Dreams and Wonders

Disclaimer: I'm just playing in the MCU sandbox and make no money from this. Please enjoy the story and feel free to leave comments and critiques, it's the only way to get better at this. I'm writing this story for my own enjoyment.

Content Warning: This story will contain mentions of and scenes containing but not limited to swearing, violence, smut and other Adult Content.

Author's Note: 1. Finally a chapter! Grad school is kicking my ass but I finally managed to find the inspiration to finish this.

slice of life and fluff, but also some development for our intrepid captain. We'll be seeing more avengers interaction soon!

3. As always, let me know what you think.

Chapter Eight: Christmas at the Barton's

While SHIELD was the best and most advanced intelligence agency in the United States, if not the world by some accounts, it was because they had the best people. Of course, those people had lives of their own, families to attend to and SHIELD did its best to accommodate all of their agents as much as possible. Day care centers with highly qualified, and subsequently military trained, teachers and caretakers were provided at or near most facilities. Holiday, medical, maternity, and other forms of leave were provided as needed and desired, within certain limits of course. What kept their agents happy and secure made SHIELD happy and secure, and on top of the proverbial food chain.

Needless to say, getting leave for Strike Force Delta, the top squad in all of shield, was a fairly simple, if exhausting affair at times. They worked their asses off throughout most of December, barely settling down from one mission before they were sent on another, so their load would be light when they got back. Even so, the wild ride of the last month was finally over for Clint, Natasha and Steve.

All that was left was calming a certain super-soldier on their flight to an undisclosed location.

"You're sure I won't be a bother?"

"Yes, Steve, we're sure," Clint said for what felt like the hundredth time this month. "We'll be happy to have you. Laura's got the room ready and more than enough food stocked up."

"I don't want to burden you. I could do some chores while I'm there," the super-soldier said suddenly, as he had many times before. "I'll pay my keep."

"Steve, this isn't the great depression, remember? This isn't a work for food-and-board arrangement," Natasha cut in quickly, rather exasperated, amusedly so, with the soldier's antics over the past few weeks. "We're both guests in Clint's family home and you're going to shut up and like it, no chores necessary. I'm sure you'll make up any perceived debt with how much you'll be entertaining the kids."

Steve went quiet after that for a few moments, and Clint breathed a sigh of relief as Natasha snickered. The silence extended for a few moments and the pair of assassins in the cockpit grew almost concerned before they glanced back to see Steve deep in thought.

"What is it?"

Steve looked up at Clint's question and shook his head. "It's nothing. It's just been a while since I've been around kids for an extended period. I'm not sure if they'll like me."

"They'll adore you, Steve. Just relax, alright? This is what the holidays are all about; relaxing with family and living for the moment."

While there was more to Steve's response than he let on, Clint didn't push. In fact, he figured he could guess Steve's thoughts but let it slide. It wasn't his business one way or another, but he hoped his friend found some resolve while at his home. A notification went off and Clint began their final descent. It wasn't long at all for them to begin hovering over a farm and begin landing.

Between the barn and the house two kids were building a snowman before they saw the quinjet. Immediately they dropped what snow was in their hands and waved to the fighter, hopping and rushing toward it as it came in lower and lower until it finally landed. Clint finished locking down the jet before he rushed to grab his things. He slung them over his back and opened the rear hatch to see the kids, his children, bouncing on the balls of their feet.

Of course, it wouldn't be a welcome home without two snowballs streaking toward him the moment they could see him. Clint laughed as he got hit but rushed to see his kids and gently tackled them into the snow. Their jubilant cries echoed through the air and neither Natasha or Steve could resist a smile as they watched the Christmas reunion.

"I see where he gets it," Steve teased with a grin at Natasha.

"I think they get it more from him than the other way around," she said with a smirk.

At their voices, however, the two kids slowed their assault on their dad and looked up. Excitement burst in their eyes as they saw their adopted aunt, before curiosity took hold at the sight of the newcomer. Awe entered the eyes of the young boy, while wonder lit up the smile across the girl's features.

