A/N: This is one of those stories that was particularly a blast for me to revise and rewrite for this site on account of how I was able to include several jokes that weren't present in the original version due to a combination of the character length I was dealing with, as well as the fact that I was writing the story in real-time and late at night, which in turn didn't allow to refine things as much as I would have liked.

For example, instead of taking place during the events of Apollo Justice like it does in this version, this story originally was set after the events of Turnabout Time Traveler. However, after doing some thinking, I realized that it would be better to go with the time during "Apollo Justice" since no characters that appeared in the games after it played a role other in the original other than Athena, who was only referenced once in passing, and it would allow for me to use Hobo Phoenix in all of his snarky glory.

As for Maya, since the exact time that she left for Khura'in is never explicitly stated, I figured that since she sent over a bunch of Steel Samurai DVDs to Phoenix's hospital room after her car, I figure that she didn't leave the country to undergo her training until after Phoenix's name was clear and she was certain that he didn't need her for emotional support.

As for why Maya knows Apollo despite them not canonically meeting until the events of Turnabout Revolution, as you'll see in later one-offs featured in this fanfic, I base all of my stories off of the Multiverse Theory. Essentially, while we have the canon Ace Attorney timeline that serves as the cornerstone of the series, from that timeline, there are divergences that result in a variety of alternate universes- some that are so similar that you'd think that they're one in the same save for a few minor contrasts (such as this fanfic where the only change is that Phoenix introduced Apollo to Maya sometime after the events of Turnabout Corner), whereas others are so radically different that you wouldn't believe that they share the same source.

I know, that sounds so corny and lazy, but trust me, the multiverse will be playing a much bigger role in future chapters. So consider this to be in a sense like baby steps into the CzarThwomp Ace Attorney multiverse madness headcanon. But from this chapter on, if a story definitively takes place in an alternate universe, I'll let you know in the A/N.

So with that, I hope that you enjoy the new chapter!

Butz on Stage Left

(Time: June 24, 2026)

Edgeworth was not a fan of malls. Sure, the maroon-cladded prosecutor could appreciate their convenience and importance to the local economy, but between the groups of loud, obnoxious teenagers who frequented them, the countless clothing stores that pandered to shallow individuals who wished to show more skin than class when it came to their attires, and the one time he caught Gumshoe begging a mall Santa for loose change, he tried his best to avoid them at all costs.

So suffice to say, something big must have been going on at Seymour Deels Mall if Edgeworth took the afternoon off from work to weave in and out of the mall's many customers as they zipped from store to store, and indeed there was. For you see, on this day and this day only, Global Studios was doing a special show to celebrate the tenth anniversary of The Steel Samurai.

So being the closeted Steel Samurai fanboy he was, Edgeworth wasn't going to let anything stand in the way of him seeing this performance of the century- not Franziska still being in a horrible mood after he denied her the chance to prosecute Phoenix's trial two months ago, not Klavier wanting to have a deep, introspective discussion about how rattled he was over his brother's arrest, and not even how no one could get in touch with Gumshoe.

No, on this day, Edgeworth felt like he was walking on air and he would be damned if he let anything take that feeling of joy away from him… that is, until something started to smell.

"Yo, Edgey! Got a minute?" A voice that filled the Chief Prosecutor with dread called out, prompting him to to slowly turn around and have his feelings of unease validated in the form of Larry, who rushed up to him with a huge grin on his face, using a duffle bag that he was holding in his right hand to swat away several people so as to get to his friend all the faster.

"No." Edgeworth bluntly responded before attempting to walk away, only to be stopped by his childhood friend grabbing his shoulder with his free hand.

"C'mon, Edgey! I'm only asking for a minute of your time. Is that too much to give your old friend Larry who thinks the world of you?" Larry pleaded with a quivering lower lip to really play the hurt friend card.

If you think the world of me, then why can't you ever give me an honest answer when you somehow get involved with my cases? Still, knowing Larry, if I don't listen to him now, then he won't stop pestering me until I do- something that I don't need during today's show. Therefore, as much as it pains me to do so… "Fine. What do you want, Larry?" Edgeworth reluctantly asked with an exasperated sigh and crossed arms as he tapped his bicep.

"You know how I don't have the best of luck with girls?" Larry asked with his arms crossed and his head cocked to the side.

"And the sky is blue. Your point?" Edgeworth responded with a hint of irritation in his voice.

"Well, I was kinda hoping that you could help hook me up with Franzy. Y'know, grease the gears by telling her some stuff to boost my image like 'Larry's the most awesomest dude I know!' and 'Larry lifts during the summer months!'"

"Larry…" Edgeworth groaned as he pushed his glasses up. "Despite what Gumshoe preaches on street corners during his off-hours, I'm a prosecutor, not a miracle worker. I can't change just snap my fingers and change the fact that Franziska abhors you- an opinion that she made abundantly clear during Sister Iris' trial seven years ago, the Allebahst/Babahl embassy incident a month after that, and when she filed that restraining order against you a week after that when you broke into her apartment and were sketching her while she was sleeping like some perverted deviant."

"In my defense, I wouldn't have had to do that if Franzy would just model for me instead of whipping me to the brink of passing out!" Larry snapped with jagged teeth. "And by the way, I don't care what Franzy says- I was a gentleman! Why, if it wasn't for that weird blonde girl who was cutting bits of Franzy's hair and putting them in a plastic bag screaming ten seconds into me starting my sketching, she wouldn't have even known I was there!"

"Adrien Andrews' questionable behavior aside, the fact still stands that you broke into Franziska's apartment, she hates you, and she can legally have you arrested if you come within 100 feet of her and/or her property if she so chooses." Edgeworth stated matter-of-factly.

