Author's Note: A one shot into the aftermath of Neji's death. I know many people have done their own version of this but not like mine :) Love it, as I love it. Cry as I have cried lol. I did this in a day so if you spot any grammar or misspellings please let me know.

(There is a little adult suggestion but it is brief and no detail so don't freak out.)

Letting Go

The first thing Neji noticed when he opened his eyes was that it was raining. And though it was dark it had to be sometime in the afternoon because it wasn't yet night. The second thing he noticed, TenTen laid beside him.

They were at their training grounds, a good distance from the village. It was on the top of a hill, overlooking their home. It was slowly becoming recognizable again and now that the war was over, they could finally begin to focus on its reconstruction. Neji blinked water out of his eye as he looked down at his lifelong teammate.

She laid on her back with her arms and legs spread, staring at the raining sky. She dressed in black, an unusual outfit for her and it was completely drenched as the rain continued to pour. She didn't seem to mind. And neither did it bother him as he sat upon his knees, dressed in his typical white garp. He took note that his insignia was missing and he glanced along the ground wondering if it had been misplaced. He said nothing however. The silence was welcome. Thunder rumbled and every so often lightning strikes in the distance. It did not scare them. It was too far away.

"It just won't stop." She whispered after a time.

He looked down at her and then to the rain. Rain was necessary. Without it, there could be no growth. No rebirth. Rain was a part of the world around them just as the wind blowing or the birds chirping. She needed no lecture though and so he remained silent. It wouldn't rain forever she would find. It might seem endless now, but the sky will soon clear and the sun will shine again.

TenTen shifted, rolling to her side before she held herself up by her arm, staring at the ground. Liquid dripped off her nose, her chin. The action seemed to take so much from her. She was tired. Neji stood and held out his hand to help her up. But she did not take it. She did not see it. "I don't feel like training today." She mumbled as she lifted the dead weight of her body to her feet.

He dropped his hand to his side. "I can walk you home." He picked his bag off the ground and took a step after her.

TenTen turned around and lifted her head. There was a smile on her face, weak, forced, and entirely fake. He hated it. And though rain poured between them, he noticed now the tears in her eyes. They dripped over her cheeks and disappeared. "I'll see ya around, Neji."

She ran then, faster than he wanted her too. He had taken a step towards her but she was gone. "I'll see you, TenTen."

It was loud this time. Voices from every direction. But he pinpointed Lee from the doorway. It was their restaurant. A habitual tradition to eat together after every mission. The four of them sat in the same booth and seemed to order the same food with the same drinks. Lee would somehow find a dessert hidden somewhere and make a fool of himself. TenTen and himself would sit beside one another and attempt not to be embarrassed but they always were. And Gai paraded around like a proud father, with three very different and unique adopted children.

Neji approached the table and found that they were waiting for him. They were unusually quiet. Nowhere near as excitable and entertaining as they obnoxiously are. TenTen, he noticed, stared at his empty seat and so he took it, hoping she would no longer look so distant. Her eyes drifted then and her chopsticks tapped on the table.

Gai took a sip of his drink before he began, "I know we usually only meet after a mission but I wanted to gather for this very serious matter."

"It's not serious." TenTen sighed through her nose shifting.

"This is a grave matter."

She looked to Neji for sympathy and then her brows knit and she dropped her head.

Confused, Neji inquired, "What is it about?"

"Please," Lee demanded as well, "inform us of this urgent situation?"

"TenTen is quitting."

She slouched as Lee and Neji both turned to look at her.

"Quitting?" Lee exasperated.

"What does he mean?" Neji question.

"It's not a big deal."

"Of course it is."

"Of course it is." Lee reciprocated. "You cannot stop being a ninja. It is who you are."

"I agree."

She took a deep breath and she sat up, "Look, I always wanted to open up a weapon's shop. I was going to wait until I was older and...retire but...things change. People change. And building material is cheap right now. I can have my shop built for a fourth of what I have in my savings. I might never get this chance again."

"TenTen...this isn't what-"

"No." She stood, looking down at the three of them. "This is my choice. Support it. Or stay out of my life." She stalked out of the restaurant.

Neji left the table, unsatisfied with such an answer. He had spent all of his teenage years building her strength, making her into a fine shinobi. He had not done all of that for her to throw it away. She had a future to be the best. They had dreams to reach the status of Hokage. Why all the struggle for nothing? All the hours, the sweat, the blood; he deserved a better answer then 'this is my choice'. He followed her down the street and she cut through an alley where her hurried pace ceased. Her back hit the wall and her chin dropped to her chest.

