"You're what?"

"I'm kinda…married."

"There's no such thing as, kinda married, Garcia! Either you're married or you're not!"

"Well…"

Penelope searched her head for the words while watching the confusion dancing in her best friend's eyes. No way on Earth would JJ understand her little problem…she didn't quite understand her problem.

"Penelope, unless your next words are that you and Derek eloped…"

"It's Sam. I married Sam."

Giorgio's Designer Suits –

"Hey, Pretty Boy how about this?"

Derek jumped from behind a suit rack wearing a bright purple top hat and a smile from ear-to-ear. With a matching purple suit in hand he begins to waddle around like a poor imitation of the Joker.

"What do you think, huh? Perfect, right?"

"Unless you're planning to invite the Riddler and the rest of Gotham City's criminal element, NO! Besides, Garcia will kill you if you show up wearing something that ridiculous!"

"But it's purple, her favorite color!" He teased.

"Exactly, her favorite color, not yours! Again, NO!"

Pretending to be hurt, Derek returned the hat and suit to their rightful places under the watchful eyes of an amused sales clerk.

"I was just kidding, kid. I'd never be caught dead in anything but a black tux…not on my wedding day anyway."

Reid smiled and shook his head at his friend. He'd never seen Morgan so animated and happy it looked good on the man who'd been his big brother for the last thirteen years.

"I like you like this."

Morgan looked puzzled at his younger friend.

"Like what?"

"Happy. You're happy. I'm glad that you're finally happy."

"Thanks Pretty Boy. Yeah, I guess I am happy. I can't remember ever feeling this way."

"Yeah, well, you deserve it, both of you do."

BAU Headquarters –

"WHAT? I'm sorry I thought I just heard you say that you are married to Sam."

"Yes. You heard correctly. Sam and I are married."

"And you thought that now, a week before your wedding to Derek…Derek Morgan…that you'd mention the fact that you indeed can't marry Derek because, YOU'RE ALREADY MARRIED?"

"JJ.."

"Penelope Garcia, have you lost your mind?"

"JJ, I don't know what to do! I don't know how it happened, I can't explain…"

"What do you mean, you don't know how it happened. It seems simple people get married every day. When did this happen?"

"I don't know, that's just it. I don't remember marrying Sam!"

"Then how do you know that you two are married?"

Penelope turned and grabbed a paper from her desk and with a shaky hand gave it to JJ.

"OMG, Garcie…this is a marriage certificate!"

The two blondes met each other, stare for stare as Penelope shook her head affirmatively.

Blair Pharmaceuticals –

Sam felt quite proud of himself. He'd done what no one had managed to do. He'd gotten the elusive Penelope Garcia down the aisle and married to him. It didn't matter that she was hopelessly in love with another man, she belonged to him now and he had plans…oh boy did he have plans for the curvy beauty. He knew he'd have to break her and her chocolate hunk, but it didn't matter. He'd won, finally and he'd make them both pay for the rest of their lives.

Sam pulled a paper from his desk drawer it was just like the one that Penelope had just handed JJ. There was so much left to do before their lives could officially begin. First things first, he needed to get his wife moved in to his apartment…and into his bed.

He had to admit that his plan had been brilliant. He'd managed to convince his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend to go out with him just one last time, for old time's sake. Being the ever-accommodating person that she was, Penelope had agreed to join him for his family's yearly New Year's dinner at the Colter family retreat.

Sam surprised the clueless woman with not only a marriage proposal but with a wedding that was witnessed by the entire Colter family including Sam's grandparents who'd flown in from Memphis just for the nuptials. There was only one thing, everyone would remember the blessed event; everyone except the bride, that is.

"Wow what a nice picture!'

Sam had been so deep in thought that he didn't hear his co-worker, Stan Hawthorne enter his office. He made a mental note to keep his door locked in the future.

"Oh, uh yes, yes…thanks!"

Stan stepped closer grabbing the framed picture from the desk.

"Is this the hottie that you brought to the Employee picnic last summer?"

"That's Penelope."

"This is a wedding picture! You didn't tell me you got married."

"Well, we sort of wanted to keep it low key."

"But, I thought you told me that you two broke up? Left you for some other dude?"

"Yeah, that's right." Sam stood snatching the picture from Stan's hand and returning it to it's spot. "We're back together."

"Really?'

Sam saw the disbelief but brushed it off.

"Yes, really!"

"Wow, you work fast, my man. I'm impressed!"

"Whatever, did you want something, Stan?"

"Dr. Evans is looking for some samples that are missing from his lab."

"What's that got to do with me?"

"He says you were the last one in his office and thought you may have seen them."

"No but if he'd do a better job of keeping his lab locked up, then he wouldn't be sending you all around the building looking for, missing samples."

"I guess. It's just that he's been under the gun ever since that Scopolamine went missing around Christmas."

"Sorry, can't help you."

"Well okay, thanks anyway."

Stan headed toward the door before turning back to face Sam who already seemed lost in the photo on his desk.

"Say, maybe you and the misses can join me and Sharon for dinner one night?

Without looking up Sam replied.

"Yeah sure, sounds like a plan. I'll mention it to Penelope."

BAU Headquarters –

"What am I going to do? Derek will never forgive me! I'll lose him, I'll lose everything."

"You've go to tell him! Now!"

"How? How do I tell the man that I'm supposed to marry in a week that I'm already married?"

"I don't know but you need to tell him and now, Garcia! Right now, he and Spence are picking out tuxedos."

The conversation was suddenly interrupted by Garcia's phone. Staring wide-eyed at the display then back at JJ, she mouthed, 'Sam.'

"Hello?"

"Good afternoon, my gorgeous wife! How are you?"

"Sam, I'm busy can we talk later? Please?"

"Of course, of course. I'm about to go into a meeting myself. I just wanted to let you know that I made reservations at Jakes tonight."

"Gee, I'm not sure if I'm free, we may get a case, or something. Can we play it by ear?"

"Oh, well, I can always bring dinner by there and we can eat in your office. I don't mind just as long as we're together. I don't want to spend another night without you, Penelope. I'm sure you'll agree that I've been more than the patient loving husband. You've had plenty of time to come to your senses."

"But…"

"So, shall I stop over around five?"

"No, no…I-I can meet you at Jakes. Please don't come here!"

"I'll see you then, Mrs. Colter."