"And that's why I'm coming to you, Edgey, old pal, old friend…" Larry chirped as he walked up beside his childhood friend and wrapped an arm around the man's shoulder, only to have it immediately shoved off. "I've seen the way you interact with Franzy and it seems to me like you two have a history. So if anyone can get Franzy to warm up to the idea of kissing some Butz, it's my pal Edgey! And who knows… if Franzy and I became a thing, I may be inclined to invite you over and have a little… 'adult fun' with us, if you know what I mean…" Larry mused with a sultry grin and a wink to match, causing the maroon-cladded prosecutor to wince.

"As much as I appreciate your… *ahem* 'offer', if I were to engage in such acts with a woman, I would much rather it be with one who isn't my adoptive sister who I've known since she was two." In addition to you not being present at the time.

"Ok, so maybe it would be a little bit awkward for you…" Larry responded as he scratched the back of his head.

"Just like how the ocean's only a 'little bit' wet." Edgeworth wryly retorted.

"But that only means that Franzy would be all the more inclined to listen to you since you're her big bro! So come on, Edgey! Help set me up on a date with Franzy and make the dream of you and me being bros both figuratively and literally a reality!" Larry proclaimed with a thumbs-up.

"And what kind of brother would I be if I allowed my sister to stoop to dating a high-school drop-out artist who can't draw nor write even the simplest of love letters?"

"You know, Edgey, I may be an only child, but if I had a sister and you wanted to date her, I wouldn't hesitate to set you two up because that's what friends do- they help each other get laid!" Larry snapped, his face reddening as he glared daggers at his childhood friend.

"Larry, no offense, but if you had a sister, I wouldn't want to touch her with a 39 and a half-foot pole because she would most likely be easier than a preschool-level computer game and have been exposed to more unclothed male private areas than a gas station toilet." Edgeworth responded with crossed arms. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to-"

Edgeworth attempted to walk away once again, only to be stopped for a second time by Larry, who had resorted to slinging the duffle bag over his shoulder, getting down on his knees, and grabbing hold of the Chief Prosecutor's leg.

"Please, Edgey! PLEASE!" Larry wailed at the top of his lungs, tears streaming down his cheeks as several shoppers cast a few strange looks at the two men, much to the renowned prosecutor's embarrassment. "My ex Camilla just dumped me two days ago and stole all my money and I need a good girl to help me heal! If I don't find someone soon, I don't know what I'll do! Why, it's so bad, I had to get a new job as-"

"Get ahold of yourself, Larry!" Edgeworth snarled, glaring daggers at his childhood friend as he shook the man off of his leg. "I don't care how many times you've been dumped or how bad the train wreck that you call a life is! I'm not hooking you up with my adoptive sister who actively dislikes you and who you have absolutely no shared interests with whatsoever! Now if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere I need to be." The maroon-cladded prosecutor stated before proceeding to walk away from the dejected wannabe Casanova who remained on the ground crying.

"Screw you, Edgey! You're no longer my friend!" Larry yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Oh, no! I won't have to deal with your antics taking years off my life! Whatever shall I do?" Edgeworth responded with mock pain in his voice, not even bother to look back as he made his way towards where the show was being held.

Sure, Edgeworth's actions seemed cold, but the maroon-cladded prosecutor knew after years of dealing with Larry that the man was as emotional and unfiltered when angry as he was oblivious and unfiltered when normal. So suffice to say, after five or so minutes, Larry would be back to normal, acting as if his outburst regarding them not being friends anymore never happened.

But unfortunately for Edgeworth, little did he know that Larry had other ideas in his head as he proceeded to take his duffle bag off of his shoulder, place it onto the ground, open it up, and take out the Steel Samurai helmet inside.

"If that's how you want to play, Edgey, then game on…" Larry muttered with a sinister grin as he stared into the mask's vacant eyes.

Thanks to his entirely unwanted run-in with Larry, upon reaching the area where the show would be held- an area that was impossible to miss thanks to the large stage covered in balloons resembling the Steel Samurai's mask and a sign hanging from the top which read 'Steel Samurai 10th Anniversary Showdown'- Edgeworth was hard-pressed to find a seat in the sea of metal folding chairs. Sure, the veteran prosecutor wasn't seeking a front-row seat as he was never keen on the idea of being the center of attention, but at the very least, he wanted to sit somewhere. Otherwise, he'd be stuck standing in the back looking like some desperate fanboy who'd do anything to see this show. Granted, Edgeworth knew that was mostly true, but he'd be damned if he let anyone know it.

Fortunately for Edgeworth, he didn't have to search for long as he soon found a single seat at the outermost portion of one of the middle rows, which he wasted no time claiming as his own. However, apparently the universe felt that the maroon-cladded prosecutor hadn't suffered enough that day because immediately upon taking his seat, a mixed look of terror and embarrassment formed on his face as he noticed in the seats right in front of him a man wearing a blue beanie and a grungy hoody and a small woman wearing a Steel Samurai hat backwards and a spirit medium outfit that he had only seen on two people.

Wright?! Maya!? HERE…!? Of all the seats in all the Steel Samurai stage shows, why did they have to pick the ones right in front of me…!? Calm down, Miles. Perhaps it's only two people who just so happen to resemble them. Yes, that's it. After all, I've seen stranger things happen during my time as a prosecutor. I mean, if Maya was really here, I would have heard her screeching like a banshee from 50-

"Niiiick! Buy me another milkshake!" Maya yelled, raising her arm above her head as she shook the large paper cup with Big Willy's trademark smiling boy logo prominently placed in the center that she was holding.

NGHHOOO! Edgeworth reeled back in his seat as his eyes became saucer-sized. It really IS them! And if Wright obliges Maya's request and just so happens to glance to his right as he's leaving his seat, he'll never let me live this down- even when I'm 90 and on my deathbed while he looks as young as ever and is running a marathon in oncoming traffic with that invincible body of his! And God help me if Maya decides to get up and spots me, because then I'll have to contend with the entire world knowing my hobbies! … However, they can't mock what they can't see. As long as I stay low and don't draw any attention to myself, I should be able to get through this whole ordeal unscathed. The maroon-cladded prosecutor hunched over, making himself as small as possible as his friends continued their discussion.

