Paige has lived with Cassie and Jake long enough, at least, to know that Cassie's snores are always followed closely by a small fluttery sigh and that Jake, more or less, sleeps like the dead (i.e. no snoring involved) It's a small detail to know about someone, though it's enough to help her realize that the loud and unruly snores currently booming through the small apartment are not coming from one of her roommates. The snores startle her out of sleep slowly, like an itch on her nose that won't leave her alone. She frowns, still mostly asleep, trying desperately to hold onto unconsciousness. it's all to no avail, though, and soon she finds herself surrendering to the noise as she reluctantly pops one eye open.

It's late, she knows, though she still reaches over to confirm with the bright screen of her phone. 3:47a.m. "Christ" she mutters, and the sound of it is almost immediately lost to the symphony of snorts and sputters echoing through the darkness of the house. She's disoriented by the entire situation for a moment before grunting and rolling onto her side, mourning the fact that her alarm will go off in less than three hours.

The snoring continues, of course, and really, the sound is excruciating.

When Paige finally reaches the origin of the noise, droopy-eyed and only really half awake, it takes her a couple moments to recognize the dude currently passed out on the small couch. His hair is disheveled, sticking out in every direction and his mouth is slightly parted, a small path of droll trailing the corner of his lips.

its Rainer Devon, she decides after a couple moments of staring. Her eyes go wide in disbelief and she blinks once, then twice but the snoring lump never changes form. Its him- or at least it looks like him—the eyebrows, the jaw- She's seen enough of his movies, at least, to recognize that jawline when she sees it.

Her next thought, of course, is why is Rainer Devon sleeping on my couch?-logical question, though perhaps a little too complex for her still sleep-muddled brain.

She's still sorting through it all when Cassie shuffles into the living room. Her yawns suggest sleep interrupted as she makes her way over with her robe tied tightly around her waist, looking some middle between guilty and apologetic.

Paige doesn't need to say much, only: "Cassie, why is Rainer Devon passed out on the couch?"

Cassie lifts both hands in what's meant to be a calming gesture and says "Paige, I can explain-I didn't kidnap him, I swear"

Paige nods, wide eyes flickering between her friend and the passed-out lump on the couch

Cassie pauses for a moment, eyebrows knitting together with concern as she glances wearily at Rainer "I was working my shift at the Pizza Dome, you know, Friday night, super busy- and towards the end of the night Rainer Devon strolls in with some massive cult of girls-buys copious amounts of pizza-and I'm talking thousands of dollars' worth" she pauses, throwing him another glance and shifting her weight in that nervous way that she sometimes does before a test or a big audition.

"The place got crazy, half of LA must have been there-#WhereisRainer apparently gets a lot of foot traffic" she shrugs "Anyways, when we were cleaning up, he was just there, passed out on the bar-I-I mean, at one of the tables" Cassie pauses, peeking again in his direction before continuing "The party was over, no more drinks, no more selfies and he was just so…. alone. And I don't know Paige, I couldn't just leave him there"

Paige nods concedingly and Cassie swallows, knits her fingers together and adds, "Plus he was wasted, it would've been irresponsible to just leave him there to fend for himself, what if he had liver failure or-or choked on his own vomit like on CSI"

She's right, obviously, and the mental image of Rainer Devon choking on his own vomit forces Paige to take a moment to actually see him.

It really does seem like he's seen better days. His shirt, one of those patterned silky numbers that looks like it might cost the same as their rent, is crumpled at all the movable joints in a way that may never iron out smooth ever again. There's a crust of what looks suspiciously like dry vomit splattered down the front and some of the buttons towards the collar of the shirt look tired from holding him together. He's sprawled over the length of the couch, leg hanging off, neck twisted-

"What a mess"

She's not sure if she means him or the situation though, still, Cassie nods

.

.

.

In the end, they decide it's best to let him sleep.

