A/N: Warning: this is a long chapter.

Chapter 11. Day 9. 09.30

I spend the whole morning to clean the house and do the laundry. I consider myself lucky since Rika left many cleaning tools inside this house. As I put the last laundry on the washing machine, I walk into the bathroom, bringing the cleaning tools and clean clothes with me.

I cannot not turn to the mirror and take a look at my eyes, happily noticing that the swelling is gone. With a hairclip, I clip my hair up so it will not bother my work. My mind keeps going back to what happen last night. At how he yells at me. At his distorted concern regarding my safety. At how he keeps pushing me away while not wanting me too far away from him.

At how finally I woke up to his typing sound again.

I shrug off the feeling as I continue scrubbing the bathroom wall, then continue with the floor. For an apartment that has been left behind for a long time, this apartment is in its prime condition, even when I first came here. Now that I think about it, somebody must be coming here over and over to… clean up?

Now that's a little weird.

V said himself that he doesn't know the number combination to open the door.

So, it must be Saeran. He must have come here several times then.

I mean, he's the one who told me the number combination, right?

My hand stops for a while. I cannot help but think that Saeran has been watching me from the very start, ever since I took the phone. I shudder at the fact and feel relieved that Seven is here with me. I spray the wall and floor with water as I continue pondering over the fragments of truth I've come across so far. Saeran was the one who led me here. How did he find me?

Oh, right. I was littering around the station at midnight after I missed the last train home.

But, why did he choose me?

Was it because I looked so desperate and lost? But still, it could be anyone. Did Saeran choose me randomly? Or is it intentional?

I shiver at the possibility that Saeran has been following me before I came to this city. But I can go anywhere in the country after everything that happened to me. The possibility of me coming here is so slim. No one led me here, that is I am sure of.

But, why do I have this uneasy hunch that someone actually led me here?

I sigh heavily. Let me think about this slowly.

After spraying the last part of cleaned floor, I smile to myself, "Perfect!" I say to no one in particular. Then I start the shower, strip off my clothes and jump into the relaxing hot water.

When I exit the bathroom several minutes later, the subtle typing voice still echoes in the apartment. Dressed in clean blue shirt and black skirt, I walk to the bedroom while drying my hair. The redhead is still on the corner of the room with his headphone on, just like when I first notice him when I woke up.

Sitting on the bed, I rub the towel onto my hair, while drilling holes on Seven's head. Then I notice him stop typing. He takes his phone and fiddle with it for some time. He turns his head a bit, and I can see that he notices me, but then he turns to the wall again. Not that I'm surprised.

Suddenly, a chime comes from the phone. I notice Seven has entered the chatroom once I pick the phone up. I take a glance at the redhead, finding him lowering his headphone. Without further hesitation, I hit the chatroom.

And this time, he greets me properly. I smile a bit then shake whatever feeling that resurfaces within me. Though, it sure feels weird that we're both here in the same room and he tries his best to pretend that I'm not here.

Yoosung comes into the chatroom and I cannot help but looking at Seven very closely as he stares at his phone, reading message by message popping up in the chatroom. As Yoosung's concern grows heavier, I cannot help but feel that something bad is going to happen.

Seven, no matter what, please do not hurt Yoosung, I chant silently.

'I said I don't need your help,' Seven types. Even if it is just a written text, I can feel his emotion is starting to go out of control. Carefully, I try to lower Yoosung's excitement when he says he wants to come to the apartment. However, my worries get stronger as the two continue debating.

And I was right. Seven finally states that he plans to leave RFA.

I would drop my phone if only he never indicated that about this plan all along. I just feel my grip on the phone gets significantly tighter, as I bore more holes on the redhead's head. There's a part of me that still wants to believe that he wasn't serious. But by saying all these to Yoosung… saying that having friends is just temporary, I guess he's serious.

As he continues pushing Yoosung away with his harsh words, something starts bubbling up inside me. I find that it is very similar to anger, so I carefully clear it away before it swallows me whole. I am not surprised that he pushes me away even in the chatroom, but to do the same thing to Yoosung… disregarding anything they have gone through together, is just… unbelievable.