"That's why I bought you the extra-large milkshake, Maya, and why I told you to drink it slowly." Phoenix sternly stated. "The show's going to start in five minutes and I'm not going to leave you alone and run the risk of you jumping up onstage and getting your third strike with mall security."

"But Niiiiiiick! I couldn't help myself! The Choco-Blast Sugar Banana Supreme Willy Milkshake is sooo good! It's so chocolatey and sweet and creamy that I just can't stop drinking it! Plus, it's available for a limited time only at select Big Willy's locations! So that means that there are only so many of that kind of Willy Milkshake that I can drink before it's gone FOREVER!" Maya yelled with a determined look on her face and clenched fists.

"Maya, I'm not getting you any more milkshakes until after the show. End of story."

"In that case, why don't you just get Polly to do it? It's not like he's got anything else going for him." Maya chirped as she gestured over to her left at Apollo, who was sitting in a seat with his arms folded and a scowl on his face.

"Yes, because it's not like I spent years and countless hours studying to become a defense attorney so that I could defend the helpless." Apollo sarcastically commented. "Though speaking of which, Mr. Wright, once again, why am I here and not at the Anything Agency taking potential clients? And before you answer, ''cause I said so' doesn't count."

"Well, aren't we curious today..?" Phoenix wryly responded with a smirk as he stuck his hands into his hoodie's pockets. "Fine, I'll bite. As you can probably tell, when Maya gets excited, she gets a little bit… unrestrained."

"Unrestrained…?" Apollo asked with a look of unease as his horns started to droop.

"That's right. And from past experience, if I don't have someone to help me literally hold Maya back, there's a good chance that she could do something that results in me having to pay a bail or a fine, and as you know, I no longer have lawyer money."

"Or money that could be used to pay me." Apollo stated with a disheartened look on his face.

"Now you're getting it!" Phoenix chuckled.

"But in that case, why not have Trucy come along?" The horn-haired attorney asked as he put a finger to his temple. "Not only would she really enjoy this kind of show, but she's surprisingly strong and could probably hold Maya back almost as well as I could."

"True, but Trucy's the last person I would want to be around Maya in situations like this. Don't get me wrong, I love my little girl and think the world of her, but when she and Maya get together, they play off of each other and they both get worse. That's why I vowed not to bring Trucy along to events like this, lest we have a repeat of the Willy's Rib Incident." Phoenix responded with a serious look on his face?"

"The… 'Willy's Rib Incident'?" Apollo parroted, his head cocked to the side out of confusion. "What was that?"

"You know how the Big Willy's downtown had that big promotion about half a year ago for that new barbeque pork sandwich of theirs, the Willy's Rib? The one where the first 100 people to order a Willy's Rib won a year's supply of them?" Phoenix asked as he stared off into space.

"Yeah." Apollo nodded. "From what I recall, you couldn't get within 100 feet of that Big Willy's without fighting a huge crowd."

"Well, thanks to Maya and Trucy making us camp outside of the restaurant for five days straight, we didn't have to. However, despite us sleeping on the curb and sharing an empty large soda cup as a bathroom in order to ensure that we were pretty much right next to the door, Maya decided to tip things further in her favor by pushing a ten-year-old girl in an army uniform out of her wheelchair and hijacking it for herself."

"Maya!" Apollo gasped as he reeled back in shock.

"Hey, don't you give me that look, Polly! When it's a matter of free Willy's Ribs for a year or having to buy them, you do what you've gotta do!" Maya defensively responded with clenched fists. "Plus, if I didn't jack that wheelchair, someone else would have!"

"Still, you- you just don't do that! It's wrong!" Apollo proclaimed, prompting the people in the row in front of him to briefly turn around and flash him a scowl to show their disproval at being victims of his infamous Chords of Steel.

"Oh, but it gets better, Apollo." Phoenix smirked. "While that little girl was lying on the ground crying and her father was trying to help her up, Trucy proceeded to push the wheelchair with Maya in it and run down anyone who got in their way, and I mean that literally. By the time Maya and Trucy got to the door, 17 people were lying face down on the ground with tire marks on their backs."

"Well, if those people didn't want to be run over, then maybe they shouldn't have been in front of me and Trucy!" Maya retorted before clasping her hands together as a huge grin spread across her face. "But enough of that! Let's just enjoy this momentous show with the rest of the refined Steel Samurai fanbase!"

"Refined?" Apollo asked with a bewildered look. "Look around us, Maya…" The horn-haired attorney gestured to the area as a whole as he looked all around him. "The Steel Samurai fanbase consists of children and childish adults like- Chief Prosecutor Edgeworth…?" Apollo gasped, his eyes widening out of shock of seeing the famed rival of his childhood hero (or former hero after what he had to endure during his time working for the man) in the audience of a stage show supposedly aimed towards children, which in turn prompted Phoenix and Maya to turn around to look at their old friend.

"Wright, Maya…" Edgeworth awkwardly responded as he tried his best to avoid eye contact.

"Hey, Edgeworth! Great to see that you're still a Steel Samurai fan and haven't turned into some boring old geezer like some people I know…" Maya chirped as she quickly glanced at the card shark.

"Maya, as I've stated on a number of occasions, I'm not a fan of The Steel Samurai." Edgeworth nonchalantly responded while screaming on the inside. "I just so happened to watch a few episodes as part of my investigation when I was the prosecutor for Mr. Powers' trial and respect the effort put into them."

"In that case, why are you here?" Apollo interjected.

