God's Blessings on this IRL World!

Disclaimer: Contains sexual situations.

…

...

Chapter 1: NEET Period

Part 1

In this dark room, I had been gazing at the synthetic light of my monitor screen for 9 hours now.

As an elite ranker who is in the top 10 in all the mainstream titles in Japan, this much is expected of me.

"Damn it!"

But…

"What the hell are you doing?! You've somehow attained the advanced class of crusader but you haven't even hit a target yet?!"

I had been playing a new game at the time.

"…Arch-Priest! You need to heal…no, not a party trick! And don't waste your precious spell-slots on useless party tricks!"

It wasn't that great of a game.

There were too many flaws

Balance?

There's no such thing.

We've already encountered one of the mid-bosses, a dullahan, in the tutorial town.

Somehow we killed it, but still!

As for why I'm still playing this game…

Well, I really don't know the exact reason as to why.

Perhaps I was more stubborn than I initially thought.

To make matters worse…

"…Please, I'm begging you, Arch-Wizard, don't cast explosion now, you'll kill all of us."

Somehow, I, an elite ranker, got stuck with this troublesome party.

"I am Megumin! Wielder of Explosion magic! One who…"

From our party chat, I heard the usual chuuni speech of this brat.

At first I thought that I struck gold when I gathered a party full of girls.

My popular period has finally arrived!

I declared such things to my guild friends from other games.

But…

A crusader who couldn't land any of her attacks, even though the crusader class didn't require mechanics beyond pointing and clicking.

An arch-priest who unlocked more party skills and emotes than any skill that was actually serviceable.

And to round up this trio of liabilities…

"Explosiooooon!"

An Arch-Wizard who spent all her skill points in the useless explosion magic skill-tree.

An RP-er chuuni brat who called herself Megumin.

As the words 'You Died' flashed across my screen, I heard the voice of the arch-priest, who had the online handle 'Aqua', in my earpiece.

"Ahhh! The character I've been levelling up as if he was my son! Megumin, how dare you, how dare you!"

"Aqua! You mustn't fight against a fellow party member! If you have abusing things to say, then you must direct them to me instead!"

Darkness, the crusader, displayed her questionable tendencies once more.

"Ah…I've unleashed my explosion. Thank you for the opportunity, everyone. I will log-off now."

Megumin would always log-off once she used her explosion.

She didn't give a crap about the game at all, she just wanted to use that explosion spell.

"Kazuma, as the party's leader, you have to discipline that girl! She can't just go around doing whatever she wants!"

The selfish Aqua who spent all the party's gold on purely cosmetic items and loot-boxes had the nerve to say such a thing.

"Everyone, I regret to say this, but I have to log-off soon. It has been a pleasure to play with you all today. Please treat me just as well tomorrow."

I didn't know if she really was an ojou-san IRL, or if Darkness was another role-player like Megumin, but it didn't matter, they were both equally useless.

And so I was left alone in the party-chat with Aqua.

"Ah, I'd love to stay and chat like we usually do, but I have a concert tomorrow. If you're in the Tokyo area tomorrow, make sure to stop by! Laters!"

This Aqua was a self-proclaimed idol.

As if I'd believe that such a horrid personality could belong to a real idol.

I thought about grinding my character some more, but eventually I just logged-off from the game.

I was getting messages from my other guild friends, asking for my assistance on quests.

I just didn't feel like doing anything, though.

Playing with that sad bunch had an effect of always sapping me of all energy and motivation.

I looked at the empty tray of food that I placed under my desk. On it was an unwashed plate that was plastered with the solidified grease of the curry my mother made for me.

I looked outside my curtainless window. There was a flurry of wet snow falling outside.

I looked at the time, 7:30 pm.

"…I guess I can bum around at an internet café or something."

This was around the time when my father came home.

I grabbed a coat and wore it over my tracksuit.

Going downstairs, I was relieved to see that my mother had gone back to her room.

She knew that I would always sneak off at this time.

And then I stepped outside into the cold night.

Part 2

In the internet café, even though I didn't really feel like it, I ended up booting the client for that new game I had been playing.