Is Yoosung that unimportant for him?

This has gone too far.

The redhead half-throws his phone to the floor as he leaves the chatroom, leaving me trying but fail to console Yoosung. As Yoosung leaves the chatroom, I stare at Seven's back, then speak up.

"Seven," I keep my tone steady, "I think… you should not push Yoosung away," I pause a bit, "He's just worried about you,"

"You think I don't know?" he replies without even turning around to face me.

"Then why did you say that?" I lower my tone.

"I don't need his help. Not to mention that a good boy like him shouldn't be involved with someone like me,"

My eyes turn wider at his answer. He pushes Yoosung away because Yoosung is important to him. Something in my chest constricts painfully when this realization comes. I can vow that their friendship is not fake, and imagining that they have to part ways pains me.

"You like Yoosung so much, don't you? As a friend, as a fellow RFA member, as someone you can prank easily—" I laugh bitterly, "—Yoosung told me so much about you, and I can say that he likes you as much as you do,"

I expect him to retort, but he says nothing more, so I decide to continue, "I can understand it if you want to push away no one in particular like me, but to push Yoosung away, aren't you lying too much to yourself, Seven?"

"I never said you're no one in particular," his tone is low and intriguing.

I close my eyes for a while, trying my best to calm down the sudden burst of emotion that sweeps over me by hearing that. I should have been used to his on and off concern about me by now, but each little piece of concern he gives me pulls up my hope like it's never been crushed before.

Biting my lower lips, I struggle to keep my mind clear, and stop myself from running to him. Because it's all I want to do now. To hold him as close to me as I can, to make him understand that I am never letting him go. If Yoosung was here, he would certainly do the very same thing.

Why can't this redhead understand that we love him? Why can't he understand how precious he is to us? Why can't he believe that we want him to be with us always?

Silence hangs thickly between us and neither of us dare to break it away.

"Cheer up meow!" suddenly, a familiar high-pitched voice cracks the silence. We both turn to the once-deactivated robotic cat. It is automatically on again, and now is moving to Seven's direction, "Cheer up meow! You're with the person you like, meow!"

A person he likes? I know I should feel happy, but strangely I feel my heart broken at Meowy's remark. If Seven pushes me away to protect me because he likes me then—

"Why is this on again," he retorts in annoyance.

"I am automatically switched on when I sense depression, meow! You're with the person you like, meow!" then the robotic cat starts moving around its creator while saying 'you like, meow! You like, meow!' over and over.

I promised myself not to cry again. But a single tear comes down my cheek. I harshly wipe it away without breaking my gaze from his form.

He yells frustratedly, "Damn it, shut up!" he turns around and slams his fist to the robot, breaks it up to several parts.

I jolt at the cracking sound and run to him, "You broke it! Is your hand alright?!"

He stares at the broken robot, his expression is a mix of frustration, sadness and exhaustion. Even with his glasses on, I can see that his eyes are glistening, like he may cry anytime.

"…why did you do it? Can we fix it…?" I say as slow and careful as I walk to him. Something inside me tells me that he is just next to shattering.

He closes his eyes, "I'll throw it away later. It's useless," his voice is flat and leveled, but I can hear a very slight little tremble inside it, "And I'll be leaving soon, so just forget about me," with that he stands up and walk to the direction of the door.

I stand up and turn to him, both my mind and my heart are starting to have hard time to accept the fact of him keeping up with his continuous uncaring façade, "Why are you protecting me if you're going to leave soon? You can just leave right now!"

He stops on his track, his back is still facing me, "How are you going to stay safe on your own?! Are you even thinking right now? It's all my fault that you're in this situation…" his voice trails off at the end of his sentence. Turning around, he immediately meets my eyes, "Don't think about me, just think about protecting yourself!"

"Then…" I look into his golden orbs intensely, "If I keep being in danger, will you stay with me?"

He is visibly shocked by my words, "Why the hell did you say that?! Why do you want to be in danger?!"

I keep my gaze on him, determined not letting his words falters me.

"Your whole life will be about being nervous that someone will notice you! Is that the kind of life you stupidly want?!" he yells exasperatedly.