"Ah, you must be Mr. Justice, Wright's new protégé that I've heard so much about, the one who, to quote your mentor/superior, 'cleans a mean toilet and takes abuse from Trucy like none other'. Edgeworth smirked with outstretched arms.

"Oh joy, my reputation's spreading far and wide…" Apollo sarcastically stated with a disheartened expression.

"Though back to the subject at hand, allow me to answer your question with one of my own, Mr. Justice: Why are you here? Putting in some much-needed overtime before robbing the mall's fountain to compensate for how little you're paid?"

"I can't help it if I learned from the best, Edgeworth." Phoenix wryly retorted. "So to pay you back, here's a little lesson from me to you: spend more time sleeping and less time in that online Steel Samurai chatroom. That way, you don't confuse the actions of my protégé with those done last week by your ex-subordinate."

"Wright, I'll have you know that-"

"Shhh!" Maya loudly hushed, raising a finger to her lips to emphasize her point. "The show's starting!"

At that moment, Penny Nichols waved to the crowd as she ran onstage.

"Hello, Steel Samurai fans! I'm Penny Nichols, your emcee for today, and I'm glad you could make it! Are you ready for an awesomesauce show full of action and suspense?" Penny jovially exclaimed, prompting the crowd to burst out into a roaring applause. "Man, that was disappointing." Penny sighed in a jokingly disapproving tone. "I thought that I was hosting a show for Steel Samurai fans, not Steel Samurai baby chumps who just woke up from a nap. Now I'm going to ask you guys this one more time and hopefully you'll show me what real fans sound like. Are you ready for an awesomesauce show full of action and suspense?!"

Once again, the crowd burst out into a roar of applause, only this time, at a much louder volume, with Maya shrieking at a pitch high enough to shatter glass, much to Phoenix, Apollo, and Edgeworth's disdain.

"That's more like it!" Penny exclaimed with a fist pump. "Now, Global Studios may have forgotten my existence by not assigning me to any films in the past five years, but I take solace in the fact that there's one guy who sees my worth and only trusts me to handle his appearances. You know him, you love him, he's the star of our show: The Steeeeel Samuraaaaai!"

After Penny walked offstage, a large cloud of white smoke covered the stage as some red lasers were fired into the smoke as part of a mini-lightshow, all while The Steel Samurai theme started playing in the background. And once the smoke cleared, the star of the show, the Steel Samurai, could be seen center stage, posing triumphantly with his Samurai Spear in all of his glory, prompting the crowd to go wild.

"Eeeeeeee! Oh my gosh, it's the Steel Samurai!" Maya squealed as she jumped out of her seat and started frantically waving at the masked hero. "Steel Samurai, Steel Samurai, I love sooo much! I wanna have your babiiies!"

Upon hearing the perky spirit medium's outburst, the Steel Samurai briefly directed his attention to her and gave her a small wave, a gesture that prompted Maya to attempt to rush the stage, but unfortunately for her, Phoenix and Apollo were able to immediately stop her by each grabbing one of her arms and using all of their strength to pull her back into her seat.

"See why I need you here, Apollo?" Phoenix panted as he tried to catch his breath.

As the audience was celebrating the arrival of their hero, the Steel Samurai scanned the crowd as he prepared himself for the next part of the show, with his gaze remaining on Edgeworth for a split second longer that the rest of the audience members, prompting the maroon-cladded prosecutor to feel a bit uneasy.

"Wright, is it just me, or was the Steel Samurai focusing his attention on me?" Edgeworth asked with a hint of concern in his voice.

"Edgeworth, I'm going to be honest with you- right now, the Steel Samurai's the least of my problems…" Phoenix gestured to Maya, who was violently shaking in her seat like an epileptic person at a rave club.

"Steel Samurai…! Steel Samurai...! Steel Samurai…!" The perky spirit medium excitedly panted while practically frothing at the mouth.

Once the crowd had calmed down, the Steel Samurai proceeded to display his mastery of his weapon by performing a variety of complex twirls, thrusts, and swings with his spear to the beat of the music, with one of his techniques going as far as him quickly twirling his spear to the point where it was practically invisible to the naked eye, tossing it up into the air, catching it, and then proceeding to spin it without even the slightest hand slip.

As the show progressed, Edgeworth found himself becomming more and more at ease. When the veteran prosecutor first heard of this show and learned that Will Powers wasn't going to be reprising his role as the Steel Samurai on account of him being the star of the new Whambo film and as such, having to be in Cohdopia in order to film his parts, and instead that Global Studios would be using someone so unknown that his name wasn't even revealed, he was quite skeptical. After all, Will Powers was the Steel Samurai. Sure, the guy had the face of a serial killer, but that didn't change the fact that he had the heart of a hero and the acting skills to match. However, despite being the Steel Samurai fundamentalist that he was, Edgeworth was quite impressed with the actors grace and style and felt honestly moved by the performance as a whole, something that he had only felt one other time when-

However, Edgeworth's train of thought was suddenly derailed by the song's audio ending with one final yell of 'Early Summer Rain Jab!', with the Steel Samurai performing one final mighty thrust with his spear as the music went silent, only to be replaced with a roaring applause from the audience.

"Great job, Steel Samurai!" Penny beamed, giving the hero a few claps of her own as she walked back onstage. "You've really showed our audience why you're the protector of Neo Olde Tokyo!"

Suddenly, as if on cue, a deep, maniacal laugh boomed over the speakers as the stage was flooded with black smoke.

"What's happening?!" Penny asked with fear in her voice as her eyes darted around the stage.

"What do we have here? My arch nemesis, the Steel Samurai, putting on a little show for a bunch of nameless nobodies?" A deep, sinister voice asked over the speakers. "Well, my old foe, if the audience wants a show, then perhaps they will enjoy the sight of their precious hero being crushed under the boot of the greatest villain in all of Neo Olde Tokyo…" At that moment, the smoke suddenly cleared to reveal the Evil Magistrate striking the Steel Samurai's signature pose of leaning forward on his right knee and raising his right arm while tilting his head to the right to look at the audience, all of whom couldn't help but stare back with looks of bewilderment.