'God's Blessings on this Wonderful World'.

I suppose, since this game had been occupying a lot of my attention recently, I've developed a habit and a natural inclination to play it.

Even though I really hated playing this game.

The bad game design I could put up with.

But those girls who just couldn't get a clue and would follow me wherever I went, no matter how many times I attempted to ditch them…

They were the primary deterrence as to why I couldn't derive any form of enjoyment out of this game.

Why can't I just get rid of them!

Even in the online realm, I was still this passive in my approach towards all things.

Logging on, I noticed that Megumin had come back, as well.

She sent me a message but I ignored her.

I didn't really feel like doing anything that would require more than 1/3 of my attention or effort.

I took to grinding in a fairly noobish training ground.

Meanwhile, I ignored the messages that Megumin would send me.

However…

After a while, the notification sound just got plain annoying.

I considered muting her, but that was more trouble than it was worth. She'd surely give me hell about it tomorrow.

"..."

I relented and checked her message...

Megumin: Hey! Wanna grind together? I want to grind hard with you! Let's grind together for the rest of the night!

Don't say such suggestive things!

I accepted her invitation with the ease that came with habitual passivity.

She led me to one of the higher levelled training grounds.

Things like one-shot bears and manticores spawned here.

This was obviously a bad idea, but the most basic concepts always eluded Megumin's mind.

I prepared to cast all of my speed buffing skills as Megumin prepared to chant her explosion magic.

And that's when I suddenly heard a voice beside me.

"I am Megumin!"

I knew her voice too well.

I've been hearing it through my headphones since this game came out three months ago.

However, I had neglected to bring my headphones this time, and I didn't feel like using the ones for public use.

So, I heard this voice directly beside me.

She was a little girl with short black hair.

I noticed that she was wearing a red contact lens on one eye that seemed to glow when it reflected light, and an eye-patch covered the other.

She wore a knit sweater, a skirt that cut-off mid-thigh, and thigh high stockings, all black.

Slung across her chair was a black coat.

She had a choker around her neck and she wore fingerless gloves.

A chuuni brat.

Well, this was pretty much the image I conceived of her.

And now she was right there beside me.

I looked around and saw that she was attracting an audience as she did that stupid speech of hers.

To think that she'd even do this in an IRL public space!

I couldn't take the embarrassment anymore.

I stood, grabbed her shoulder, and pushed her down on her chair.

I turned around and regarded everyone.

"…S-Sorry. My friend can get a bit excitable at times."

The onlookers seemed to accept that explanation and returned their attention to their own business.

To the Megumin beside me, who I was sure would freak out at being handled in such a rough manner by a stranger, I said,

"Oi. Don't panic. It's me, it's me."

"I have a friend who advised me against the 'it's me, it's me' scam! You can't trick me so easily!"

She said this while she struggled against my grip on her shoulder.

"That friend you're talking about is me..."

"No way. He wouldn't even know what I looked like. We're online friends!"

She said that even though she was shouting 'I am Megumin' earlier.

Of course I would recognize her!

"No, just look at my screen for a second," I said.

She peered into my screen.

"!"

I felt some satisfaction as her eyes widened in surprise.

She slowly turned her head towards me.

"Y-You decided to stalk me IRL?!"

"Oi, why is that the conclusion you jump to?!"

Part 3

After finishing the last bites of the burger I bought her, Megumin finally looked up from her meal.

"T-Thank you for the meal!"

She looked at me with sincere gratitude.

"…No, it's just cheap junk food, no need to thank me."

Since I already had dinner, I gave her my burger as well.

"W-Why are you displaying so much kindness? Um…even though you are a good friend online, I don't know you all that well yet. So, if you're expecting things from me, well…"

"It's not like that, OK?! And you shouldn't view junk food like this is an act of kindness. Really, what kind of life have you led so far?"

She averted her gaze.

"Ah, sorry."

How stupid of me.

She weakly smiled. "If you're really that sorry, then please consider buying me something for dessert…"

"…"

I felt like I was just being taken advantage of.

Regardless, I still bought her a hot cocoa.