They wake early, early enough to intercept Jake and explain-he listens closely to the whole story with an unreadable expression and when Cassie has finally blurted out all that needs to be said he nods calmly and says, "This town is fucking nuts"

Then they're all sitting in a semi-circle, sharing the narrow surface of the coffee table, gawking shamelessly at the guy who is, more or less, the embodiment of fame. It's not nearly as glamorous as perhaps they would expect and the snoring, oh god, the snoring has somehow gotten worse.

"Who knew Rainer Devon snored like a freight train"

"No one, Cassie- I'm sure his PR team goes through great lengths to keep that on lock"

"It's so nasally"

"Maybe it's a medical condition"

They all look at each other in serious consideration

"Maybe it's- "

But then a deep and stale voice interrupts, "It runs in the family" a yawn, then a wince "you should hear my mother, she's ten times worse"

Rainer Devon blinks a couple times, harder probably than is entirely necessary, though still the world around him remains blurry and much too bright, why is everything so bright

His head is pounding and his mouth tastes like whiskey and vomit

"It's the morning" Paige says carefully "That's why, uh, it's so bright"

"What?"

"You asked why it was bright, its um morning"

"Right" Rainer says, dragging out the word long enough to look around "Yes, morning" A pause, and then "and who are you guys again?"

at that Cassie sighs "It's a long story buddy"

.

.

.

Months after, Paige sits on that same couch, legs cramped up from crossing and uncrossing, starring intently and mostly speechless up at Rainer Devon.

Who, on his end, is staring down at her pleadingly

"Um" Paige says "What?"

"Paige C'mon" he's pacing back and forth, talking a mile a minute. It's making her head spin, really, and all she can really do is stare up at him with her mouth slightly ajar.

"Listen" he starts again, "I know it sounds bad, but it won't be-bad- it'll be fun, maybe, and it's just this one time and- "

"Wait, Rainer, I know I heard you but I'm not quite sure I…. understood you?" and Paige should be used to that, she realizes, even as she hears herself say it, because Rainer is… Rainer is Rainer. And she hasn't really seen him all that much since he woke up on the couch in their apartment…There was that party he threw in their honor for 'saving his life' which looked like it cost way too much money and had way too many people they didn't know-and then there was that one time he stopped by randomly with takeout and a movie, which they ate and watched sort of awkwardly- but other than that…she really doesn't know him at all- and yet here he is, asking her to-

"Just be my girlfriend, Paige" he blurts out again, staring at her with big brown pleading eyes "It's one event' he says, lifting a single finger to illustrate his point "just pretend to be my girlfriend for one event, please" he looks, well, desperate and Paige can't help but feel just a little bit bad for him, all things considered

"No way, Rainer, why don't you ask one of your actress friends, isn't that what they do for a living? Act?"

Rainer sighs and rolls his eyes "No, that's precisely it, I need someone completely unknown, a nobody-" sensing potential offense, Rainer pauses and takes a second to regroup. Paige thinks that she should be concerned as she practically sees a lightbulb go off in his head.

He circles around the coffee table and onto the spot next to her on the couch. Suddenly, he's close, close enough to feel the warmth that might live under the sleeves of his t-shirt. He smells of something probably expensive and his voice is soft yet almost mocking when he finally speaks "do it if only out of pity Paige- I was just cheated on and ridiculed on E! news for the whole world to see" it hangs between them for a moment, the elephant in the room, the entire reason he's here, practically begging her to make an appearance with him at some red carpet event to ward off the bad press.

Although Paige isn't quite sure that what he needs is new relationship buzz, she still asks "and your mother is on board with this?"

"It was her idea, actually"

Paige sighs and peaks up at him from under her eyelashes, he knows exactly what he's doing, that much is obvious, and he know her well enough, at least, to know that she's a sucker for a sob story.

"one event, Rainer, one"

His face erupts into a smile and inside, Paige hopes she hasn't made some astronomical mistake.