"Oh, no! It's the Evil Magistrate…!" Penny announced, reeling back out of fear before glaring daggers at the villain. "And he has the gall to mock the Steel Samurai's famously awesome pose instead of doing his own!"

Upon hearing this, the Evil Magistrate quickly and awkwardly switched to his own signature pose of a placing making a limp fist with his right hand and grabbing it with his left. However, despite the villain's best efforts, the damage was done and the crowd was booing him- all except Edgeworth, whose only response was a slow headshake.

The actor playing the Evil Magistrate is a disgrace to the character. If I were in charge of this production, he'd be getting a pay cut. The Chief Prosecutor thought to himself as he crossed his arms and lightly tapped his bicep.

The Evil Magistrate then proceeded to turn towards Penny and slowly walk towards her, prompting the Steel Samurai to step in front of her, serving as a barrier between her and the villain.

"Stop right there, vile cur!" The Steel Samurai's voice proclaimed over the speaker as the hero extended his arm out with an open palm. "I will not just stand by as you threaten the life of this wonderful and beautiful host to end all hosts, Lenny!"

As much as Penny wanted to punch a hole right through the speaker, she knew that she had to restrain herself for the sake of Global Studios, even though it was clearly obvious that they didn't give a care about her since they managed to somehow get her name wrong in the script that she helped them write. Thus, the plain emcee decided to be productive with her anger grabbing onto the Steel Samurai's shoulders, feigning fear by digging her fingernails into the hero's shoulders.

"Oh, that's where you're wrong, Steel Samurai. I don't intend to threaten Lenny's life, I intend to wipe it from existence…! Right after I do the same to you! Engarde!" The Evil Magistrate recording yelled, the villain drawing his own sword and lunging at the Steel Samurai, who then proceeded to block the blow with his spear.

"Give up, Evil Magistrate!" The Steel Samurai grunted, his stance remaining firm as the Evil Magistrate pushed against his spear. "You know full-well that my defenses are as steadfast as my devotion to Neo Olde Tokyo after the countless times your attacks have been deflected by my Samurai Spear of Justice and Love!"

"I'll admit that your defenses have proven to be a thorn in my side over the years, Steel Samurai, but that all changes today, for I now know your greatest weakness!" The villain boasted.

"NOOO!" The Steel Samurai screamed.

"Yes, Steel Samurai! I know all about your weakness to… SPRING BREEZES! Go, Putrid Plum Petal Pulse!" The Evil Magistrate bellowed, taking a few steps back before awkwardly and slowly spinning his sword like a propeller, prompting a large fan that was backstage to start blowing plum petals and the noxious plum-scent of several bottles of unsold Matt Engarde cologne in the Steel Samurai's direction, causing the hero to recoil.

"NO! Not the spring breeze! Its foul stench of treachery and deceit is too much!" The hero wailed as his posture became more relaxed and slouched.

Taking advantage of this moment, the Evil Magistrate hit the Steel Samurai's right shoulder with his sword, prompting the hero to reel back and fall to one knee, throwing his spear out into the audience, which Maya was more than happy to claim for herself when it fortunately landed right in front of her.

"Any last words, Steel Samurai?" The Evil Magistrate sneered as he held the blade of his sword mere inches from the hero's mask.

"I have nothing to say…" The Steel Samurai stated in a low voice before the villain raised his sword above his head and swung it down, only for the hero to block the attack by drawing his own sword which had been subtly handed to him seconds earlier by someone backstage. "Because actions speak louder than words! Have at you!"

The Steel Samurai, with a burst of energy, rose to his feet and engaged in a sword battle with the Evil Magistrate. The two characters swung and thrust their swords at each other, their blades clashing in time to The Steel Samurai theme song that had started to play in the background.

"Go, Steel Samurai! Kill him! Slit his throat! Gut him and turn him into burger meat while his whore daughter Misaki who betrayed you and broke your heart in the Season Two finale watches!" Maya roared as she glared daggers and angrily shook her fist at the villain, earning a look of concern from Apollo while Phoenix and Edgeworth watched the show as if nothing was said.

As if hearing Maya's 'cheers', the Steel Samurai became more aggressive in his assault, his attacks becoming stronger and faster with each swing of his sword as he pushed the Evil Magistrate back towards the edge of the stage, culminating with one of the hero's attack's knocking his opponent's sword out of his hand and offstage.

"STEEL SAMURAI SUSHI SLAAAASH!" The Steel Samurai bellowed, slashing his sword across' the villain's torso in one swift motion as the theme song came to an end.

"NOOOOOO! This isn't over, Steel Samurai! One of these days, I'll return; and when that day comes, you'll wish you never heard the name 'Evil Magistrate'!" The villain snarled as he collapsed to the ground, vanishing from the stage in a small puff of black smoke as the cloud burst out into thunderous applause for their hero.

"Whew…"Now that was a fight to remember, am I right…?" Penny sighed in relief as she and the Steel Samurai made their way to center stage, earning another round of applause from the audience. "What's that, Steel Samurai…?" The plain emcee asked as he hero leaned forward as if to whisper in her ear. "Don't worry, I'll tell them. Good news, guys!" Penny chirped as she directed her attention to the crowd. "The Steel Samurai thinks that you've all been such a great audience that he's willing to let you spar with him! So anyone who wants to participate just needs to form a line at the stage."

"Steeel Samuraiii!" Maya squealed, wasting no time in spring up out of her chair and making a beeline dash for the stage, forcibly pushing several young children out of her way as she secured her place at the front of the line.

