I hope everyone is holding up during this quarantine! I'm getting so much writing done since my work shut down on Tuesday. School starts back on Monday I hope the whole on-line thing goes well. Anyway, I hope you guys are staying safe!

19

Here Comes Your Man

I wondered if it was strange to be fearful of my own sister. Although I knew Edward had nothing to worry about, anxiety bloomed in my chest. My fingers shook as I worked on buttoning my flannel. After trying to work one button into the small slit in the fabric for a few moments and failing, a nervous laugh escaped my lips, and I dropped my hands. It's going to be fine, Isabella. What are you so worried about? Alice would love Edward. She would love any man I had feelings for. My eyes rose to gaze at my reflection in the mirror in front of me. The blotchy girl staring back at me inspired another nervous laugh to escape.

My nerves were blatant. Redness appeared on my neck and chest in spots; the blotchy blush covering my pale skin caused me to become even more agitated. I can't see Alice looking like this. I'd never hear the end of it! She would take one look at me and tease: "Look at this lovesick girl." She would have been right—I was lovesick. So lovesick Edward had taken up every space in my mind. While still leaving room for Charlie, of course. I was certain I wouldn't need to express my feelings for him to my sister; she would be able to take one look at me and know all the things I feared voicing.

Before my brain could register my body's movements, I placed one foot in front of the other, moving toward the front door while I ignored the anxiety irritating my chest. Today would be a good day, and if it wasn't, it would pass—just like everything else.

Whatever happens, happens.

I took a deep breath and grabbed my purse before I gave my appearance one final check in my hallway mirror. Slowly, I steadied my hands and finished buttoning my flannel, breathing in and out as my anxiety melted away. Today will be an important day. Make it count. With a smile, I left my apartment.

As I knocked on Edward's door, I heard Charlie's squeals coming from inside. My smile grew as it always did when they were near. Seeing them had a way of making everything better. The door swung open to reveal a freshly shaven Edward in a button-down shirt which pleasantly displayed every muscle in his torso. He was gorgeous. It wasn't just his outward appearance that caused me to believe that—his kind heart had a way of shining through; it illuminated him from the inside out. His lips twitched into a smile. In this moment, I realized just how much I loved him. I loved him so much it hurt to look at him. I wanted to launch myself into his arms and never let go.

Of course, I couldn't do that now—Charlie was here, staring at me with guileless eyes and a bright grin. My eyes darted from him to meet his father's gaze. Edward was appraising me, taking in my fall outfit, which had been completed with a light scarf and matching beanie. I'd believed I looked cute when I had put it on, but now, I felt self-conscious.

I always wanted to look beautiful for Edward—at least, at first. Then, when we would get to talking, I would forget all about my tiny, yet nagging, insecurities and focus my mind on him. Right now, I hadn't a single insecurity. What woman can with a man staring at her like this?

His lustful stare fizzled into a look contaminated with nerves. I stepped forward, attempting to reach out for him to ease his stress; instead of accepting my comfort, he handed me Charlie and stepped aside to give me space to enter his apartment. I entered and helped Charlie into his light jacket while keeping an eye on Edward. He shook off my gaze as he pretended to be cool and collected.

Whenever he was especially nervous, he would become silent. He would only utter a word if he had to. Otherwise, he was lost in his own thoughts.

Charlie babbled to me as we headed out. I kept shooting glances in Edward's direction, wondering what he could be pondering so intensely. He was my future, therefore, he had nothing to worry about. Of course, he doesn't know this, Isabella. You're too nervous to ever open up to him! the voice inside of me screamed.

"Edward," I said, instantly grabbing his attention. "You don't have to worry about today. My sister and her husband will love you. I promise."

He rewarded my comment with his signature crooked grin—although, today it looked more like a grimace. Not long after I finished speaking, Edward was lost in his own world again. As we found our seats in his truck, he was a ball of nervous energy at my side.

"Edward, will you chill out?" I asked as I gently nudged his shoulder with mine. "Alice and Jasper will love you. I promise. And Cyndy will be an instant friend to Charlie. Just you wait and see."

He sighed, not appearing too convinced. "If you say so, Bella. It's just that I've never made a good first impression on anyone."

"You made a good first impression on me," I quipped.

He grinned at this and reached across the center console to grab hold of my hand. "What did you think when you first saw me?"

A sly smile tugged on my lips as I gave him a once-over and replied, "I thought you were extremely hot, and I just wanted to …" Let you fuck my brains out. I wanted you to let me lick every one of your tattoos. "Never mind."

"What?"

I mulled it over for a moment before I decided to be honest. "I wanted to run my tongue along the outlines of all of your tattoos." My eyes scanned his exposed skin as I imagined what his unexposed skin looked like. "What did you think when you first saw me?" I asked, changing the subject.

"I thought you were incredibly beautiful and way out of my league," he was quick to respond.

Charlie babbled loudly in the back seat as if he were trying to give his two cents. Edward smiled at his exuberant son before he reached forward to turn the radio dial to a popular kid's station. I took a deep breath, enjoying the positive energy in the car for a moment before I texted Alice, informing her that we were finally on our way.

