A/N: ok…this is spanning from James the gang's 7th year until the Lily and James' wedding…possibly farther…who knows…its in James' POV, because I wuv James so much, and everyone always does things from Lily's POV…anyway, this isn't just about Lily and James, although it may seem like it in the beginning…by the end of the chapter, you'll see that its about everyone…mostly focusing on Lily and James, though…hehe…anyway, I hope you like it!
Disclaimer: I own…erm…some smaller characters…Rebecca Lupin…everyone's personalities, I suppose…and the plot…all the rest belongs to JK Rowling and WB and Bloomsbury Publishing, etc.
Fate's Course
Chapter One: What I've Gotten Myself Into
Today is the most important day of my life, or that's what they say. Today, my entire life will change. "I think I'm going to puke." I stated to my best man, Sirius. My face was at least five shades paler than usual.
"Don't. That suit was expensive." Sirius said and I grinned. He was always the comforting one, I thought sarcastically. "Calm down. Today is going to be the best day of your life."
I groaned. "What have I gotten myself into?"
"You love her, don't you?" I did. I loved Lily Evans more than anything else in the world. "You want to spend the rest of your life with her, don't you?" I did, I think. But everyone I had ever met was standing out there waiting for me to get married. Each and every one of them would be watching me, not that I was shy. Most people would describe me as a real people-person. Lily was the shy one. But, social as I was, I was not prepared to say my wedding vows in front of hundreds of people. "It's just cold feet."
I frowned. "Cold feet. That's it." Sirius patted me on the back and I made my way to my place in front of the crowd of people, waiting for Lily. The music began and her face lifted my heart. This is what I got myself into. All at once, I knew exactly why it was I was standing in front of all of these people. Some people say that love at first sight is the most wonderful feeling in the world. When you simply look at someone, and suddenly know that it's meant to be. Well, I most certainly wouldn't know, because I had looked at Lily for about seven full years and never really felt anything. It happened during that seventh year, though, that I knew it was meant to be.
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I told you that I had known Lily for seven years before I fell in love. Well, not known, really, because Lily Evans was the type of girl who no one quite knows. Not even her friends. She was the kind of person who, when she does talk, you get the feeling she doesn't really care much about what she says. Frankly, not many people knew what to think of Lily Evans. She was gorgeous, that was not to be denied, but she was frighteningly quiet. She was absolutely nothing like any other girl at Hogwarts. And I have to admit, she was the subject of countless insults, many by myself and my friends. The thing is, it was easy to pick on Lily Evans. Since no one was particularly close to her, there was no one to defend her. Her own 'friends' gave up on her around their second year of knowing her. She simply refused to open up to people. There was also the fact that, like I said before, she was gorgeous. This did not work to her own benefit, though, since most of the girls were jealous of her. Overall, Lily never made herself at all popular.
If the Gryffindors gave Lily trouble, though, it was nothing compared to what the Slytherins put the poor girl through. As if being quiet and pretty wasn't bad enough, she was also a muggleborn and although most of the Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, and Ravenclaws couldn't care less, nearly all Slytherins loathed muggleborns. Reminiscing on her situation, you couldn't help feel sorry for the girl. Back then, though, most of us had not matured quite enough to feel bad for her, including me. I was still very much a cocky, immature teenager but as far as I was concerned, I was the luckiest damn teenager in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
You see, I was dating Matilda Lockhart. She was the typical girl that everyone wanted to date. Physically, there was no question of whether she had matured yet. For the entire first week of our dating, my friends, and most of the rest of the boys in the school, with the exception of Slytherins, would congratulate me and throw me high-fives. We had begun dating in the end of sixth year and over the summer, I hadn't spoken to her at all, although she had promised to write over summer holidays, which was why I was slightly nervous on the train ride to Hogwarts. I began searching the compartments when I bumped into my best friend, Sirius.
"James-I have to tell you something-" He began.
"Sirius, hi. Listen, I can't really talk now-" I said, trying to get around Sirius and into the next compartment.
"No! James! Don't go in there! Please! I need to tell you something…" Sirius paused, but I didn't wait for him to finish. I had a bit of an idea of what was inside of that compartment. I walked through to see my suspicions proved correct.