She wanted something of the frozen variety, but it was already so cold outside.

She complained at first but didn't say anything more once she took a sip of the hot cocoa.

Eagerly sipping on the hot cocoa, I took this time to examine her closely.

She was fairly cute, wasn't she?

No, in fact, she could be considered a bishoujo.

"Hey, why are you looking at me like that? Are you checking me out?"

She said this as I was totally checking her out.

"You keep calling me 'you' all this time," I said. "And I've been calling you by your screen name, 'Megumin' all this time, too. Do you want to exchange our real names?"

"Hm? What are you talking about? My name really is Megumin."

"Ah, you mean that it's a nickname or something, right? So, can I call you Megumi-san?"

"…No, it's not a nickname or anything. My name really is Megumin."

I couldn't detect a hint of deceit in her lens covered eye.

"Well, in any case, my name is Satou Kazuma. Nice to meet you."

I held out my hand.

She grinned. "I am Megumin!"

"Don't start with that again!"

Part 4

I've been meeting with this girl regularly now.

For the last three months or so, to give an approximation.

At first we met at the internet café for our usual questing with Aqua and Darkness.

And sometimes I would bring her to some junk food joint if I had enough money to spare.

However, as time went on, we began seeing each other outside of things related to that game.

For instance, one day, Megumin randomly asked me to help her study for her high school entrance exam.

"Kazuma is a NEET who wastes his potential as a youth in mind-numbing activities. But you should still be familiar with the entrance exam process."

She made her request in such a manner.

With nothing to do, and as I wanted to be out of the house until my father went to bed, I indulged Megumin in her willful request.

Despite her eccentricities, Megumin was really smart.

Actually, I'd go so far as to call her a genius.

And she was beautiful, too.

She was definitely the type that would be regarded as the school idol.

However, based from what little she told me about her personal life, it seemed that she was as much of a loner at school as I had been.

Probably because she was so chuuni.

The money that I would usually spend on my otaku hobbies would now go towards my outings with Megumin, whether it was to pay the hourly fees for the internet café, or to buy her treats.

And instead of grinding at games and watching anime all day, I've been spending much of my time tutoring Megumin, or just hanging out with her.

Slowly, my life began to revolve around this girl.

Sometimes I'd even find myself waiting outside her school, trying my hardest to maintain my composure even as a bunch of middle school girls were giving me weird looks.

The staff even approached me one day, probably to make sure I wasn't some kind of criminal.

Megumin needed to bail me out of that one.

One day, as we were studying, Megumin suddenly said this.

"Hm, Kazuma, how would you define our relationship, exactly?"

Saying such a thing as she kept her head down and flipped through a reference book.

"Asking such a thing out of nowhere…how am I supposed to respond?"

"If Kazuma hesitates in his response, then I will get suspicious?"

"…"

…A fair point.

We've known each other for quite a long time now, usually spending most of the hours of the day together.

Such an inquiry would not be amiss.

An easy question with an easy answer.

However...

I couldn't answer at all.

Apparently, Megumin took my silence as an answer in itself.

She bowed her head, her hair falling down, her unevenly cut fringe falling down over her face.

"Um…if Kazuma wants to…my family expressed their desire to meet you."

Her parents had been asking Megumin about where she was spending her time these days.

It was unusual for her not to head straight home after school, and to spend so much time away from home.

To dispel their suspicions, she mentioned the existence of a friend.

A male friend, to be exact.

Suddenly thrusting an awkward guy like me into a situation like this.

This little girl was too much, really.

However, I couldn't just leave Megumin to deal with her parents by herself.

"I understand," I said.

"Well…please don't feel like you're obligated to do this."

"Hm? Where did this meek Megumin come from? This is pretty refreshing."

"...I'll ignore your teasing for now since Kazuma is doing me a favor."

And so, with that, we made plans for me to meet Megumin's family.

Part 5

"Oh! You must me Kazuma-san! Please, come in!"

Greeting me was a woman who shared an uncanny resemblance to Megumin.

And beside her was a girl, around 4 years old or so, who looked like a miniature Megumin.

