So I recently watched this movie for like the 20th time (I freaking love it!), and I thought, why not try to write a fanfic about it? So, here goes. Please enjoy!

5 or 6 years earlier

They were holding on to each other and laughing as they came out of therapy. John kissed Jane's temple, and she smiled up at him. Things were going very well, and they couldn't be happier. They didn't think they'd need to come back to see Dr. Wexler anytime soon. They had new lives now. Each agency had requested that they retired, and they agreed. It was time to try different things in life anyway. That, and it would be tiresome after a while to keep rebuilding a house only to have it blown up again by their companies in attempts to murder them.

"Are you happy?" John asked while they were driving home.

"What kind of question is that?" Jane countered. "Of course I'm happy."

"Really? You don't have anymore fantasies of killing me?" he joked.

"Only with pleasure," she winked.

"Going on eleven," John muttered happily to himself. He was eager to get home. They waved at the Colemans as they went up their driveway.

"What do you feel like eating tonight?" Jane asked. She had started cooking for herself, and John was pleasantly surprised that she was actually good. Really good.

"Surprise me," he smiled. He went into the living room to check out the news. It was depressing as usual, so he turned it off and went to join Jane in the kitchen. He went to pour some wine and handed Jane a glass.

"To us," he said, clinking her glass. She smiled as he took a sip, not following suit.

"I have some news," she said as he gave her a curious look. He swallowed hard.

"Oh yea?"

"Yea," she nodded.

"Good news?" he asked.

"I'm pregnant," she said at the same time.

"Wow," he replied, setting down his glass and taking hers away from her. He pulled her into a hug.

"Is that a good wow or a skeptical wow?" she asked, burying her head into his neck.

"It's a bit of a good wow mixed with a holy shit wow and I'm gonna be a father wow," he explained, making her laugh.

"I'm a little nervous myself," she admitted. He held her at arm's length and tilted her chin with his finger.

"We are in this together, and no one is gonna be a better mom than you," he promised. She smiled.

Present

"Don't forget to get Kyle from school," Jane called as John grabbed his keys. She had dropped Kyle off that morning and visited her first client's home and was now heading out to look at another client's home that was requiring remodeling. John was now a private investigator, and he mainly worked from home, but today he was going out scouting.

"Like I'd forget my own son," John scoffed. The boy was five almost six, or something like that. John couldn't remember. He wasn't the greatest with dates it seemed.

"Do I need to remind you of the mall incident?" she asked, smirking.

"It was one time," he said. "One time! I turned away for one second..."

"And our son was found twenty feet away from you. He was awfully fast for one second," Jane teased.

"Can we drop this?" John asked. He still felt embarrassed from the lady who had found Kyle and was talking in baby talk about how his Daddy was a dimwit. Not in those exact words of course, but it was implied. It still steamed him.

"Just bring him home in one piece," Jane instructed, giving him a kiss before they went their separate ways. John rolled his eyes in response and headed for his car.

...

"What are we doing here, Johnny?" Eddie asked. They were sitting at a diner sipping coffee and waiting for someone to show up.

"We're doing our job, that's what we're doing," John answered. Eddie had retired from his contract killing job to join John, and the duo actually did decent work together.

"You really think this punk is gonna tell us where to find this guy?" Eddie went on. "I don't think so."

"He'll tell us," John assured him. "I happen to have some friends who get hired to kill people, remember?"

"Not anymore you don't," Eddie laughed.

"I'm sure ol' Benjamin would help me out if I asked," John told him.

"Who, the Tank? Yea right. He got promoted, so he thinks he's Mr. Big Shot now," Eddie said.

"There he is, look sharp," John ordered, straightening up. The teenage boy who came into the cafe almost made Eddie laugh out loud. The guy had a very fluorescent green mohawk with multiple rings in his nose and his pants underneath his butt. Eddie had half a mind of chasing him just to see if the kid could actually get away without tripping.

"'sup?" the kid asked, standing by their table.

"You're Victor?" John asked casually.

"Sure am."

"Have a seat."

