"Anyways as per the terms of the contract I've found a temp to take over for me while I'm on vacation."
Naruto looked up at the giant fox that had been sealed inside of him for nearly seventeen years. Said fox was currently packing a suitcase that was about the same size as his home. Maybe a bit bigger. He could live in that briefcase. Like it'd be so easy. This had to be some kind of a dream.
"Huh?" It might not have been the most intelligent thing he could have said at the moment. But it was the only thing that he could come up with at the moment.
Kurama stopped packing to give him a look that Naruto had received a fair few times in his life. "You didn't listen to a damn word I said did you?"
"You were talking?" He was still staring at the briefcase. Where the hell did Kurama get that thing while sealed? And what about those clothes? Why did a giant fox need clothes! And were those swim trunks?
The fox groaned, moving away from the suitcase (or did the suitcase move away from him?) he flipped on a pair of glasses that sat neatly onto the foxes nose and he held out folded piece of paper in front of him that could easily be used as a blanket. "According to sub article six of our contract I am entitled to one hour of PPT and one hour of vacation time per forty hour work week, additionally over time will also contribute towards vacation time at double the rate."
"Uhh?"
"The demon" Kurama tapped himself in the chest with a paw. How was he even holding the document? He didn't have thumbs! "Will be unable to take Vacation time or PPT time until the vessel." A giant finger was sent his way and a bit of glare to make sure that he was paying attention. "Is eighteen years of age. Which if I'm not mistaken is tomorrow, or more specifically in about fifteen minutes, happy birthday by the way."
"Thanks?" Naruto blinked, where the hell was the giant grumpy fox that wanted to eat his soul and was constantly trying to break free? "Wait what contract?"
Another sigh. "Look it's all demonic soul binding jargon you wouldn't understand it."
"I don't remember signing a contract." He was fairly certain he'd remember something like that. Sure he'd forgotten some very important stuff before but he'd know if he signed a giant contract with a giant fox.
"Oh, I suppose you were rather young at the time, good thing Demonic contracts don't have that silly age limit you mortals have." The kyuubi shrugged his massive shoulders and extended a paw through the cage. A human hand holding a piece of paper appeared out of the bars, followed shortly by another one Kurama's house sized head was turned to look at it but just looked like he was staring off at the corner, both arms cut off at the elbow.
That was it, no more late night ramen. Okay, maybe still have that but less of it.
The finger tapped at the bottom of the page. There were four lines, two had signatures in black ink one was still glowing like embers on the page, and the last one looked like someone spilled on it. "Here's where your father signed as the initiator of the contract, your mother here as a witness, my signature is just below hers and that bit of spittle down there is your signature as the host. It's actually a great contract I'm lucky to have gotten this. I can provide a copy of it if you'd like."
"Umm, sure. But I'm just really confused."
"Where are you not?"
"Hey! I mean like what the hell is going on! I thought my parents sacrificed themselves to seal you inside of me or something." Naruto asked trying to swipe the page from the hands.
Kurama pulled his hands back and they reappeared as massive paws once again, a frown on his fox shaped face. "Not my finest work I'll admit, but I still had a contract of obedience with the Uchiha still active and once they terminated the one with your mother. That one was horrible by the way. I had no choice but to obey them. Not that it turned out bad for me, death and destruction is an effective way of job hunting after all."
The fuck? "Then what was with all that grumpy talk about threatening to eat me and wanting out."
"Ahh yes, well." The fox looked bashful. "I admit that bit was just me being lazy, if you were to find out I technically work for you then you'd probably want me to work harder wouldn't you?"
He could respect that. Wait no he couldn't. "What the hell! What about all those times you took over my body! And then all the times I almost died?"
"But you didn't. Look this must be a lot for you to take in all at once, let me get you a drink."
The darkness and the Kyuubi along with it vanished. Revealing a large and lavish two story home but cut in half so that all rooms were visible from the cage. There was a kitchen, bathroom, gym, bedroom, living room (With a large T.V. that had some kind of news station on), and an office. Inside the office was a man with black hair dressed in a suit and tie like some kind of business man. Nine tails the color of the setting sun followed behind him.