"Thanks for having me."

To this family possessing amazing genetics…

Their natural beauty would make one presume they belonged in a movie set, rather than a run-down apartment like this.

Somehow I felt compelled to give a deep bow.

"Oh my! How polite! And it seems that Kazuma-san even brought snacks!"

"Is that for Komekko?!"

Mini-Megumin rushed up and grabbed the box of sponge cakes I bought from the bakery.

Emerging from behind the madam, a somewhat rough looking man approached me.

He held his hand out and I accepted it.

"Thank you for taking care of my daughter," he said.

Saying something like 'taking care'.

I ignored the implications of what he said as I shook his hand.

The introductions were made.

Yuiyui.

Komekko.

Hyoizaburo.

And Megumin.

"…"

This family is full of weirdos.

And the weirdest of them all, still wearing her contact lenses even in her own home…

Megumin was wearing a stained and torn-up apron. She was holding a steaming pot while wearing an oven mitt full of holes.

"Dinner's ready," she said.

She looked at me and smiled.

"I'm glad you could make it, Kazuma."

"Y-Yeah…"

They led me to a kotatsu in the living room.

"Ah, I'm sorry, Kazuma-san, but the heater for that kotatsu is not working…"

The madam said this.

I looked towards the T.V.

The T.V. was fairly modern and expensive looking compared to the rest of the shabby and outdated furniture.

"Ah, I'm sorry, Kazuma-san, but the T.V. is not working. We only use that for aesthetic purposes."

All of a sudden, the foundations of the apartment seemed to shake.

"Is that an earthquake?!"

I ducked under the kotatsu.

I took Komekko with me. She had been indulging in the sponge cakes I brought.

Once the shaking subsided, the madam peeked her head under the kotatsu and said,

"Ah, I'm sorry, Kazuma-san, but this building is fairly old. It does that sometimes."

"…"

How did this atrocity of an apartment bypass the annual inspections?

I crawled out once more with Komekko in my arms. She was still focused intently on the sponge cake despite how I roughly I had pulled her with me.

"Kazuma is playing hide-and-seek with Komekko? How sweet."

Megumin said this as she placed a bowl in front of me.

"We chose to go all out for today's dinner since Kazuma is the guest."

"These are just crayfish, though," I said.

Something that could be bought for cheap at the market.

"Ooh! Are these the lobsters that nee-chan found by the river?!"

Komekko said as she stared at the crayfish while drooling."

No, these tiny things were in no way lobsters.

And forget the market, these things were fished out of the river?

I didn't want to appear rude, however, so I gave it a try after we all said our thanks.

"!"

"So, Kazuma, how is it?" Megumin asked.

"It's good! Even though this is just cheap crayfish that Megumin fished out of the river, it's good!"

"A lot of that was unnecessary, but thank you."

Contrary to my expectations, there was a pleasant atmosphere as we ate.

I answered the questions about how Megumin and I met, and what we usually did when we hung out together.

Once dinner was finished, Megumin asked her parents if she could show me her room.

"Oi…"

I began to complain to the tactless Megumin who asked such a thing from her parents.

"There's no problem," the madam said.

She gave me a wink.

"…Please be mindful that the walls are fairly thin. So we can hear you if you try something..."

The mister bluntly gave me this warning.

"R...Right…"

After receiving this warning, Megumin took me to her room.

I took a look around.

It was surprisingly plain.

There weren't any occult posters on the walls, nor were there plastic models of weapons lying around.

There was no sign of any chuuni whatsoever.

On top of her bed, however, resting peacefully, was a black cat.

"This is my cat, Chomusuke. You may pet her if you want."

Even the cat had a weird name.

I sat on Megumin's bed and picked the cat up and laid her on my lap.

I petted its back.

"Nyyaaaa~"

It purred and stretched.

"How relaxing…"

I said as I felt all my stress melt away.

"Kazuma, Kazuma, look at this."

Megumin opened a notebook and flipped to a page.

Inside, there was a drawing of a busty mage, and I recognized it as Megumin's avatar for that game.

