Translator Note:

Hello everyone

Well, this is my first time translating a story into english. 13InkHeart13, the original author, asked me if I could translate his story; I thought it would be an oportunity to know if I actually could something understandable in english, since I really enjoy the language, so I accepted. Really hope you like it, and if you want to give me some tips to get better or want to criticize me, you are welcome.

The space between the ground and the stave on the front porch was his place, at least until now, his spot, you know, his sanctuary.

The fresh ground below him and the gloom created by the few sunbeams trough the rafters that held the porch made it a peaceful and soothing place. It was a peace and quietness he's never felt before, not even inside the house itself, and not even in that place he could be in total silence; he could hear the steps of his sisters and aunts leaving and getting into the house. Either way that was his place, even those knocks on the wood were relaxing; like rain in the window on a cold fall afternoon.

But you know what's more relaxing tan this fresh, silent and secret place? A good joint, the pipe of peace, some devil's lettuce. You know, a good weed cigarette.

C'mon man, don't look at me like that; you'd also need some Mary Jane's help if you had to live inside this asylum. With nineteen women, nine of them your sisters… well, stepsisters, or cousins… sister/cousins? No, that's not… stepsisters/cousins? Well, one of them was my sister/sister, though she was too my cousin by my father, so… well, you get the point, and now you understand why I need this happy medicine sometimes.

The boy moved on his place (one of the corners) looking for a more comfortable position. Fuck, one more year and he should find a bigger favorite place. Being almost thirteen he was tall, or at least he would be in the future. He was as tall as Liby, and she was seventeen. The boy was desperate to grow up; his life was already fucked up to being shorter than his sister.

Let's not focus on that, let's focus on the sweet smoke getting into his lungs. You know? Let's focus in nothing at all.

Yeah, that sounds good, Lemy thought as he took another drag to the joint. It's not the finest, but it was good.

Lemy lied down; now his back was on the cool, wet ground, but just when he was about to get into a comfy sleep, a hit on the stave brought him back to his senses, and even though he was still stunned due to the smoke, a cry he could recognize everywhere and anywhere hit him like 10 cups of coffee in the morning.

Lizy!

Her cries were like an adrenalin injection. He crawled through the wood to reach the exit.

With feline-like moves, he got out of the hideout, and when he got on his feet, he spotted his little sister crying in the front door.

He rushed towards her and hugged her tight, drawing her close to his chest, protecting her from everything.

"There, there, it's over" Lemy said patting her back like a baby.

And just when the little girl's cry became just little sobs, sobs that broke his heart, just when Lizy finally calm down, he asked why she was crying.

"L-Leia… Leia threw my… Leia threw my dinosaur toy from the window" Lizy said while pointing at the front yard, where the leftovers of what used to be a T-rex were scattered on the grass.

Lemy used his index and his thumb to give himself a massage to avoid a headache.

Still blame me for smoking weed? This is the shit I need to escape from, 24/7, the whole fucking year. And I'm not talking about Lizy crying; because of course take care of a child is a mother's duty, not his thirteen years old middle-high brother. I'm not talking about Leia; she was a mean girl, bad to the bone. She messed with everyone in the house, and each one of my sisters hated her. Well, maybe hate was a strong word, but heck, she definitely was not one of our favorite sisters. And even if she was mean with everyone, lately she was focusing on Lizy, and me. Right now I'm wearing pink socks, and just for you to know, they match with my underwear. That bitch put her stupid skirt in the washing machine with my whites, and now I have to wear pink underwear, as if people didn't doubt enough about my sexuality. Now every people who look at my underwear will think that Lemy Loud likes to play on the other team. You know, the one with the rainbow flag. It's not like many girls want to see me on my underwear.

Whatever, it's not the time to ramble about how everyone thinks I'm a fagg, or how evil is my sexy little sister Leia.

Wait, sexy?

Lemy kissed her forehead, and taking her by the hand they walked towards the yard just to discover with horror that the T-rex was totally broken. Not even he can fix it now; he who brought to life the king of the dinosaurs thousands of times, he, who can do everything in the eyes of Lizy.

Lemy let out a heavy sigh; he would have to face his little sister and tell her that he's useless, that maybe this time he would not be able to save Mr. Fangs, and that weighed on him, because he couldn't bear with disappoint his little sister.