Is that how you've been living your life, Seven? I silently ask to no one in particular.

He exhales harshly, "You're so similar with Yoosung. You don't have a care in the world regardless of what's going on!"

Well, I care about the world! I shake my head in disapproval, "It's not that I don't care, I just want to be with you, because I like you!" I counter him defiantly.

Wait.

Did I just… confess my feeling? I mentally choke myself.

I eye him nervously, unconsciously bracing myself when he gives me a look of total disbelief.

"How many times do I have to repeat myself?! I can't be with you, MC! We can't be anything together!" he puts his hand on his forehead, clearly drown in frustration, "Everything that surrounds me is an illusion that exists in a temporary life of an agent named 707. They'll all soon fade away. My house, my cars, RFA, you, this place, everything… one day they will all disappear like the morning fog," his words break my heart almost completely. I painfully watch him being stripped away from any lingering trace of masks he used to wear to face the world. Now he is standing before me as someone who cannot even love himself enough to love someone else.

"A real life, real things… don't ever think and hope those things can exist for me…" he states bitterly.

I resist the almost unstoppable drive to close our distance, despite every ounce of my fiber screams to do so. He is unconsciously baring his heart naked in front of me, in his effort to stop my growing feelings for him. Somehow, it hurts me more than hearing him spout harsh words to me for the last two days.

"Yoosung, MC, all the members of RFA… even if you say that you like me… my life…" he trails off again, "…my life can't embrace anything,"

"Luciel…" I whisper his name, unable to form longer sentence.

"You don't know how it feels to live that kind of life," he stares blankly at his hand, then closes his eyes tightly. When he opens his eyes, he looks at me straight in the eyes, "Don't be nice to me when you don't know anything! Please… get away from me! Just… leave me alone…"

"But—"

"THE PERSON YOU LIKE IS THE 707 IN THE CHATROOM, NOT ME!" he yells loudly and I find myself jolt in surprise. He abruptly turns around to leave, and my eyes turn wider. Right at that very moment, when I see his back, I see an image from my past showing my father entering the airport for the very last time, and I get a very bad hunch that if I let him go now, I won't see him ever again. The hunch is so strong that it suddenly blurs my mind almost completely.

Without even thinking further, I let go of my restrain in less than a millisecond.

I run to him, slam my body onto his back and hold him tight. I won't be able to live it if I let him go now. I cannot bear not to see him again. I feel him tense up immediately when he recognizes what I'm doing. I yell onto his back, "Then please let me understand the person in front of me!"

He trembles, but makes no movement to release himself from my grip. "MC…" he whispers my name so slowly, but I can hear it perfectly as I practically bury my face on his back. "Why are you doing this to me…?" sadness and confusion fills his voice.

I answer by tightening my grip in him, conveying everything I want to say through it.

"I told you. Even if you say that… I can't embrace anything," his voice falters, his tone is cracked up, sadness thick in his words. I keep my silence as he continues, "My life was wrong from the beginning. It's a life that's dangerous and filled with lies… I couldn't even protect my one and only brother… and I have to abandon the person I like… My life is good for nothing. I don't want to involve you in that kind of life…" his voice gets lower and lower. There is no trace of harshness he showed me earlier. Just sadness. Emptiness.

I shake my head, burying my head further onto his back.

"Why…" his voice trembles, "Why can't you understand me?"

"I like the Seven that is in front of my eyes. Regardless of how complicated your life is, I want to know," I tell him honestly. My voice also trembles a bit. Even without touching my cheek, I know trails of tears has come down.

"MC… don't do this, please…" he pleas weakly. His voice sounds so vulnerable. "I… I…" he inhales sharply, "I cherish you… I want to make you happy… but I can't…"

I bit my lower lip to swallow back a sob. My hold gets tighter, if it's even possible.

"Why do you want to be with me even when I'm a dangerous person? Why do you like me?!" he asks desperately. The trembles on his body becomes more visible.

"There is no reason. I just like you. That's how I feel," I mumble to his back.