"Is that who I think it is, daddy?" the little girl wondered bashfully.

"Would you look at that I forgot to introduce you. I must be losing my manners," Clint joked lightly as he stood up with his kids. "Lila, Cooper, this is my friend Steve Rogers. Steve, this is my daughter Lila, and my son Cooper. My wife is probably somewhere in the house watching for us."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Steve said somewhat formally.

As he approached most of the family with his bag and shield slung over one shoulder, the two kids stood at attention and saluted Steve in much the same way Clint did, using a C as the salute for his name in sign language. It was Clint's way of saying "Cap" in sign, which was his favorite nickname for Steve. In return, Steve saluted them with each of the first letters of their names and was answered with beaming smiles. Before another word could be said, Lila rushed over to Natasha.

"Auntie Nat!"

"Hey you! Oh my gosh you're getting so big," the redhead responded happily as she lifted Lila up for a hug and propped her on her hip to chat with her as they walked to the house.

Aunt and niece got into a conversation while Cooper still looked a little awe-struck and awkward. Steve noticed quickly and with a smile knelt in front of Cooper and offered him his shield. "Hey, would you mind putting this in the guest room your mother has for me?"

"Yes sir!"

The boy snapped off another salute and reverently took the shield. A broad grin split his features as he began to lead them to the house behind Natasha and Lila. Clint rolled his eyes at the sight, though his wide smile gave away how happy he was with how well Steve seemed to get along with his kids at first. It was a great first meeting all things considered, and the awkwardness would fade, as would the awe, which Clint knew would help Steve settle in.

"You've got a beautiful family Clint," Steve said as they walked together.

"It only gets more gorgeous when you see my wife."

Steve smiled happily for his friend and clapped him on the shoulder as they followed Cooper and the quinjet closed up, sealing itself from use for the time being. "I'll bet it does. I'm happy for you."

"Maybe you'll find your own someday to make you just as happy, huh?"

Clint almost regretted the remark the moment he said it, but Steve's half-smile and the wan bitterness in his eyes vanished almost as soon as they came when his eyes fell on Cooper, Lila and Natasha.

"Maybe I'll just take yours."

"Ohh, you plan on stealing my wife?"

"You can keep your best girl, I'll just steal the kids."

"You're never taking Lila from me, Rogers!" Natasha barked over her shoulder at him with a smirk as Lila burrowed into her neck with a giggle.

"I'll go with you, Captain!" Cooper said with a lively look.

"Betrayed by my own son, and it's nearly Christmas!" Clint cried in faux despair, making Cooper laugh. Clint smiled a second later and ruffled up his son's hair when he and Steve caught up with him completely. "I wouldn't let you go, Coop, not in a million years."

"I know, Dad. Same here. You're the best dad ever." Clint beamed at his son's praise before Cooper smirked and looked to Steve. "But you're the best Agent SHIELD could ever get."

"Oh yeah?" Steve smiled as Clint pouted, while Natasha smirked at them when she and Lila slowed down to walk with them. "And who told you that?"

"Grandpa Phil."

Steve chuckled and almost laughed when he heard Clint mutter something along the lines of "brown-nosing fuck" before he coughed to hide his language from his son. Natasha clearly heard as well, as she began to chuckle and speak with Lila again. Cooper on the other hand began asking a ton of questions about Steve; what he did for fun, his favorite food, and all manner of things.

It didn't take them long to reach the house and when they entered Steve couldn't help but embrace the comfort the place exuded. It was a home, a true home where life, and love, and family thrived against all the odds. The smell of hot cocoa permeated the air and the well-kept house welcomed them with open arms.

"Mom! Come see who's here!"

Lila's shout carried into the house as everyone took off their winter gear. Getting a good look at them finally, Steve could tell they were Clint's kids. Cooper's brown hair was the only difference it seemed, as the boy was almost a copy of his father with a slightly angled jaw and lean build. Lilah had a more honey color to her hair and hazel eyes, Steve assumed, given by her mother, with a rounder jaw and kind childish features.