While we drove, I gave Edward directions and watched his facial expressions fluctuate between peacefulness and anxiousness. He was lost in thought as we moved onto the highway. I wondered what he was thinking. Today was a big day, and he had been contemplative since we'd left our apartment complex.

"It's this exit," I said, gesturing to the off-ramp.

He gulped as he signaled and moved over to the farthest right lane. "So, is your sister … nice?" he mumbled.

I snorted.

"Of course. I wouldn't introduce you to her if I thought she was mean."

He smiled and flushed slightly before answering. "I know, I know. I'm just being ridiculous. I just want shit to go well, you know?"

"It will." I reached forward and brushed my fingers over his white knuckles, feeling his hands relax slightly around the steering wheel. "Now, take a right here, and it's the first neighborhood on the left."

After that, Edward didn't say a word. He was quiet at my side, so coiled up I believed he might snap. We reached my sister's home, and I smiled at the familiar sight of her brick house with her dream wraparound white picket fence. Her living situation was the portrait of the American dream; her life was very dreamlike, too. Edward rolled to a stop next to Jasper's car and parked, trying to calm his nerves. He wasn't succeeding; he still looked just as riddled with anxiety as he had when we left our apartment building.

"Edward …" I began before his forced smile cut me off.

He exited the truck and moved to the cab to retrieve Charlie. I took a deep breath, saying a silent prayer for smooth sailing before I opened the passenger door and exited the truck, too. Alice must have been standing at the front door waiting for us because as soon as we were gathered in her driveway, she bolted out of the house while displaying an exited look on her beautifully made-up face.

"Bella! Finally! I've been waiting for you to show up all morning!"

"I told you lunchtime," I replied as I stepped forward to hug my tiny sister.

She wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me hard, before she took a step back and appraised my two guys. "They're even cuter than you described," she whispered with a wink.

I rolled my eyes at her. Alice's stage whispers were always so dramatic. I turned my attention to Edward, who looked skittish as he stood perfectly still.

"This must be Charlie," Alice cooed as she moved toward the little guy. She took hold of his hand and gave it a small, polite shake. I watched as she shot Edward a pretty smile and continued. "Bella talks about him all the time. She talks about him almost as much as she talks about you." She winked at him.

I rolled my eyes a second time and stepped forward to join my sister. "Edward, this is my sister, Alice," I said, introducing them finally. "Alice, this is my boyfriend, Edward."

"You don't know how happy I am to finally meet you," she shamelessly gushed. "I've been trying to convince my sister to bring you over for lunch since she started talking about you."

Edward's gaze shot to me and he smiled. His eyes danced with mirth. The expression on his face seemed to jokingly say, God, your sister is a bit much, isn't she? I almost laughed out loud before I gained control of myself. Alice was wonderful, but I knew her gregarious, outgoing nature had the possibility of coming across as overbearing.

When neither Edward nor I said anything, Alice continued. "He's so adorable, Edward. You must be so proud of him."

Edward's posture straightened. Suddenly, he seemed to warm up to her.

"I'm proud of him," he confirmed as a smile tugged on his lips. "Charlie's amazing and just so smart. He'll grow to be a lot smarter than I'll ever be."

While Edward was shy, he flourished when he was able to talk about his favorite subject: Charlie. Whenever Charlie became the topic of conversation, Edward could go from a man of few words to someone who was just as chatty and outgoing as my sister.

Alice looked at him for a moment before turning her gaze to me. She seemed to be judging the energy between us, and after a heavy moment, she smiled.

"I'm just so thrilled to see my sister happy. You have no idea how many jackassess she's dated."

"Alice," I sharply warned as I threw her a look of disapproval.

"Sorry, sorry," she apologized, smiling as her eyes teasingly beseeched my forgiveness. "It's just good to see you with someone nice."

My muscles relaxed, and I leaned back on my heels as I grinned at her. While I was no longer tense, I still hated when she brought up a single whiff of my past. It wasn't a discussion I wanted to have yet, and I feared the mere mention of it could spur questions.

I heard the sound of the front door open and close and turned my head to find Jasper coming our way with an excited but shy-looking Cyndy in his embrace. As he walked, he sized Edward up. God, what is he thinking? I knew Edward looked brutish, but after my previous discussions with Jasper, I knew he would be able to see past Edward's intense exterior. From my words alone, he already knew Edward was a good man.

"Hey, Bella," he said as he came to stand with us. His blue eyes shifted to Edward and he smirked, obviously wanting my boyfriend to feel the heat a little bit. "You must be Edward," he continued. "I'm Jasper, Bella's brother-in-law." He sized my boyfriend up before he gave me an impish grin.

He likes him. They like each other. I can already tell.

A blush stained my cheeks as happiness coursed through my veins. In this moment, everything felt so perfect—like I was right where I needed to be. Here, with Edward and Charlie and my family. Maybe one day, they could all be my family … Until then, they are all merely mine—all having a piece of my heart.

