Disclaimer: The characters and setting belong to Rainbow Rowell.

A/N: Welcome to yet another autobiographical fic by yours truly! I'm trying to savor my last semester of college, but having just been broken up with is throwing a wrench in that, so I decided to write Baz's last term.

The stars were beautiful at Watford, I observed as I trekked back through the Wavering Wood to the school grounds after a late-night feeding trip. The drawbridge was probably pulled hours ago, but I could just Float like a butterfly over the moat and the wall. I wasn't worried about getting back to my dormitory. Now that Snow was gone, I didn't even have to sneak back into my room. Everything was so easy without him around.

And yet.

Yes, the stars were beautiful here. And I tried to enjoy them, really. I knew that I was leaving soon, probably forever. Sure, I'd return for Mordelia's end-of-year ceremonies if they didn't conflict with my own course schedule, and after Mordelia was done there would still be the rest of my siblings, but I would most likely never live here again. I knew, intellectually, that I would miss it. I'd miss the football pitch and the stars and the Wavering Wood, and I'd miss Cook Pritchett and Madame Possibelf and the Minotaur. I knew I should savor these last few months while they lasted.

And yet.

I didn't feel like I was in any condition to savor anything without Snow by my side. Even as acutely aware as I had been of my love for him, I had underestimated just how blank I would feel without him around. I was a moth without a flame, not just for a day or two as I had often been when he went off on his quests, but for a whole term. It hurt, far more than I had imagined it would, and everything reminded me of him. The stars shone as brightly as his eyes. The bathroom seemed empty without his shampoo and soap. The curtains made me miss the way he forced sunlight on me in the morning. There was a Snow-Bunce-and-Wellbelove-shaped hole in the seating arrangements in the dining hall. Classes were too quiet without Snow's hemming and hawing (and Bunce's frequent contributions). Everything felt off.

I knew I needed to savor these last few months. But I couldn't.