"Ah, speaking of which, although Megumin's avatar is a tall and busty mage, she is actually like this in reality."

"…Since it's been a pleasant evening so far, I will ignore that."

She closed her notebook and placed it firmly on her study desk.

She then sat beside me.

"Oi, even if your parents are nearby, if Megumin does such things, even I will be tempted, you know?"

"How is this tempting for you? I'm just sitting beside you!"

It was tempting to a virgin like me.

It's quite inevitable.

Spending every day with a beautiful girl like Megumin.

She made her way into one of my fantasies at some point.

And I haven't had much time and money to indulge in my 'hobbies'.

So my 'private time' sessions have featured Megumin these days.

Such things were natural.

Not that I expected Megumin to know about such things.

We stayed seated like this for a while.

Megumin coughed several times before speaking.

"Um, well, this is my life…"

She raised a random topic.

Seeing my confusion, she went on to say,

"…I mean, this is practically all I have. My family, my online avatar, Chomusuke…the memories I've had in this apartment, in this room…and everything else you've seen before tonight. This is it. This is all I have."

She tilted her head while giving me an uncertain smile.

"I guess what I'm saying is that I'm not really all that complicated. I'm pretty simple! Um, this stuff…"

She pointed to her lenses.

"…It makes me feel cool, or something, I guess. There's really no evil god trapped inside my eye. I'm sorry for lying to you all this time."

She said that as if I had any reason to believe her delusions.

"I'm just a simple and poor girl. I wish there was more to my character, that I really am an Arch-Wizard who can use explosion magic... But, this is all I really am."

She smiled.

Then she shifted her position, swivelling with her bum as she faced me.

"I showed Kazuma who I am. Naturally, Kazuma should do the same."

Something I could show her…

"If Megumin were to ask me such a thing, what can I really say? I spend all day either playing games or watching anime. I guess that sums up my existence pretty neatly!"

She giggled and I sensed that she was drawing nearer.

"I think Kazuma isn't exactly telling the truth? A NEET who doesn't contribute at all to society is despicable in many ways, but a person is a person, and there's more to people than games and anime."

"No, if you spend every waking hour of the day doing certain things, those things tend to hijack not only your thoughts but your personality, as well."

She swivelled again and turned away from me.

"...That's simply not true at all, Kazuma."

She said this with her back turned to me.

"I don't pretend to know everything about you, and most of what I do know is pretty horrible. Yes, Kazuma is generally a horrible person. And yet...it's also true that there is a part of Kazuma who cares."

Another swivel, and Megumin was once again face to face with me.

"Say, Kazuma. You act like all you do is play video games and watch anime, but doesn't it feel like we spend most of the day together? And even when you do play games, you mostly play that game with me, right? I wonder why?"

She leaned closer.

Naturally, I backed away.

What is this little girl thinking?!

"What you must understand about NEET is that we don't really care about how we spend our time, as long as it doesn't require much effort on our part."

"Oh? And helping me prepare for school entrance exams doesn't require much effort?"

She drew even closer.

Too close!

"Kazuma cares a lot about me?"

Saying such an embarrassing line while keeping a straight face.

This girl was either oblivious, or she was a gold digger in the making.

I placed my hands on her shoulders in an attempt to push her off.

But…

"?!"

I underestimated how small she was.

As she was sent falling back, she reached out and grabbed my collar!

"Hey?!"

I exclaimed as I fell over at the foot of the bed on top of Megumin.

What was with this clichéd development?!

"Mwehumin...hm?!"

T-This was…?!

A soft, elastic, and warm sensation…

This really was a cliche development!

The most cliche one of them all!

I separated my lips from Megumin's.

I couldn't help but notice that a string of drool was connected between our bottom lips.

"...Please don't call the cops on me."

I didn't know what to say and said such words instead.

I expected a violent reaction from Megumin, and to have the mister bust in through the door with a weapon of some sort.

But when I looked down I saw Megumin looking up at me with teary, half-lidded eyes.

Her contacts reflected light and they shone red.

"Hah...hah...Kazuma…"

W-What?

This is…

Isn't this really erotic?!