Matilda -my Matilda- was pinned up against the wall of the compartment by none other than Severus Snape –A SLYTHERIN! And not just any Slytherin either, my sworn ENEMY- and they both seemed to be having quite a bit of fun, if you get the picture. Matilda broke off their kisses for a second, only to say, breathlessly, "Oh, James! What a surprise to see you here! Oh, by the way, I think we should see other people." She then went right back to her previous engagement, not acting at all guilty about kissing SEVERUS SNAPE while still dating me. I escorted myself out, feeling a lot less lucky than I had felt when I entered the train. As I walked through compartments to find my friends, I got several pats on the back and quite a few 'I'm sorry, mate's. The Slytherins gave me a rough time, though.
"So, your girlfriend finally came to her senses and dumped you, Potter?" Samuel Flint said, looking smug.
"I wouldn't be talking, Flint. I saw Betsy enjoying herself quite a bit with Malfoy not too long ago." I said, equally smug, and trudged off before Flint could say more. Luckily, I then found my friends. Relieved, I slung into a seat, sighing.
"So, James, how was your summer?" Remus Lupin, one of my friends, asked. I knew Remus was trying to avoid the subject of Matilda, and I gave him a grateful look.
"Alright, I suppose. I missed you all." This was the first summer in which us Marauders –which is our exclusive group of four- had not met at all. Sirius had been traveling all over the world, with his family, who were important ministry officers and needed to go to many countries. Remus had spent the summer with his uncle in Portugal. And Peter- well, every time I had asked Peter to come stay at his house, Peter's reply was that he was 'busy'. Oddly enough, Peter was nowhere in the compartment to be seen. It really was great to see my friends again.
"How's your mum?" Sirius asked. On any other occasion, that would be a touchy subject. Today, however, was different.
"She's doing better." I lied. In truth, my mother was doing terribly. "She's eating now." This was true. My mother had begun to eat tiny portions of food daily. This was a relief, but she still barely ever came out of her room. It really was a lonely summer for me. One in which I needed my friends the most. They knew, and felt bad, I know, but I couldn't help feeling like they abandoned me when I had needed them most.
Remus and Sirius simultaneously bit their lips, not knowing what to say next. Luckily for them, Peter cut them off. He looked breathless. "James!" He squeaked, his short, chubby body panting for breath. "You'd never guess who I just saw in the compartment back there kissing Severus Snape!"
"WORMTAIL!" Remus and Sirius both shouted, angrily. Peter wore a clueless face. He was oblivious to the fact that the last thing I wanted to hear was someone else telling me about my ex-girlfriend's escapades. Wormtail, by the way, was Peter's nickname. Each of the Marauders had nicknames. Sirius was Padfoot, Remus was Moony and I was Prongs.
"It's ok, Pete. I already heard." I explained.
"Oh." He said, nervously. "I'm sorry, Prongs." He looked sincere and I gave him a small, fake grin to act as though it didn't really matter.
"Don't worry, mate. You can always get a new girlfriend this year. I hear Lily Evans doesn't have a boyfriend." Sirius joked. I scowled at him. He was really treading on shaky ground and he knew it. But he also knew that he was my best friend and the best way to help me get over it was to begin to tease me about it, if that made any sense.
"That's harsh, Padfoot." Remus said, chuckling.
"No, I'm serious. You'd make a cute couple." He grinned widely.
"Not funny, Sirius." I couldn't help smiling a bit.
"Sirius is right, though." Peter piped in. I looked shocked. Peter usually wasn't one to tease me, although clueless at times, Peter most definitely knew when it was best not to say anything. "Not the whole Lily Evans thing, but that you can get a new girlfriend this year. You are head boy this year. With any luck, there'll be a good looking head girl."
Remus nodded. "Wormtail's right. Anyway, there are lots of girls in Hogwarts who are just dying to date you before we graduate."