You know? Everyone think I'm a dork, a weenie and a lame-o. Only Lizy looks up to me and loves me over the others, and losing that wouldn't hurt me, it would kill me.

But he had to do it. It was like everything else he had to do but he didn't want to, like peeing outside on the cold mornings, risking that any of his neighbors would spot him and that way feed up more his already bad reputation. But he had to do it. It was either peeing on his father's flowers (take that, you white-haired bastard), or wet his pants waiting for all of his sisters and aunts to use the bathroom. He didn't like not having a favorite TV show because he could never use the TV in the living room. Between novels, comedy shows and Loan's stupid games, he had never seen what he wanted on TV. So yeah, there was a huge heap of shit he didn't want to but had to do. And this time he would have to break the heart of a five years old girl because her favorite toy was broken beyond repair.

Lemy watched as his little sister picked each one of the pieces of the toy as she started to sob again. He knows that she will ask him to 'heal' Mr. Fangs.

But before she could even talk, he knelt and hugged her from behind, and with a broken voice he begged for her forgiveness.

"I'm sorry… I'm really sorry Lizy" he said, and realizing that it could only mean that Mr. Fangs won't get better, not this time, she started to cry again, breaking his brother's soul in the process. That fucks me really bad; I rather to be the one that flew through the window, because seeing her cry hurts much more that breaking a bone, you know?

Lizy was now crying harder, and Lemy hugged her tighter; they were like that for several minutes, and after what seemed to be an eternity in hell (because for Lemy, seeing one of his sisters crying was like being in hell), Lizy stopped, and with almost inaudible sobs, she fell asleep in her brother's arms.

Lemy, with broken heart and numb legs for being knelt for so much time, got up carrying his little sister like if she was a treasure. You know what? She is, Lizy is a treasure, and if you think otherwise, we can solve it at the exit, you know, a little talk with the fists.

Lemy got in the house, and in the living room, wrapped in what looked like a nest made out of blankets was Loan, playing some videogame in front of the TV. The curtains were run, making the light of the TV the only light in the room, and the pale skin of his sister gleamed with the blinking light coming out of the screen. The sound of the videogame told him that she was killing some aliens or some shit like that.

The girl looked away from the game; the sound of the door opening drew her attention, but as soon as she saw it was just Lemy, her eyes widened making a scared or a disgusted face that Lemy didn't knew how to describe, then looked away fast and wrapped again on the blankets.

That was something that was happening very often too; lately Loan was being
apathetic and intractable. Okay, she was always apathetic and intractable, but not with him, you know? With him she was friendlier and less… nervous, they even talk a little, but lately she was avoiding him.

You know what? Fuck it, right now I don't have time to deal with Loan's mental issues. Don't get me wrong, I love her like my life, well… maybe not; my life was normally a bad taste joke, so I love her more that life itself, but come on, after some time anyone get stressed with Loan. The list of her issues was so long you could write a book about them.

He ignored her went upstairs; living in a family with 21 people, the house had to be big, and the terrain was not something you could call big, so it had to grow up, and you could bet his room was in the last floor.

Lemy walked thought the adult's hall on the second floor when suddenly a door opened, and from it one of his aunts, Lucy, left the room. He stopped and froze; for a moment he stood right there, watching the feminine figure in that tight black dress that embraced every curve of her body. It was short, so short he was sure if she bends he could see her panties. God damnit, don't think on that, don't look at her, don't look at those tights, and those striped pantyhose, and heck, don't look at her neckline, you're not a pervert, you're not like him.

Lemy had taken so long to react that Aunt Lucy, now in front of him, bent over. Good, now her neckline was in front of his eyes, and man, she had one of the biggest pair of knockers in the house. Not like he spend his time watching at his aunts boobs.

"What happened? Is Lizy okay?" she asked worried but with her usual monotone voice, or maybe it was Lemy's imagination.

He looked down, his throat was so dry and his skin was so bristling due to the closeness with that woman he couldn't answer, but when he saw his little sister's face, his heart calmed down and he found peace in her breathing.

"Leia"

He didn't say anything else, it was not necessary.

"That girl is getting out of control, I'll have to talk to Lola" she said getting up, and when Lemy thought the coast was clear, he felt how Lucy patted him on the top of his head dearly. A spark went down through his spine, from his head to his crotch… Oh hell no, he was not like that. He walked away getting away from that dark angel.