"Oi, little girl, if you give me those eyes, I'll feel emboldened to do more, you know?"

I said such a thing while preparing to laugh it off.

"...Hah...hah…"

"?!"

Panting heavily, I could feel her hot breath.

I could smell the after dinner mint that Megumin proudly described as stolen property from a local hotel's concierge table.

Eyes closed and lips puckered.

S-She even leaned her head back!

"O-Oi! Little girl! I really will do something, you know?!"

She opened her eyes half way and said,

"It's just...there's no way I want my first kiss to end like that! That was a very poor kiss. I would like a retry, that's all."

She said that with such composure and conviction.

I couldn't help but concede to what seemed to me, at the time, as undeniably infallible logic.

Or more like…

There's no way I can resist!

"Well...I will kiss Megumin, then."

"Please do. Ah, but this time, Kazuma must lick his lips. They are quite dry."

Doing as I'm told, I licked my lips.

"The way Kazuma did that was very creepy. Please don't do it again."

"Stop mocking me! Well, then."

My lips now moistened, I looked down on Megumin.

She closed her eyes and puckered her lips once more.

My mind was a haze.

My rationality had long since been abandoned.

"Mm…"

"Nn…"

Leaning in again and closing my eyes, I kissed Megumin again.

A girl is...very soft.

And they smell so good.

More.

I want to touch her.

Not breaking away from the kiss…

I ran my fingers through her hair with one hand.

With the other I felt the sides of her waist.

"Mmmph!"

I opened my eyes to peek at the Megumin who was making so much noise.

I went too far…

But when I opened my eyes and saw her….Megumin's eyes were still closed.

Her lips still puckered, quivering now as if begging for more.

Is this really happening?

With Megumin?

I was overcome by a mixture of joy, excitement, lust, and a whole host of confusing emotions.

"Nnn…"

Making such cute noises as I kiss her.

God!

I'm so hard right now!

My thing was positioned directly on her thigh when it suddenly ballooned in size.

As I made to shift it away…

"!"

It accidentally rubbed!

It feels...so damn good!

Even though we had fours layers of clothing from making any real physical contact, it felt so damn good!

Megumin!

I'm sorry for being such a pervert!

Taking care not to make it obvious, I started shifting.

Making side-to-side movements with my hips while making sure Megumin didn't notice it.

I distracted her by maintain the kiss, rubbing my lips against hers, the slippery flesh sliding against each other.

I run my hands along her torso and waist. Touching as much as I can of the places that weren't so inappropriate.

But those movements were mere fronts for my secret humping operation.

Rubbing my hard thing against her soft and supple legs.

I could actually feel my 'head' through the cloth, rubbing and digging against her flesh.

Damn!

This is too good!

Hah…

Megumin…

Megumin…!

"Megumin…uwaaaaa! Hnnnnggg!"

"Kazu...eh…?"

Ah…

Oh no.

Shit.

The pleasure was too much and so my son responded appropriately.

...I came.

As I released myself, the head that had been diligently rubbing against Megumin's thighs managed to slip through the hem of my tracksuit pants.

"..."

As a result…

Megumin was lying there, shell shocked.

As she was covered in my cum.

Part 6

"..."

I couldn't tell what expression Megumin had on her face.

It was hard to do so.

Not that I couldn't read facial cues.

It's just that it was hard to do so with my face pressed on the ground.

"I am truly very sorry!"

"...I get it already. Raise your head."

Megumin tossed away the towel she was using to wipe herself after that little accident.

After having done so, she sat on the bed once more.

"Ugh. What have we done?"

She said this as she buried her face in her hands.

"Y-Yeah."

I looked away.

H-How did that happen, exactly?

Kissing...well...we were caught up in the moment.

But how did it escalate to the point where I came all over her?!

"I think that it would be a good idea if we just forget about this, and pretend it didn't happen."

In an attempt to inject some rationality in this confounding situation, I said this.

"No! My pride won't allow it! This moment is a part of who I am now! There's no reason why I should let it go!"

I sighed.

What a stubborn little girl.