"TenTen. Don't do this."

"How does it feel?" She whispered bitterly.

He stepped closer upon noticing tears drip down her nose.

She sniffed and looked up and for a minute he felt her looking into his eyes. But then she blinked and turned her head. As he lifted his hand, to touch her cheek, she stepped away, rubbing the wetness from her skin. "It sucks, doesn't it?" And she was gone.

He was running. Trees were smacking into his arm but he pushed faster still until he saw her ahead of him. There were one more with them, an ANBU leading the pack. They whistled and as directed, Neji and TenTen dropped to the floor beside him. He made a signal and TenTen nodded, digging into her bag for a kunai. She also pulled out a mask and slipped it over her face. Excitement bubbled over her, he could tell in the way she twirled the blade and the way her fingers flexed. She was ready for a kill. One more silent wave and she slipped out of the trees. Neji watched with the ANBU leader as TenTen came up behind her victim and cut his throat. The body fell and she lifted her mask watching him gurgle.

Neji and the ANBU stepped out.

She was panting staring down at him, dying, taking his last breath as he suffocated on his own blood.

"Are you alright?"

She nodded.

"What do you think?"

"Maybe."

He lifted his own mask, resting it on his head. Neither Neji nor TenTen had met him before. He was older, by a few years. He had a scar on his face what seemed a few weeks old. It was in the stages of healing.

He tilted his head when he noticed TenTen staring at it, "From Madara." He smiled, proud. "You get any scars?"

TenTen turned to look at him and Neji turned to face her, wanting to pull her from this place. ANBU was never a discussion. It wasn't possible to make a mark on the world with a mask. She knew this. He had wanted to stop her but he found himself only capable of supporting her.

"No." She replied vaguely. She kneeled down and wiped her knife off on the dead man's clothes before she stuffed it back in her holster.

"Come on." He slipped his mask back on. "I'll buy you a drink."

Neji was following her home. She was intoxicated and this lecher was creeping on her. Jaxs was his username tonight though he half suspected it was a fake. He would do more research about this stranger come morning but right now, he needed to make sure she got home safe. Jaxs had his arm around her shoulder as she walked down the path to her apartment. He hadn't been to her new place yet. She hadn't been forthcoming with the fact that her apartment had been built to begin with. She wasn't talking to him the way she used too. Perhaps they needed to have a conversation about her attitude. She was becoming very different.

ANBU? Quitting being ninja? Opening up her own shop? Going home with a stranger? What was she doing? Why was she acting out? It was unacceptable and it needed to be fixed.

She put her key into her door and turned around, "Thanks for walking me home." She turned to go but Jaxs gripped her arm.

"Wait." He murmured, leaning down and pressing his lips to her.

Neji stood frozen at the scene. He waited for her to push him away but she didn't. Not at first and he narrowed his eyes. It's not like she didn't know he was there.

After a moment, she broke away and glanced in his direction. Her cheeks were red. Her brows knit and a sudden pain flew across her brow. "Sorry." She whispered, "Good night."

Neji bypassed the fool and slipped in as she closed the door. She leaned against it. Her forehead pressed to the panel.

"Why are you acting like this?"

Her head began to rock from side to side. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore." Her fist pounded against the wood. She lowered to the floor, twisting so her back leaned up against the door and wrapped her arms around her legs.

Neji kneeled in front of her. "Go back to the Hokage and become Ninja again."

Tears blurred her vision as she stared sightlessly. They dripped down her cheeks and off her chin. He was tired of seeing her cry so much. She had never done such a silly thing before the war. She was strong. Unshakable. And could withstand life's ugly misfortunes. She needed to stand up and cease these silly moments of weakness.

"TenTen. Stand up."

She squeezed her eyes shut before she took in a breath and obeyed his command. She rubbed her face, sniffing, turning on her kitchen light.

"Oh god, what was I thinking?" She chuckled, shaking her head. "He's old. Gross." She began to remove the pins from her hair as she traveled through her apartment. "I don't even think Jaxs was his real name."

"Hn." Neji leaned against her couch, crossing his arms. He liked her place. It was neat and comfortable. She hadn't put too much effort in its decor like the last place. He waited until he heard her climb into bed before stepping into the doorway. There was a light on the side of her bed, shining. She pulled open the drawer and removed his forehead protector.