"Scotch or Bourgogne?" The man asked, his voice a carbon copy of the Kyuubi's. He dug through an ice box pulling out two bottles of alcohol. "Wait, you can't drink can you? Bah, its your mind and your birthday! You can get drunk if you want. I insist."
What the hell kind of drugs was he on? "What?"
"Hmm, it is your first time drinking perhaps something a bit softer, ahha! I have just the drink." With in no time at all the man was shoving a drink through the bars. "Bottoms up brat, here's to a great eighteen years and hopefully many more to come, this has been one of my better contracts to date."
Without thinking Naruto took the drink and poured it down his throat. It burned on the way down and by the time it hit his stomach it felt like Sakura had punched him in the face. "Whoa! What the hell was that?"
"A demon draft, personal favorite of mine."
"More importantly who the hell are you? And where's Kurama."
"Oh right, I forgot how stupid you are." The man sighed shaking his head before taking a long drink of whatever was in his glass. "This is my true form Naruto I am the Kyuubi, Kurama Kitan."
Somehow it was possible to become even more confused. "But? What?... Huh?"
"Honestly I'm going to explain this as simply as I can." Kurama held up the contract. "I am the Kyuubi a demon, I am a professional and I provide for my family by being sealed inside of mortals lending them my power. The contract I have with you is the best one I've had in awhile. It comes with vacation time. I have a lot of vacation time so I will be taking my family out on a vacation in about, ten minutes. Any questions?"
So many questions. "Uhh, how does a contract help you?"
"It's a job like any other," Kurama shrugged. There was a knock on the door. "Ahh, that must be my family, I'll see you in a few months Naruto."
"Wait! I had more questions!" Before he was forced out the seal Naruto managed to get a glimpse at Kurama's family. Kurama had one hot wife!
XXXX
What a weird dream.
Naruto groaned, pushing his head further into the pillow to escape the sun's growing light. There was just no way that Kurama was actually under a contract thingy or that he had a smoking hot wife, or going on vacation, or actually a human.
Naruto rolled over and felt something crinkle under his hand. He opened his eyes and saw a piece of paper. "Oh, it's just that contract thingy. No biggie."
He'd worry about that later, after another hour or so of sleep. It was his birthday after all he deserved to sleep in. Just like he deserved a wonderful helping of Ichiraku ramen later today. He could spend the whole day there and just be happy. Yea that sounded like a good birthday; sleep and ramen. Maybe he'd even be able to get a date with someone. That'd be good to.
Wait. Contract? Naruto shot out of the bad grabbing the piece of paper and looking at it wide eyed. He couldn't read it but down at the bottom was the signatures. And his spit!
Shit. That meant that. Shit! The Kyuubi was on vacation! What happened if there was some super powerful bad guy he had to fight? Sure he had other ways to fight them but he might need the Kyuubi's chakra! Wait, how long was Kurama going to be on vacation? He said months right?
"Crap! Kurama!" Naruto shouted, no answer. It never worked like that. "No this is fine, everything will be fine I can survive a few months without Kurama, I haven't even been on a super dangerous mission in months. He could just ask for a vacation. He could use a vacation, but damn… rent.
"Hello?" A voice echoed from inside of his head. It was a girls voice. She sounded cute and like she was about to cry.
"Hello?" Naruto asked back. It was too young to be Kurama's wife… probably. So either he was going crazy or. Oh wait didn't kurama say something about a replacement? "Are you the Kyuubi's replacement?"
"Hello?" She repeated sounding more and more scared. "Is anybody there? It's dark and I can't see anything. Where am I?"
It sounded like she was about to cry. Did Kurama stick a little girl inside the seal? He didn't seem that evil. Okay, maybe he did a little. But not trade places with a scared little girl without explaining things! Especially not after that whole redemption and friend thing they had during the war.
Okay, how did he get into that seal place before. Without jumping off a cliff. Just deep breaths and focus on going to the seal. Easy right?
When he opened his eyes he saw the same giant gate he was used to seeing there. But there was no giant fox. Instead there was only darkness. Where was that voice? Was she hiding behind the bars?