"Well, if I'm going to keep Maya out of mall prison, I might as well have some fun and participate in the show myself." Phoenix nonchalantly commented. "Want to join me in the line, Apollo?"

"Mr. Wright, after being forced to assist Trucy in her death shows ever since you and her guilted me into joining the Anything Agency, if I never stood on another stage for the rest of my life, it would still be too little time." Apollo remarked with a disheartened expression.

"Suit yourself." Phoenix shrugged as he sauntered over to the stage and took his place behind Maya.

"Hey there, little guy! Don't you wanna join your parents up here and have some fun?" Penny chirped, pointing two fingers at the horn-haired attorney and flashed him a cheery grin.

"Not really." Apollo responded with a hint of irritability in his voice.

"Don't worry. I know that it must have been awfully scary for a little boy like you to see that big, mean bad guy come out of nowhere, but I promise that you'll be perfectly safe. Plus, we have lollipops…!" Penny said in her most enticing tone as she pulled out two small lollypops shaped like the Steel Samurai's mask out of the right front pocket of her pants.

"Look, lady, I don't care what girls from my college you've been talking to, but I 'm a grown man." Apollo stated matter-of-factly, making no effort to hide the fact that he was done with all of this. "I have a job, bills, and a void where my dignity used to be thanks to my employers who are not my parents."

"Aww! Looks like someone's a Mr. Grumpy Pants today!" Penny cooed in a sickening sweet patronizing tone. "Tell you what- if you participate in the show, your mommy and daddy will buy you a biiig cup of chocolate milk! That is, if it's ok with you guys." The forgettable emcee spoke in her normal voice as she turned to the card shark and spirit medium who couldn't help but chuckle.

"Sure. Heck, I'll even give him a 50 cent advance on his allowance." Phoenix smirked as he glanced over at his mistreated protégé who, at this moment, was seriously considering giving his boss another knuckle sandwich.

"Fine!" Apollo snapped as he got up from his seat and made his way through the line until he was behind Phoenix, with Edgeworth silently stepping into the line behind him. "But mark my words, Global Studios will be hearing from my lawyer: ME!"

"Careful, Apollo. One more outburst like that and you won't be getting any allowance this week." Phoenix chuckled, trying his best to sound like a parent reprimanding his child as his tilted his head down so that his beanie obscured his eyes.

"I.e. a normal payday at the Anything Agency." Apollo wryly retorted.

Right after that remark, Penny motioned for Maya to come onstage, where she was given a plastic sword and was told to stand in front of the Steel Samurai. Of course, the burger-loving spirit medium also wanted to give her hero a bear hug, but she was stopped due to the forgettable emcee acting as a wall between her and her hero. Though after a few minutes of Maya being Maya, she calmed down, allowing Penny to start this portion of the show by instructing the excited fangirl to perform a few simple slashes on the Steel Samurai, all of which the hero successfully blocked with his own sword, with the exception of the final one which hit him square in the chest.

After the performance, once she handed in the sword, Maya was finally allowed to hug the Steel Samurai, who was more than happy to return the favor- even going as far as to tenderly stroke her hair a few times- before giving her an autograph and taking a photo with her.

A minute or so later, with the help of several muscular security guards, Maya was removed from the stage, allowing Phoenix to take her place, where he performed the same routine as his assistant. Likewise, after the performance, the ex-attorney was given an autograph and took a photo with the hero, though unlike Maya, he also received a fist bump.

Why is this Steel Samurai acting so friendly with Wright…? Edgeworth thought to himself as a bad feeling was starting to develop in his gut.

As soon as Phoenix went offstage, Apollo begrudgingly took his boss' place and performed the exact same routine, albeit with Penny using a more condescending voice and calling him humiliating names like 'slugger' and 'lil' samurai'- terms that made him thank whatever forces were at work that Klavier and/or Ema weren't there to see this. Though apparently, the Steel Samurai took a liking to the horn-haired attorney, because after the routine was done, in addition to the autograph and photo opportunity, the hero proceeded to wrap his arm around Apollo's shoulder, ruffle the man's hair, and proceeded to flash him a thumbs-up before Penny gave him the lollipops she promised.

Goofy, unusually friendly towards Wright and his associates, acting like a thumbs-up is a signature move… Edgeworth gulped as his eyes widened with unease. Something smells, and I have a bad feeling that I'm going to be at the center of it.

Quickly connecting the dots, Edgeworth wasted no time in trying to exit the line and get as far away from the show as humanly possible, only to be stopped by Penny grabbing onto his arm.

"Where's the fire, chief? Don't you want to spar with the Steel Samurai?" Penny asked, a bewildered look forming on her face at the possibility of someone not wanting to spar with the hero of Global Studios.

"I'd love to, I really would…" Edgeworth grunted as he struggled in vain to free himself from the plain emcee's ironclad grip. "But alas, some urgent business has come up and I need to leave immediately."

"Well, this'll only take a minute. Can't your business wait for the amusement of the kids…?" Penny asked with a sad look in her eyes as she gestured to Apollo, who was sitting in his seat and glowering at the stage with crossed arms while Phoenix did everything in his power to restrain Maya and keep her in her seat, even going as far as to give her the horn-haired attorney's lollipops. "I mean, you wouldn't want to make that small boy with the horns grumpier than he already is now, would you?"

"No…" Edgeworth groaned, knowing full-well that if he didn't just resign himself to this fate now, that emcee, whatever her name was, wouldn't give up until he did.

"That's the spirit!" Penny chirped with a fist pump. "And look, even the Steel Samurai's happy!"

The maroon-cladded prosecutor glanced over at the Steel Samurai as he walked up onstage, who was slowly rubbing his hands together not unlike a praying mantis and was probably sneering beneath that mask.