He was surprised by this and he reached up, touching his face, realizing he wasn't wearing it. "What are you doing with that?"

She rested it on the pillow beside hers and closed her eyes. "Stay with me until I fall asleep."

Neji sat on the bed with a stiff back, sighing. She was acting so strangely. He had never seen this side of her and he didn't understand it. He shouldn't be here, he knew and yet he couldn't leave her. Not when she was like this. He wanted to ease her pain. For whatever reason there was pain. He reached out a finger to wipe away her tear. His brows knit as the liquid pass through him and she shook from a sudden chill. He looked down at his fingers.

And through her drunken, sleepy sadness, she clenched his insignia harshly and murmured, "How could you leave me, Neji? How am I supposed to be the same without you?"

Leave? Wasn't he here? He hadn't left her. He hadn't gone anywhere. And yet, memories were beginning to form. Moments of a decision when Hinata had stepped in front of Naruto. It was the last thing he remembered. He wasn't even aware of how the war ended.

Neji looked down at his clothes and with a sudden haste he pulled the cloth open, to find a gaping hole where his heart was supposed to be. He snapped it shut, staring at his lap. "I'm here, TenTen." He found himself saying. "I'm here."

Part 2

Time did not move for him but he knew time continue on for her.

When Neji would return to TenTen's side, it was a new week, a new month, further and further from the war that had taken him. It was obvious by the development of their village and obvious by the shape of her grief.

He came to realize he appeared beside her whenever she was thinking about him. In the beginning it used to happen often and randomly. He could spent whole entire days by her side, simply watching her, enjoying her company. Now however as the weeks and months have past, his time with her is sparing. This had to do with the fact that she cut herself off from their ninja life. She did not associate herself with Gai or Lee. Her moment with ANBU took no further action and she had turned in her insignia.

He was here now following her into the empty building that would be her shop. She unlocked the doors and stepped inside, leaving enough room to follow. She took a deep breath, a bright smile on her face as she looked around at the emptiness. The sun was shining through exposing the expanse of the place as she journeyed further. Her hand travelling along the walls before she turned around and faced him.

He stood at the entrance with his arms crossed. He was unsatisfied. This wasn't what she wanted. This wasn't what they had strived for. She was settling and pretending she was fulfilled. He would not pretend to be happy for her. He would not fake a smile as she did. This was second best and she did not deserve second best.

She put her hands on her hips. "It will work." She shrugged.

He scoffed.

They sat at a bar. He leaned against the wall, watching the festivities unfold with annoyance. Friends had come together to celebrate the grand opening of her shop. People she had not seen in months found their way to her side to congratulate her. She was fake happy, greeting them with a hug and a grin. If she were really happy, he wouldn't be here but no one sees this, notices the underlying misery or perhaps they chose to ignore it. Maybe they all understand that no one really moves on. They simply make the best with what they have and they commend her for it because she is really doing a great job at it.

When Neji realizes it's been a year since the war, yet he can't quite grasp it. It was yesterday to him. It was an hour ago. It has just happened. How can time continue to move as he remains stagnant? He notices changes in people's appearances. Hair growing, faces changing, and children maturing. But he has remained the same, with the same outfit, the same features. Though he cannot see himself in the mirror, he knows this to be true.

Naruto and Hinata journey through the doors and her big belly proceeds her. He cannot grasp it at first until he sees their rings. They've been married and are growing their family. And it is then he notices other pairings. Sakura and Sasuke. Ino and Sai. Shikamaru and Temari. And the list continues. Even Lee has found himself a woman. She is a civilian but completely hypnotized by his strength and passion.

Then his eyes land on TenTen. She stares out the window, a moment of solitude as she sips on a drink. She is alone. So obviously alone. He approaches, hoping to mend her desolation, when someone else takes the spot beside her. Neji doesn't know this man, but TenTen greets him with a hug. Matsu is his name and how she came to know him becomes obvious as they begin to talk about the shop. He must have built it for her.

He can feel it, when he begins to fade away and he calls out her name, if only to stop the process but she cannot hear him and the scene disappears.

Neji finds himself in her apartment. He whips his head around, searching for her, needing to talk to her at once, to apologize for what he's done. And then hears her. Her heavy breathing.