I can hear him laughing, albeit bitterly, "…you're impossible, MC. You're so strange. I feel like I'm going strange too," he pauses for a while, "Why aren't you giving up? Why aren't you getting hurt and abandoning me…? What are you going to do if something happens to you because of me?!"

I close my eyes, "I'm okay with that. I don't regret my feelings towards you, Seven…"

I feel him relaxed a bit. Silence envelops us as the world seemingly spins around and leaves us behind, like our time just stops at the moment. It is so silent that the only voices I hear are the faint noise of his laptop's machine, the faraway speeches between people… and his frantic heartbeat.

No one of us makes any movement for God knows how long. I start to worry that he is just waiting for the right moment to escape my grip, when his hand grabs mine slowly. So slowly, as if I'm going to shatter into nothingness if he makes sudden movement.

"I don't know anymore…" he whispers as he gently loosens my grip on him. Then he turns around to face me. I quickly wipe the apparent watery trails that adorn my face. When I look up to him, his expression is indescribable. He exhales slowly, "Do what you want," his voice is just a little bit louder than a whisper, "No matter how much I push you away, I can't do anything about your feelings,"

I turn my gaze away from him.

"Nothing good will happen by being close to me. It'll be too late to regret it later,"

"I just…" I turn to face him again, looking into his golden orbs determinedly, "…I just want to focus on how I feel right now, my feelings towards you," my tone is softened by itself, and I smile a little.

To my surprise, apparent blush creeps up to his cheek. I blink in awe.

"… you shouldn't say that so easily," he remarks as the blush on his cheek gets deeper. "Damn… why are you saying that?! Why are you putting me in trouble…?" despite the confusion he brings up with the sentence, his voice is still only a little bit louder than a whisper. "I told myself I would never want to be close to someone… but you're making me feel complicated…"

Suddenly, I become self-conscious of the fact that I have just made a complete confession to someone.

He shakes his head in clear nervousness, "I can't believe that you're getting to me…"

I let out a nervous chuckle. Now my heart is hammering like crazy. Wait, heart, why now?

"God… what am I supposed to do now?" he half-whines as he buries his face to his palm.

I bit my lower lip, then takes a long breath, "First…" at this point he moves his palm and looks at me, almost like he is waiting for me to tell him what to do. Even when his gaze is a little bit unfocused like now, I cannot help but feeling self-conscious. But someone has to decide, I say to myself. So, I gather my courage to meet his gaze.

And become surprised when his gaze falters away from me.

Well, at least, I'm not the only one feeling self-conscious then.

The understanding weirdly gives me a sense of calmness, so I start again, "First… how about… you take some time and think about accepting me…?"

His eyes find mine for a little while before he closes them, as if contemplating with my suggestion. Suddenly I realize that by having confessed my true feelings to him, I don't know whether I can live it if he rejects me again. I look at him expectantly.

After a while, he opens his eyes, straightly looking at me, "Alright. I need time…"

I let out a breath I don't know I was holding, then smiles at him understandingly, "Then… I'll wait,"

"… Thank you,"

I nod.

Then…

…the awkwardness begins.

We stand there in front of each other. We're both have known that we're precious to each other. He said he cherishes me, right?

And I have practically said that I… love him.

Then what? What to do now?

Basically, a thousand options come into my mind and I virtually try to jot them down to find the most realistic option. I can't believe this kind of awkwardness follows the heartpouring! I mentally slap myself in exasperation.

Well, I'll just tell him I need to go to the other room, wherever it is.

"Then—" "Then—"

We instantly look at each other as we speak the same word at the same time. To make it weirder, we both look away also at the same time.

"I'll watch TV," "I'll take a shower,"

Four eyes turn wider. It's almost funny.

"Alright," "Okay,"

It's not just almost funny. It is funny. And with our red faces. It is too hilarious. If the situation is not this awkward, I believe we will be practically rolling on the floor, laughing so hard.

He lets out a small awkward chuckle and I cannot help but smile. I clear my throat, "I'll see you later then,"

With his nod, I exit the bedroom, he follows several steps behind me, then we part ways on the hall. When I reach the living room, he has entered the bathroom. So, I turn on the television… and bury my face to the cushion.