Not a moment after they finished preparing to enter the house, a woman came in with a soft, gentle smile on her face. Her eyes landed on Clint and they brightened, solely focused on her husband in a look of love. The same look, Steve noticed, was in Clint's eyes as he saw his wife, and despite the pain he felt seeing something he couldn't have, he was happy for his friend to have found something so pure and amazing.

Clint quickly approached his wife and took her into his arms. Wrapped in a strong hug, she seemed to deflate of all stress and worry and found herself happy and loved beyond all else. The two shared a brief, innocent and loving kiss and whispered to each-other for the briefest of moments. Smiles laid upon their faces even as Clint turned back to Steve, Natasha and the kids.

"Steve, this is my wife Laura," Clint introduced them finally. "Laura this is Steve."

"It's an honor and a pleasure to meet you ma'am," Steve said with a gentle grin.

"Oh no, none of that, Steve," Laura demanded almost instantly, her voice kind and playful. "I don't need to feel any older and around here you can use our names without issue. Besides, I feel like I already know you with how much Clint talks about you. Natasha talks about you a lot too when she's here."

Steve nodded in acceptance and looked from one teammate to the next. They weren't ashamed of their secret being outed. In fact, they seemed proud of him, and proud to talk about him too. But being a little shit like he always had been with Bucky, he couldn't resist at least one comment.

"Oh really?" he began with a large wry grin. "So which one proclaimed their love for me? Because if it's Clint, you may have a fight on your hands."

Laura's initial giggle turned into uproarious laughter moments later as Clint blinked in amused shock and Natasha pouted playfully to play along. Laura's breath had barely been caught before she approached him, her arms held out as if to hug him. "Oh I really am going to like you, Steve." When she reached him, the soldier didn't hesitate and welcomed the unconditionally joyful and welcoming hug that she offered him. When she had hooked her chin over his shoulder she finally gave him an answer. "They're both adorably, madly in love with you. But you're going to have to settle for the redhead, the archer is mine."

Steve struggled to hold in the chuckle that bubbled in his chest and throat, but managed as she pulled away and smiled at him. He offered an exaggerated pout to Laura and said, "Well I guess that's fair. Though melting her cold heart will be a challenge."

All of the adults chuckled and Steve offered a wink at Natasha, to which she smiled genuinely and rolled her eyes. It wasn't long before all of the adults were settling into their rooms before being dragged out to play with the kids. They stayed out there and played for some time, even having a snowball fight. Eventually Laura decided to head inside, and Steve, being the ever helpful guest, went with her to start working on dinner.

It was a routine the entire family and guests fell into. They would play inside and outside or relax throughout the day and watch christmas movies, which helped Steve cross movies off of his list. As the days went buy, Steve realized in full what his gift to Clint and his family would be. He sketched whenever he could, even painted with Lila when the occasion arose and encouraged her to keep going. Natasha even joined them in the effort, which brought a huge smile to the young girl's face. Steve even had a few moments with Cooper, taught him how to throw the shield at least a little bit, but mostly he, Clint and Cooper spent time fixing up things around the house, taking care of the farm, or enjoying some outdoor activities.

Clint finally got his hunting trip with Steve, which the two were very proud of when they brought home two turkeys and a buck. Laura looked on the edge of rebellion at the sight of cleaning it all, but Steve quickly assuaged her concerns and said he would take care of the deer, as he was used to cleaning and prepping one during his army days. It gave him time to think, and time to appreciate what Clint had here, what Natasha had here, and to be a part of it himself in some way. It was only a few days later when Laura and Steve were inside prepping for dinner that a topic that had waged a war in his mind ever since coming to this sanctuary away from the problems of the rest of the world came forth.

"How do you do it, Laura?"

Laura blinked in surprised as she continued to prep the vegetables. "Do what, Steve?"

