Bella

I gazed down at the positive, clear as day; there was no mistaking it.

It was positive.

I could feel my heart in my throat as I lifted up my plaid flannel shirt to look at my pale flat stomach. I turned to the side, my hands sliding over my skin.

There was something in there. Something growing.

The idea made my head pound. My entire life was changing.

I didn't know whether to smile or cry to be quite honest, but either way, I was attached.

I turned the test over in my hands, lost in thought.

I wonder if this is how my mom felt, pregnant with my older brother, her freshman year of college… unsure, conflicted over her own emotions, worried, nervous, anxious, over her head.

Everything I knew would change - the routine, the wine on Wednesday nights while I cooked spaghetti, the trivia with our friends at the bar on the corner once a month, the pizza runs at 2 a.m. and watching the sunrise on the rooftop of our Williamsburg apartment as he read to me, my head in his lap as I watched the Artist paint the sky for the new day.

My boyfriend Edward and I had been together for a couple months and we knew it was going to lead somewhere after he finished school at least. We just always thought we had plenty of time to think about things like this.

I had just turned 30.

I had a decent job at a bookstore, though I'd love to be working on my own book full time, and Edward was in his third year at Columbia Law School. He had a stellar job lined up at this big law firm in the city because of his brother in law, so I guess the timing wasn't terrible.

But, we had just moved in together last week, so we hadn't exactly started talking about a life together like this.

I exhaled, taking slow and trudging steps out of the bathroom to see Edward seated on the edge of the bed in that ratty Columbia Law sweatshirt he always wore.

His knees were bouncing and his hands ran through his bronze hair, his eyes meeting mine in urgent questioning.

"Well, I'm pregnant." I tried to say as matter-of-factly as I could, but my voice was shaking.

I realized as I waited for his response just how nervous I was. I waited for what seemed like eternity before he smiled a soft smile.

"Bella, we'll make it work." Edward took my face in his hands, a fiery look in his eyes.

Alice

"Alec, stop throwing things at your sister." I exhaled in utter exasperation as I sat my bag down on the kitchen table, my keys tumbling to the floor.

No sooner had I opened the door than I saw the beautiful mass chaos in my apartment living room.

It had been a long day at the office, but I'm glad I loved my job at Vogue and I'm glad I could balance it with my beautiful family. It was my first day back after the baby and I was a whirlwind of emotions. I missed my kids and I thought about them all day when I was away, but I thought about all the things I was missing at work when I wasn't there.

After my first child, I planned on taking the six weeks of maternity leave, but I came back in three. After the second, I took 10 days. And now, after a third, I was back within a week.

I knew I got maternity leave, but I didn't want to look like I wasn't committed to my job. September issue just came out and fashion mogul Robert Hale just bought an Italian leather goods brand and was rumored to launch a luxury handbag line soon.

I wanted to make sure I was on top of things.

I loved my job. I loved my family.

I wasn't exactly prepared for motherhood, especially with how career-driven I was – but I refused to let it slow me down. Three kids later, and here I was as a senior fashion news writer for at 30.

I had to use my lunch break to go to the doctor today, and didn't get back from my appointment in time so I stayed a little late to catch up on some missed work and prove myself.

I hated having to stay away from my family at dinnertime especially when the kids were so young and my marriage so new, but my perfect husband stood in the kitchen making sure my dinner was still warm when I came in.

Jasper was a saint.

I kissed him happily.

"How was your first day back?" Jasper asked, bending to pick up my fallen keys.

He sat them in the catch all tray by the door as I took over stirring the pot on the stove.

Jasper's big amber eyes were compassionate and the crazy world stopped for a moment as I got lost in them.

He handed me a plate of sweet tea fried chicken, green beans, and seasoned okra and I inhaled with a smile. This was his 'special occasion' dinner.

It's a wonder I hadn't gained a thousand pounds being married to him. I did however, seem to always have a few extra pounds on my tiny frame in baby weight. I'd been pregnant half of our marriage already, but I wouldn't trade those cute little ones for the world.

Nonetheless, my stomach was rumbling and ready for Jasper's cooking.

Jasper had his own restaurant in Hell's Kitchen that was met with instant success and so I did love a good excuse for him to cook at home.

He was from Louisiana, and so once he started to hate his accounting job and get a little homesick, he quit his job and created a soul-food fusion type restaurant called Rising Sun that instantly became a favorite stop in the city.

It stressed me out a little, taking such a big chance like that, but I loved him and he was so much happier now.

"I'm a terrible mother for leaving them today." I sighed, taking the infant out of his arms, my heart feeling light and heavy at the same time.

"No, Alice, don't say that." He said intensely.