I figured that things would get a little awkward between us from then on.

But, our personal affairs settled back into its normal state only after a few days of strained behavior.

In fact…

"Nnn…!"

With her hands roaming all over my back, Megumin and I explored each other's mouths.

Her small and soft and sweet tongue lapping against mine.

Who knew that just kissing would feel so good!

Sometimes we would find ourselves kissing.

Ordering a booth at an internet café, or in my house when my family was out, or in hers when her family was out.

We were both hormonally charged teenagers, after all.

Right now we are in my room.

"Nnh…!"

When I ran my hands along the sides of her torso, my fingers 'accidentally' slid against her breasts...

Megumin reacts to every single thing.

That's what makes it so fun to kiss her.

It never gets old!

She's so soft.

And cute and pretty.

"Nn! Kazuma… Mmm…!"

She's too damn erotic!

Megumin is best girl!

"Eh?! Kazuma?! You're doing this again?! I told you that I'm only fine with kissing, right?! You rapist!"

"D-Don't accuse me of such terrible things! This is just the natural reaction!"

I got hard again.

And as Megumin was straddling my lap and constantly fidgeting around, she had been rubbing on it all this while.

Well, is it so wrong that I neglected to tell her until after she noticed?

"Does Megumin mind allowing me to finish? Please? For guys it is very painful to hold it in."

"Geez! Just do whatever you want!"

Blushing as she shut her eyes tight, I held onto Megumin's hips as I humped her inner thigh!

"Ah...hah...Megumin...this feels insane...hah, this is too erotic! Who knew that just dry-humping would be this erotic!"

"Just shut up and finish! I'll even help you out!"

Growing impatient, Megumin pulled down my pants.

"I-I'll use my hands to…"

"Ah. I'm coming. Hnnng!"

"Eh? Ah…! No…ah?! Again?!"

I watched as streams of my cum landed on Megumin's face and hair.

I-I'm not especially a fan of facial, but seeing Megumin covered in my seed is…

"Well, I hope that with that, Kazuma has settled down...it's up again already!"

Indeed, my son is ready for more.

"T-This is my first time seeing Kazuma's…"

She stared at my son.

I think it was subconscious, but she started licking her lip.

But...

"Pfft!"

"?!"

She made such a sound?!

Was my son really that unimpressive?!

Noticing my distress, Megumin was quick to comfort me.

"Ah, no! I just had a taste of Kazuma's 'juice' when I was licking my lips! That's all!"

"Ah, I see. So Megumin is indeed impressed by my son…"

"No, well, it's normal. Nothing to complain about."

Why was this little girl talking as if she knew what was normal or not?!

I shrunk away into a corner even as Megumin attempted to comfort me.

"You seem genuinely distressed. I feel bad. Um, in order to make it up to Kazuma, then, with my hands…"

"I see. Megumin is willing to go so far for me. Thank you very much!"

"...No hesitation at all, huh?"

Megumin wiped her face with a towel before positioning herself before me.

"Well, then…"

"Yes. I'll be in your care."

"I'm having second doubts but Kazuma is making it very difficult for me to say no."

It took awhile but Megumin finally gathered the courage to touch me.

"Hah! Nn! Megumin's soft girly hands is!"

"Just shut up!"

Megumin leaned over and covered my mouth with her other hand.

"Hmm...hmph…"

Breathing raggedly against Megumin's hand as she looked at me intently and jerked me off.

Her palms were so smooth, soft, and the slight sheen of sweat provided a natural lubricant.

Megumin was starting to breath hard,too.

Her warm and sweet smelling breath washed over my face.

It was probably due to the exertion…

But, just maybe...she was getting excited while jerking me off?

Ah...this is too much.

It feels so different having a girl touch you.

Really!

This loli…

Recently I can't get her out of my mind!

I might really be...with Megumin…!

"Ngh…!"

My hips bucked.

I've never had an orgasm this intense before.

Megumin watched and flinched a little as my cum erupted up in the air.

Splattering and dripping down into her hands...

Gasping now, I drew rapid and shallow breaths as I collapsed back onto Megumin's bed.