"Alright, fourth verse, same as the first!" Penny gleefully stated as she handed Edgeworth the plastic sword. "Ok, sir, strike to the-"

The forgettable MC was interrupted by the Steel Samurai whacking his opponent's left shoulder with his sword.

"Ow!" Edgeworth exclaimed, rubbing his shoulder as he glared daggers at the hero. "What the heck, Larry!? That was surprisingly painful!"

"Looks like the Steel Samurai's found an opponent worthy of his combat skills…! Who's also under the delusion that his name's Larry, for some reason." Penny remarked with a shocked look on her face. "Alright, sir, you can still win by-"

Once again, Penny was interrupted by Larry jabbing Edgeworth's left shoulder.

"Look, I know we're not exactly on the best terms at the moment, but can you-" Edgeworth said in as calm a tone as he could muster, only to again be jabbed in his left shoulder by his childhood frenemy who was once more posing as his favorite hero.

"Can you ple-"

Another jab to the left shoulder.

"Why do you keep focusing on my left shoulder?!" Edgeworth snapped. "Is your creativity as lacking as your artistic talents and the amount of respect that your 'friends' feel towards-"

This time, Larry decided to change things up by jabbing the Chief Prosecutor's right shoulder.

"You're unbelievable!" Edgeworth roared as he glared daggers at the 'Steel Samurai'.

"Well, maybe if you tried dodging instead of insulting the Steel Samurai, you wouldn't have this problem, sir." Penny meekly interjected.

"Please mind your own business, Jenny. This doesn't involve you." Edgeworth snapped at the plain emcee, not even bothering to look in her general direction.

"My name's Penny." Penny matter-of-factly stated in a disgruntled tone.

"No one asked, and no one cares, Mindy!" Edgeworth snarled, this time deciding to glower at the young woman. "And as for you…" The maroon-cladded prosecutor returned his attention to his childhood friend and pointed an assertive finger at the man. "You have some nerve acting like this towards me after all I've done for you! Why, if it wasn't for MY kindness, you'd be arrested for murder AND attempted murder on two separate occasions! So even if you don't have the best of feelings towards me right now, can you please try to act like a mature adult for the remainder of my time up here?" Edgeworth civilly asked, trying his best to calm himself down.

For a brief moment, Larry did nothing but cock his head to the side and cross his arms, as if he was actually contemplating his next actions, only to immediately start stabbing Edgeworth's torso with his sword, prompting the maroon-cladded prosecutor to scream out in frustration.

"That's it!" Edgeworth roared as he ripped the sword out of his childhood frenemy's hand and chucked it backstage, prompting the 'Steel Samurai' to reel back out of shock. "Not so tough without your weapon now, are you?" The Demon Prosecutor smirked with outstretched arms.

However, because this was Larry, instead of giving up and trying to act at least somewhat respectable, the Butz showed that he was more than willing to keep this fight going by assuming the classic fisticuffs pose used in old-timey fighting movies.

"This is ridiculous" Edgeworth snapped as he facepalmed. "Why is it so hard for you-"

The maroon-cladded prosecutor was then interrupted by Larry pushing him by slamming his palms on his chest.

"If that's how you want to play…!" Edgeworth snarled as pushed his 'friend' back, only for Larry to retaliate with another push of his own.

From there, the situation quickly devolved into a pushing fight between the two men, which was starting to resemble the saddest sumo wrestling match ever.

Eventually, Penny tried to diffuse the situation by stepping in-between the two men in an attempt to reason with them, only to be accidentally shoved offstage and into the audience by Larry.

"Harming an innocent bystander…!?" Edgeworth growled as he glowered at Larry. "This is a new low- even for you!"

Though despite his stuffy friend's criticism, all Larry did to justify his actions was simply shrug and gesture to himself.

"Oh, so you think that you can do whatever you want just because you're in a costume…!? Well, let's see how much the crowd adores you when they see the annoying, ungrateful, brain-dead, artistically-challenged philanderer underneath that mask!" Edgeworth growled as he fought with Larry in an attempt to remove the man's mask.

"Hey! That stuffy guy in the pink suit's trying to hurt the steel samurai!" A random small cubby boy wearing a Steel Samurai tee-shirt that left his rotund stomach exposed shouted as he stood up from his seat and pointed an accusing finger at the Demon Prosecutor.

"GET HIM!" Maya angrily chimed in as she stood up from her seat and pointed the Samurai Spear at her friend.

"Maya!" Phoenix scolded his assistant as he made a vain attempt to get her to sit back down.

"YEAH!" The rest of the crowd yelled as they got up from their seats.

"Nnnngghhoooh!" Edgeworth screamed in terror as he ran offstage and away from the show area, prompting the crowd to form an angry mob and chase after him, leaving Larry and Penny as the only two people left in the area.

"Well, at least this went better than the fiasco that was the 'Steel Samurai Meets the Jammin' Ninja Extravaganza' at TeleCon 2021…" Penny groaned to herself as she tried to think of just how she was going to explain this to the bigwigs at Global Studios.

When Edgeworth woke up this morning, he believed that it was going to be a good day. He thought that he would spend the afternoon enjoying a nice stage show version of his favorite television show with the action scenes and admittedly cheesy dialogue that that the series was known for, not running through the mall for dear life while an angry mob was out for his blood, both in a figurative and literal sense if the way that Maya was raising the Samurai Spear above her head and grunting like a Tusken Raider from Star Wars was of any indication.

Thankfully, Edgeworth was able to take solace in the fact that years of climbing stairs due to his fear of elevators had given him the strength and stamina to keep a healthy distance ahead of the mob. But alas, with each passing second, the prosecutor's energy gradually began to wane as his speed started to slow, whereas the mob was able to maintain their swift pace- no doubt fueled by sheer rage and psychosis.

Though right when the mob was about to catch Edgeworth, with Maya's fingertips brushing against the back of his jacket after she jabbed him in the derriere multiple times with her spear, he was suddenly saved by a mysterious being coming to his rescue, forming a wall between him and the angry crowd.

