The Explorer and his Tech-Dude

"We're gonna die aren't we?" Was what a distinctively long-nosed man with long curly black hair muttered at his companion. He cringed looking at a maniacally grinning raven head man with midnight black eyes, a peculiar horizontal scar below his left eye. He had been with the man for so long that he knew full well what that smile meant. Bad news...very ...very bad news for the long-nosed man.

"Shishishi, what are you talking about Usopp! This is totally fun!" The raven head replied nonchalantly without looking at his friend, ducking through a forest of icicle-shaped stalactite formation hanging from the cave ceiling, water dripping through its pointed length. Vapor came out of his mouth with every breath that left his warm body and comes in contact with the cold air. The temperature dramatically decreased as they delved deeper and deeper into the cave. Protectively clutching his straw hat and towing his long-nosed friend behind, he crouched and was soon on his hands and knees, maneuvering through a very narrow tunnel.

"Fun my ass! You think being trapped in a freaking ancient cave system in the middle of a freaking tundra is fun?! Usopp complained, exasperated with all the senseless shit he had experienced as he spent one freaking hour with his companion. Just one freaking hour and he almost died five times. He crawled to the tight expanse, following the straw-hatted man, shivering, and teeth chattering from the sudden temperature drop.

Emerging from the tunnel and into a bigger cavity of the cave, Ussop rubbed his eyes as he tried to adjust to the darkness. He saw the raven head fumbling through his white and red striped jacket, grabbing a flare and lighting it up without further hesitation. The flare lit the cavern, immediately, high pitched screeching, swooping and flapping sounds echoed as startled hanging bats woke up from their slumber. Usopp yelped and threw himself down on the ground, his hands protecting his head from the swarm hovering above him. He didn't even mind the bat excretion and strong stench of urine. He dare peeked through his hands only to see his companion frozen in awe ignoring the flapping bats.

The raven head stood unmoving tightly holding the flare, eyes wide open and mouth agape trying to soak in the display in front of him. Caricatures, strange shape and patterns encrusted on the cave wall glimmered as red light bounced in the cavern. Usopp slowly stood up and tiptoed towards the other man who was still gaping at the wall. Below the 'ancient doodles' that Usopp couldn't comprehend, faint indentations of what seemed to be ancient writings followed.

"Usopp give me your camera, fast!" the man said with obvious enthusiasm. Usopp crouched and dropped his backpack on the wet cave floor. He rummaged through his backpack trying to find his waterproof camera. After constant nagging and yapping about 'how this discovery can aid them in finding the treasure and revealing an important part of history' and some more blabbering that Usopp had no idea what it was about from his companion, Usopp finally found the damned camera and gave it to his friend hoping it will shut the man up. The camera's clicking sound revibrated in the hollow tunnels and the flickering light flashed as the raven head abused the shutter button of Usopp's poor camera.

The raven head paused as Usopp placed all the scattered gadgets lying on the ground. The long-nosed man complained about damages and payments and how the straw-hatted teen destroys most of his prized gadgets. "Shhh, Usopp... Do you hear that?" the raven head whispered, closing his eyes and nose scrunched in concentration. He cupped his ear with his hand. Usopp hurriedly ran beside the man, his hands trembling not from the temperature but out of fear.

"Is it them?" he asked his companion, speaking in a voice not louder than a whisper. Usopp questioned his life choice as he hid behind his friend pale as sheet. First, nothing...nothing ever goes well with his best friend because he was an insane adventure-obsessed freak that didn't care shit about Usopp's opinions on the importance of life and self-preservation. One does not simply have a normal life if you're friends with a lunatic with a shit-eating grin.
Second, he didn't sign up for this shit. He woke up in the middle of the godforsaken frozen lands halfway across the world without any clue as to how he ended up there, only to see his best friend looming over him grinning like the lunatic that he was. How the bastard explained everything made Usopp want to pull every single strand of his hair. 'Oh, I shot you with a tranquilizer gun cause I know you won't come with me cause you're boring sometimes. But I need your help cause I'm shit with tech things and you're good at it so I hauled your skinny ass here and taadaa!' Never in his 22 years of life did Usopp had the intense desire to strangle a person. Usopp was so close to gouging his friend's eyes from its sockets but his inner voice stopped him, he needed the bastard to escape the nightmarish damp dark place.

Monkey D. Freaking Luffy, Usopp's, oh-so-dear-best friend who was also a maniac, was Usopp's only key for survival in his current predicament. The tech-loving man actually admires his friend wholeheartedly. They met in their grade school years, became inseparable and basically grew up together. They even went to the same middle school, high school, and university until the bastard dropped out of uni to 'explore' the world. Luffy had a freaking superior IQ of 160, that was probably why Usopp could never understand how his friend's brain work or it was also because his friend's actions sometimes did not include the important function of the brain called thinking. His skull might as well be hollow. Usopp does not understand why the smartest ones are always the weirdest too. Living proof was his friend, Luffy.
Luffy threw the flare on the floor and stepped on it and safely tucked the camera inside his jacket's pocket as he heard muffled voices along the tunnels. Sudden darkness covered the cavern and Luffy grabbed Usopp's hand, towing his tech-loving friend, he quickly hid behind a ridge of rock jutting out from the cave wall. "Is it -" Luffy placed a finger on Usopp's lip to shut him up. Luffy inched forward moving his knees and took a peek through a narrow gap between the ridge where they hid. It was dark and the view was obscured by rock's pointy texture but he could make out four dot-like lights at the end of the tunnel.