The tall man hesitated, his blue eyes dark with contemplation as he cut up meat for the stir fry they were making. "How do you live at home without Clint around, knowing that one day someone might show up with a flag and what's left of his possessions?"

She stilled at the mere mention of it, and with the horrific realization of what he had just done in mind, Steve moved to apologize before she stopped him with but a single raised hand and a firm look.

"Clint's flag isn't the only one I'm afraid of receiving, Steve," she told him with a hard swallow as she seemed to force down so much of the emotion that came with such a loaded question. Even then, the tremble in her lip and the steeled look in her eye told Steve all he needed to about her feelings. "I'm afraid Clint will come home with Natasha's flag and possessions one day and I'll lose my sister, or the other way around and I'll lose my husband…"

Laura's voice shook and had neared a hushed whisper as her eyes watered with anxiety and fear, as if she had already experienced such a horrific event. "And I dread the fact it might happen to both of them and I'll be taking a flag from Maria, Coulson, Nick…" she paused and her eyes locked on him. "Or even you… Steve. I dread the day I receive any of their flags or hear that they're gone."

"But how do you live with that?" he asked, his voice almost a croak as his empathy for her situation got the better of him.

At this Laura smiled, and her eyes didn't seem as hard or cold as moments before. "I fill my heart with love and know in my heart that Clint will never break it, that he will always come back to me and the kids, and Natasha too" she explained to him as her own words granted her courage and strength. "I keep the kids happy and tell them stories about their dad and auntie, make them proud of them, and pray my beliefs won't be crushed by the reality of my worries. I won't lie, Steve, it's tough, but that's the life of a soldier's family."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"It's fine," Laura cut him off with an understanding smile. "I imagine it's hard for you in this time and place without your family and these sorts of questions might crop up. But we keep pushing forward Steve, and it's all we can do some days. But what about you? Have you ever had to do what I do? Or left someone at home when you went off to war?"

"That's something I never had, Laura," Steve told her with a sigh. "My family… Bucky… Was already being deployed when I was finally able to slither my way into the army through Project: Rebirth. I never had anyone to go home to because Bucky was always right there with me when I finally got overseas after my dancing monkey days with the USO tours…"

A ghost of a smile passed over his lips before it was crushed by memories that were still so fresh in his mind. "But every day that I was on those tours, I was afraid the senator's aids or the senator himself would come up to me with a chaplain and a flag notifying me of Bucky's death. I chose to join the army because it was the right thing to do, because I wanted to keep others safe from bullies, because that's what I saw the Axis as."

The soldier took a breath, and his eyes cast themselves downward as the reality returned to him with brutal honesty. It was odd to confess this to her, but it was freeing as well because she could understand him in this moment, or at least he hoped she could. He would have admitted this to the others, but Laura had a way of getting him to open up, and he wasn't sure he wanted Clint or Natasha to know right then. So he pressed on without regret.

"But I also know that a part of me chased Bucky into the war because I couldn't bear losing him, because I couldn't bear not being there to protect him when he had always protected me… And another part of me reminds myself I joined because I didn't want the slow death my doctors predicted for me, because they told me I wouldn't live past 27 before the serum changed everything," he admitted with some shame.

"I preferred the idea of being shot or blown to hell in an instant rather than wasting away in bed, and I still do. It's terrible but… Bucky and I…" Steve choked up at this but refused to let any tears fall as he continued. "We had prepared for a life where he would one day live without me… But I had never prepared for a life without him… The war changed all of that and it's what got me here..."

"And now that you don't have to be at war," Laura spoke up after a short pause to let Steve compose himself. "Have you thought of doing anything else?"

Steve shook his head. "I never wanted war to become the only thing I knew, yet it happened anyway… But yeah, I've wanted to become an artist full time and let my art speak for me… But then I think about Natasha and Clint, Maria and Coulson, Nick and the other Avengers, and I know I want to be there to protect them, and I can't do that sitting on the sidelines with my sketchbook or a canvas. So I debate with myself constantly what I want to do and some days it's truly a struggle that tears me apart."