"I suppose." I said skeptically. I'm not sure if I just wanted to find someone who I could 'date', though. I didn't say this to the Marauders, for fear that they'd all laugh at me, but I was beginning to feel restless with all the girls in Hogwarts. They were just girls. None of them cared about me at all. They all dated me for one purpose: popularity. The Marauders had established a social status all their own. Not only were we infamous for playing pranks, but everyone, besides the Slytherins, idolized us and wanted to be or date us. No, I'm not bragging. That's just how it was. Somehow, unintentionally, we'd managed to become popular. We hadn't done anything to make ourselves popular, it just happened one day. Not that we were complaining. We quite enjoyed ruling the school. My point was, though, any girl who dated us would forever hold a higher place in the Hogwarts social hierarchy. Basically, any girl who dated me pretty much just used me. It had been quite fun for the past few years. But, to tell you the truth, I was beginning to want someone who actually cared about, maybe even loved, me. I know it sounds naïve and Sirius would probably tell me not to be stupid and that love doesn't exist, but is it too much to ask to find someone who likes me for who I am and not who I'm with?
"Earth to Prongs. Don't space out like that. We need to discuss-" Sirius stopped as the compartment door creaked open. A familiar redhead peaked in, her face matching the color of her hair.
"I'm-erm, sorry. But, all the other compartments seem to be full. And you seem to have empty seats here-so, um…I was wondering if-if-um, I could sit in here?" I told you Lily was easy to tease, but that was when her back was turned. When she was actually in front of you, talking, she was so damn innocent-sounding that it was hard to say no to her.
"Oh, hi, Lily. I don't think that should be a problem. Let me just discuss it with my friends." Sirius gave her a cheesy, fake smile and turned to us. "What do you think?" He whispered.
"Sirius, you know the rules. This is our compartment. No one comes in. No exceptions." I said, annoyed. I ignored the fact that I had been in this compartment during the train ride home with Matilda.
"Prongs, chill." Remus said. "What are we supposed to do? We can't just kick her out. Anyway, if she overhears anything, it's not as though she could tell anyone."
"Yeah. Anyway, we never talk about anything serious on train rides. We only established that rule because we were doing the anima-" Peter was cut off.
"Shh!" Sirius said. "Fine, ok. She can stay. What harm can she do? We'll just ignore her."
"Fine." I grumbled. I wasn't very happy with having Lily Evans in our compartment, although I didn't quite know why. Maybe it was because Sirius had just teased me about her earlier. Whatever the reason, I felt quite uncomfortable with her sitting across from me.
There was no sound for quite a few minutes. It seemed that no one was sure what we could and couldn't say around Lily.
"So, Lily, what did you do over the summer?" Peter asked, breaking the silence. I felt a sudden burning feeling of anger. Now we were conversing with her? I was being stupid, maybe, but this was our compartment. I needed to talk to my friends and I couldn't talk to them with her in the compartment. This was all her fault! I gave Peter a glare that conveyed exactly that message. Peter ignored me, though.
Lily glanced up, as though shocked that we were speaking to her. "Oh. Nothing, really. I stayed at home."
"That's nice. Do you have a nice house?" Remus attempted, feebly, oblivious to the fact that he probably shouldn't be asking someone about the condition of their house. I was quickly growing more annoyed. Why on earth were we making small talk with this girl? I thought we were going to ignore her!
"Excuse me, but I have engagements in other compartments." I frowned, and stormed out of the compartment. I was being immature and I knew it, but today was not turning out how I had wanted it to. I had been dumped by my girlfriend, and I needed to speak to my friends but they were too busy getting friendly with just about the most boring, annoying girl on earth.
I stepped through a couple compartments until I finally sat down with Frank Longbottom, a Ravenclaw and close friend of mine, and a few other acquaintances. "Hi, Frank." I said, nodding toward him.
"Hi, James. Why aren't you with Sirius, Remus and Peter?" Frank asked. Why should I be with them? Honestly, everyone thought I needed to spend my entire life with those three. We weren't a package deal. I could spend time with whoever I wanted.
"They're quite busy right now." I replied, trying to keep the sarcasm from my voice.
Frank raised his eyebrows, but didn't pursue it any more. That was the good thing about Frank. He knew I would get annoyed and never purposely did anything to annoy me, unlike some people. Coincidentally, Sirius tumbled into the compartment just then.
"James, come on, you bloody git. You're being so stupid." He managed to drag me out of the compartment, although I did put up a good fight, if I do say so myself. Once outside of earshot of anyone, Sirius began to lecture me. "James, you are acting amazingly immature. You're seventeen, mate. You need to start acting like it. I know you're in a bad mood for various reasons, but no need to take it out on us." I shrugged off the comments.
"Well, is it my fault if I want to talk to my friends in privacy?"