He stares at the doorway as if it's a portal to darkness. He doesn't know if he wants to see it but she brought him here for a reason and he needs to know what's really going on. He approaches her bedroom and the light from the bathroom shines on bedsheets moving in a steady rhythm. He clenches his fists, every muscle in his body as he stares at her face. Her eyes are open as she stares back at him. A hand is above her head, clenching the pillow, but as he comes to realize it is not the pillow, it is his insignia and soon he sees a tear roll down her cheek as she closes her eyes. The man above her kisses her face and neck but as soon as he is done she pushes him off and grabs a blanket to cover herself.

"I can stay." He murmurs, catching his breath.

"I gotta get up early."

"Alright." He snatches his pants, uses the bathroom and comes out fully clothed. He approaches her again, "I'll see you around?"

She nods and pulls away when he leans down to kiss her.

He shakes his head and passes Neji. The door closing is the only sound to break the silence.

TenTen curls her legs into herself as she pulls his forehead protector out from under the pillow and brings it into her chest.

"TenTen."

"God...I'm so pathetic"

He sits beside her, feeling just as numb and empty. They stare at the ground for several minutes before she falls on her side, burying herself into the pillow. He looks down at her. "This wasn't meant to hurt you."

She sniffs, "Why won't you just go? I don't want to think about you anymore."

He is hesitant but he stands, "I'll go."

"Just go." She groans desperately.

Neji takes a step toward the door.

And then her voice sounds in a terrible plea. "Neji." Just his name, falling from her lips over and over and over again and he finds himself incapable of leaving. He kneels beside her bed and sits, staring at her tear-stained face until she falls asleep.

Part 3

Neji wasn't sure how much time had past. For him it was near seconds, moments, blinks of an eye, intakes of breath. For her...It was different. He wondered what made her think of him this time. She was at her kitchen table, reading. There were several books strewn over the expanse of the wood, open in different sections. She had a highlighter in her hand as she went about reading certain passages. Neji walked around her apartment, taking in the differences. There were additions to the wall. New weapons added to the decor. It had been tidy when she had first moved in but now her carelessness shown in the amount of shoes that piled at the door, the unattended laundry, and the dishes at the sink. He located a calendar and his heart sank.

Three years.

Three years had past and he was still the same. Would he ever get out of this? Where did he go when he wasn't here? Why didn't he have any knowledge of it? Was he stuck in purgatory, a place between heaven and hell? What had he done to deserve that? He had sacrificed his life so that the world would be saved. Didn't that mean he should receive peace?

He looked over his shoulder at TenTen. It wasn't blame he pinned on her but it had something to do with her. Perhaps she was the reason. She was his one single regret and he could not rest until he solved it. But there was no solving such things here on this plain. He could not interact in any of his surroundings and he could not change the past. So what was the point of this?

Neji leaned against the couch as he watched her. He recalled their last conversation. Was it this that decided his current situation?

They were heading to the battlefields. It would take all night to reach their location and soon they would have to split up. Neji would join the other close range specialists and TenTen would go off to a different platoon that collaborated with her fighting style. She would be alone and it was difficult to surrender to the idea simply because he had been her partner for six years. They were more than a team, they were a pair that fed off each other's strengths and hid each other's weaknesses. As silly as it sounded, he kept comparing them to the sun and moon. There is not one without the other.

He did not share this. She needed reassurance. And he would provide it.

The time had come. And he wanted to simply jump in the opposite direction like all the others but he found himself stopping on a tree limb and she jumped beside him, gazing in the direction she was supposed to go. She turned her head toward him. "It's real now, huh?"

"It won't be long. Our forces will join up soon."

She nodded.

He reached into his bag and handed her a blade. It was a small kunai, so similar to all her others but there was a difference on the handle. She looked down at it confused. "The fourth Hokage used chakra to pinpoint location. I figured out a way to do the same. I will be able to find you whenever I access my Byakugan. Do not lose it. I have no replacement." He turned to leave.

"Neji"

He shifted to look at her.

She clenched the knife in her hand. "I...I want to say something." Her cheeks heated and a nervousness seemed to swallow her.

"Don't."

Her eyes shot up.

"Fear makes us irrational. It clouds judgement. Anything you say now, will be meaningless. After the war, we'll talk. I'll listen then."

"What if we don't make it?"

He approached her and rested his hands on her shoulders, "You have something to tell me and I have something to tell you. Make it."

With wide eyes, her head nodded on a will of its own and he disappeared from her view.

Neji turned his eyes toward her. "I should have told you."