Usopp was forced to train a bit with Luffy when the idiot decided to make him his tech guy but just because he trained for shit like this didn't mean he wasn't scared shitless. The bastards came after them. Usopp's heart skipped a beat as he realized their pursuer had moved closer, the distance between could only be a few meters. Heavy footsteps and splashing water echoed inside the tunnel. Usopp's heart almost jumped out of his chest as his hands were yanked by Luffy, both of them slipping through the slick rocks like they were on a freaking slide on a playground and the bastard had the guts to laugh.
"Luffy!" Usopp semi screamed, flailing his hand as they landed a perfect 10 on the deeper part of the cave.

"I said shhh Usopp." the raven head demanded, pouting as he brushed his now wet straw hat. Usopp smacked Luffy's head.

"Shh? What do you mean shh, your laughter reached Grandline for fuck sake! Do you even realize the danger we're in? What the hell man!" Usopp said through gritted teeth in a hushed yet demanding voice. He grabbed Luffy's arm and shook the man hoping his brain would actually work and start functioning. " There are currently eight...freaking eight guys chasing us Luffy! They.. they have guns and shit!" Usopp added.

The straw-hatted man dramatically drew in a deep breath and tilted his head sideways, the straw hat tied around his neck flung to the side. He furrowed his brows, sighed and placed a finger on his creased forehead staring off the distance as if in deep thought. He then placed his clenched fist over his palm as if he finally found the answers to mind-boggling questions relating to the universe with his mouth forming an 'o'. Usopp sighed in relief, it seemed his friend finally sorted his brains and decided to make it function normally.

"Actually... there were ten men carrying semi-automatic handguns with laser sight and five of them had grenade sashes," Luffy said as a matter-of-fact like it didn't concern his well being. Usopp groaned loudly as he facepalmed himself, he hoped his hand would go straight through his face so he dies right there and then or rip out his brain and smack it on Luffy's /
"Oh wow! Sorry for not being freaking specific Luffy! We were running away from those psycho's, I didn't exactly have the leisure to see what shit they were bringing cause I freaking value my life, unlike some idiot I know!" Usopp screeched, raising his hands in defeat. Just what did he expect from this man actually? This was Luffy he was talking to. The idiot who stole an advanced lethal weapon that Dr. Vega Punk created for the World Government cause he got fucking bored. Great! So fucking brilliant! Usopp wondered how on the seven seas did this man survive until now or why he was not dumped in Impel Down.

"Whoaw... whoaw man, don't be so defensive," Luffy said moving a few steps back from Usopp. "Chill~ Shishishi". Usopp wanted to just drop dead and end his torment.

Luffy snapped up towards the slope they slid off, his eyes went wide his expression one of glee quickly turned into alarm. He lurched forward towards Usopp's direction, knocking down the shocked man. Faint voices moved in their direction growing louder and louder until the muffled voices turned to yelling and then came the gunshots. Luffy cursed himself for not paying attention and delaying his response. They stumbled blindly farther down the cave, barrelling through and breaking stalagmites and stalactites, their bodies hitting the unforgiving rocky floor.

Luffy and Usopp groaned as they fell into a shallow pool of frigid stagnant water. Both men heard a loud thud and then the sound of an exploding grenade broke, the tunnels shook violently. "Shit!" Luffy cursed and covered Usopp with his body, arms wrapped around his head. Usopp tried to push him off but the man didn't budge. "Stop it Luffy! You'll get hurt!" Usopp screamed through the ringing sound as Luffy's body pressed against his. Mixture of rocks, snow and ice mass broke into pieces and rolled down the slope slamming hard on Luffy's back. The raven head groaned as each debris hit his back.

Rolling masses finally settled leaving dust and fog and dissolved into the surrounding darkness. Luffy pushed himself up, debris falling off his back and tried to stand up. He sputtered and coughed as dust filled his mouth. He closed his eyes tight then opened them again, it was pitch black. He felt Usopp's hand flailing trying to grasp onto something. Luffy rummaged his jacket for a light stick, he was right to use the flare earlier. He found the stick after a few minutes of fumbling his pocket and snapped it, the yellow light illuminated the tunnel.

"Shit! Luffy you're bleeding!" Usopp said as soon as the light hit his eyes and gave him a proper view of his best friend. His ears still rung from the loud explosion as he brushed his soaking clothes and stood up.
"It's okay Usopp, I just need to- "Luffy hissed as he pulled a lodged stone on his right arm. "Hold this for me." Luffy gave Usopp the light stick. Usopp grabbed the stick and examined the wound. "That's a deep gash Luffy. Shit. That looks painful." Usopp cringed. The raven head unzipped his jacket and took it off ignoring the freezing cold. Luffy grabbed hold of his undershirt and ripped off a piece of it to tie around the wound and stop the bleeding. "Usopp pull the other side of the cloth, pull it hard." Usopp immediately assisted Luffy. Luffy grimaced as the cloth constricted his arm. "Fuck that hurts," he said.