"I'm good," Victor shrugged. Eddie went to open his mouth, but John kicked him under the table before he could spit out something stupid.

"You have something for me?" John asked as Eddie cringed from the pain. Victor flicked his eyes over at Eddie briefly before answering.

"Sure do," he said, handing John an envelope.

"Thanks, Vic," John smiled.

"Where's my payment?"

"Oho!" Eddie crowed. John shot him a look before handing over some cash.

"Your friend needs to learn how to be social," Victor scoffed as he turned and left. Eddie leaped up, causing John to lean over the table and grab his jacket, preventing him from chasing the kid down.

"Park it," he ordered. Eddie reluctantly sat back down.

"I wanna hurt that punk so bad," Eddie said. "I'll show him social!"

"He's just a kid. We got what we needed, and he got his. We will never see him again," John promised.

"Who wears their pants like that?" Eddie asked. "Could you imagine if we did that when we were killers? How would you ever run away fast enough?"

"It seems to be the thing these days," John commented. "I'm not sure why."

"Are we just old? Un-hip?" Eddie asked.

"I don't see anything hip about showing off my ass to everyone," John answered. "Come on, we've got work to do."

"Um, buddy? Aren't you forgetting something?" Eddie asked, pointing at his watch. It took John two seconds to remember.

"Shit!" He tossed the envelope to Eddie and went out the diner door.

"I'll just get right on this, John," Eddie said sarcastically. "No problems, John! I can handle it alone. I'll also pay for our drinks." He got up and paid for their coffees before going out the door into the sunshine.

...

John barreled down the sidewalk and into the school right at three fifteen p.m., and the one teacher there gave him a dirty look.

"I was on time," he huffed, gesturing. He saw Kyle standing with his bag in his hand. "Hey, buddy! How was your day?"

"Good," Kyle responded. John took his bag from him, and Kyle grabbed his hand.

"See you tomorrow, Kyle," the teacher said sweetly. John gave her a look back. Of course she'd be rude to him and then all sweet with his son.

"What did you learn today?" John asked as he buckled Kyle into his seat.

"I learned to add," Kyle replied solemnly. "And I watched Jack eat a bug."

"That's...entertaining," John commented. He didn't want to know what kind of bug. That was one thing he admired about children. Their gross factor wasn't fully developed yet.

"Did you find anybody today?" Kyle asked. That was his understanding of John's job, finding people.

"Not yet. I'm working on a case, though," John answered.

"Cool," Kyle said gleefully. "Jack thinks I'm making up your job."

"Well, Jack eats bugs, so what does that tell you?" John asked. Kyle giggled.

"Is Mom gonna be home?"

"I'm not sure. Let's hope so. I don't think she'll appreciate me burning dinner again," John joked.

"I didn't appreciate it either," Kyle responded, making John laugh out loud. His son was so literal sometimes.

...

Kyle was asleep, and Jane was playing on her computer and making designs. John was on his laptop and doing some online research. Suddenly, an email popped up in the right hand corner, and John stared at it.

"Huh," he said. Jane didn't flinch. He opened it, curious as to what was in the message. He almost started laughing out loud.

"What?" Jane asked, hearing him stifle a snicker.

"Benjamin just emailed me," John said. "He has a mission for us and wants to talk."

"Are you serious?" Jane asked. "The Tank? The guy whose head I bashed in with a telephone?"

"Yea. He's telling me he's serious," John indicated. Jane got up and went to read over his shoulder.

"He is," she nodded. Then she looked at John. "What are we gonna do?"

"I say ignore it," John said. "The guy was trying to get us to kill each other, remember? Why should I help him?"

"I think that's a good idea," Jane agreed. She went back to her computer. Her legs were restless. It had been an awfully long time since she'd killed anyone. She was starting to feel antsy.

"No," John said, as if reading her mind.

"Just one?"

"No! We have Kyle now. We can't be out killing people while he's asleep," John argued.

"It'd be fun," Jane sang.

"No," John repeated. "And that's final."