Lemy went up to the third floor running from… running from himself; it was becoming a routine.

In the kid's hall, Lizy started to wake up, and he cooed her with some whispers and rocking her a little while walking slowly to the end of the hall towards his room. A quick move in the room next to his caught his attention; he spotted a blonde ponytail and a blue eye peeping out the door, and when he turned his head, the door closed.

Leia. That name was bitter in his mouth; I've told you this before, I love my sisters, sometimes too much… but Leia, heck, she was something else. She was like a tigress: beautiful, elegant, even cute, but dangerous. You never know when they will attack; you just know they eventually will. And they do.

That's how she was, a tigress: sometimes cute and friendly like a kitty on your lap, and a minute later she's trying to rip off your throat in a bite.

He had to talk with her, but first he had to take care of Lizy. He entered his room; a lot of posters of famous rock bands from the 80's and 90's covered the dirty walls, and the space his bed wasn't occupying was filled with music devices; from a turntable to a complete new generation sound system. He even had a Walkman, those big and heavy used to play cassettes, and an IPod from the 2000. Both were broken when he bought them, and just in one afternoon he fixed them. He might look like a posser, with his long hair, that bandana on his forehead, and his old fashioned denim vest, but he really loved music.

So much that he had a guitar and a bass, a hand-me-down from his mother.

He laid her down on his bed, and then wrapped her with his leather jacket. The sat down in the floor, making some space between all the CD'S and cassettes, and hugging his knees, he felt shame for himself. He was getting better at it lately.

He failed Lizy, he had failed to the only sister that didn't feel disgust for him or considered him a freak. Well, Lyra wasn't mean with him either, but that was a special case; she was more like his mother tan his own mother, but the others… it was as if they weren't his sisters, as if he wasn't their brother, as if they belonged to a club where he was not welcome, and now Lizy thought he was useless, a failure, a freak. Heck, maybe he was. And then there were his aunts, his father… fuck, even his older sisters. Fucking hormones, fucking puberty, fucking incest.

But he would never give in, hell no. He rather die than do 'that' to Liby, Lacy, and absolutely never would do that to Lizy.

His eyes began to water, but it was because of the dust in the room. Definitely he was not about to cry like a fagg…

He got up and left the room trying not to make too much noise, and then ran across the hall. Descending two steps at a time, he went to the living room where Loan was still playing with her play station zero, and before anyone of his sisters or his beautiful aunts stopped him, he left the house. He needed some fresh air, he needed to walk.

Take a Walk.

Pasion Pit.

Original Author's note:

Hello english speaking fans! Like some of you, I've read the great work of Flagg1991, who in my opinion is the best TLH fanfic writer. I've wrote some fics focused on incest, that's what I like to do, but in the fandoms for which I have written it's not very popular. Totally opposite in TLH fandom, where the kingpin is the incest. When I read "The BS Life of Lemy Loud", it inspired me to write my own version, taking as influence the narrative and the way Flagg writes, and I hope this doesn't end being a cheap copy. However, after a year of not writing, I've read all Flag1991's fics, even three times some of them, and thanks to that I'm finally out of my writer's block, and although I can read and understand english, I still do not dare to write in that language since I don't have any idea about how to do a good narrative. So I keep in contact with Southern Reich, and I asked him if he would translate it, and I did it for two reasons: One is that in the Spanish speaking fandom, there's not many readers, at least if we compare them to the english speaking fandom. And the second reason: I want Flagg1991's criticism; I want him to know he can inspire anyone to write. Flagg, if you get to read this, man, your writing is powerful; your style is raw, dark, rude, merciless and totally realist. You're unpredictable and daring, you don't care about your reader's or your character's feelings, and that's why you're really good in what you do. In a desert full of pretension and cliches, you are a refreshing oasis. Your stories are bold and challenging; you don't care if anyone hates your stories, your characters or even yourself. Of course there may be some mistakes, but you're the best I've read in FanFiction. To finish, this story is for you. Thanks to you I had the impulse to write again, and I hope you enjoy it.

Special thakns to Southern Reich for translate this story. Thanks man, I owe you one.

EDIT 06/04/19

I decided to take a look at the story, and I feel really ashamed to see such amount of mispelled words. That's why I took my time to correct all of them. If I'm missing something, feel free to tell me.