She stood up with a satisfied grin. "That's it." She grabbed the book in her hand, pressing it to her chest as she hurried into her bedroom. She appeared with his insignia and the blade.

It was in this instant, he began to wonder what she was doing.

She hurried out the door as he approached her kitchen table. The ancient books were hard to understand first until a highlight portion stood out, reading "Living Corpse Reincarnation." His eyes narrowed as he felt his breath still. The next highlighted word popped out, "Dead Demon Consuming Seal." He reached for the books but his hand went through them. He couldn't move them to find the other titles. He ran after her but the plain beneath his feet disappeared.

It was dark where they were. She lit candles around them but the room itself was draft and dreary. Her moments echoed in the emptiness of the vault. She was dirty. Her hands drifted away from the firelight but not before he could see the black dirt in her fingernails. He approached her as she sat on the ground. There was a wrapped bundle in front of her, darkened in this pitible light. His insignia rested upon it and the knife was nearby.

"What are you doing?" Panic took ahold of him and he sat in front of her as she read the last of the instructions.

"Okay." She whispered to herself. "I'm ready."

Neji attempted to grab her arms but his hands went through her, "Ready for what?"

"I have to do this."

"No, you don't."

"I hope you understand."

"I don't understand."

She smiled as she looked at him. "I'm doing this because I love you."

He shook his head, "This was my choice, TenTen. Don't take this from me. You have to let me go."

She connected her hands, forming chakra.

He once again tried to stop her but it was useless. "I won't forgive you."

"You'll forgive me." She assured herself as she performed another seal.

"Let me go, TenTen. Please, let me go."

Her head shook and she squeezed her eyes shut as she did another seal. "I can't let you go."

He swallowed harshly, and his gaze drifted. He thought back to all the moments he had with her. All those subtle looks and hesitant touches. There had been so many opportunities. So many chances. And he had let it all pass him by. "I thought there was more time."

Every muscle in her body began to shake as she twisted her fingers into a different symbol.

"TenTen, don't." He begged. "Trading your life for mine, what will that do? How can I live without you?"

His words were pointless, she couldn't hear him, couldn't feel him even as he was a breath away. She couldn't see him as he stared into her eyes, praying with all of his Soul.

Didn't she get it? She was the only one that could handle the loss. Fate had chosen her out of everyone to deal with a love unfulfilled because she would be capable of survival. She had always been strong mentally and physically. He knew this about her. He knew it since the moment he met her.

Neji looked around him. He needed to interrupt her but how could he get her to stop? He could touch nothing, do nothing, feel nothing. HIs blade shined in the dark. The inscription shining off the fire, a beacon in the dark. It had his chakra in its bindings. It had his blood in its core. The only one ever made and he had made it for her. He reached for it out of desperation. The touch of its steel was a shock to his senses. He wrapped his hand around and picked it up, turning to TenTen.

She still had her eyes closed. Tears were pouring down her cheeks as she did seal after seal. More and more chakra was expanding and wind was blowing through this depraved little cave.

He pressed the tip of the metal against the stone and began to write.

The moment she heard the scrapes, her eyes popped open and she snapped her head around searching for the noise. It was a simple phrase, one that took only a second to write and he dropped the blade aside and moved out of her way.

Her hands detached and the power of her jutsu faded as she crawled forward and leaned over it. A choked sob echoed in the emptiness of the cavern and her tears dripped on the dusty pavement. Her arms were shaking and soon she collapsed beside it, gripping the knife to her chest.

He sat beside her as she cried with the written words between them. And out of all the things he could have said, it was perhaps the least expected. Just as the moments before the war were an inappropriate time, so was now, as a ghost to declare his emotional attachments to her while unable to touch her, to kiss her, to love her as he wanted to love her. The time for them would have to wait. He would find her again. It was the laws of nature and he had no doubt, he would await her in the next life.

It took her a long time to calm. Her sobs becoming soft randoms sniffs until even that subdued. She stared at the ceiling. "Okay." She whispered, nodding her head.

As she stood, he did not hold out his hand to assist. She found her own feet and straightened her own back. She wiped her face clean and then gifted him a bright brilliant smile as she looked at him with clear, tearless eyes, "I'll see ya around, Neji."

She turned and walked away. He did not follow. He did not attempt. He felt a smile press on his lips. "I'll see you, TenTen."

He stood beside his insignia and the blade he had given her, with the words 'Make it' carved in the stone, till he disappeared.