The Next Day

"Okay, we're here, what do you want?" John asked. Jane sat there looking pleased with herself. She had worn him down last night after hours of pleading her case. In the end, John grew tired of hearing about it, so he said "fine."

"I have a target that I think only you two could take down," Benjamin started. He showed them the file, and Jane immediately started searching through it. John noticed her eagerness, and he felt partly proud and partly hurt that she could just jump right back into this.

"Why us?" John asked, suspicious. "Do they know you're asking us? I mean, they did try to murder us both at one time."

"They think you'd be great as a team, and we're hiring you as an outside contract," Benjamin explained.

"We'll do it," Jane said instantly.

"Now just hold on a minute," John said, putting his hand out. "What is the pay?"

"Two million," Benjamin replied.

"Honey!" Jane said, smacking his chest. "Let's do it! I mean, come on, I'm bored, you're bored..."

"I am not bored," John disagreed.

"Okay, well, I'm bored, and I want to do this," Jane begged. She gave him an imploring look.

"Okay fine," John agreed. "But just this one time!"

Ten or Eleven Years Later

"I love this," Jane sighed happily. They were perched on a ridge, waiting for their next target. John was scratching his chest absently while she searched through her sniper scope.

"Remember when I said 'just this one time?'" John asked.

"Vaguely," she replied.

"How did we get here?"

"By being good at what we do," Jane answered. She looked over at him. "You're still happy, right?"

"I'm tired. I'm old, and I don't like lying in the dirt anymore," he whined.

"We are not old," she admonished. "We are only 41 years old."

"Well, I feel like I'm 53," he commented.

"Oh stop," she scolded. "Our target is almost here." John made another groaning sound as he lowered himself beside her.

"Did you hear all my joints cracking? They're saying, 'We're too old for this, John!'" he said, mimicking a high pitched voice.

"Shush," Jane ordered, zooming in on the target. John made a face when she wasn't looking. He started thinking about Kyle. He hoped Eddie wasn't being too free with the alcohol with him.

...

"Why does it feel like my parents are always away on a trip?" Kyle asked. Eddie finished his swig before commenting.

"They love to travel. Who doesn't?" he asked.

"Well, why couldn't they take me once in a while?" Kyle grumbled.

"Cos you have school."

"Not in the summer!"

"Well, then I'm out," Eddie said. "Ask them when they get home."

"I have asked. They either ignore me or laugh," Kyle said.

"Can't help ya, kid," Eddie shrugged. "Don't you have homework to do?"

"Yea, yea," Kyle sighed. He went up to the room he stayed in when his parents were away. He felt frustrated that they wouldn't share with him where they went. He originally thought it was for his Dad's PI business, but when his Mom started going too, it got suspicious. Why did an interior decorator need to go help with Dad's cases all the time? His phone vibrated.

You wanna hang?

Sure.

Sneaking out of Eddie's house was easy. Kyle did it all the time. He was going to meet his buddy, Jack. Despite the guy being a bit stupid at times, he was all right.

A Few Days Later

Where the hell were they? Eddie was growing worried. They should have been back by now. Kyle was starting to ask questions that he couldn't answer, and he began to feel like something had gone wrong. When he tried to call, no one answered. This felt bad. He gave in and dialed Benjamin's number.

"What do you want?" Benjamin asked, knowing it was him.

"Where the hell are John and Jane?" Eddie countered. "They aren't home yet."

"I'm not their babysitter," Ben huffed.

"Have they checked in at all?"

"No."

"And you didn't think that something was wrong?"

"They're good at what they do. They'll be all right," Ben answered.

"Why you..." Eddie started, but he caught himself. "Send me their coordinates, and I'll go take a look."

"It's classified."

"Oh, come on. I used to be damn good too, you know! You want them to come back alive or not?" He heard Ben thinking over the phone.

"All right, but keep it contained."

"Done," Eddie said, hanging up. He waited for the coordinates while wondering what to do with Kyle. Maybe, after all this, it was time to tell him the truth about his parents.

So what do you think? Should I continue?