Silence reigned in the kitchen, then, so long they both had renewed chopping meat and vegetables until it seemed Laura had found the words she wanted to say. "Then you have my blessing no matter what you decide, Steve. But if you do run with Clint and Nat, if you do fight at their side, bring them back home for me, you hear me?"

The soldier couldn't help the smile that creased his lips as he met her gaze. "I promise, their home is here and I'll never let them be kept from it, or all of you, if I can help it."

Laura offered him a small but still brilliant smile. She almost glowed with the happiness of receiving that promise before she advanced on him after she wiped her hands. She gently took his head between her hands and pulled him down so she could press her lips in a kiss upon his forehead. In that moment, Steve sealed that promise to her in his mind, made it a part of him as much as any other oath he had made and slowly stood straight up again. They smiled at one another and Laura again rounded the kitchen island to work on dinner.

They had just begun again when she spoke up. "Oh, and Steve?"

"Hmm?"

"Bring yourself home too, alright? This is your home too now."

Steve practically jammed the knife in his hand halfway through the wood as her words struck home. When he looked up at Laura, all he caught was a gentle smile upon her lips as she wiped away a tear.

"Damn onions, always make me cry."

Steve trembled, though to anyone else he would appear perfectly still. His home had died when it had fallen off the train into the frozen abyss of a winter driven river. Home had not been a place in years, it had always been a person. That person, however, was long dead and Steve had thought there was no hope he would ever find it again, because everyone he had loved had either died or was worse than dead as it was. So for Laura to offer her home as his, to give him a place in this world he could call his own?

One day, I'm going to find a way to repay you, no matter the cost.

Almost as if she could read his mind, Laura's smile brightened even more… or maybe it was because of the laughter of Natasha, Clint and the kids as they came running back to the house. In either case, a tear fell down Steve's cheek and he wiped it away on the sleeve of his sweater. If Laura new him, and he knew she did based on their interactions thus far, then she would respect his wish to keep this moment of vulnerability and gratefulness quiet.

"Yeah, those onions will get you…"

The pair were smiling brightly and any sign of tears had vanished by the time Clint, Natasha and the kids rushed in to the smell of steve preparing a marinate. Dinner later was a jovial affair and Steve was more relaxed here than he had been even in Avengers' tower. He laughed and joked and opened up with anecdotes about his mother and Bucky and all the rest even more in the next days than he ever had before. Clint and Natasha noted the change but neither Laura nor Steve said a word about it. Instead, Steve revelled in this feeling and watched Clint and Natasha in this most natural environment for them and was glad to share it. This secret place, this sanctuary that they would all die to protect was theirs, and they never wanted to leave.

Christmas morning was unlike anything Steve really remembered. Of course, he had never been mauled by children to wake up to see what Santa had brought them, and what their other gifts were. Unwilling to let them get away with waking him up, Steve quickly hoisted one up under each arm and carried them each over a shoulder as Clint, Laura and Natasha stood in the hall, their robes on and smirks or smiles on each of their faces.

"I think Santa sent my gift straight to my room but I'm not sure I want 'em," he joked with a grin that the kids couldn't see. "Think I should put them outside? Maybe Santa takes gifts back?"

"Don't you dare, Captain Rogers!" Cooper yelled as he struggled to pull himself up and back over Steve's shoulder, as the soldier just shrugged and ended the boy's progress to hang him upside down once again. "I want to see my presents!"
"Yeah, me too!"

Steve laughed along with the others before he let out an exaggerated sigh. "Alright, fiiiine… Last one down stairs has to pick a present last!"

With the ease only his dexterity and strength could manage, Steve plopped the two children gently on the ground and dashed over the railing with a wave to the kids before he flipped and landed on the bottom floor. Natasha, not to be outdone, quickly followed only to force him to catch her. With the redhead in his arms, Steve let out a laugh as she smirked at him before she flipped out of his grasp and pushed him onto his back on the stairs. Outdone by the russian woman once again, Steve chuckled before he felt the kids tumble over him in their father's arms. All the while, Laura laughed at the top of the steps and looked at Steve with a radiant grin when his own amusement had calmed enough for him to look at her.