"We need to get out of here, we don't have any first aid. You'll bleed to death. Plus, we're soaking wet, we'll eventually freeze and die if we spend too much time here and damn, look at you man, I told you not to cover me. You have tons of wounds and I'm sure you're gonna bruise. Chopper will kill us. Fuck." Usopp said helping Luffy put his jacket back on and sat him on a rock slab. Usopp opened his soaked bag, hoping his gadgets still worked. He grabbed a notebook and chanted 'work work work' over and over as if it would magically help his gadget turn on. As soon as it lit up Usopp beamed and started typing.

"Where's the camera Usopp?" Luffy asked while snapping another light stick. He examined his straw hat, looking for cuts and holes. Luffy sighed in relief to see his hat safe and sound without any damage.
"Ugh, I dunno?" Usopp looked up and shrugged. Luffy tapped every pocket in his jacket and pants. He sighed as he felt the square-ish thing in his jacket pocket. He took out the camera from his pocket and tried to turn it on. He pressed the button over and over. Nothing happened, this is why Luffy can never have techy things , they hated him. They always seemed to break when he holds them. He wanted to sue those things for discrimination.

Luffy groaned. "Usopp the camera won't turn on, the photos I took earlier are freaking important. Shit!"
"Dude. there's a thing called memory card?" Usopp rolled his eyes. "Why am I not surprised that you're more worried about the pictures than my freaking camera? That's the fifth one you broke Luffy! Fifth one i tell you. You better replace it."

Luffy looked around and examined their location, ignoring his friend's complaints. The guy had ten more cameras stored in his vault, he didn't need more. "What are you doing?" he asked Usopp.
"I'm trying to get our location. I just hope there's a fucking signal in here or else it might take a while." Usopp said without looking at Luffy, all focused on his notebook screen..
"Oh ...you don't have to do that. I know the way out. We came in from the North East entrance and I guided us down south, there should be an exit somewhere... over there." he said calmly pointing at the opposite direction of the sloped tunnel now blocked with rubble.

Usopp stared at his friend with suspicion, he narrowed his eyes and stopped fiddling with his notebook. "Luffy, don't tell me you knew the way out from the start?"Usopp asked in a sing-song manner. The raven head nodded. "But you still dove deeper into this..." Usopp flailed his arms motioning the cave" this.. freaking frozen hole of hell?" he screeched like a banshee.
"Hmm. Frozen hell? Does that even exist? I thought hell is burning? You know, flames and lava and stuffs. " Luffy tilted his head.

"Ughhhhh!" Usopp pulled his hair in frustration, talking to a rock was better than dealing with his best friend. "I didn't mean it literally you idiot, are you really a genius? cause if you are, I'm losing hope with our system and we're all doomed... But it doesn't matter if it exists or not, I'm asking why did you have to haul our asses all the way down here when you knew the way out in the first place!"

"Usopp," Luffy said in a serious voice as he placed his hands on Usopp's hunched shoulders and stared intently into Usopp's eyes. "It's because caves are awesome! Caves scream adventure! It would be a shame if I don't go and explore it! Duh?! What else? " he suddenly screamed in front of Usopp's face making the long-nosed man cringed and feel stupid..

At that moment, Usopp made a vow, he would definitely strangle Luffy some time soon. "Don't drag me into this shit Luffy. I'm too young to die.I still wanna marry Kaya and have kids. I'll freaking haunt you for the rest of your life if I die!" Usopp grumbled shutting his notebook off and shoving it into his bag. He sighed what did he expect from Luffy really, Usopp decided to not let his hope up. It was a miracle that he survived until now with all the bullshit Luffy dragged him into. They were lucky they came out unscathed, well sort of considering Luffy was wounded. Still, he bows to whatever entity that was currently looking after Luffy that they're in one piece and not blown into smithereens by those angsty psycho armed men that fed on steroids. They had ridiculous muscles, it almost ripped their clothes. And no, Usopp was not envious, he was totally content with his body.

"Shishishi, well that's good then. You'll still be with me even if you die, I won't be alone." Luffy grinned. Usopp thought it was sweet for Luffy to think that way but still very wrong at the same time because that meant Luffy already decided to make Usopp's mortal life a living hell. He'd prefer a chat with Satan involving torture rather than spending eternity with a lunatic 'beastfriend'.

"What am I going to do with you," Usopp muttered running a hand through his messy hair, cringing every time his hand got stuck in tangled knots. "Just get me out of here please." he sighed.
"Shishishi, alright. Let's go!" Luffy bounced from the rock slab and ran towards the 'exit' waving the light stick he was holding. "Hurry up Usopp! Before they find our car! I don't want to walk in these freezing lands!" The raven head screamed as he turned around to wait for his friend.

"You shouldn't have come here in the first place then." Usopp sighed as he flung his bag over his shoulder and began to walk towards Luffy wondering how on earth could he still walk normally with all those wounds.