Curious, Edgeworth paused so that he could turn around to see who was here to assist him in his hour of need, only for a surprised look to form on his face upon seeing none other than the Evil Magistrate from the show facing the mob with his sword held at the ready.

"The Evil Magistrate?" Edgeworth asked with a confused tone, only for the villain to jerk his head to the side, signifying that he would hold off the mob while the maroon-cladded prosecutor made his escape. Of course, Edgeworth, being the man of logic that he was, didn't waste this opportunity and sprinted towards the nearest exit he could find while the Evil Magistrate tried to intimidate the crowd by twirling and flailing his sword about in a style that was so pathetic that it was borderline sad. At one point, the villain even dropped his sword.

But unfortunately for the Evil Magistrate, Hell hath no fury like a fan scorned- a lesson he learned the hard way immediately after picking his sword up off the ground, only for Maya to hit him in the side of his head with the Samurai Spear with every ounce of strength she could muster, resulting in the hollow spear bending and the villain to stumble a few steps back before falling back into a nearby fountain. After that, the mob split into two groups: one that ran out of the nearby exit in an attempt to find and punish Edgeworth, and another that stuck around to literally kick the Evil Magistrate while he was down.

After spending way more time than he would have liked trying to find his Porsche in the complex labyrinth of madness that this mall called a parking garage, Edgeworth finally managed to locate it and entered it without a second thought. However, luck was not on the Chief Prosecutor's side this time, for as soon as he started the engine, the half of the mob that had dedicated themselves to chasing him down surrounded the car, violently pushing it from side to side which prevented him from driving away, all culminating in Maya jumping up on the hood and trying to smash in the windshield with the bent Samurai Spear, leaving behind a few cracks before she was removed from the vehicle by Phoenix and Apollo.

"Wright, Justice, help me! Help your chief prosecutor!" Edgeworth called out in a terror-filled voice with saucer-sized eyes.

"We'd love to, Edgeworth…" Phoenix grunted as he and Apollo struggled to restrain Maya, who at this point was so overcome with anger that she was only speaking in grunts and snarls, not unlike a deranged chimp. "But as you can see, it's going to take all of our strength just to hold Maya back. So until we can get her out of here and calm her down with a few burgers, you're on your own."

"Wright, you can't leave me alone with these people! You see how insane they're acting! If you don't help me now, they'll kill me!" Edgeworth pleaded as his childhood friend and the man's grumpy protégé started to drag Maya away.

"Don't say things like that, Edgeworth. These people won't kill you." Phoenix nonchalantly stated.

"And what makes you think that?" Edgeworth growled.

"Because here comes the half of the mob that dedicated themselves to beating up the Evil Magistrate and it looks like they're just getting started." Phoenix wryly retorted as he and Apollo left the area, being quickly passed by the other half of the mob who proceeded to join their comrades in shaking Edgeworth's car.

"Curse you, Wright!" Edgeworth snarled as he slammed his palm on his dashboard before taking out his cellphone and dialing a number. "Well, if you want something done, go to your easy to manipulate Chief of Police."

However, immediately after dialing Gumshoe's number, the maroon-cladded prosecutor was greeted to a high-pitched beep, followed by a robotic female voice telling him that the number he was trying to call was no longer in service.

"Damn it, Gumshoe! Things like this are why I'm always having your pay cut!" Edgeworth roared as he ended the call. "What on earth is that bumbling oaf doing that's more important than saving my life!?"

Meanwhile, in the mall's fountain, after being assaulted by the angry fans, the evil Magistrate's mask had been removed and stolen, revealing the man to be none other than Gumshoe, who was struggling to remain conscious as he collected loose change from the bottom of the fountain next to the scraps of plastic and metal that used to be his cellphone.

Though before Edgeworth could call 911 like a regular person, his cellphone started to ring, and upon seeing the caller id, he knew this was a call that he had to answer.

"What, Larry?!" Edgeworth hissed through clenched teeth. "Haven't you ruined my day enough?!"

"Ready to apologize?" Larry smugly asked.

"NO!" Edgeworth roared as he squeezed the life out of his poor phone. "If anything, YOU should be the one apologizing to ME!"

"Fine. In that case, have fun with the fans." Larry sneered before immediately ending the call.

"LARRRRYYYYYYY!" Edgeworth screamed at the top of his lungs as the crowd delivered a push to the car that especially hard, causing Edgeworth to drop his phone, which then proceeded to slide underneath his passenger's seat to an area that he couldn't reach, leaving him without a cellphone.

After 30 minutes of the mob angrily shaking Edgeworth's car, bashing in the trunk, and scratching several lewd messages and images into the side with their keys, Gumshoe finally recovered from his injuries and arrived at Edgeworth's location with the S.W.A.T. team and several police squads, rescuing the veteran prosecutor (and receiving a pay cut for not responding sooner) and having all of the members of the mob present arrested for assault and/or destruction of property.

As for Larry, he was placed under arrest for inciting the riot to begin with, with his trial being held the next day. Of course, Edgeworth would have loved to prosecute the case himself, but alas, he was unable to thanks to the mountain of paperwork that he had to catch up on due to his afternoon off. But even though the Chief Prosecutor couldn't prosecute the trial and get justice for himself, he couldn't complain because he was finally able to compensate Franziska for denying her the chance for her 'perfect' revenge in regards to Phoenix's trial by allowing her to prosecute Larry's- an offer that she was more than happy to take. Predictably, the trial ended with a guilty verdict in only two and a half minutes- a von Karma family record- and Larry was sentenced to prison for a month. Though right before Larry was removed from the courtroom, Franziska stopped the officers so that she could deliver a message to the Butz from Edgeworth: "Are you ready to apologize?"