He felt a tug on his sleeve.
"Excuse me," It was the girl's voice! Only it wasn't exactly a girl, well she was just older than he thought she'd be, if anything she looked to be about his age. She had red hair a lot like his mother's that was tied twintails that looped behind her ears. She wiped the tears from her eyes and looked at him with violet eyes. "Do you know where I am?"
Cute! She was adorable! "Umm, you're inside of my seal? What are you doing here?"
"I don't know, my dad just said that since I was out of highschool he got me a temp job, I was supposed to start today but instead I ended up here." Tears still streamed down her eyes and she let go of his sleeve. "And now I'm going to be late for my first job and I don't even know what I'm doing here!"
Naruto grabbed her elbows, she leaned back in shock. "Hey it's okay I think you're in the right place. You were supposed to cover for Kurama right?"
Wait how was she out of the seal? Oh right it looked like Kurama could just walk out of it if he wanted to.
"Yea?" She sniffled a small smile blooming on her face. He really really wanted to protect that smile. It was just so pure and nice to look at. "I think so I remember my dad saying something like that."
"See you're in the right place. So why don't we introduce each other? I'm Naruto Uzumaki Future Hokage of Konoha I look forward to working with you!" He gave her the best smile he could muster, and extended a hand out towards her. "You?"
Her smile shifted and she took a step back from him a dark superior look overtaking her face. She struck a pose laughing into the back of her hand. "Muhahaha! Mortal you should consider yourself privileged to form a pact with me; Satanichia Kurumizawa McDowell future arch demon of hell."
"That's a bit to long can I just call you Satania?" That at least sounded cute.
Her shoulders slumped but kept the pose making it look pathetic. "That's what everybody else does." She shifted again. "Now then, from today forth you shall be my minion or else I won't allow you to tap into my demonic powers!"
He felt absolutely no power actually coming from her. "Umm… you know it's your job to be sealed inside of me right?"
"What!?" Panic spread across her face and the tears were already welling up in her eyes. "What do you mean? Do I have spend the whole time in here? What about food! And Clothes I didn't have a chance to bring anything with me! Please you can't leave me in here!"
Letting Kurama out was technically easy, so someone Satania's size shouldn't be a problem. But she was still a demon. Or at least said she was. "I can but you have to promise me something."
"What is it! I'll promise anything!" She clung onto his arm looking up at him with those wide violet eyes. He could feel her generous chest through her shirt. Soft. "Just please don't leave me in here!"
Damn that Kurama, couldn't he have left her with that house of his?
"All you have to do is promise not hurt anybody unless I say so."
"What! You can't give me commands!" Her face was red and she pointed a finger at him with one hand on her hip. Despite her stuttering she still managed to yell as loud as Sakura did. "You're my minion and-"
"I could just leave you in here."
That knocked her down to size. Her cocky smile was replaced by a look of utter fear and terror. Satania threw herself at him, grabbing onto both of his arms. "No please! I'll behave I promise I won't hurt anyone without you saying it's okay!"
"Great!" Naruto smiled placing an arm on her shoulder. "You're going to like Konoha I promise."
Whatever Satania was going to say was drowned out by the sound of her stomach gurgling loudly. Demons needed food? He had to feed a demon? What did they even eat? Her face turned red and she tried to hide herself inside his shoulder. "Do they have god food? I didn't get to eat breakfast." Her stomach gurgled once more. "Or dinner last night."
"Uhh do you eat ramen?" He could probably afford Ichiraku ramen today.
She nodded, his sleeve still clutched between her fingers. "I'll pay you back I promise!"
Her smile was worth it. Wait was he going to have to feed this adorable bum until Kurama got back? Oh god! He was going to go broke!
AN: Beta'd by xxTerror33xx. Hey there. Welcome to uhh this fic. I've been wanting to do a Naruto x Satania fic for a while. And finally found a good medium for it. I should add that I had considered having it with Rias instead but decided that Satania would be... funner? Might do a sexier one of Rias if this one does well! I'm going to go work on probably more "Punch Drunk Love"
Support me at
ko-fi dot com / yojimbra
Or not up to you.