Okay, so some readers asked me to put the 10 connected one-shots into one story, so here you go! You guys have no idea how hard it was to come up with a summary and title that fits with everything. In fact, help with the title would be great.

For any new readers, hi! Welcome to a Kai-centric AU. The writing style varies for each chapter (sorry about that), which goes from something like this to an actual in-the-moment type of thing (like in no. 10, Resist).

Anyway, have fun. Your questions may be answered as you move through each chapter, but if you still have questions by the end or 'Resist', then please PM me. Or check my profile; I plan to have come of the more confusing stuff answered on there.

Anyways, have fun with the first (and one of the best) chapter of this book!

Chapter Summary:

Kai remembers more than he should - more than anyone should - and it finally starts to take its toll on him.

And when the portal closes with his Sensei still inside, Kai snaps.

/ /

The AU where Kai is stuck in a Time Loop every time a new adventure starts, and finally breaks under the pressure.

(Season 1-7 spoilers (Time Twins))

Remember

No one knows Kai remembers.

Jay and Nya don't know he remembers Nadakhan. In fact, while they think they are the only ones who remember, he remembers more. Much more. He remembers dying. He remembers thinking he had to save his team. But, on his last attempt, number 36, something changed.

To finally make it all end, he had to let go. Trust that Jay could beat Nadakhan.

And Jay did it.

But it didn't stop Nya's death from flashing behind his eyeballs.

Lloyd doesn't know his nightmares are alternate timelines. It's better that way, though. If Lloyd knew that the Overlord had succeeded more than once – killed them more than once (47 times, if he looked at his arm) – he would be horrified. That, and question why Kai wasn't corrupted like the others.

Yet, even now, years later, he still ends up rushing to Lloyd when the nightmares strike.

And Kai knows that he sees other alternate timelines, too. By the way the Green Ninja looks at him sometimes, he knows he's starting to get the same discoveries in different timelines (and more as he continues on his adventures).

He knows it's only a matter of time before he asks him, because if all his dreams point to one thing, it's that his best friend may know much more than he's letting on.

No one knows how much he remembers.

They don't know about the burns. It's one of the reasons why he doesn't go shirtless unless changing clothes. Ever. Kai never goes swimming, either, and he has the perfect excuse for it (even though they'd never remember teaching him).

The numerals covering his body aren't what they seem. They weren't accidents.

They were the number of times he'd been fighting to save his friends.

And failed.

36. It was burnt into the left side of his chest, and he knew what that signified. He'd finally succeeded in defeating Nadakhan – with his friends help, of course – on that thirty-sixth try.

And the same went for all the other burns. 28. 43. 51.

They all showed how much he'd failed.

And he hated it.

He'd failed when Zane died. He'd tried so hard to prevent it, but his friend had defeated the Overlord and saved Ninjago (and if Lloyd ever got a dreadful nightmare where Kai was the one who blew up in a wave of fire instead of Zane, he didn't tell him).

That's what lead him away from the monastery.

He couldn't take it. The fact that the burn – 35 – had turned dark instead of the usual glow had made his blood go cold and, as soon as he was outside, far away from his friends, he'd screamed.

He'd left soon after the memorial. His sickness turned into grief which turned into rage, because, even after everything he'd been through, it was still the only emotion he was comfortable with.

Kai's legs lead him to the Slither Pit, and his fists did the rest.

It's unexpected when he doesn't find peace when he finds out Zane is alive. In fact, his stomach had churned, his eyesight had gone fuzzy and his head had screamed 'trap, trap, trap'.

It was, of course.

The Tournament of Elements was different. Harder than most of the trails he'd come to face.

Because Chen remembered, just like he did, and learning that whenever Kai died the timeline would reset was a bother.

And the way Skylor's father acted around him made her more suspicious than anyone, and would later make their fleeting relationship burst into flames (because Skylor couldn't trust someone who couldn't trust her, and he understood, no matter how disappointed he was).

The number 68 was what would become the second highest failures he'd ever come to endure.

When Lloyd's possession came about, months after Chen's defeat, Morro realised, after attempt three, that he couldn't die.

He ended up catching Kai every chance he got, and even though they had eventually succeeded in defeating him on round 27, the damage had been done.

Morro had told Lloyd the truth right in Kai's face, but that had been a time when the Green Ninja wouldn't ever believe that.

Now, he knew Lloyd was starting to question it.

They fought Nadakhan almost a month later, and won, thanks to Jay's quick thinking.

But it was hard keeping his knowledge away from the rest of the team. Especially when the nightmares struck harder than ever before (because Nya's lifeless eyes in Jay's arms still haunted him, and he knew his friends had wondered what had been wrong. He had also noticed Nya and Jay glancing at him from time to time, and he remembers wondering if he'd been talking in his sleep).

The Day of the Departed had been quick. He'd never forgotten Cole, yet he couldn't ever know that. He'd had to replay if twice before he got it right.

The number 3 was his best, and it stayed right on the small of his back.

And then...Time itself.

It had been a year of peace before they'd been thrust back into the action, with Acronix thirsting for revenge on Wu for keeping him lost in time for forty years.

It was there when Kai realised time hurt.

The Pause blade didn't affect him, with his relationship to time, but it affected him just as terribly as the others.

All his numeric markings would glow, and they would cause him the most excruciating pain he'd ever felt – something that still hadn't been matched.

It had made Wu's eyes go wide, along with Acronix's, and he'd heard a whispered, "Time's Champion..." before he'd blacked out.

It doesn't help that, even after finding his parents with Nya, that he'd failed to save their past selves that one time.

Nor did it help that Acronix and Krux had tried to catch and observe him after they'd found out he was 'Time's Champion'.

It was on number 54 when tragedy struck.

After Nya had fallen, Wu had told Kai to let go. He'd told him that he could count on him to figure out what to do. How being Time's Champion would never be an easy task, even for him.

And, once the Fire Ninja had tears in his eyes, he'd told Kai he'd see him again.

Then he'd let him go, and Kai went down screaming at his mentor to "let go" and, "jump, Sensei" and the stereotypical, "no".

But he didn't.

And he'd watched as the portal closed with his sensei still inside.

It didn't matter that, as Techno Wu, he'd hurt him enough to make him avoid his teacher for weeks. It didn't matter that he'd yelled at Wu. All that mattered then was that his father-figure had disappeared, and he was likely never coming back.

When Kai hit the ground somewhere in the middle of a rainforest, he vanished.

He hadn't even said goodbye to his friends. He hadn't even told his family he was leaving. He hadn't even called them to say he was alive.

He'd snapped, because he'd seen too much. He remembered too much. He'd done so much for his family, for all of Ninjago, and even then, neither knew how long he'd actually been fighting for.

They all remembered one fight, where good always triumphed over evil.

But Kai remembered all the ones that failed. The victories were hidden under a layer of dust, and he couldn't take that.

He'd cracked. Just like that. Snapped in two after the man who introduced him to his family was taken away from him, likely never to be seen of heard from again.

Kai had left.

And he still hasn't returned.