Sirius glared. "You have all year to talk to us. Honestly. Do that poor girl a favor and spare her a few minutes of your time. I don't think she's ever spoken to someone our age before."
"Since when did you get so sensible, Sirius?"
"What? I haven't always been sensible?" Sirius grinned, and I shoved him in the stomach. "I mean it, though. She seemed so grateful that we spoke to her." I nodded and we both walked back to the compartment.
"You're back. Good." Remus nodded toward us. "Who wants to play Exploding Snap with me? How about you, Lily? Care for a go?" Remus suggested. Lily looked nervous.
"I would, but I don't know how." Lily bit her lip, clearly embarrassed.
"You don't know how to play Exploding Snap?" Remus stared at her, ludicrously.
"No." Lily blushed. "Sorry."
"Don't be. That's ok. I can teach you. I'm just, well, surprised. Haven't you ever played at home?" Remus was appalled at the idea of someone who hadn't grown up with Exploding Snap. It was a classic and had been around since we were small children.
"No. I don't think my family would approve of a game where the cards exploded." A slight smile was just barely noticeable on her face.
"Oh, right, they're muggles." Lily nodded and Remus began to explain the game.
"See, she's not so bad, is she?" Sirius asked, under his breath.
"No, I suppose she's not." I think I drifted off for a while, because the next time I opened my eyes, the food cart was coming around.
"Ooh! Food!" Sirius said, handing numerous coins to the woman pushing the cart. "I want cockroach clusters, and ten boxes of bertie bottes, please, and a couple chocolate frogs, and-" Sirius continued on for nearly ten minutes. Finally, the woman, nearly out of candy, turned to me.
"Anything for you?" She asked.
"No, I'll just steal from him." I grinned.
"Hey!" Sirius clutched his candy close to him. "It's mine!"
I managed to pilfer half of Sirius' candies, and together we devoured them.
Remus and Peter, who each carried two small candies, were used to this, but Lily looked appalled.
"How will you ever have an appetite for your dinner?" She asked, looking at the large masses of candy as though it was a pile of something quite disgusting.
"Oh, we will." Sirius answered, as he crunched into a cockroach cluster. I shuddered. I couldn't stand to eat those.
After Sirius and I had eaten our way through every last bit of candy, we noticed that we were getting close to Hogwarts and decided to change into our robes. I noticed something shiny on the front of Lily's robes. My eyes widened. The letters HG were recognizable. I couldn't help thinking, so much for dating this years new Head Girl. Lily wasn't so bad, I thought, but she still was definitely not girlfriend material. Call me egoistic, but I did have a reputation to withhold. "You're Head Girl?" I asked, trying to keep any disappointment out of my voice.
"Yes." Lily beamed. She seemed genuinely happy by this. It really wasn't too surprising. Her grades were high and, unlike me, she never got into any trouble. "And you're Head Boy. Sirius told me." She gave me a quick smile.
I returned it, although I wasn't quite as excited as she seemed to be. To be honest, I wasn't quite sure why I was Head Boy. I did nothing but cause trouble, although, I suppose, if my grades were any indication, I was most fit for being Head Boy. Still, the only reason I had high grades was because I pushed myself hard. I wasn't at all extraordinarily gifted or talented in any subject, except, perhaps, for Transfiguration. Still, being Head Boy had its advantages, as Sirius reminded me in each of his owls over the summer. I could get away with most anything, and my friends would have one less person to worry about catching them in the act of doing something wrong. It also made my mother very proud. Then she began to tell me about how father was Head Boy and slumped back into depression.
"Earth to Prongs! Stop dawdling! We need to get off the train now!" Remus said, pulling me up from my seat. We approached the carriages and the four of us stepped inside. "Care to join us, Lily?" Remus asked. It seemed the heads of the entire school turned toward Remus. There was complete silence for a second. Suddenly a voice came from a carriage behind us. It was Michelle, Shelly, Scott, a good-natured Hufflepuff who was fairly popular.
"Lily can sit in here, if she'd like." Shelly said kindly.
"No, I think Lily will be sitting in here with us." Echoed the voice of Emily Green, who grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her into her carriage. Emily was a snotty, popular Ravenclaw who cared about nothing but clothes, popularity and gossip. The second Lily stepped inside that carriage, I sensed trouble. I could see from the looks on my friends' faces that they sensed it as well. Still, there wasn't exactly anything we could do.