"Go on, Steve, I'm going to get hot chocolate going."

"Yes, ma'am!'

His cheeky salute to her as he stood up was answered with a middle finger for his audacity to use "ma'am" once again. He smirked at her before he followed the kids and bemoaned his loss to the kids, their dad and their surrogate aunt, which the kids happily and playfully rubbed in. To say being on this side of a Christmas morning had never occurred to the old-fashioned soldier was an understatement, but it was a small wonder, a small miracle, that he cherished the opportunity to be a part of.

Eventually they all began trading gifts, and although none were quite on par with the meaningful picture of his mother and the album for all of his memories Natasha and Clint had gotten him before, he appreciated each one. Instead, Steve received a number of clothes and art supplies, along with collections of movies he had yet to see, including the entire Disney Collection, which he cherished a great deal for his own reasons. The kids, Laura, Natasha and Clint had been very pleased with his small, genuine smile at the gift of movies he had hoped so long ago he might have been a part of making. Even if he couldn't do that now, he was no less touched by the gesture.

Steve, of course, was not to be outdone. He presented Clint with a covered canvas, much as he had natasha on her birthday, and the archer looked at him curiously.

"It's for your whole family," Steve said with a smile. "I hope you like it."

"I'm sure we'll love it, Steve."

Clint's words were prophetic, because the entire family, minus Natasha, worked on opening the gift with care until Laura and the children stopped in shock. Clint had seen some of Steve's work before, and easily recognized it, but the sometimes stoic or sarcastic archer actually stared at the canvas with a watery gaze before he turned it to Steve.

"When-"

"The entire time I've been here," he said with a light grin. "Chipped away at it bit by bit, even at night to make sure it was done," Steve explained as the family looked at the portrait of them enjoying themselves in the den, playing games with one another. "I wanted to do something special for your family, even made some small sketches of Laura and the kids for you."

At that, laura found the envelope full of sketches attached to the back and showed clint. A tear streaked down the archer's cheek and he let out a short laugh and nodded happily as the kids almost worshipped the painting, taking all do care as they admired it.

"Thank you, Steve," Clint almost choked out.

"We love it," Laura said instantly as she got up and hugged the soldier.

Cooper and Lila were of the same opinion, and Clint instantly made room on the fireplace mantel and gently propped the painting up. The family stood in front of it, smiling as Natasha barely hid her own smile at the series of events. She nudged Steve in the side and he offered her a grin in return, one she happily returned as they watched the family take in the moment.

"You know, you really ought to open a gallery," Natasha suggested with a grin.

Steve blinked in surprise, curious and knocked off balance at the thought. "You think?"

"Yeah, I do."

"I second that," Clint chimed in as he slipped the sketches into his wallet with loving care.

"I'd like to see it if you actually do it," Laura piped up with an excited look in her eyes, as the kids turned around with bright eyes of wonder as they listened to the adults. "Oh Steve, you just have to open a gallery! If all of your work is anything like this painting then it would be amazing and it's something you could do when you're ready, when you have some spare time."

The tall blonde pondered on that idea, tossed it about in his head like he had so many baseballs in his hands decades before. He could open a gallery… Most of his work back at the tower was already finished, but he had no idea what to make of any sort of reaction to it all, especially considering some of the content.

"I'll think about it," he mulled over aloud. "But if I do go through with it, you're all getting a sneak preview, since I don't think premier night would be safe."

"It's a deal," Laura said with a clap of her hands. "Now, who wants refills?"

The cheer of the kids, and even the adults, brightened the room again and reminded them all why they were there. Even as Natasha and Clint began to chase the kids through the house toward the kitchen, Steve shook his head with a light laugh and thought over everything that had happened, and everything to come. Christmas with the Bartons truly was exactly the thing he needed to be able to look toward the future with a small, hopeful smile.