"This is our little girl, Cyndy." Jasper introduced her as he took another step closer. Staring down at the little girl, he pressed, "Say hi, sweetie."

She looked up from beneath her lashes and leaned against her father's chest.

"Hi," she softly said.

She gave Charlie a curious glance before a smile tugged at her lips.

"I three," she said, holding up her fingers for Charlie to see. Her gaze turned to me before she questioned, "Who that?" She pointed at Charlie, who was staring back at her with inquisitive eyes.

"This is my son, Charlie," Edward explained as he took a step forward.

"He cute." Cyndy giggled, approving of him before she placed her thumb in her mouth.

While I watched the encounter, I hoped Charlie could become a friend to Cyndy. While he had Edward and me, he needed someone young to relate to. He needed a friend to play with. Maybe one day … I stopped myself. The last thing I needed to be meditating on was the possibility of babies with Edward. Although, it does sound wonderful. More than wonderful. Maybe we could start practicing tonight? I pushed the thought from my mind as I returned my focus to my family, intent on enjoying the day.

Time with my family had flown by in an instant. It had been so wonderful I had felt like I was living in a dream. A dream where I had everything I had ever imagined wanting. There had been instances when I had been silent and absorbed the energy surrounding me. Although, these moments weren't outlandish or extravagant—like something that would usually stick in my memory—I knew I would remember them forever. Sometimes, when I experienced a moment—a feeling—I knew it would be an instance that would stick with me. Whether it was watching a movie with Edward or having lunch with my family, I would feel the moment's importance. It was almost as if my mind would say, Enjoy this. Enjoy this while you can. Not all moments are like this.

Over lunch, Edward had spoken with ease. He had easily fit right in. Jasper had spoken to Edward like he had known him for years. They had discussed work and their likes and dislikes. While it had been small talk, it hadn't felt that way. It had felt like two friends speaking after a long separation. I was happy for them—Edward needed more friends in his life. Part of me wondered if he had secluded himself because he felt undeserving.

I worry about him.

"Can I play with baby, Dada?"

Cyndy's question refocused my thoughts. After an hour and a half of sitting at the dining room table, she was now eager to move around. Jasper gave Edward an inquisitive look, and Edward nodded at him, indicating it was all right. After sitting in his father's lap for so long, I was sure Charlie was eager to move around, too. Jasper moved away from the table and helped Cyndy down from her seat before retreating to the kitchen. Cyndy ran to the living room as she hollered for Charlie over her shoulder. Edward smiled and rose from his seat with Charlie safely tucked in his arms. He walked after Cyndy, obviously eager for his son to have some playtime with another kid.

"Well, Bella, he really is something," Alice said as soon as we were alone.

When she waggled her eyebrows at me, I had lost it, falling into a fit of giggles.

"Seriously, though," she continued, laughing, too. "Where do you find them? He's so … handsome. I would have never guessed he was your type though."

"I never knew he was," I murmured before Jasper called out from the kitchen.

"Want a beer, Edward?" he hollered, causing me to freeze in my seat.

I had warned them. I hadn't delved far into Edward's past—I barely knew his past myself—but instead, politely explained Edward didn't drink. The implications had been obvious. So obvious I thought I had been completely clear with them. Alice threw me an apologetic look before she rose to join her husband in the kitchen.

"No, thanks. I'm good," I heard Edward respond.

As I sat at the dining room table, I imagined what his face must look like. I was sure he looked stricken—the way he always looked when alcohol made its play.

While I sat, I hoped Edward wouldn't be too upset if he discovered I had opened up to my family. While I had said very little, I had said it without consulting Edward first. While his best interest had been in my mind, perhaps it hadn't been my place.

I heard Charlie babbling from the living room, and I relaxed. Everything must be okay, then. I watched Alice dart from the kitchen to join them in the living room. Jasper lagged behind, shooting me an apologetic smile, too, on his way. I rose from my seat and moved to the living room as I heard Charlie babbling "da" again and again.

"Was his first word dad?" I heard my sister ask.

"Well, 'da,' " he corrected her.

"That's just the cutest thing I've ever heard," my sister gushed as I joined them in the room. "Cyndy's first word was 'no.' "

Edward smiled at her before his gaze dropped to his son. "Well, I doubt he knows what he's saying."

I loved this about him—he was so humble. He never wanted to admit to being content; this made me particularly sad. It was as if he felt underserving of happiness, making all of his smiles worth even more to me.

"I'm sure he does know, Edward," I said as I joined them on the floor. Of course, he knows. He loves you, after all. "Edward is an incredible daddy."

Edward's energy had seemed to shift as soon as the sentence had passed through my lips. I hoped he understood how proud I was of him. How proud everyone was of him. For a moment, as he smiled while staring off into the space ahead, I believed he knew he was good. Just for a moment, he seemed to feel worthy.

You are worthy, Edward. If I could, I would give you the world. If I could, I would spend the rest of my life trying to make you smile like this.