She began to cry at being moved and I immediately took it personally that she hated me.

My hormones were still going crazy – naturally.

My bottom lip started to tremble, and Jasper's calming hand stroked my cheek as I bounced the infant in my arms trying to soothe her.

It didn't work and she just cried louder.

This made Jane sad as she toddled over and Alec tugged on the bottom of my skirt for my attention.

I immediately started to cry with the same intensity as the child in my arms before Jasper took her from me, then wrapped his other arm around my shoulders.

"Alice, we'll make it work." He breathed before kissing my forehead.

Rosalie

"I'm sorry I'm late, Rose." Emmett sat down next to me in front of Dr. Weber's empty desk, kissing my cheek.

He talked to me like I was going to shatter into a million pieces at any moment, and his eyes danced over my face to make sure I could handle the fact he'd been 7 minutes late.

I could. Most of the time.

I forced a smile and stopped wringing my hands so he could take one of them.

He adjusted the rings on my fingers that I'd been fiddling with so that they shone in the perfect place now.

My eyes focused on my wedding ring and that gorgeous Harry Winston diamond I loved so much. I watched it sparkle in the light from the window.

It'd be five years soon.

Most of them were happy.

We were in love. We were rich. We had everything we could ever want.

Almost.

"Are you going to get fired for leaving again?" I said, trying to start conversation in an awkward jolt.

I was half joking but it gave me something to divert my anxiety toward.

"No, they need me too much. I'm the best, remember?" He grinned that confident smile I love so much.

He wasn't just being overconfident though. He really was the best prosecuting attorney in the state of New York, and maybe the country.

And even though I had a successful career of my own, that's really what afforded me the best doctors in the state of New York and maybe the country.

"I remember." I exhaled and the door opened, sending my stomach to my knees.

I sat up straighter, and Emmett stood to shake the doctor's hand with a friendly smile.

He was as charismatic as I was reserved and I was glad he was the one that handled everything and everyone. I had gotten quite tired of having the same conversations over and over and over and over…

I couldn't even bear the thought of being polite anymore.

"Hi, how are you?" The doctor began with a stiff smile.

I didn't respond or even try to mask my impatience.

The way she began with small talk suggested a dark tone to what she held in that cream file folder.

"So, I got your test results and I've been looking over your file…" She started.

Emmett's hand returned to mine in a gesture that was habitual after those words had been spoken each and every time.

I felt the world was moving in slow motion.

"You're… young. And healthy and…" She began the lead-in I'd heard a million times and I was bored.

I didn't want to hear anymore, but she continued of course.

"There's still not conclusive evidence that tells us anything about why you aren't getting pregnant." She said the phrase I've heard a thousand times in a thousand different ways.

This was perhaps the most polite.

"Have you considered adoption?" Dr. Weber suggested kindly, pushing forward a couple pamphlets that I'd already memorized.

My bones felt hollow as I stood to my feet. Emmett stood immediately with me, even though I pulled my hand out of his.

He anticipated that I was going to turn away and he put his hand on my shoulder softly.

I shrugged him off as I slipped out of the door, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Rosalie..." He said in hopes of slowing me down as he pleasantly dismissed us from the doctor's office, thanking her and shaking her hand before following the click of my heels down the hall.

"Rose, baby, wait." He called softly, in that voice he used for talking to me when he thought I was going to snap.

I didn't say anything, just kept walking, my eyes straight ahead.

I was more bored than anything hearing the same mundane speech again and again.

"Rosalie." He said a little more sternly as he caught up with me, grabbing onto my elbow as he kept pace.

I slowed a little, but I still couldn't look at him.

"I'm bored." I responded to his concern with ambiguity, sighing and pouting my bottom lip.

"I know." He responded lamely, sliding his hand to my wrist, his fingers eventually finding their way to lace through mine.

I let him take my hand, but I didn't relax my tense muscles as we walked side by side down a stale, colorless hallway like we'd walked down so many times before.

I clenched my jaw knowing he was watching for a reaction on my face.

He reached out, wrapping both of his arms around me to stop me, hugging onto me.

I inhaled, closing my eyes as my cheek found his chest. Then, I had to stop myself.

I wiggled a little, but he still held onto me. I refused to melt into his embrace – afraid of what emotional response I might have if I ever let myself truly let go.

"I want to leave." I said through easily gritted teeth.

I struggled to get my arms free, but he kept arms around my waist as I turned, dropping my weight into his wrists and obviously fighting against him now.

"Rosalie, we'll make it work." Emmett whispered to me as he kissed my cheek, not acknowledging that I was always fighting against him.

I craned my neck away from him to deny his affections and he let me go now, following me wordlessly to our car out front.