Once inside the carriage, the four of us began a conversation. "So, Prongs, what's been on your mind?" Remus asked. Remus was usually the one who noticed when something was upsetting us.
"Nothing." I lied. "Well, its just silly things. I'm not having the best beginning to the school year is all."
"You will get a new girlfriend, you know." Peter said comfortingly. "You'll find someone better than Matilda."
"Yeah, thanks, Pete." I said, not believing it. "Its also my mum. She's going crazy. At first I thought it was because of father…you know, killing himself. But it's been almost four months now and she seems tormented. Sometimes she calls me Patrick-you know, my father. And then sometimes she doesn't even seem to see me. It's like she's living in her mind. Sometimes I don't think she even remembers me. And when she does, she's just crying and saying how much I remind her of father. She's going crazy. And I think its something else. Something that has to do with the reason my father killed himself. I think its something that's bothering her, maybe someone. But she won't tell me or anyone else."
My friends looked worried. "I'm sorry, James. I shouldn't have gone away this summer." Sirius said, looking guilty.
"No, its not your fault. I mean, it wouldn't have helped too much if you were there. I needed to spend most of my time taking care of mum anyway. She wouldn't let any of the house elves do anything to her. She wanted 'Patrick' to do it. The house elves were quite distressed, to say the least, poor things. I think they also knew what was bothering mum, though. They wouldn't tell either, though."
Sirius nodded. "That's one bad thing about house elves. They're too good at keeping secrets."
"Isn't that a good thing? They're reliable." Remus said.
"But what if you want to get something out of them? You'd need Veritiserum to get a secret out of most of them. And don't worry, James. I'm sure you'll find out what's bothering your mum soon. But until she tells you, don't ask her about it. If it's something bad, I don't think she wants to hear about it." Sirius said, sounding very intelligent.
I nodded, and changed the topic. "We're going to win the Quidditch Cup this year. This is my last chance." I was Quidditch captain
"We have three positions open. You'll have to pick the best." I nodded in agreement and the carriages came to a halt. We got out and walked toward the Hogwarts entrance. From behind me, I heard Emily interrogating Lily.
"Ok, so, not Peter. What about Remus? Not Remus! You're not going out with Remus, are you?" Emily asked Lily, engrossed with interest. Of course she would be. She assumed that to sit with us, Lily would have to be going out with one of us.
Lily blushed. "No, Emily, I told you that I'm not-"
Emily cut her off. "Oh my god. Why didn't I see it before?" Emily shook her head. "You're going out with James, aren't you? It makes perfect sense. Head Boy and Girl…Christi! Did you hear? Lily Evans is going out with James Potter!"
My jaw dropped. I heard Lily's feeble protests, but Emily was no longer listening to her. This was not good. Maybe it was for Lily, because she was finally getting the popularity she'd never had, but for me, this was hell. I needed to stop these rumors before things got out of hand. "Sirius! Did you hear? I'm going out with Lily Evans now." I said sarcastically.
"Yup. I heard." He nodded, grinning. "Why didn't you tell me? When's the wedding?"
I rolled my eyes. "What am I going to do?"
"Oh, just ignore it. It's just a rumor. It'll die down by tomorrow."
I sighed and sat down in the Great Hall to watch the sorting ceremony. Things were going quite normally until I heard 'Lupin, Rebecca' being called. I turned toward Remus, whose face looked paler than usual, and that was saying a lot for Remus, who constantly looked the exact color of chalk. "Remus, why didn't you tell me your sister was coming to Hogwarts? Wait, why didn't you tell me you had a sister?"
"I didn't know." Remus answered, his jaw dropped.
"What? That she was coming? Or that you had one?" Sirius asked, butting into the conversation.
"Both, in a way. I mean, I knew I had a sister. I just didn't know I have one." Remus explained, although both boys still looked confused and watched as the girl sat down at the Ravenclaw table. "I'll explain it to you later." He whispered.
The boys finished their meal in an awkward, hurried silence and were the first to get up from the tables, or they thought they were. A brown-haired girl stood at the foot of the steps when Remus came crashing into her.
The girl fell over, and Remus began his apologies until he saw her face. Her face looked pale as well. "…Remus?" She asked, her eyes filling with tears.