A/N: Hello and welcome to the fic that never ends! I started writing this shortly after Deathly Hallows was published in 2007. It is, to date, the longest thing I have ever written. Because I've been working on it so long it's sort of an interesting timeline of my writing style and growth. After fiddling with it forever and ever I've decided it's time for it to see the light of day. What follows is the beginning of Ron and Hermione's after. This chapter takes place immediately after the Battle of Hogwarts and the final chapter (hopefully, it's still not done!) will take place right before 17 years later. It's been a labor of love and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!

Ron Weasley stared at the fire in the Gryffindor common room. They'd gathered the dead, laid them in the Great Hall and then…no one had quite seemed to know what to do after that. His brothers had seen his parents and George home, but Harry had made it clear he wanted to stay at school and Ron wasn't going to leave him. So he and Hermione and Ginny had trailed him to the tower. Harry and Ginny had disappeared soon after that and then Hermione had gone to clean up a bit. He should probably be doing the same. Or sleeping, or something. He honestly didn't know what to do.

So here he sat, stiff as a board, trying to feel anything besides the black emptiness that was spreading through him.

It was over. They had won. He should be happy. Instead he felt numb.

"Ron?"

Hermione's gentle voice stirred him from his torpor. She had showered, her hair was still damp, and she'd changed into a worn pair of pyjamas. Something in his heart flickered as if it was trying to come back to life, but it wasn't enough to overcome the darkness within him.

"Hey," was all he could manage.

"Are you all right?" Her hands were twisting around themselves in the way they did when she was anxious.

He didn't know what to say. They'd never talked about what came after. What did you do when the world had ended but your heart was still beating?

Words began to slip from his lips unbidden. "How many times did we escape death Hermione? How many times did we come so close only to avoid it at the last second?"

"I don't know," she said quietly.

"Me neither. It's been a lot though."

"Yes."

"But we always got away. Just good luck I guess."

"I guess so."

"Why couldn't he have lived when we did so many times?" She always had the answers. Surely she could tell him why his brother was lying dead in the Great Hall with forty-nine of their friends.

Tears filled her eyes. "I don't know Ron."

His gut twisted and he shook his head helplessly. "What am I going to do? My family is heartbroken. George will never be the same. How am I supposed to feel?"

Desperation began to build inside him. How were they supposed to go on?

Hermione's voice trembled as she spoke. "I think we're just going to have to take it one day at a time."

"One day at a time," he said hollowly. "We've been taking it one day at a time for a year. It was all supposed to be for something. We were supposed to fix all of this and I think we just broke it more."

"We didn't," she said. "V-Voldemort's gone Ron. We did that."

"Yeah well, Fred's gone too!" he snapped. "And it doesn't feel worth it. It doesn't feel like anything but shit because he's never coming back. We killed him."

"No," Hermione was shaking her head. "It's not our fault."

"Then why does it feel like it is? Why does it feel like I killed my brother?"

The words came out on a whisper and part of him that had been so numb suddenly split open, a gaping wound that hurt worse than anything he could have imagined. He put his face in his hands and began to sob.

He felt her arms go around him and he tried to push her away because he was imploding and didn't want her to go down with him. But she grabbed onto him, holding on tight as grief clawed at his throat. "It hurts too much," he said with a gasp. "I didn't know it could all feel this bad."

"I'm sorry," she choked out, her own tears falling thickly.

He scrubbed a hand across his swollen eyes. "It's just all so broken."

"I know. I know it is." She tucked her head into his shoulder, and he found his tears flowing afresh. His whole body ached and it felt like he was drowning.

He didn't resist when she entwined her hand with his and nuzzled in even closer. The tears finally stopped, leaving behind exhaustion. He felt her pull a blanket over the two of them as his eyes closed, sleep finally demanding he give into its embrace.

He could feel her breathing slowing and knew she was falling asleep as well. He was grateful she was here to share his pain and confusion, grateful that through it all she'd never left his side. The flicker he'd felt before sparked again and in the hazy place between awake and dreaming his brain whispered what it was: a small drop of hope.

A/N: Leave your love in the reviews!