She withdrew her hand and wiped it with the towel.

She also took the towel and wiped me dry.

However, the contact only made it…

"It's hard again?! Are you backed up, or something?!"

What did she expect?

We've been making out for a couple weeks now.

Sure, I was relieving myself alone.

But the tension never subsides.

Honestly, at this point, all I wanted to do was push her down and have sex with Megumin.

I want to feel her pussy.

I want to cum inside it.

Make her completely mine!

"..."

I was overcome by such desperate thoughts.

But, I wasn't stupid.

At this point, it's quite obvious that Megumin feels something towards me.

And...the same could be said towards me, too.

But, things like having sex and cumming inside…

Why was I, a NEET with no future prospects, so easily entertaining such things?!

"Hm? Is something on Kazuma's mind?"

Megumin said as she wiped my thing off with the towel.

She was trying to be casual about it, but the way she was grabbing me was in no way restricted to just 'cleaning'.

"...I was thinking that I should have a stable career before cumming inside Megumin…"

"What the hell?!"

Incredulous, Megumin said such a thing.

"Ah. I'm cumming. Nggh!"

"Wah! Wait! You really should give me advanced warning! Noooo!"

Part 7

"How does it look?"

"Very cute. I want to molest Megumin while she's wearing that."

"There are other words you can use aside from 'molest', you know?"

Several months had passed.

During that time, I was helping Megumin study for her entrance exam.

"Hm...I suppose then that I'd have to call Kazuma 'senpai' at school?"

"Sure seems like it."

During that time, though I struggled mightily, I forced myself to come back to school.

It took a while to develop my old study habits.

And it was awkward as hell coming back to school after I've been missing for so long.

But it was ultimately a means to an end.

"Hm...so if Megumin is showing her uniform to me at this time, that means she wants to do all sorts of fun uniform play...huh?"

"Not everything has to relate to lewd stuff, you know?"

Even though she said such tsun lines, she still sat between my legs.

"Uwaa~ the school girl Megumin is presenting herself to me..."

I reached around and started groping her boobs through the top of her navy blue sailor fuku.

Burying my nose deep into her dark hair and sniffing as I molest her.

"Kazuma really is molesting me now... Nnnh!"

I started rubbing her inner thigh as well.

Damn it.

I really want to put my dick in this cute little loli pussy.

Ah.

But at this stage doing such things is still impossible.

Once our future is more certain.

Once I can provide not only for Megumin, but also her poor family.

Then, and only then.

But, for now…

"Megumin, please do that thing with your mouth."

Her eyes widened, but she eventually sighed.

"Normally, Kazuma should reward me for passing the entrance exam, right? But Kazuma is the one being rewarded instead..."

"The hours I spent teaching you is reward enough. Now, this time I'd like to take a picture of the schoolgirl Megumin right at the moment I unload on her pretty face. Oh, and make sure to flash up the 'double v' sign!"

"Damn it! You're especially creepy today!"

Megumin reached inside my tracksuit bottoms and pulled my son out.

"Nee-chan... congratulations on...wait, nii-chan is feeding nee-chan a sausage?"

Suddenly bursting through the door was Komekko.

"Ah! No fair! Komekko is hungry, too!"

"Wait! Komekko, don't!"

"Ah. I'm coming. Nggh!"

"Eh?! What's this white stuff, nii-chan?!"

An eventful IRL life.

Spending everyday making out with a beautiful girl.

"Kazuma…"

This beautiful girl now looked as if she wanted to murder me.

"..."

Can I go back to my peaceful NEET life, now?

…

…

A/N: This story was originally written as a Christmas gift for LordVTP who writes an amazing konosuba spinoff fic along with Uranophane. They both did TL work for the konosuba LN fan translations, as well as other various projects. The fic is called 'Archaic Records of a Bastard Goddess!'. The fic tells the story of Princess Iris going on an adventure with her own party, which includes a grown up Komekko. Lord is a great writer and helps me out a lot with my own fic, and Uranophane has a flawless grasp of the LN's original style. They make a great team! If you're interested, check out their stuff!

-BB